So it was a good fit when Chris moved into our fraternity house. I took him under my wing and helped him through a difficult situation. I think when you meet people at such a critical time in life, you tend to keep them close.
When Chris realized that Anna was the person he wanted to marry, I was the second person he called. Emi– oh, Emi– was always the first he would turn to. In age, they were less than a year apart, and together they moved out of their father’s home when their mother left him. They attended a new high school together and stayed close to one another, holding tight to what little bit of familiarity they had left.
I could tell that Anna was “the one” that first night he told me about her. I’d known Chris when he was in relationships with other women, but none had ever really inspired him. He was so excited, so enamored with this woman... you could just hear it in his voice. Although I knew I would lose yet another one of my bachelor friends, I was happy for him.
So that night, I felt ready to address the crowd and wish all the best to my friend and his soon-to-be wife. Focused and confident, I was ready to speak... until I saw her.
She caught my attention from the moment she stepped out of the elevator across the lobby. She was impossible to miss, her pale skin nearly glistening in a red dress that attracted the eyes of every man around. The dress was what got my attention initially, but it was her smile that really drew me in, red lipstick highlighting the most perfect lips, curled up in a way that made it seem like she had a secret that no one else could know. I immediately wanted to know that secret, know every secret that she kept.
I somehow managed to tear my attention from her lips as my eyes traveled up the milky skin of her soft features. Her cheeks glowed with a natural blush as her pale green eyes scanned the room around her, eventually meeting mine. Our gazes locked and her cheeks became redder. I felt my lips fall open ever so slightly, but I was as helpless to close them as I was to produce a sound from them.
I felt as if I had the wind knocked out of me in an instant. All of my confidence disappeared as I recognized those eyes. They had haunted my memories for years. My breathing shortened to shallow gasps, all of my muscles tensed at the realization. It was Emi, and I had not seen her– and rarely had spoken of her– since that one night in college. She smiled politely at me, and I returned the greeting, wondering if– hoping that– she recognized me. As her eyes dropped to the floor when she turned into the ballroom, I assumed she did not. But how could she not?
I swallowed, then inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm my nerves. Buried feelings, one-sided though they were, returned immediately, rendering me lightheaded. I needed to sit down.
When I was in my fourth year in college, Emi entered our school as a freshman and came to one of our fraternity parties. Even then, her smile was what drew me to her, but her green eyes were what held me there, captive. Once I started talking to her, I couldn’t focus on anything else. She made me laugh with the animated way she recalled some of her first college experiences. She was very much my opposite, but at the time, she seemed to be exactly what I needed. To my black-and-white world, she wasn’t just grey, she was every color in between. Her free spirit made me feel more alive.
At first, after having one or two drinks, she was cute and flirtatious, and after talking to her one-on-one for an extended period of time, I was getting up the courage to ask her out. As the night wore on, though, and the alcohol took its effect on her, I lost my nerve and my chance when at least ten guys at the party had the same idea. Eventually, she had a swarm of lonely boys at her feet, bringing her beer, each hoping for a night that would end up with her in their dorm rooms. From my conversation with her, I didn’t think she was that type.
Chris, enjoying the party as much as the rest of our brothers, was naturally angry when I pointed out the crowd forming around Emi. He set out to defend her honor, slurring some threats to them, and eventually the guys backed away from his sister. Chris delivered a few choice words to her, as well, adding that she didn’t belong at his party. He called a friend of theirs and asked him to come pick her up. Chris was in no shape to keep an eye on her, though, so I made it a point to do just that.
She sat outside on a picnic table, her beautiful green eyes now glazed over, tired and red. Her elbows rested on her knees, hands steadying her head. Waiting for her ride to come, a few frustrated tears escaped from her eyes as she chewed hard and deliberately on a piece of gum. Two cups and a bottle of water in hand, I walked outside to join her, wanting to comfort her. I poured each of us a drink, handing a cup to her.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, taking a sip.
“You’re welcome,” I answered politely. I sat down next to her and fought the urge to put my arm across her shoulders, not wanting it to seem like I was coming on to her. I tried to find words to put her at ease, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. In the end, we both just sat in silence, staring out into the dark night in front of us.
After a half hour or so of sitting on that table, waiting, I had accepted the fact that her friend wasn’t coming.
“Emi, can I take you back to your apartment?”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to, but I’d like to.”
“He should be here by now,” she said.
“I really don’t mind.”
She sat quietly for a few more minutes before conceding. “Alright, I guess,” she said to me. I was happy to have the opportunity to see her home safely. I had no intention of “going back to her place,” but I was relieved in knowing that no one else would be going there, either.
Just as she tried to move off the table, she stumbled. I reached out to steady her, and she laughed, embarrassed.
“It’s okay,” I encouraged her, trying to help her up. Her face inches from mine, she quickly leaned into me and kissed me. It took me a second to realize what was happening, as she had caught me completely off guard. But as she sat on that table, vulnerable, beautiful, her soft kiss caused a whirlwind of feelings inside of me.
