Thanks to them, I understand that whatever is is provisional because the time and space that precede me and whatever I know about them I know only fleetingly, as I pass, purely by chance, through this hour and this place. The important thing is that the syntheses never finish, that no one save himself, ever, from the contradiction of being in one precise place and one precise time and nevertheless thinking about a time and place that are infinite, denying the end of experience, maintaining open the infinite possibilities for observing the infinite events in the unfinished world and transforming them as I observe them: turning them into history, narrative, language, experience, infinite reading …
My poor father: he grew up in this world, he lost it, and would take years to return to it by the most labyrinthine paths: his Sweet Fatherland, mutilated and corrupt, had to return to the universal promise of the physical wisdom characteristic of the men whose portraits hung in the pearlescent gallery of the house in Tlalpan and to the reason in the dream of heroic Mexicans, capable of being biologists, chemists, physicists, creative men and women, producers, productive, not only consumers, barnacles, drones, in a society that only rewarded rogues. The reason in the dream and not only the dream of reason: men and women devoured and devouring, chronophagous, heliophagous, cannibals eating their own fatherland. This is what Isabella and Diego, my grandparents, wanted to overcome. But now their son, my father, had lost the house of intelligence.
How long it would take us to return to the portraits in this gallery!
It’s time I revealed myself before you, Reader, and tell you I have already returned by way of my genes, which know all, remember all, and if, a bit later, I, like you, forget everything when I’m born and have to learn it all over again before I die, who would deny that in this instant of my gestation I know everything because I am here inside and you, Reader, are you out there?
3
And so, when his parents died, my father was brought to live with his Aunts Capitolina and Farnesia Fagoaga, sisters of his mother (and my deceased grandmother) Isabella Fagoaga de Palomar and that powerful survivor, my avuncular Don Homero Fagoaga (oh, horror). Although Don Homero did not live with his little sisters, he did visit them every day, took most of his meals with them, and in their house on Avenida Durango he honed his moralizing rhetoric and gave his punctilious lessons in proper Christian conduct. My father, between the ages of eleven and fifteen, was the principal object of this evangelizing.
It is not possible (my genes inform me) to give the precise ages of Capitolina and Farnesia. In the first place, my aunts have fixed themselves in an environment that denies them contemporaneity and that facilitates their seeing themselves as younger than all that surrounds them. While other ladies of their generation, less astutely perhaps, have sold off all the furniture, bibelots, pictures, and other decorations that at a given moment go out of fashion, Capitolina and Farnesia have never consented to deacquisition what they inherited and, moreover, to use and inhabit their inheritance. Wrapped in antiques, they always seem younger than they are.
The house on Avenida Durango is the last remnant of the architecture that flourished during the Mexican Revolution, precisely during the years of civil war, between 1911 and 1921: in the transition between the French hotels of the Porfirio Díaz era (1877–1910) and the indigenist, colonialist horrors of the reign of Plutarco Elías Calles, Maximum Hero of the Revolution (1924–35). Don Porfirio and his gang crowned their native versions of the Faubourg St.-Honoré with mansards; Obregón, Calles, and their disciples first built public buildings in the shape of Aztec temples and then lived in domestic versions of churrigueresque churches that had been passed through the filter of the Hollywood stars. The guerrilla fighters ended up living like Mary Pickford and Rudolph Valentino. Those who remained in Mexico City during the armed struggle, with gold under their mattresses and infinite ability when it came to hoarding food and attending property auctions—the Fagoagas, for example—built these mansions out of stone, generally one story high, surrounded by gardens with tamped-down dirt paths, fountains and palm trees, their façades ornamented with urns, vines, and impassive masks, their roofs crowned with balustrades and balconies with high French doors painted white. Inside, they stuffed their villas with all the furniture and paintings they’d inherited from the turn-of-the-century, the national Belle Epoque with its landscapes of the Valley of Mexico, its society portraits in the style of Whistler and Sargent, with display cases full of minutiae, medals, miniature cups; their pedestals with Sèvres vases and white busts of Dante and Beatrice. Heavy plush sofas, carved mahogany tables, red curtains with lots of tassels, much stained glass in the bathroom, stairs with red carpeting and gilt rug stays, parquet and canopied beds; washstands in every room, gigantic armoires, gigantic mirrors, chamber pots and cuspidors in strategic locations; the suffocation of porcelain, dust, varnish, lacquer, terror of fragile, tiny things; a house of look—but-don’t-touch. In their house the little Fagoaga sisters preserved a style of life, of speech, of whispering secrets, and excitation, all of it totally alien to the city outside.
