Page 14 of There All Along


  Loyal hardened his heart as he pulled a pin and tossed a grenade into the gaping hole the windshield used to occupy.

  They turned and went to one knee as the explosion sounded behind them and heat crawled over his back.

  He turned again, standing, giving Trinity cover as she and Marcus headed to the next vehicle to finish everyone off.

  “No civilians,” Trinity said as she came back. “Everyone else neutralized.”

  But that was too good to be true as shots rained down from above.

  “Sniper.” They all headed for cover as the gunman on the transport aimed and gave them some time to get safe by shooting into the heavily forested ridge where the shots had come from.

  “On it,” Stace called out, shouldering his weapon and jogging into the treeline. Marcus followed, his rifle in his hands.

  There’d be no more random shooting into the ridge above. They couldn’t risk hitting their people. So for many breathless minutes they waited until the sound of a firefight drifted down.

  As they cruised back through the first ring of gates around Shelter City, Loyal realized it was going to be a longer day than he’d thought.

  “Head straight to defense HQ,” the guard told Loyal.

  The transport went in a different direction but now that they were in the city, they’d be fine. Loyal and his crew headed south, to the sprawling and heavily armed grounds of the defense headquarters.

  • • •

  The days slid into a week and then two. Life slipped back into routine. She normally had time with Constance, but her sister had frozen her out. An official blip came for Tobin, saying he’d been selected for the next training sequence and an official transport would collect him. It announced he’d qualified for a scholarship that would cover his room, board and tuition.

  It also announced that the next sequence had been delayed by at least two moons because of rising tensions on some parts of the Highway with the brigands. While she was thrilled for Tobin, Verity also knew it would delay the opportunity to see Loyal again. Which had only underlined her position and the need to make a move one way or another when he made his way back to Silver Cliffs once more.

  A positive was that despite the blip and his decision to go to Shelter City, Tobin had made peace with his parents and was back living at home instead of sleeping on a cot in her blip office.

  But that blip, while not shoving Tobin further from his parents, had been a huge issue between them and Verity.

  Despite the differences in their lifestyle and beliefs, Verity and her sister had always made an effort to be part of each other’s life. She had dinner with her family at least once a week, babysat the younger boys, took them on hikes and the like.

  But her sister’s husband seemed to feel Tobin’s wanting to go to academy was something Verity had done to them on purpose. A way to harm them and wrest their son from the house.

  She’d tried—once—to speak with him about it. He’d been hard faced and angry and had told her she was no longer welcome in his home and to leave his family alone.

  To have pushed Constance would have put her sister in a bad place. She didn’t want to make her sister’s family life harder, even if she was angry. The last thing she wanted was to prove them right and actually work to bring disharmony to their family.

  Still, Verity had expected her sister to at the very least try to speak with her about it, but Constance had patently avoided the mercantile and any contact and she felt that absence acutely.

  Loyal was gone and things were clearly heating up outside the walls. Instead of the more regular deliveries he’d said to expect, they gotten less official transport with mail and goods and more military patrols passed through.

  There wasn’t much else to do but work to keep saving credits and to give herself something to do so when she fell into her bed every night she was too exhausted to think about anything.

  It hadn’t been all bad. She’d hired on extra help at the mercantile. She couldn’t count on her sister anymore and Tobin would be leaving. She hoped to be as well, so it was a necessary thing.

  Ruth Hannigan was a little older than Verity was. Married, but no children. Her husband had a herd of sheep and often traded the wool. She loomed beautiful textiles and had helped out on occasion during busy times.

  Ruth took to full-time work easily. Learning quickly, working efficiently. They had the beginning of a good friendship already, but the concentrated time together deepened that. Giving Verity a place to go when she’d been rejected by Constance.

  Verity found herself at the Hannigan’s table several times a week. Sometimes for tea and a chat with Ruth, other times for meals. Jackson Haldeman was their neighbor and he also ended up at the table.

  He walked her home from time to time and she liked his company. But he wasn’t Loyal. Could she settle with him though? Could she let Jackson court her and be his wife if Loyal didn’t bring her an answer she could live with?

  Only, she realized, if she could truly make a commitment to him or it wouldn’t be fair. She didn’t like living half a life, she most surely couldn’t ask anyone else to do the same because she pined for a man she couldn’t have.

  It felt disloyal to even think on that. Disloyal to the man she was in love with. But as Ruth had pointed out reality was reality. She couldn’t not think about her future in Silver Cliffs if things didn’t work out either.

  But she kept a firm space between herself and Jackson. A friends only space. She didn’t want to lead him on or give him false hope. She wanted Loyal. Wanted a chance at a life with him.

  They talked about all manner of things, but any time he moved too close to that moat, the place only belonging to Loyal, she gently, but firmly, pushed him back.

  She stood on her porch with him after he’d walked her back. They’d had a rousing card game with Ruth and Garner and several other neighbors of different genders and ages.

  “Been a while since the lawman came around.”

  She arched a brow at him. “You’ve seen the blips too. You know they’re busy in the south with the brigands.”

  “What if he doesn’t come back, Verity? Have you given any thought to that?”

  She sighed as she moved to sit in one of the chairs. “He promised he’d be back. So he will.”

  “I know you’re in love with him. And I saw how he looked at you. So I believe he’ll be back if he can.”

  The last three words echoed in the near silent evening. The reality of what he did was something she lived with daily.

  “If things don’t work out with you and him, would you let me come around? Court you?”

  She sighed. “I don’t want to give you false hope. It’s not fair. I love Loyal. I want to be with him.”

  “I respect that. You’re a beautiful woman. Smart and independent. Man’d be lucky to have you at his side, is all I’m saying. I’d like it to be me if things don’t work out. I waited, you see. I saw what James did to you. How you suffered. But he never broke you. When he ended up dead and you were free I told myself you weren’t ready and I didn’t want to push. But then Loyal came around and turned your head at the same time. I waited too long.”

  “You’re a good man. Handsome. Charming. You’re not a brute. You have a job, a nice piece of land. There are plenty of feminine glances your way when you walk up and down the hill. There’s a woman for you here in Silver Cliffs.”

  He snorted. “Just so happens she’s in love with someone else.” His smile was rueful and tenderness flooded her at that admission.

  “She is. But that doesn’t mean she can’t recognize what a catch you are for the right woman. This one? I can only offer you friendship. I like having you in my life. But I can’t offer more than that.”

  He nodded. But she knew how he thought now. Had seen him play cards. Jackson Haldeman was a fan of the long game. He’d made a mi
stake in waiting, he thought—though he’d been right, she wouldn’t have been ready for the first year or two after James’ murder—but it wasn’t a mistake he’d make again if he got the chance.

  “I’ll say goodnight then. And we’re definitely friends, Verity. You’re too good at cards to let that go.” He winked, took a step back and faded into the dark.

  16

  Nearly a moon passed with no word from Loyal. Planting season had begun in earnest and everyone was busy in Silver Cliffs. They’d had some traders come through so her shelves were stocked, which was always nice.

  But that didn’t mean she wasn’t thinking about Loyal all the time. Wondering how he was. Hoping he and his crew were safe.

  Finally, two moons after she’d seen him last, a blip arrived saying an official transport would be arriving within the next moon to collect Tobin to take him to Shelter City to start the next training cycle.

  Smiling, she headed out into the store where he stood with Ruth, helping her restock.

  “Just got a blip.”

  He turned, expectant. Grinning, she handed the paper to him. He scanned it quickly and with a whoop he hugged her, dancing around the mercantile.

  “I take it we got good news?” Ruth laughed at Tobin’s antics.

  “I’m going to be heading to training soon.” He shook the paper. “Official notice.”

  Verity laughed. “It’s really happening.” And she’d be seeing Loyal at long last.

  “I need to tell my parents.” He sobered a little and her heart ached. She hoped they’d at least feign excitement for him.

  “Go on then.” She kissed his cheek before pushing him toward the door. “You can have the rest of the day off.”

  But of course Constance came barreling over shortly after Tobin had left to tell them.

  “I can’t believe you are still pushing this whole thing after all the trouble you’ve caused.”

  Verity looked up from where she’d been counting sacks of grain and then back to Ruth. “I need to step away for a little while. Can you finish this up, please?”

  Ruth’s gaze cut to Constance and then back to Verity. She nodded and then rolled her eyes. “Yes, of course.” Verity nearly laughed but got herself back under control before she faced her sister.

  “Let’s go upstairs.”

  She led the way, not looking back over her shoulder to see if Constance was following.

  “Now that we don’t have an audience would you care to tell me what this is all about?” Verity asked once Constance closed the door.

  “You know good and well what this is about. Tobin came running over with the blip about training. This is your doing.”

  “The last time you were here, I held back because I respected your fear for him. But this is my home and I’m done holding back for anyone. Just so you understand before we continue down this road.”

  “We just got him back home and now you’re filling his head with this again.”

  “Is that really what you think or are you letting your husband get you all whipped up over something you know Tobin is in charge of?” Anger roiled through her system.

  “You’re pushing him.”

  “I’m supporting him, not pushing him.” She threw her hands up. “Get over it, Constance. Or stop rushing over here to vomit your anxiety on me. You can’t have it both ways. If you freeze me out and stop inviting me to family events you can’t count on me to let you wring your hands in my parlor and take your abuse. Tobin is a man. He has an opportunity to go and do something he wants to do. You can support him or not, but you know as well as I do that he’s going and it has nothing to do with me.”

  “It surely does. He told us you’re helping him with an allowance.”

  “They’re my credits. Mine to spend or save as I see fit. He’ll need it.”

  “And what about you? He left. Without you. And you’re giving your credits to Tobin so what do you plan on doing?”

  Her sister’s words, poisonous and full of anger, hit at her like fists, tearing at the walls she’d tried to build around her heart.

  “Why are you here? You’ve already called me names and insulted me. What else is left but to underline it? This is beneath you. You’re in my home, you’re my sister . . . I’d never try to hurt you this way.” She heard the unshed tears in her voice and wished she hadn’t.

  Constance drew back as if she’d been slapped and then she fell into a chair with a sigh. “I apologize. This tension between us is silly and I’m being a harridan about it. I feel out of control. Scared out of my wits at the idea of losing Tobin. It’s been easy to pour all that into my upset over you. I’m afraid for you too. So afraid it’s made me angry. I’ve missed you. I mean that.”

  “You shut me out. Like I didn’t even exist. I’ve had all this stuff and I haven’t had you to talk to about it.”

  “Please, sit. I’m sorry.”

  Verity sat next to her sister and Constance took her hands, squeezing them. “I didn’t know how to deal with all my fear. And Emeril . . . he’s been so angry. I stayed away to placate him. But you’re my sister and I was wrong.”

  Tears shone in Constance’s eyes and Verity let it go a little bit.

  “Will you tell me? About the lawman. Distract me from the fact that my son will be going off to Shelter City to learn how to be one of them.”

  “He’ll be safe in Shelter City. Safer than he would be here. And they’ll teach him to be stronger. You need to keep hold of that when you’re scared.”

  “He’s my boy. I know he wants this. I know he’ll be good at it. But I’m so frightened for him.” Constance swallowed hard. “Enough of that for now. Tell me about Loyal. Please.”

  “I told him I wanted to come with him. On the road.”

  Constance gasped, her hand over her mouth. “You did not!”

  “I need to be free, Constance. I want to go with him. I can’t just wait around for him here. Content to only see him a few times each annum? No. I’d be half a person. I don’t want that.”

  “It’s so dangerous out there. How can you want that? For a man you barely know? Explain it to me so I can understand it.”

  “I don’t know if I can. You and I are different.” Verity shrugged, searching for the right words. “I can see how it might seem sudden, or that Loyal and I don’t know each other very well. But I can tell you that I was married to James for eight years and he didn’t know my favorite color much less my birthday. Loyal knows my hopes and dreams. He knows what I like, what my favorite flower is. He brings me books. I know him better than I’ve known anyone.”

  How could she explain something that felt so natural? So instinctive it went beyond words?

  “I want to be with him. I know others have their wives or husbands with them. Even when they’re not lawmen. I did research. It’s not dangerous every time. Not more dangerous than being here, only feeling alive when he comes around.”

  Constance ran a hand over her belly as she thought. “I can’t pretend to understand it. How you’d give up the safety of life behind these walls to ride up and down a Highway plagued with brigands.”

  “If it doesn’t work out my heart gets broken. But I can come back here. Or to another garrison. It’s not like my life is over. I’ll just start another chapter. But if I don’t at least try? Now while I can? I’ll wonder what if for the rest of my days. I love him. He loves me. It’s enough right now.”

  Constance took a deep breath and Verity knew her sister would never truly understand it. She loved her life in Silver Cliffs. Had never yearned to know things she wasn’t told. It didn’t make her bad or wrong, it just made them different. But the point would be how her sister reacted right then. Would she revert to anger and fear or would she accept that even if she didn’t understand, it was what Verity wanted?

  “I can’t say that this is a choice I’
d make. Or even one I like you making. I worry for you. I can’t help it. But I do want you to be happy and I’m sorry, again, that I haven’t been very nice about it. It is nice of him to help Tobin. At least he has that on his side.”

  “Tobin will be with other men and women his age. All wanting to make a difference. From all up and down the Highway. This will be good for him.” Pride filled her. She had a very good idea that Loyal was the kind of man that if he had your back others would respect you just for that if nothing else.

  “What if Tobin never comes back?”

  Verity shook her head. “He will. They get time off. They can choose to staff the garrisons instead of work the Highway too. When that blip came he rushed to you. To share it with you. He loves you so much. He won’t be living in your house anymore, but that would have happened anyway. But he’ll always be back.”

  Constance stayed at her table, sharing tea and some cookies. It was the nicest time she’d had with her sister in a very long while and it gave her hope.

  • • •

  I know better than to ask if we’re staying the night here.” Indigo spoke from where he checked under the hood of his vehicle.

  They should. The last nearly three moons he’d been up and down that damnable Highway. Fighting. He’d been shot. Twice. Marcus had taken an arrow to the meat of his thigh and though he’d spent some time in a med facility and the muscles had been repaired, he had a slight limp.

  They’d been ambushed. Been bloodied and battered. Had done their fair share of ambushing as well. And bit by bit had retaken the southern leg of the Land’s End Highway that had been fairly overrun with brigands who’d managed to take over two garrisons.

  Two garrisons where buildings had been destroyed. Where they’d liberated those who’d been tortured. Raped. Some of them anyway. Those who were left alive. The others? There’d been pits where the bodies had been thrown. The central government had to send in the health workers to stop an illness borne from eating human flesh.

  The brigands had shifted into something far worse than they’d been before. A new type of band had emerged and there appeared to be some sort of internal battle being waged between this new breed, the flesh eaters, and the brigands they’d dealt with before and were fearsome enough as it was.