She smiled a little nervously, and I wondered if she was feeling like a fish out of water. I knew that feeling well. “This place is insane, right?” I said, bugging my eyes out humorously.
Nadia gave a huff of relieved laughter. “It’s not what I’m used to.”
“I hear you.” I nodded, scanning the room. My eyes fell on a waiter who was serving appetizers. “But the mini crab rolls at these things are usually to die for.”
“Nowhere near as good as the crab rolls we used to get at this little deli on campus at Wharton.” Henry closed his eyes in exaggerated blissful reflection. “Oh, those were the days.”
I smirked. “Crab rolls. That’s what you remember most about business school?”
“I didn’t say that.” His eyes popped open as he grinned. “The women were also very memorable.”
“Oh, so it was the crabs you remember most?”
He snorted. “I wasn’t that bad. Okay … I was almost that bad.”
“How did you put up with him? Or were you even worse than him?” I said to Caine.
Caine didn’t join in on our teasing. If anything he looked more uncomfortable than ever.
And I knew why. I sighed in exasperation. “Caine never talks about Wharton. It’s like he’s wiped it from existence.”
Henry sobered as he and Caine shared a dark look I didn’t understand. Uneasiness moved through me, but before I could say anything Caine beat me to it.
“We’ll get you a crab roll in a minute,” Caine said, returning to our earlier conversation. “First we have to go over and say hello to the Delaneys.”
He was already physically guiding me in that direction before I could protest. I shot Nadia and Henry an apologetic smile over my shoulder and then hissed, “That was rude.”
His fingers curled into my dress. “Excuse me?”
“I think it would have been nice for us to hang out with them a little longer. Nadia is clearly not comfortable being here, and since I know what that feels like, it might have been nice to spend time with her.”
“We’re here on business.”
“I thought we were here because it’s a charity event.”
“We’re here because if the Delaneys invite you to an event, you go. They own a third of the real estate in Boston, Philadelphia, and nearly all of Providence. That’s a lot of money, and I’m in the business of making money, so I don’t ignore them. So yes, it’s business.”
I was stiff against him as we neared the host and hostess. “I wish I knew what was wrong with you tonight.”
Caine didn’t reply. He just pasted on a polite mask and introduced me to people who peered at me speculatively and then turned their attention elsewhere.
I sighed inwardly, my eyes searching for a waiter.
I needed a drink if I was going to survive this crowd and Mr. Moody.
While Caine was busy talking with one of his board of directors, Henry’s father and some investment guy I’d never met before, I managed to subtly back away from the group so I could rescue Nadia, who Henry had abandoned beside the ballroom entrance for whatever reason.
“You look like you need this,” I said as I approached and offered her a fresh glass of champagne.
Nadia smiled gratefully, a gorgeous smile that along with her figure had gone a long way to making her the most popular weather girl in Massachusetts history. “Thank you. Henry was pulled away by some catty society girl and there really was no polite way for him to get out of it.”
“Henry’s a catch around these parts.” I smiled sympathetically. “The women that have grown up in his circles think of him as theirs.”
“I’m getting that.”
“Honestly, I think they bore him,” I reassured her.
“Well, I’m from Beacon Falls, Connecticut, which is a slightly different crowd of people. Definitely not boring.” She grinned dryly.
My mouth fell open. “I’m from Chester.”
“No way.” She chuckled. “We grew up, like … what? An hour from each other?”
“It’s a small world.”
From there we launched into conversation, talking about growing up in Connecticut, about college, about Boston, and our favorite places in the city. What I liked about her was that she didn’t ask me about my relationship with Caine, just as I didn’t pry about hers with Henry. Nadia didn’t even comment when the stunning Phoebe Billingham floated by in Chanel Couture and threw me a look that would have felled a mountain lion.
That was awkward.
What was not awkward was conversation with Nadia. We clicked, and in the back of my mind I was already cursing Henry for introducing me to her, knowing that our friendship probably wouldn’t last, given his reputation with women.
Nadia and I could have chatted all night with each other, and I was pretty sure we would have if Henry hadn’t come back to claim his date.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, ladies.” Henry reached out and gently tugged Nadia toward him. “My father is finally free from the bigwigs and I want to introduce you to him.”
Nadia paled. “Your father?” She shot me a pleading look, but there was nothing I could do but offer her a bolstering smile as Henry dragged her away.
“Finally,” a familiar voice grumbled behind me as a hand wrapped around my wrist and jerked me backward.
I stumbled out into the hallway to face my very anxious grandfather. “Grandpa?” I looked around, but the hallway was nearly empty, only occupied by staff and security.
Without a word Grandpa spun on his heel and started walking. I hesitated a moment, unsure if I should follow him. That sharp ache of betrayal knifed across my chest as I watched his departing back.
That was when I realized I was fed up with living with the uncertainty I felt about him. I hurried to follow him, keeping up as he took a corner and strode down a much narrower hallway. He stopped at large sliding doors and pushed them open. “Inside,” he said quietly, darting in.