Of course, my hormones raged within at her touch, but it was so much more than that. I felt numb and incredibly aware of every sensation, all at the same time. My body was alive with energy, aching to burst free from the confines of my skin, yet I could not move an inch, wouldn’t move an inch away from her. Never before had I felt as if my life was missing anything, but in that moment, I felt whole.
I cradled her face in my hands. I brushed my lips against hers gently, teasing her, tentative, making sure that was what she wanted. When she pressed her mouth to mine again, I felt I had not misread her intentions.
I took in the moment with each of my senses. The lightly perfumed smell of her hair. The taste of her cinnamon gum. The warmth of her creamy skin. The music behind us, barely masking the noise of a revving car engine. The nearly translucent green color of her sad eyes... I had to open mine in an attempt to catch another glimpse. She was looking back at me with uncertainty, and we slowly moved away from one another, neither of us daring to speak.
As I helped her off the table, breathless, I noticed the addition of the dark convertible sports car parked at the curb in front of us. Without cutting the engine or the headlights, a tall, blonde, lanky kid stepped out of the car and stared directly at her. She stopped in her tracks and looked down at her feet, shrugging away from my loose grasp.
“Emi,” he said to her, concern escaping with a rush of air from his lungs. He stood at the curb and surveyed the situation, only glancing briefly at me as if to warn me to stay away.
“Hey,” she whimpered out unsteadily, ashamed, her eyes sparkling as she looked up to meet his gaze. She began to cry, and I couldn’t tell if it was frustration, embarrassment, or just the alcohol. The tears stirred him immediately into action. He walked briskly toward her. I could see in that moment that he cared for her deeply, and it seemed she felt the same way. Although there was noise and havoc all around as the party progressed behind us, his eyes were focused only on h
er, as if she were the only thing in the world to him. There was something between them, some unspoken thing, that made it obvious that he was the one who was meant to be with her, the one meant to go back to her place. Not these drunk guys. Certainly not me.
I backed away from her and watched as they embraced one another. She looked up at him, eyebrows raised, as if she were a child looking to him for acceptance, or punishment. His eyes looked down to meet hers, and just when I thought I’d witness a kiss that I really didn’t want to see, his lips barely brushed her forehead before his hand pulled her head into his chest. She sighed visibly, and he slowly guided her toward the car, her clumsy gait causing them both to trip. They laughed before he opened the door for her and helped her inside, buckled her seatbelt. He closed her door and leaned over it, staring into her needy eyes, brushing a few hairs out of her face. She put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled his face to hers, but instead of kissing her, he paused momentarily and slowly removed her hand, kissed her palm, and placed it in her lap.
He walked to his side of the car, and as Emi turned to wave goodbye, I caught the boy looking at me once again. He was no older than seventeen, still an awkward teenager. I met his gaze and held it. I imagined he was advising me to keep away from her. My stare was telling him to take good care of her. That was a battle I knew I couldn’t win.
“Would you like another?” the hotel bartender asked as I swirled the ice in the glass of scotch I had ordered to calm my nerves.
“No, thank you.” I had known Chris and Anna would be looking for me soon.
I was affected for months by the kiss I shared with Emi. As time went on, I expected my feelings to wane, but every time I saw the pale green color of her eyes, or smelled cinnamon, or heard the song that had been playing in the background, the feelings only intensified.
After I left college to focus on work full-time, I began dating a woman who lived in my building, creating an acceptable distraction. But in the ten years that had passed between our first encounter and this one, I had never experienced such intense feelings for any other woman, not even the one I had promised to marry. I had accepted long ago that Emi was a fantasy, not my reality. I had banished her from my thoughts.
I knew she would be at the party that night, but I had no idea what the mere sight of her would do to me. I had expected her to be different. With just one night together– and how little I knew of her– over the years, she became this vision, this ideal, this woman that I knew no real woman could ever come close to equaling. I expected her to be average. I expected to feel indifference toward her, to finally get closure to the questions that still lingered in my mind. Most of all, I had expected her to be unavailable to me, as she was back then.
I never expected what I saw that night.
The woman I saw in that hallway was hardly the same girl I had met. Here she was, ten years later, parading that same breathtaking smile and those green eyes in front of me, but she had an air of confidence about her that I didn’t remember from before. She was beautiful back in college, but she was absolutely stunning on that particular night. No, she was extraordinary. And the best part? She was alone at the party.
She was alone. I was alone. I had smiled inwardly, acknowledging that there was something between us that night in college, even though I had since convinced myself that I had created it all in my mind. I knew then, in my heart, that there was something there. I had to find out.
The scotch had obviously done its job, calming my nerves and giving me a boost of courage. As I walked back to the ballroom, I made slight revisions to the toast in my mind.
When I made my entrance, I immediately saw Chris waving me over to him. When I reached them, Anna embraced me warmly.
“I can’t believe how many people are here,” Chris said. “I wasn’t sure we’d be able to break away for the toast! You ready to go on?”