Nevertheless, though they shared a style, they were quite dissimilar: Farnesia was tall, thin, dark, and languid, while Capitolina was short, pudgy, fair, flat-nosed, and febrile. Capitolina spoke in tones that brooked no rejoinders; Farnesia left all her sentences hanging in midair. Capitolina spoke in the first person singular; her sister in a vague but imperial “we.” But both practiced piety at all hours, suddenly falling to their knees before crucifixes and spreading their arms at the least appropriate times and places. They were obsessed with death and spent endless nights in nightgowns, with their hair braided, recalling how Mr. So-and-so or Miss What’s-her-name died. They only read the newspaper for the obituary notices, which they read with consternated glee. But if for Capitolina this activity was translated into the satisfaction of knowing about a misfortune so she could feel well, for Farnesia it was reduced to the conviction that sanctity consisted in doing more evil to oneself than to anyone else, and that this would open the doors of heaven to the inseparable sisters. Because Farnesia was absolutely convinced that the two of them would die at the same time; Capitolina did not share (or desire) such a calamity, but she would not argue with her high-strung little sister.
To go out or not to go out: that was their question. The house on Avenida Durango was for the sisters a convent proportioned to their needs. To abandon it was a sin, and only the most terrible events—like the death of a relative or bringing one home to live with them—could push them out of their home. But there were voyages out they believed—with pain in their souls—could not be postponed. Capitolina and Farnesia, it seems, had a passion: to find out what unbelievers were about to die so they could try to convert them on their deathbeds, for which purpose they dragged along with them the priest from the neighboring Church of the Holy Family.
No heretical will, no atheistic indifference, no lay prejudice, could stand between their crusading and the deathbed. They would clear paths by swinging their umbrellas, Capitolina snorting, Farnesia fainting, both advancing with their priest toward the bed where, more often than not, the Misses Fagoaga were accepted with a sigh of resignation or with saving praise by the dying person, who thus found in them a pretext to admit he was a closet Catholic and so to arrange his affairs—just in case—with the Other World.
This crusade by the Fagoaga sisters to save souls was put to the test by the staunchest agnostic among their relatives (by marriage), General Don Rigoberto Palomar, father of the deceased inventor Diego Palomar, husband of Isabella Fagoaga and my father Angel’s grandfather. General Palomar, whose life ran neck and neck with that of the century, had been a bugle boy in Don Venustiano Carranza’s Constitutionalist Army, and at the age of eighteen became the youngest general in the Mexican Revolution. His merit consisted in retrieving the arm of General Alvaro Obregón when the future President lost it in an artillery barrage during the battle of Celaya against Pancho Villa. Some say, maliciously, that the sev
ered member of the valiant and canny division leader from Sonora was recovered when General Obregón himself tossed a centennial gold coin up in the air and the lost arm tremulously rose up from among the cadavers and, with immutable greed, snatched at the money.
