I think I stopped breathing.
“I can’t stop thinking about being inside you.” He leaned over, his erection pushing insistently against my belly, and his lips whispered over mine, “It’s like heaven inside you.” His features were taut as he squeezed my breasts. “I almost want to punish you a little for making me feel like this.”
I sucked in air as I fought for some equilibrium. “And here I thought a woman couldn’t lead you around by your dick,” I attempted to tease him, but my words were hoarse with need.
He slid his body down, pushing my thighs open, and thrust his cock against me. I groaned, feeling a flush of heat move up my stomach from between my legs. “No woman can,” he maintained. “But you certainly have a habit of making me feel like a teenage boy peeping into the girls’ locker room.”
I chuckled throatily and Caine grinned. He nudged against me again. “I like that.”
“Like what?”
In answer he kissed me and I wrapped my arms around his back, trying to draw him closer. His lips moved down my chin, trailing in soft caresses along my throat and breasts. As much as I wanted his mouth all over me, I was desperate to explore him. I’d wanted to touch and kiss every inch of Caine for a long time, but since I walked in on him in nothing but that towel earlier in the week, I’d dreamt about having him at my mercy.
I pushed up, throwing all my weight behind the maneuver, and flipped him on his back.
He gazed up at me, eyebrows drawn together.
I straddled him, rubbing against his hard-on while I trailed my fingers lightly down his abs. His stomach tightened under my touch, and there was an answering throb between my legs. At least with sex we were equally in each other’s power. It evened the playing field, and I had to admit I got off on that. “You had your turn last time. Now it’s mine.”
Caine’s eyes glittered and he clasped my hips in his hands. “Have at it, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart.
I liked that.
I kissed him, wet and deep, as I pumped my hips against his erection. He tried to take over the kiss, his fist tightening in my hair, but I broke away from his lips and started kissing my way down his throat.
I nuzzled against him, inhaling the smell of his cologne that I loved so much.
While my lips journeyed down his chest, his hands were stroking me—caressing my back, my breasts, my sides, my stomach, and coasting down to cup and stroke my ass.
I licked his nipple and felt his cock jerk against my stomach.
Hiding my triumphant smile, I licked and caressed him. As I felt his patience strain, my mouth continued on its downward path, tasting every inch of his sculpted stomach.
I pulled back to unbutton his pants.
Caine’s every muscle was taut as I shuffled off the bed to yank his pants down. I stood, taking a moment to drink him in in his designer boxer briefs.
He looked like a brooding, sex-starved underwear model sprawled across my bed.
My nipples tightened.
“Fuck,” Caine whispered, staring up at me with something akin to awe on his face.
He didn’t have to say anything. His eyes said it all.
He had a way of making me feel like the sexiest woman alive.
Before I could make my next move, Caine hooked his fingers into his boxer briefs and pushed them down, his erection springing out.
I took over, pulling them off and discarding them on the floor. Panting now, I crawled back onto the bed, and over his body, coming to a stop at his cock.
Without a word I lowered my head and took him into my mouth.
His exultant groan echoed around the room.
I wrapped my hand around the base of his hard-on and fisted him while I sucked. I found my rhythm quickly, growing more and more turned on as Caine’s pleasure intensified. His chest heaved, his thighs taut as his hips pumped upward, thrusting his dick in and out of my mouth and fist.
“Lexie,” he gasped, and I squeezed my thighs together, desperate for my own relief. “Stop.”
His fingers brushed my arm.
“Lexie.”
But I couldn’t. I wanted him to lose control completely. I needed him to.
Suddenly I was jerked up and over him so I was straddling him.
“You had your turn,” he growled, dipping his fingers beneath my panties. His eyes flashed. “So wet.”
I pressed down on his fingers as they slid easily inside my slick heat. “I get off on making you lose that tight control of yours,” I admitted, my words soft.
“Is that right?” He increased the strokes of his fingers inside me, pushing me toward climax.
I was so turned on I knew it wouldn’t take him long to get me there.
“Works both ways … I’ll make you lose control first.”
I dislodged his fingers and pushed my panties down, leaning on my side so I could slip them down my legs. Once they were gone, I straddled him again and wrapped my hands around his cock, bringing it to my center. “I accept that challenge,” I gasped as I eased him inside me. My head fell back, my eyes closing as I savored the feel of him filling me.
He grabbed my hips, his fingers biting into my skin, and my eyes flew open at his touch. Our gazes held as I began to ride him.
My entire focus was on him, on us, on our pleasure. There was nothing else but his eyes staring into mine, the feel of his heated skin under my hands, his hands gripping my hips, guiding me up and down him, the sounds of my pants, his groans, the smell of sex in the air …
The tension coiled tighter and tighter inside me and there was nothing on my mind but chasing ecstasy. My rhythm changed and I slammed down harder.
“Lexie,” Caine gasped, his grip almost bruising now. “Fuck, Lexie.”
“Yes, yes, yes, ye—”
The breath rushed out of me as I found myself unceremoniously flipped onto my back. Caine pinned my hands at the sides of my head and pulled out of me.
“What are you doing?” I moaned in frustration, pressing my thighs against his hips in hopes of drawing him back to me.