“I am,” I said, confident.
“Let me gather the band,” he said.
“Nate!” he yelled across the room. “Nate, come on!”
A tall man with disheveled, blonde hair joined the group. He looked familiar, maybe just another one of Chris’s college friends, but I couldn’t place him at the time.
“So, this is my best man,” Chris introduced us. “You’ll welcome everyone, he’ll do his toast, and then you’ll perform your three songs. Got it?”
“Yeah,” Nate answered him, looking a little distracted before settling his eyes on me. “Nice to meet you,” he said, shaking my hand. He looked at me inquisitively, almost confused.
“Likewise,” I told him politely.
“Right. Are we ready?” he asked me.
“I’m ready.”
“Let me get the guys, I’ll be right back.” He left momentarily as a waiter stopped by to hand us glasses of champagne.
“Congratulations,” I told them both just before the band took the stage.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Nate addressed the crowd. “On behalf of Chris and Anna, I want to thank all of you for coming out tonight. I believe, uh...” He glanced over at me before continuing, obviously struggling over my name. “I believe Chris’s best man has a few words to say.”
I walked on stage, taking my place behind the microphone. I cleared my throat and scanned the room until I found the beautiful woman in the red dress– she was impossible to miss. Again, feeling more alive than ever in her presence, I was determined and confident, and I began my toast.
“It’s rare that you meet someone who has the power to change the world as you know it. One day, you’re alone, going about your own business, expecting that day to be the same as all the ones before. Most days happen this way. And then, out of the blue, it all changes.”
I made brief eye contact with Emi and I felt my heart jump. I looked away quickly and continued.
“You meet someone that affects you in ways you never even knew were possible. From that day on, no day you live will ever be like the ones that came before. Your future is changed with just one word or one glance... one person that stands apart from all others.”
Again, I looked in her direction and noticed her cheeks flush as she averted her eyes to the floor.
“Chris called me the day that happened to him. From the moment he literally ran into her on Lexington Avenue, he never thought of another woman. The force of their impact caused her to spill hundreds of fabric swatches from the bags she had been carrying. The breeze on the unusually windy day took many of them into the street, and even though Anna, this woman, urged Chris to let them go, he insisted on stopping traffic to retrieve every last one.”
I paused, pulling a small square of yellow corduroy out of my pocket and holding it up to show the guests.
“This is the last one.” I heard a few giggles and “ahhh”s from the crowd. I glanced at Anna, who smiled at Chris before kissing him. “He kept it in his pocket, hoping to create a reason for them to meet again. He never needed it. They went out for coffee that afternoon, and never went another day without seeing each other or talking to one another.
“And that was the day he called me, the day he met her... the day he realized he had met the woman he would marry. When I had dinner with Chris and Anna a few weeks later, I knew he was right. She was warm and open, honest and sincere... a perfect compliment to his similar personality. They laughed all night together, their smiles were contagious. I couldn’t help but feel happier when I was around them. In Chris’s other relationships, love was hard, love was painful, love was work. But this was effortless. They made loving someone else look easy.
“So, to all of you who didn’t believe in love at first sight, I hope they’ve made believers out of you. Anna, you’re an amazing woman. And, Chris, you’re a lucky man. I couldn’t be happier that you found one another. May you cherish and love each other always.”
I raised my glass and drank, watching the crowd follow my lead. There was a little bit of clapping as I walked off the stage to shake Chris’s hand.
??
?Thanks,” Chris said to me.
“You’re welcome,” I returned, patting him on the back. “Hey, I think I saw your little sister here– she’s changed a lot since I last saw her.”
“Yeah, Emi’s here. You should say hi,” he said as he and Anna took me in her direction.
“Emi, I’m Jack,” I introduced myself, shaking her soft, delicate hand. “We actually met once at a party in college.”
“Jack, my god!” she said laughing and nodding as the loud chorus of the first song filled the room. “That night was a little fuzzy, but I thought I knew you from somewhere,” she yelled in my ear over the noise.
“Well, I recognized you,” I told her, unable to hide my attraction to her. “How could I forget? You are beautiful.”
“Oh... thank you...” she laughed again, waving her hand as if she always looked like she did that night. “Your toast was great,” she said. “I guess I have to come up with one for the reception. I’m the maid of honor, you know.”
“That’s right, I forgot!” In all honesty, I didn’t know, but this gave me hope of having many more opportunities to get to know Emi better. “I could give you some pointers for a speech,” I added. “Or if you just need a sounding board, I’d be happy to listen.”
“Thanks, I just might take you up on that. I’m not the best writer... or speaker... and I really don’t like being the center of attention. It scares me.”
“Really?” I asked as I allowed my eyes to leave hers briefly to travel the length of her body. I could feel my face get hot as our eyes met again and I realized she’d noticed me staring. Very classy. I normally had a little more self-control than that. I just couldn’t help myself. “I’m sorry,” I said, embarrassed.