I found myself in a beautiful study. Books lined the walls on intricately carved dark wooden shelving. An equally stunning library desk sat in the corner, a burgundy leather armchair chair behind it. A sofa with cashmere throws strewn stylishly over it sat before a grand fireplace.
The doors slid shut behind me.
Dressed in a superbly cut tux and sporting a new and very distinguished short beard, Edward Holland looked every inch the respectable gentleman. I wasn’t so sure anymore that it wasn’t all just a facade.
He scowled at me in disapproval. “Your grandmother and I arrived only fifteen minutes ago and already someone has speculated in our presence about your relationship with Caine. What the hell were you thinking coming here as his date?”
My cheeks burned. I felt like a scolded child. “We haven’t said I’m his date.”
“Oh, well, that makes it okay, then.”
“Don’t.” I shook my head stubbornly. “Obviously now is not the time to discuss this, but we do need to discuss it. Caine isn’t comfortable hiding our relationship anymore and neither am I. To be with him I’m going to have to be a part of this community, and people are going to question my connection to the Hollands. We don’t have to decide right away whether we lie to everyone or not … but it is time you stop lying to your wife.”
“I never wanted you to be a part of this. I didn’t want these people, my people, to hurt you.” He gazed at me in concern. “You and Caine have grown serious, then?”
“Yes.” I took a step toward him. “I know this is huge, and I know you’ll need time to think it over and prepare yourself. I just wanted you to know that with the way things are progressing, it may not be too long before questions are asked and I’d like to know how to answer those. I believe you’ll have to discuss that with my grandmother before a decision can be made.”
He ran a hand through his short hair. “This is going to be a bloody mess,” he muttered quietly.
All this secrecy just so he didn’t have to put up with drama.
That was when I
snapped. “I know, you know. He told me.”
Grandpa frowned. “What are you talking about?”
As much as I hated to acknowledge that the only family I had left had done something terrible, Grandpa’s actions with Eric were despicable, and I needed to know why he did it. I found the courage to ask something that had plagued me for the last few weeks. “Why did you do it?” I said, my words soft, tentative. “Why did you cover it up?”
Understanding slackened Grandpa’s features seconds before regret darkened his eyes. “I was protecting my family,” he said softly, his defeated expression suggesting he knew how weak an excuse that was. “It wasn’t until afterward, when I discovered Caine’s father had … Well, the guilt and the shame … I couldn’t rid myself of it. The only way I knew to alleviate it was to exact some kind of justice for Caine. My only way to do that without hurting the rest of the family was to disinherit and disown my son. Losing his money and status.” Grandpa shook his head. “That hurt Alistair more than anything else could.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about your involvement in the cover-up?”
“Because I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.”
“I don’t know how else to look at you. I don’t know if I can believe anything about you anymore. Honestly I don’t even know if you love me.”
“Alexa, of course—”
I moved past him, sliding the doors open and cutting him off because suddenly I knew I wasn’t ready to hear his answer. I wasn’t ready to believe it. “I have to get back before Caine wonders where I am.”
Striding toward the ballroom, I willed my heart rate to slow down, but it wouldn’t. My hands trembled as I returned to the ballroom, and this had everything to do with the strange sense of foreboding that had come over me.
It never occurred to me until I faced my grandfather that there was a huge possibility that I’d have to give Grandpa up once the truth came out. I didn’t know how to forgive him just yet … And even if I did I couldn’t imagine his family would want him to have anything more to do with me, and I was starting to think that perhaps the whole reason the idea of revealing the truth upset him was that he knew he’d have to choose …
I stopped, staring dazedly around the room.
… and he would choose them over me.
Like always I’d be second best.
Needing Caine, I scoured the room for him, but I couldn’t see him.
“He left the room with Regina Mason.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Phoebe, who was standing with one arm wrapped around her waist while she casually sipped her champagne. I would have expected there to be spite in her eyes, but to my surprise there was only begrudged sympathy.
I stiffened at the sympathy. “Left?”
She nodded her pretty head toward where I’d just come in.
I decided not to mention that it was slightly stalkerish of her to be watching Caine, and instead nodded my thanks and headed back out into the hall. They were nowhere to be seen, which meant searching. I decided to start by checking the rooms on the right off the large entrance hall.
My heart was beating faster now for a different reason.
Stop. You’re being silly. Caine would never … There will be a rational explanation.
Hearing the rumbling murmurs of a male voice down the corridor, I walked quietly along it, trying to calm my trembling. As I neared a door I recognized the baritones as Caine’s. But I didn’t recognize the female voice.
“After all these years that’s really quite disappointing,” she said as I approached.
I stopped in the doorway and peered through the narrow opening into what looked like a cozy sitting room.
All the air seemed to go out of my lungs.
Caine was standing by the window and an attractive woman was pressed against him. He held her by her upper arms as she stroked his chest with her fingertips. “Regina,” he murmured.
Uncertainty froze me as I waited to see how this situation would unfold.
“You’re really saying no to me.” She pouted her surgically enhanced lips at him. My eyes narrowed on her unnaturally smooth face. This woman was much older than I’d first thought. Who the hell was she?
Get your hands off him!
I prepared to barge in.
Caine gently pressed her away, but his features were hard. For the first time I noticed how hostile he was. Extremely so. “I really am.”
She raised an eyebrow at him as she smoothed her hair back off her face. “You know that’s pretty risky.”
He scowled dangerously. “Don’t play games with me, Regina. I will ruin you.”
As if she suddenly realized who she was dealing with, Regina gave him a tight smile. “No need to get vicious, Caine.”
Watching the muscle flex in Caine’s jaw, I decided enough was enough. I didn’t know who this woman was or what was going on, but I wasn’t leaving them to this cozy little argument. I pushed the door open and they both looked around with sharp jerks of their heads.
Caine’s eyes narrowed on me.
Regina smiled smugly.
I met her smugness with a steely stare of my own. “If you’ll excuse us,” I said with all the imperiousness I could muster.
Taking the hint, she moved to pass me, her beautiful sapphire gown swishing around her legs as she did so. She flashed me a catty smile, one that was tight more out of physical limitations than from emotion.
The door closed behind her and I looked at Caine in question. “What was that all about?”
Instead of answering me he glowered in outrage. “Were you fucking spying on me?”
I flinched at the nastiness in his tone. “No, I was not. I had an altercation with my grandfather and I needed you. Phoebe told me you’d gone this way.”
I thought my explanation would cool his temper, but to my surprise his fury seemed only to be increasing. Far beyond what the situation warranted. I watched him pace the floor like a tormented bull, surprised that smoke wasn’t billowing out of his nostrils.
That uneasiness I’d been feeling transformed into dread, a heavy, sinking dread in the pit of my stomach. “Caine, what’s going on?” I said quietly. “Who was she?”
“It was nothing.” He stopped suddenly and I saw it happen. I saw him closing down, shutting me out. “Let’s go back to the party.”
“No.” I stumbled in front of the door, blocking the exit. “You’re going to tell me what’s going on here.”
“None of your business, Alexa.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m pretty sure you’d want to know if I was locked away in a room with some guy while he held me in his arms.”
His dark eyes flashed. “You’re misconstruing the situation, and I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with your unwarranted jealousy this evening.”
Outrage burned in my blood. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that. What the hell is wrong with you? You’ve been acting like a caustic bastard all night.”
“Caustic bastard.” He sneered. “Not very ladylike, Alexa.”
“Don’t.” I gritted my teeth. “Don’t act like this. Please.”
Something in my face made his soften infinitesimally. “Not here,” he finally said. “This isn’t the time or the place. Let’s just go back out there.”
“Later, then?”
“Lexie.” He moved toward me and wrapped a hand around my arm. Not sure what he was doing, I allowed him to gently tug me forward.
To my annoyance he released me only to walk out the door.
That horrible sense of foreboding was back.
CHAPTER 23
My fingernails bit into my palms as the driver pulled the car down my street.
“My apartment?” I whispered.
There was no reply from Caine.
I sucked in a huge breath, trying to ease the tightness compressing my chest.
After hours of strained conversation I should have been relieved by silenc
e. A person might believe that silence took less energy than forced communication, but the bristling tension radiating from Caine suggested he was exerting great control to remain reticent.
The dinner at the benefit had gone by in a blur of false niceties and banal discussions that went in one ear and out the other. Singers and dancers had entertained and yet I could barely remember the pretty turn of a ballerina’s pirouette. I’d ignored the concerned looks from Henry and Nadia while Caine had sat next to me only engaging in conversation with me when prodded. No one else seemed to notice his terseness, because he was universally known for it, but Henry was aware there was something wrong with his friend.
I was more than aware.
His attitude made me feel like my skin had caught on fire. It burned and itched as I tried to claw my way outside myself—outside this downward-spiraling evening into hell. Somehow I knew what was coming. My instincts were screaming at me to find some way to turn everything around. And then there was that little part of me that hoped my gut instinct was wrong.
Yet, as soon as Caine’s driver turned down onto my street instead of taking us to Caine’s apartment, that hope slipped out of my hands.
“Caine?” I looked at him as the car drew to a stop, wondering why that person with the coldly blank mien had come back after all these weeks. I didn’t like him. I much preferred the man who’d broken through his icy facade.
Where was he?
And why after that strange interaction with that Regina woman had he disappeared?
“I’ll walk you up,” Caine said in a monotone.
The driver opened my door and I got out, murmuring my thanks. I waited, shivering in the cool air of the early morning. Instead of coming to a stop beside me, Caine marched right by me and took the stoop two stairs at a time.
Now trembling more than shivering, I moved as quickly as I could in my heels and dress, and fought the quickly rising wave of nausea inside me.
“Keys?” He held out a hand to me.
I gazed up at him.
Still blank. Still ice.