The modest truth is that the bugle boy, Rigoberto Palomar, accompanied by his faithful mascot, a retriever named Moses, found the arm, which the dog sniffed and took up in his jaws. Rigo kept the dog from gnawing the bone. Alvaro Obregón’s white flesh and blond hair made the famous arm stand out; the bugle boy delivered it personally to Obregón; he was instantly promoted to general. Out of gratitude, the brand-new boy brigadier shot Moses dead so no witnesses would remain—not even a mute one—to the fact that a dog was about to dine on the limb, which, as everyone knows, was preserved in a bottle of formaldehyde and buried along with the general, who, on July 28, 1928, a few days after his election, was treacherously murdered by a religious fanatic during a banquet held in a restaurant called the Lightbulb. Only General Palomar kept the secret of the President-elect’s last words: Obregón, as he died, dragged his one remaining hand over the tablecloth, his blue eyes fading and his voice imploring, “More corn muffins, more corn muffins,” before his inert body collapsed. Today, a monument to his memory stands on Avenida de los Insurgentes, in the very place where he died. Sweethearts meet there by day and marijuana smokers by night.
The guardian of all these scenes, both public and secret, General Rigoberto Palomar, was a national treasure: the last survivor of the Revolution in a political system excessively eager for legitimacy. All of which contributed to making Don Rigo—who was sane on all other matters—insane on the subject of the Mexican Revolution. He simultaneously held two contradictory beliefs: (1) The Revolution was not over; and (2) the Revolution had triumphed and carried out all its promises.
Steadfast between these pillars, Don Rigo, who grew up in the anticlerical cyclone of the Agua Prieta government, fiercely upheld secularism. Let no priest come near him: then Don Rigo showed that the Revolution was indeed on the march by committing some undescribable atrocity or other, from stripping a priest, mounting him on a burro, and leading him through town, to summoning a firing squad to the patio of his house on Calle Génova and pretending to go through a formal execution.
On afternoons, accompanied by his wife Doña Susana Rentería, Grandfather Palomar would climb up to the crest of a ridge with a stone in his hand. He would then toss the stone down the ravine and say to his wife: “Look at that stone, the way it goes on and on.”
This madness of General Palomar made him part of the national patrimony: the government named him Eponymous Hero of the Republic and the PRI gave orders that he never be touched or bothered in any way, an indispensable requirement in a regime where unwritten law, as always, was the personal whim of the man in power. The fact is that my great-grandfather lived a quiet life: he dedicated himself to administering wisely the goods and chattels he’d acquired honestly and lived out his life in perfect sanity, except as regards this matter of his revolutionary madness and his strange love for Doña Susana, who was left to him in the will of a landowner from Jalisco who had supported the Cristero revolt. His name was Páramo and he’d been arrested and murdered by General Palomar’s troops. His last wish was that Don Rigo take his daughter Susana Rentería under his protection, that he symbolically marry her, that he bring her up, and that he consummate their marriage when the girl turned sixteen. The girl, Susana Rentería, was only five years old when her landowning Cristero father was killed, but Don Rigo respected the idea of a last wish, above all that of an enemy, and accepted Pedro Páramo’s inheritance.
He brought Susy (as he came to call her) to his house in Mexico City, where he took care of her, dressing her as if she were a doll, in old-fashioned shifts and velvet slippers. When she was sixteen, he married her. There was a twenty-year difference in age between them, so that when Susy married Rigo, he was about thirty-six years old, and Cárdenas had just forced the Maximum Chief Plutarco Elías Calles out of Mexico.
None of the people who knew them had ever met a couple more in love, more considerate of each other, or more tender. Susy learned very quickly that her husband was an extraordinarily reasonable man in all matters except the Revolution, and she learned over the years to humor him and to say yes, Rigo, you’re right, there isn’t a single priest left alive in Mexico, not a single piece of land that hasn’t been returned to the peasants, not a single parcel of communal land that isn’t a success, not a single archbishop who doesn’t walk about dressed in mufti, not a single nun wearing a habit, not a single gringo company that hasn’t been nationalized, not a single worker who hasn’t been unionized. Elections are free, the Congress calls the President to account, the press is independent and responsible, democracy blazes forth, the national wealth is justly distributed, but there is corruption, Rigo, there is corruption, and it is a revolutionary obligation to wipe it out. The general turned the artillery of his revolution, simultaneously triumphant and permanent, against corruption, Rome, and Washington. Imagine, my tumultuous and elective genes, my Great-grandfather Rigoberto’s dismay when no one could hide from him the fact that the Holy Father, the Vicar of Christ, the Pope himself (and Polish into the bargain!) was in Mexico, dressed as a pontiff and not as an office worker, walking with all due pomp through the streets, welcomed by millions and millions of citizens of the Republic, celebrating Mass and giving blessings right out in public. Don Rigoberto collapsed, took to his bed, howling against the betrayal. He preferred to die rather than admit that Article 3 of the Constitution had been violated: why had all those men died fighting the Cristeros? Why did you have to die on us, General Obregón? Where are you when we need you most, General Calles? You may fire when ready, General Cruz!
