I barely took a breath before she jumped into my arms again, her arms circling my neck and her legs circling my waist. I kissed her as I carried her to the bed. My mouth never left hers as I lowered her onto the quilt. I slid my hand along her belly, but she stopped me.
“No, I’m ready. I just want you inside of me.” Her voice was unsteady as she reached up to touch my face. “Please, Dawson.”
I lowered myself over her as I moved between her legs. She lifted her legs around me. She pulled in a long trembling breath as I plunged into her. It wasn’t our usual headboard banging, plaster cracking sex, but it was just as fucking good as the rest of the times.
Lenix’s fingers dug into the flesh on my back as I rocked hard against her, penetrating her pussy as deeply as I could. She responded by contracting her ass and bringing her body up to meet mine. It took little time for the two of us to climax, her pussy clenching around my cock as hot seed spilled inside of her.
I lowered myself onto the bed next to her. She draped her arm across my chest and rested her head on my shoulder. We lay there without talking, listening to the noise and the murmur of voices outside.
“They sure are patient. What a boring job just waiting around trying to catch a glimpse of someone. I mean, what do they expect will happen?”
“It is a little crazy, isn’t it? Most likely they just want a picture to see how I’m taking all this. And, they wait to see who visits the house. I’m sure they snapped some pictures of you on the way in. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not much entertainment news makes its way to Bluefield, and even if it does, people are too busy working and trying to stay ahead to care. I’m not too worried about all the publicity.” I smiled down at her. “Except, I’m sure once my coworkers hear, they’ll be having a good time teasing me about it.”
“When do you go back to Bluefield?”
“Saturday. I’m back to work on Monday. I was thinking maybe we could figure a way to get you out of here tonight, so you can stay with me. Maybe the hat, scarf and skateboard trick? I sleep a lot better when you’re next to me. No nightmares. No restlessness. Just your warm body tucked in next to mine and sweet dreams.”
She ran her fingers along the outline of my chest tattoos. “Nightmares? What could possibly be scary to a man like you?”
I thought about the strange, recurring dream I’d been having and how being with Lenix had somehow erased it. “I’ve been having this one where I am trapped in the mine, and—well, it’s gory. Too many zombie flicks before bed, I guess. Then there was the accident where I broke my leg.”
“That scar on your shin, that was a broken leg?”
“Yep, happened in the mine. Thought I was done for, but Kellan, my best friend and work partner, came back inside to find me. He knew something was wrong when I didn’t follow him out.”
She sat up. “Oh my gosh, now I’m going to spend my days and nights worried about you down in that hole.”
“You’re going to worry about me, Pixie?” I reached up and rubbed my thumb over her nipple.
“Yes. Now I’m going to have nightmares too.”
“That’s just it. I don’t think the nightmares started because of the accident. That was a year ago. Once my leg healed, I’d hardly given it another thought.”
“Then what’s causing them?”
“Back home, everything is changing. My two friends both found their soul mates, and I’m out on the fringe. I think that’s what’s been eating at me. I’m losing what I had. Growing up is a bitch, it seems.”
She rested back down. “If everything is changing back there, then don’t go back. Come with me.”
I curled my arm around her. “God, Lennie, as much as I would love to spend the rest of my days with you, I don’t think I could handle your world. I’m a small town guy, born and raised to be a coal miner. It’s what I know. It would be just as impossible as you coming home to live the rest of your life with me in Bluefield.”
“See, and that doesn’t even sound too bad to me. Especially if you’re there.”
“Then pack it up, baby, and let’s go. I’ve got a crappy little cabin at the end of town with a lumpy bed that would look fucking awesome with you lying naked in the center of it.”
She smiled and kissed my shoulder. “Be careful what you wish for, coal miner.”
“What about tonight? Can we sneak you out of this fort?”
Her body tensed next to me. “I can’t, Dawson. We’re leaving for the airport in a few hours. The guys have decided to go back early.” She tucked in closer to me. “I’ll be gone before nightfall.”
Chapter 31
Lenix
Dawson stayed until I finished packing. I moved as if there were heavy weights on my hands and feet. With everything that was going on, he was suddenly the only thing that mattered. He sat on the edge of my bed, dressed and ready to walk out of my life forever. I wasn’t quite sure how to come to terms with it.
I knew he hadn’t taken his eyes off me as I smashed my stuff into my bag, but I couldn’t look his way. I was steeling myself for the last kiss. As much as I wanted him to just drop everything and leave with me, I knew it was wrong for him.
Axel’s knock on the door startled me, and I dropped the brush I’d been holding. Dawson walked over, picked it up and handed it to me. My fingers wrapped around his and I held his hand as it gripped the brush. I willed myself to look up at him. He was six foot plus of heartbreak, pure and simple. My heart was crumbling into pieces in my chest. The first real tears broke free. I could see his throat move with a swallow.
“When you get time, when things aren’t completely crazy, come see me,” he said. “I’ll be waiting for you.” He reached up and wiped away a tear.
Axel’s booming voice rolled through the door. “We’ve got to go now, Lennie. Are your bags ready?”
I took a steadying breath. “Yes, come in.”
Axel walked in, shot a brow lift at Dawson, and grabbed my two bags. He left without a word.
I threw my arms around Dawson’s neck. It was a habit that had just come naturally. I just found myself always longing to be wrapped around him.
I forced a smile. “I may never feel safe again without your arms around me.”
Dawson didn’t say another word. He just tightened his hold on me and kissed me until Graham’s sharp order to get moving came up the stairs.
I took Dawson’s hand and led him down to the first floor. A stretch limousine had arrived to take us to the airport. At the same time, it had alerted all the spectators outside to be ready for some activity. Rex and Duff dashed out first with hats and sunglasses. They disappeared quickly into the limo without incident. Of course, they hadn’t been the ones to just have their tawdry past life laid bare for the world to know. Brick and Graham walked out next. I heard reporters shouting to Brick about whether or not he knew about my life as a porn star. He didn’t answer but flipped them off as he slid into the limo behind Graham.
I looked out the small window in the front door. The thought of the thick, oppressive crowd of people outside waiting to swarm me, suffocate me, squashed the air from my lungs. I struggled to get a decent breath. In that instant, I thought about what it would be like to work deep in the earth carving coal out of rock. It had to be nothing short of terrifying when something went wrong.
Dawson smoothed his hand over my back. “Are you all right, Lennie?”
I shook my head and once more pressed into his comforting arms. “Be careful. Don’t get hurt down there in that damn mine. Please.”
“I’ll be fine. But if I know you’re worrying about me, thinking about me when I’m down there, it might just make the work day a little brighter. Even five hundred feet underground.”
“I’ll think about you every day.”
Axel cleared his throat. “We need to move.”
He opened the door. For a second, it seemed it would be a straight shot from the house to the limo, but the people outside had been waiting for hours
to get a picture. All protocol and politeness disappeared. Axel walked out first, and I trailed behind him. Dawson followed us out and stopped to watch me walk to the car. I hadn’t seen the obstacle, but an impatient photographer had stuck his camera out at the wrong time, smacking Axel on the chin. Axel was usually forgiving and controlled his temper in most situations but getting clobbered had been just enough of a shock to send the giant barreling into the crowd. He reached for the camera, leaving me temporarily unguarded.
Like bees swarming a flower bed, the crowd swallowed me. Someone’s elbow hit my cheek and I stumbled sideways. I screamed as it seemed the anxious spectators had lost all sense and control.
Axel grabbed several shirts and yanked some of the people back. In the chaos, I heard Dawson calling my name. Then the crowd parted, as if someone with a machete was slicing through them. Dawson reached the center of the circle and swept me up. Axel took care of the hardcore stragglers as Dawson carried me safely to the limo. Brick and Duff had climbed out to help. They held the door for us.
I held tightly as Dawson leaned down into the limo and deposited me onto the seat. I kissed him long enough to make Graham clear his throat to stop it.
Reluctantly, I lowered my arms. I gazed up at Dawson’s face as he ducked back out of the limo. I watched him through the tinted windows. All the cameras now pointed towards him as we rolled away.
Chapter 32
Dawson
“So I’m trying to be enthusiastic and interested when Rylan talks about wedding plans, but it’s so fucking foreign and uninteresting to me it’s like trying to pay attention to a two hour documentary about how grass grows.” The whites of Kellan’s eyes glowed beneath the LCD lighting hanging over the break table in the lunch station. His teeth flashed white from his coal smudged face as he took a bite of his sandwich. I’d finished my first sandwich and was starting on my second.
Kellan leaned forward. “Come on, bro, laugh or smile or something. That was funny. You’ve been back nearly a week and you still look like the Grinch.” He leaned back and waited. “See, that was another fucking zinger and nothing. Not even a curl of the lip.”
The usual loud conversation echoed off the station walls as everyone inhaled their lunches and waited for the signal to get back to work. By the time the story that I’d been with Lenix Harlow my entire vacation had made its way around the mine, it had disintegrated into a rumor where most everyone hearing it laughed it off as bullshit. Even the pictures that were circulating the internet weren’t enough to convince most of my coworkers that I could have been with a famous rock star. I decided it wasn’t worth the time or energy to convince them. For the most part, I could have cared less what anyone else chose to believe. But Tommy and Kellan knew it was true, and they knew me well enough to understand that I’d left California pretty torn up about it.
I chewed my sandwich and stared across the table at Kellan. “Seven fucking years,” I said over my mouth of food.
“Seven fucking years?” he asked.
“Seven fucking years. That’s how long I had to stare at your grumpy frown as you pined and whined about losing Rylan. Then there were the ups and downs like a fucking pogo-stick when she came back to town. So you can just shut the fuck up about my Grinch face. I’m wearing it for as long as I want. Guess someone else will have to play the fun and cheery friend for a change.”
He coughed over his drink of water. “Fun and cheery. Who labeled you the fun and cheery friend? Thought that was me?”
“Fuck no. It’s always been me. Between you and drama king, Tommy, I’ve been the guy to hold our group together with my—what’s that the football coach used to say—great attitude and enthusiasm.”
“Yeah, the only enthusiasm I ever saw from Dawson, the football player, was your pure desire to destroy opponents in tackles and make out with cheerleaders behind the gym.”
We both laughed. I had to admit it felt good.
Kellan pointed his finger at me. “See, there’s that smile that gets all the ladies excited.” Kellan snapped shut his lunch cooler. “Have you talked to her, or did you decide a clean break was easier?”
The one minute warning bell sounded. “We’ve talked a few times, but she’s leaving on tour again. They’ve got some stuff going on with finding a new manager. And she’s still dealing with the fall out of her past. She’s too busy to give me another thought. Probably for the best. Like you said, a clean break is easier.” Even as I said the words, I knew they weren’t true. Kellan knew that too. He knew it better than anyone.
Kellan and I headed along the cross entry to the main passage that would eventually lead to the section we were working in. The lamps on our caps shot long glowing streams out in front of our feet, lighting our way back.
“Hey, Dawz, about that thing that happened on the day of the kettle bottom. I’m sorry, man. I had no right to be so pissed at you. You’ve seen me through plenty of rough spots down here. I shouldn’t have come down so hard on you. It was just the stress of the moment.”
“Yep, two ton kettle bottoms will do that to a guy. I thought I might have been losing my edge down here. It worried me plenty. One thing I’d always had was that this place, the narrow spaces, the suffocating darkness, had never bothered me. I’d always just considered it part of the job, and I still do.” The thunderous roar of the continuous miner caused debris to cascade down the ribs of the gallery where we walked. “There was just enough other shit happening in my life that made everything feel unstable. The bolts were still holding the roof of the mine up over my head, but nothing else felt stable. You and Tommy were the things holding up the rest of the roof.”
Kellan’s light brushed across the black walls like a neon paintbrush as he looked over at me. “Dawz—”
I put up my hand to stop him. “You’re both moving on and that’s cool. I’m finally getting used to the idea.”
“We’re still here for you, Dawz. And you’re still a big part of our lives. You know that, right?”
“Think I’m getting that now.”
We reached the mined out section where we were in charge of pinning bolts in place to keep the empty cavern from collapsing. Our roof bolting machines sat like sleeping, one armed beasts just waiting to be woken with a switch.
Kellan stopped me. “Having women in our lives doesn’t mean we’re moving to another planet or stopping any fun. It just means that now we have someone waiting for us when we get home.”
“I know and I’m glad for you guys. And I’ll be smiling again if I can ever lose this hard knot that I’ve had in my chest since I left California.”
“Hate to tell you, buddy, but that knot might not be going anywhere soon. I had one for seven years. And you know what Tommy was like whenever Andi came around. He had the same damn knot.”
We stepped up to our machines. Kellan took a deep breath. “Well, let’s get this sucker stablilized.”
Chapter 33
Lenix
Three months later.
The backstage rooms still vibrated with the restless rumble of the crowd as they slowly made their way to the exits. I sucked down my second Gatorade. It usually took me two days to rehydrate after a concert, even with sucking down at least six water bottles during the show.
“Nailed it, Lennie,” Brick boomed as he walked into the room. He held up his fist to bump. “Mandy says we’ve earned a break. She is fucking awesome. Don’t know why we didn’t send Rushton packing years ago.”
“Because if it weren’t for Rushton,” Duff said as he walked into the room with his energy drink, “the band wouldn’t exist. But I’m happy about the change. Mandy is doing a great job.”
A week after we left California, Graham moved on to help another fledgling band find mega-success. We spent another month interviewing manager candidates. Mandy, a thirty something mom with a major marketing background and an all around tech genius fit our needs perfectly. For Mandy, it was less about earning gobs of money, which we were still managing to do just fi
ne, and more about keeping the band relevant and loved.
Mandy walked in with champagne in an ice bucket. “Last concert of the tour. Well done, my lovelies.” She handed the bottle to Brick to pop the cork and put the glasses on the table. “I think you have all earned a break.”
Mandy plopped down next to me with a smile. In a few short months, she had already become like the older sister I’d never had. “How are you feeling, Len? More importantly, how is that million dollar voice?”
I patted my neck. “Still working, thank goodness. Actually, I was feeling pretty good out there. Most of the anxiety and stage fright episodes have shrunk to a manageable size where a little mental pep talk and some deep breaths squash them completely.”
“That’s good to hear. I’m so glad you’re taking control of those little demons.”
“Honestly, I think hiding the embarrassing reality of my past was weighing down on me. It felt as if I was standing up in front of my fans with a big sign that said, ‘I’m a phony. I’ve been lying to you.’ I know we lost some fans with the news, but I think we might have gained just as many new ones. It all worked out, and I’m relieved. Especially for the guys. They’ve been really great through all of this.”
“That reminds me.” Mandy pulled out her phone. “I got an email from the publisher about the book deal. Seven figure advance. What do you think?” She turned to me and actually waited for my opinion, for my decision. It was such a refreshing change from Graham laying down the law and making decisions for me. Sometimes I’d felt more like his puppet than his client.
“I think I’m done telling my story. I never meant for it to be an ongoing tabloid headline. It’s in the past. A book will only pull it all back into the present. I’m not up for that.”
She patted my leg. “Good choice. I’ll tell him you’re done considering the project and it’s a no.” Mandy reached up to the two glasses of champagne and handed me one. “Where’s Rex?”