He brushed his mouth over mine, flicking his tongue teasingly against my lips. He pressed sweet kisses along my jaw to my ear and whispered, “Just reminding you who’s boss.”
My frustration transformed to indignation and I tried to pull my hands loose. “Are you kidding me?”
His body shook against mine and when he raised his head I saw he was laughing.
I narrowed my eyes and unsuccessfully attempted to loosen his hold on my hands. “You really are a control freak.”
“It’s all part of my charm.” He kissed me, this time trying to push inside, but I clamped my lips closed, furious with him. Apparently I didn’t appreciate the burn of an unfulfilled climax. “Lexie,” he murmured, his tone coaxing, “open your mouth.”
I shook my head adamantly.
Caine smiled and pulled back. “You really are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met.” He moved his hips, bringing his erection back against my wet center. I sucked in a gasp of pleasure. “It makes me want to tame you with no hope of success.”
That penetrated and I found myself smirking. “You like me stubborn, huh?”
He released one of my hands so he could cup me between my legs. I moaned as his thumb pressed down on my swollen clit. “I wouldn’t have you any other way, Alexa Holland.”
I gasped at his use of my surname, the blatant acknowledgment of who I was. The sound of my shock was swallowed in his deep, passionate kiss that told me he no longer cared who my family was. He wanted me.
Me.
I curled my fingers in his hair, kissing him back with everything I had, but as his thumb continued to circle my clit I could only focus on the pleasure building in my core. Caine took over the kiss while I sighed and panted and murmured his name into his mouth as my hips pushed up against his touch.
My fingers tightened in his hair. “Caine,” I gasped, and my thighs trembled.
One more press.
His th
umb slicked over me and took me right over the edge.
As my whole body was taken over by the powerful orgasm, Caine took my free hand and pinned it again. I cried out as he slammed inside me, my inner muscles clamping around him while he thrust deep.
“Lexie,” he groaned, his eyes flashing with satisfaction.
I echoed that satisfaction, my body feeling fluid and languorous beneath his as he moved inside me. He pumped harder into me, his fingers lacing with mine and holding me down so I was completely at his mercy. To my amazement I began to feel pressure growing inside me again, a burn of pleasure-pain.
I moved my hips against his thrusts and set him ablaze.
He let go of my hands and got onto his knees, gripping my thighs, opening them wider. And then he pounded into me. I could feel his cock kissing my womb.
“Take me, Lexie,” he growled, his words guttural, broken.
I could do nothing but that.
And it was incredible to watch as his pumping hips stuttered, the muscles in his neck corded, and his teeth gritted. His climax tore through him.
“Christ.” His chest heaved and he let go of his bruising grip on my thighs to collapse over me. His body melted against mine as he tucked his face into the crook of my neck.
Our chests moved against each other’s as we tried to catch our breath, and Caine’s warm hand coasted down my left side and then curled around the back of my thigh. He gently pulled on it and I understood what he was asking for.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his back and held him to me for a long while.
CHAPTER 14
Perhaps it was the light streaming in from the curtains that hadn’t been closed all the way, or maybe it was just that somewhere in my subconscious I could feel the heat of his gaze on my face.
Whatever it was that woke me, I did so to discover Caine lying beside me on his side, his head resting on his hand and his eyes on me.
He’d been watching me sleep.
Memories of last night flooded me. After our first round we’d drifted to sleep for a little while, but I woke up in the dark of night to find him beside me and I’d instigated an energetic round two.
Sated, we’d fallen asleep right after it.
It was the best sleep ever, after the most wonderful sex ever, but now we were awake in the light of day. I didn’t know what it meant that Caine had stayed in bed with me until morning. I didn’t know what it meant that he’d watched me sleep.
My stomach flipped as I realized that I was about to find out for sure.
“Hey,” I greeted him, my voice soft, uncertain.
Caine reached out with his other hand and stroked his thumb along my cheekbone. “Hey.”
The fact that he wasn’t bolting out the door suggested that this might turn out to be a good morning after all. But I wanted to know for sure. “You look pensive.”
“I’ve been lying here thinking about the way I’ve treated you.” He frowned. “I don’t like guilt, Lexie. I try to avoid it.”
His perturbed countenance made me snort. “You have your moments.”
“I’ve made you work your ass off.”
“True.”
His eyes grew black. “I put you in a shit position with Phoebe.”
“Also true.”
“I was insulting because I didn’t want to admit I was attracted to you.”
Wow. Okay. I had not expected him to freely admit that. The fact that he could apologize caused the warm, mushy feeling in my chest to expand. “And now?” I held my breath, waiting in hope for a positive answer.
Caine’s eyes dipped to follow his fingers as they whispered across my collarbone and down over the rise of my breasts. I shivered under his touch and he looked up at my face. “I held who your family is against you when I shouldn’t have. You can’t help where you come from. Just like I can’t.”
I stared up at him, relieved he’d finally realized the truth in that.
His lips curled at the corners in this sexy smirk. “You know you’re the only one who dares to yell at me. I’m not sure I like it.”
I assessed him and the amused arousal in his expression. I grinned. “I don’t think you hate it.”
Instead of smiling at my retort, Caine grew suddenly serious. “You were right last night, you know. You deserve better. That’s why … I have something I need to tell you.”
My stomach dropped. “You do?”
“I don’t want to hurt you, but you need to know the truth about your father and grandfather.”
The look in his eyes told me I did not want to know whatever it was he had to tell me. “Caine …,” I whispered.
“Edward was the one who paid off my dad. Not Alistair. Your grandfather gave my dad the blood money to keep my mom’s death and your dad’s involvement in it quiet.”
I felt like the bed had disappeared beneath me and I’d just smacked into the floor. Hard. I stared at Caine as I attempted to process what he’d just told me.
My grandfather, the one person I thought I could rely on, was a part of the ugly family history. He’d tried to cover up my father’s sins? Why? It wasn’t for my dad obviously, because he’d gone on to disinherit him. It was to protect the Holland name. To protect their place in society. I felt sick.
If Grandpa was capable of that…. then what kind of man was he really?
Memories of his soft words, his tenderness flooded me. The man I knew was so at odds with the man Caine was telling me he was. And if Grandpa was the one who’d paid Eric off, then that meant my father wasn’t as terrible as I thought. He was still terrible … but he wasn’t the only catalyst for Eric’s suicide.
Oh my God.
“Are you sure? How do you know?”
Caine’s eyes were hard. “Because I was there when he did it.”
“Oh my God.” My chest ached so badly.
“Lexie?”
I looked up into Caine’s troubled gaze and realized something. Caine had just told me the last thing I wanted to hear … If it had been anyone else, if they had kept this from me and then blurted it out in a moment when I was vulnerable, I might have held it against them. But not Caine. In fact, my concern was not only for myself but for him too, and that was when I realized that what I felt for him was real. “You must hate them so much.”
“Hate is giving them too much power.”
In that moment his strength washed over me, and the hurt, the pain I was feeling at his revelation was diminished a little by the fact that he was here with me, and the look in his eyes was tender. “You’re the one real thing in my life right now,” I said upon the sudden realization. “You should know I don’t want to let that go.”
He brushed the tips of his fingers across my cheek and said, “I’m not the guy you’re looking for, Lexie. I’m never going to be that guy.”
That hope I was feeling unhooked itself from my chest and plummeted into my stomach, causing a flurry of nervous ripples in it. “What are you saying?”
Regret clouded his gaze. “You’re looking for something special even if you won’t admit it. And me? I can’t compromise, I can’t change, and I can’t do forever. It’s just not in me.” He caressed my arm with his knuckles and there was the heated purr of a growl in the back of his throat as he continued. “But I don’t want this to end just yet either. We like each other. We want each other.”
I looked up at him, surprised. I’d thought we were about to discuss my departure from his life, not—
“And the sex is …” He grinned wickedly. “I don’t know about you, but I’d really like to explore that some more.”
My body tingled just at the thought of it, but I didn’t know how to respond. I already knew I was emotionally invested in Caine. Sex wouldn’t be enough for me. Would it?
“I’m selfish enough to ask for more time with you, Alexa. We could enjoy this together for however long it’s good, and then we would walk away when it was time to end it—no harm, no foul.”
Looking u
p into his handsome face, I wondered how on earth I was supposed to respond to such a suggestion. As Caine looked at me I caught the warmth in his gaze while he waited for my answer. He’d never looked at me that way before. There was something in that look. Something … more.
No.
It was a dangerous idea.
Yet … wasn’t it worth a try?
The worst could happen, of course. I could fall for him and he could still want to walk away from me at the end of it all.
But Effie said Caine needed a woman who was bullheaded and persistent. I had no hope of changing how he felt about me, about us, if I wasn’t there to do it. He said he was selfish, but I’d seen another side of him with Effie. Caine could be a sweet, good guy. He just didn’t realize it.
I felt guilty before I even opened my mouth because I knew I was about to agree to have an affair when the truth was I was angling for more.
“Okay.” I gave him a tremulous smile that strengthened under his answering grin.
And as he kissed me I tried to quiet my guilt. After all, my little white lie was told for the greater good. It would all work out in the end if Caine and I both found the happiness we were searching for.
Or so I hoped.
One minute we were kissing and then the next Caine was up and out of bed getting dressed.
I leaned up on my elbows, watching the muscles in his arms flex as he pulled on his pants. He looked over at me as he reached for his shirt. Obviously noting the confusion on my face, he explained, “We have a flight to catch. I need to shower.”
Right. “So do I.” I watched in disappointment as he buttoned up the shirt, hiding his gorgeous abs from me. “We could shower together, save us some time.”
He threw me a look. “Somehow I think we won’t save time doing that.”
I smiled at the thought. “Yeah, probably not.” Heaving a sigh, I swung my legs out of bed. “Fine. I’ll meet you in the lobby in an hour.”
Caine nodded, grabbed his jacket, and started toward the door.
I stared after him, more than a little nonplussed that he was leaving without giving me a kiss. Of course, I’d just agreed to a no-strings-attached affair with him, so I guessed I shouldn’t hold out for silly little important things like affection.