Susy called the doctors and advised the family—including Capitolina and Farnesia, who saw a golden opportunity: charity begins at home. They dragged along with them the priest from the Holy Family and my poor twelve-year-old father, so he would experience the hard reality of life. They walked in scattering incense and holy water, calling for the salvation of wayward General Palomar’s soul and warning my young dad not to be surprised that, if Rigoberto did not repent of his sins, horns popped out of his head right then and there and Satan in person might appear to drag him by the heels to hell.
General Rigoberto Palomar, sunk in his soft but rumpled bed, was taking his last breaths when the Fagoaga sisters walked in with the priest and the boy. His wild, bloodshot eyes, his emaciated, tremulous nose, his palpitating throat, his half-open mouth, his entire face as purple as an aubergine, were not softened by his liberty cap with its tricolor (green, white, and red) cockade that he wore as a nightcap to cover his shaved head.
All the general had to do was see the sisters, the priest waving the sacrament on high, and the boy tossing the censer around like a ball-and-cup toy and he instantly recovered from his attack. He jumped up on the bed, cocked his cap coquettishly over one eye, raised his nightshirt to his waist, and waved a nicely stiffened phallus at the Misses Fagoaga, the boy, and the priest.
“This is the sacrament I’m going to give you if you come one step closer!”
Stunned, Farnesia walked toward Grandfather’s bed, murmuring vague phrases and holding her hands in front of her, as if she were expecting a ripe fruit to fall into them or a sacrament administered to her.
“Besides … In the first place … After all … In the second place … We…”
But her domineering sister stretched out her parasol and with the hooked handle caught her straying sister at the same time she declared: “To hell, that’s where you’re going, Rigoberto Palomar, but before that you shall suffer the torments of death. I’m telling you here and now! Now cover yourself, you’ve got nothing to brag about!”
The old man looked at the boy, winked, and said to him: “Learn, kid. What this pair of witches needs is to feel the whole rigor of the penis. I know who you are. When you can’t put up with these old bags, y
ou have a place to live right here.”
“You are going to die, you scoundrel!” shouted Capitolina.
“And in the third place,” Farnesia managed to say.
General Rigoberto Palomar never had another sick day. Balancing out the shock of John Paul II’s visit, he renewed his vows in the permanent revolution—there was so much more to be done!
After this experience, my father Angel was never the same. He began to realize things, some of them quite small. For example, when he kissed Aunt Capitolina’s hand every morning, he discovered that she always had flour and jalapeño pepper on the tips of her fingers and under her nails, while Aunt Farnesia’s hand smelled strongly of fish. The Misses Fagoaga ordered their domestic life according to purposes my father did not understand very well. He began to notice their manias. Their household staff changed constantly and for reasons Angel could not fathom. But they always called the maids by the same name: Servilia; Servilia do this, Servilia do that, Servilia on your knees svp, Servilia I want my corn-flour soup at 3 a.m., Servilia don’t use rags to clean out my chamber pot, which is very delicate and might break, use your smooth Indian hands. They were more particular in this than their brother Don Homero, although they all shared that creole vice. They needed someone to humiliate every day. The sisters sometimes accomplished this by organizing intimate suppers in which they did their utmost to confuse, annoy, or insult their guests. It wouldn’t have mattered to them if their guests ever returned, but the fact was, they observed, that the majority were delighted to return for more, eager for more punishment.
Miss Capitolina would fire off her irrefutable arguments: