He had no intention of arguing. He was probably more worried, although for entirely different reasons. They left work early, Dominic dropped Kate off at Melanie’s for her four p.m. appointment, then went home. He tried to work, but his mind was short circuiting and after reading the same page for the umpteenth time, he finally left his office and hoping to distract himself, went downstairs to work up a sweat in the gym. After a punishing routine that left him dripping wet and breathing hard, he was no better off in terms of tranquillity.
Because he knew what Katherine wanted.
And he didn’t want what she did.
Not now, maybe never.
He’d showered, dressed in a white T-shirt and khaki shorts, chug-a-luged two whiskies to relax and was pouring a third when Kate returned.
He heard the front door open and close and all his muscles tensed.
She walked into the living room a few moments later and her smile could have warmed the earth for a hundred years.
‘So how did it go?’ Dominic asked, as if he didn’t know from that dazzling smile.
Kate threw her arms open wide, swept him a dramatic bow, came upright again, jubilation gleaming in her eyes. ‘For your information, you’re looking at a woman who is completely, totally, awesomely healthy! I told Dr Nye that you get the credit because thanks to you I’m eating and sleeping well. She said to offer you her compliments. She’s really nice by the way. You’d like her. She surfs.’ Then Kate took a deep breath and tears suddenly welled in her eyes. ‘I was really worried, Dominic. I was afraid there was something wrong with me.’ She exhaled a shaky little sigh of relief. ‘But I’m fine. The doctor said it like a million times to reassure me.’
‘That’s good news, baby.’ He tried to smile and didn’t quite manage. ‘I’m glad you’re healthy.’
She looked at him, digested his tone, let out a small breath. ‘You don’t seem glad.’
He glanced away for a second, then lifted the glass in his hand to his mouth and drained the whisky.
‘Talk to me, Dominic.’ She gave herself points for keeping the quiver out of her voice.
He set down the glass. A second of silence passed. ‘I don’t know what to say – or what you want me to say.’
‘Be happy for us. How about that?’
‘Look, baby.’ He paused, searching for the right words, understanding no matter what he said he was going to piss off the woman he loved. ‘I know what you want and,’ he took a small breath, ‘I’m sorry as hell but I’m not sure I care to take the risk.’ The operating room was a blinding, never to be forgotten terror. ‘What happened in London is too … recent. You said you were worried – well, I still am. Let’s just wait a while. Not rush into things. Think this through.’
‘Our marriage isn’t just about what you want, Dominic.’ She stood a little straighter and gave him a stare that was half-way to open warfare. ‘It’s about what I want too, and I want a child.’
‘Even when you know it might—’
‘Even then,’ she said, simply, rather than repeat the doctor’s assurances.
‘You are fucking crazy.’
‘I never said I wasn’t.’ She took a breath, dialled it down and said with a soft little catch in her voice, ‘Please, Dominic, do this for me?’
‘Don’t say that.’ There was treachery in her quiet appeal, in the heartrending sincerity of her soft green gaze, in her sweet fuck-me body that he had to pretend he didn’t see or he’d buy into her bad idea.
‘I’m not going to stop saying it. I’m not going to stop wanting a baby. That’s never going to happen. And you promised I just had to let you know when I was ready.’ She smiled. ‘You promised, Dominic.’
That sweet glow in her eyes almost was his undoing. He wanted nothing more than to make her happy. But to do that she had to be alive. ‘I’ve reconsidered the risks,’ he said in half a lie; he’d never not considered them. ‘And I can’t lose you, Katherine. It’s as simple as that.’
‘You take risks every day in your business. And this isn’t even a risk anymore. Ask the doctor, she’ll tell you.’
‘She doesn’t know. She can’t know.’ He’d thoroughly researched the subject, read the medical papers, books, articles; there were huge unknowns with miscarriage. ‘And business risks are just about money. Do I give a shit if I win or lose on that? This isn’t the same. Not even remotely.’ He tamped down his rising temper, kept his voice flat. ‘This is your goddamn life, Katherine. I can’t play this game.’
‘It’s not a game for me.’ She caught her breath as if she was about to say something sharp, let out a small sigh instead. ‘I want a family, Dominic. Not in ten years or when you’re ready, but now. You heard Dr Fuller – I’m not the only woman who feels a kind of desperation after losing a child. Maybe it’s not fair to you, my insistence.’ Her voice suddenly wobbled. ‘But I want a baby.’
‘No.’ His nostrils flared. ‘It’s too dangerous.’
She said, low, silken, ‘I can change your mind.’
Just the sound of that soft challenge made his adrenaline spike. He sucked in his breath, looked for a way out. She was quietly intent, irresistible and he wasn’t made of stone. ‘How about a compromise?’ he said. ‘We’ll tap the brakes, slow down, just think about it for a while – run the odds.’ They were both numbers people; maybe he could convince her. ‘It’s a huge fucking gamble, baby, and you know it.’
‘You mean slow down until I stop asking. Compromise the way you want.’ She shook her head. ‘No, Dominic. No, no, no.’
The blunt certainty in her voice was like finding out someone had died. There was no going back. He stared up at the ceiling, thought of how Katherine made every day a winning-the-lottery day, how he’d only started living after he’d met her, how the word happiness actually meant something now. Then his gaze came down, didn’t go any lower than Kate’s face just to be safe, and half-weary, half-pissed, he said, ‘You start this—’
‘I know.’
‘You can’t change your—’
‘I know.’
‘I’m not sure you do.’ He’d been locked down so long, practically celibate for weeks, even he wasn’t sure he could stop once he started. He held her gaze, his voice taut and moody. ‘Last chance to back out.’
‘Save your breath, OK?’ she said, fast and snappish, a real edge to her voice now. ‘You’re not the only one with a fucking temper.’
‘Whoa, baby, pissing me off’s not a good idea.’
‘Fuck you, Dominic. I’m tired of begging. You’d think I was asking you to clear out your bank account. It’s my body, OK? Not yours!’
He went very still for a second, beat back his first ten rash impulses, examined her for another second, his jaw line taut, then gave a stiff nod. ‘Have it your way then.’ He jerked his phone from his shorts pocket, tapped in a name, waited, spoke immediately Roscoe picked up. ‘I’ll be out of the office for three weeks. Katherine too. I have to do something for her,’ he said, flatly. ‘No, it’s not a vacation. We have a project.’ Dominic pointed at Kate and mimed unbuttoning with his free hand.
She didn’t move.
He raised his brows, cupped his crotch.
She began unbuttoning her jacket.
‘Jesus, Roscoe, you’re not crying are you? No, I can’t, no – no to that too. I gotta go. I’ll stay in touch.’
Dropping his phone near his empty glass, Dominic silently watched Kate undress. She slid her navy linen jacket down her arms and let it slip from her fingers to the floor, kicked off her white sandals. He drew in a slow breath when she bent over to slide her white linen slacks and lace panties down her legs, the ripe fullness of her breasts eminently touchable.
Whether she heard his small inhalation or was engaged in changing his mind, when she came upright, she lazily raised her arms so the swell of her sumptuous breasts shifted upward, ran her fingers slowly through her coppery curls and rested her hands on her head, offering herself to him in all her flaunting glory. ‘Read
y to begin your project, Mr Knight.’
That was a gloating smile; there was no other word for it. ‘Very nice, baby. Definitely a fuck-me pose. But don’t start celebrating yet. You’re going to have to work for it. I don’t like to compromise, I like to win. It pisses me off to compromise – especially about this.’ He pointed at a spot directly in front of him. ‘Right here, baby.’ When she just stared at him, he said, mildly, ‘I thought you wanted something from me.’
‘I might.’ She dropped her arms, lightly brushed her mons, then slid a finger into her slick cleft. ‘You might want something from me too.’
‘Not as badly as you,’ he drawled. ‘We both know who can wait in this twosome. So if I were you, I’d get your ass over here.’
‘Jesus, Dominic, must you be rude?’
‘Look, you want something, I’m giving it to you.’ His voice was curt. ‘But I’m doing what you want under some real fucking duress and I’m not entirely sure I can control my anger. So watch your step, watch your mouth and do what you’re fucking told. Now get your wilful little pussy over here while I make one more call.’ Picking up his cell, he tapped a name. ‘Hey, Richie. Yeah, it’s been a while.’ Dominic smiled. ‘Yeah, yeah, you wish. Look, I’ll be down there later. Just wanted to make sure that … OK – it’s there … I thought so. Good. No, that’s all I need.’ Dropping the phone on the table, he glanced at Kate. ‘You have to move faster, baby. I’m in a real pissy mood.’ He unzipped his shorts. ‘Take him out. Then get on your knees.’
She glared at him. ‘I’m not doing that. I want you inside me. That’s the whole goddamn point of this.’
He softly sighed. ‘Baby, you really don’t get it, do you? It’s not about what you want. It’s about what I want, when and where I want it, how much I want it. And you’ll fucking obey or we end this little game of yours right now. I told you, you start this, you won’t be stopping it. Personally, I’m for stopping it. I don’t like the odds. And I’m sure as hell not happy about putting your goddamn life in jeopardy.’
‘So, as usual, it’s all about what you want,’ she snapped.
‘No, baby,’ Dominic said on a slow exhalation. ‘It never has been with you. I’ve turned my world upside down for you. I’m not knocking it, I’m not even complaining, I’m just – fuck … I don’t know, pissed about risking your life.’ He shrugged, shut his eyes briefly, and his voice dropped in volume. ‘What the hell – throw the dice. That’s what you want, right?’
He suddenly looked bleak and exhausted. ‘Oh God, Dominic, I’m so sorry,’ Kate murmured, closing the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his waist, and holding him tight. ‘I know how much you’ve done for me, how much you’ve changed your life for me.’ Her chin resting on the America’s Cup logo on his T-shirt, she looked up at him with liquid eyes. ‘I apologize for asking this of you.’
‘But,’ he said gruffly, his arms loose at his sides, not touching her, his jaw rigid.
‘But I want your baby, our baby,’ she said, so softly he almost didn’t hear.
But the fullness of her need was unmistakable. With a sigh, he folded her in his arms, then sighed again because he couldn’t say what he wanted to say – not without hurting her. ‘I still might be a prick about this before it’s over,’ he muttered, struggling with what he saw as dangerously tempting fate. ‘You’ve made me a better person, but not a saint, OK?’
‘I know how to talk back, Dominic.’ Her voice was stronger, her mouth lifted in a small smile.
‘Don’t ask me to be happy about this,’ he said, on a long tired breath. ‘I can’t.’
‘I’ll be happy for both of us. And I promise I won’t make waves, I’ll do everything you ask. I won’t argue or complain. And if this works out,’ she smiled shyly, ‘you know, eventually, I’ll be super careful about eating and sleeping. I’ll follow all your instructions. I won’t talk back even once. Really I won’t.’
He slid his hands gently up and down her spine, his expression resigned, his faint smile tender. ‘You sure I can’t talk you out of this?’
She shook her head. ‘I figure ask for what you want. Then go for it.’
‘Just so you know, you might not always get exactly what you want.’ He grinned just a little. ‘I can be moody.’
‘Fuck your moods.’
‘Then again,’ he said, soft as silk, ‘your nervy bitch persona’, he smiled a real smile, ‘always makes me want to get in the ring with you.’
Her green eyes shimmered with impudence. ‘I’ve noticed.
‘And we both know how that works out,’ he said very softly.
‘You.’ She tapped his chest. ‘And him.’ She rubbed her body against his impressive erection. ‘And me. Very soon I hope,’ she purred.
A lifted brow. ‘That depends.’
‘On?’ Her own lifted brow.
‘A couple of non-negotiable points,’ Dominic said, his voice suddenly purposeful, his expression instantly intractable CEO. ‘I’ll be hiring some live-in physicians – to stay next door, not here … so relax. But you will follow their directions explicitly and without complaint. You will not dispute your sleep or nutritional requirements with me.’ He held up his finger to curtail the comment she was about to make. ‘You know what non-negotiable means, right? Agree or I’m out. There’s no fucking compromise on this.’
‘Very well.’ The tiniest little sniff. ‘Whatever you want, I suppose.’
‘A little late for that,’ he said, drily. ‘But at least I’ve made it less of a crapshoot.’
‘So, then,’ she murmured, touched by Dominic’s willingness, no matter how reluctant, suddenly breathless with happiness. ‘Ready?’
He smiled faintly. ‘I have been for—’
‘Since you met me?’ she said with a grin.
‘Yeah, pretty much.’
But he didn’t lose it completely because he never really did. Not after a lifetime of disciplined restraint.
‘Get dressed,’ he said, zipping up his shorts. ‘We’re going downtown.’
‘What should I wear?’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ He gave her lush nudity a spare up-and-down glance. ‘You just can’t go like that. I’ll meet you in my office.’ He lifted his wrist enough to see his watch. ‘Five minutes, baby. The orders start now.’
She hesitated, intrinsically resistant to that tone of voice.
‘Your call.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘Four minutes, fifty seconds. Either you want it or you don’t.’ He turned and walked away.
Four minutes later she entered his office and his brows rose.
‘What?’ she said.
‘You’re going in that?’
‘You didn’t give me much time. I grabbed this stuff in a hurry. Hey – you’re not getting out of this deal.’ She gave him a hard look. ‘You said it didn’t matter what I wore.’
She looked like some beautiful waif, her curls unruly as usual, a pink flush to her cheeks, his plaid pyjama pants dragging on the floor, the tiny spangled jean jacket she liked barely covering her big tits.
‘The clothes you wore to your appointment were still on the floor in the living room where you dropped them,’ he pointed out.
‘Maybe you shouldn’t have said four minutes, fifty seconds and I might not have panicked. We can’t all be cold as nails every second.’ She stood up a little straighter, her lush boobs almost burst out of the jacket and Dominic decided being cold as nails wasn’t going to be particularly easy for him either. ‘For your information,’ she said, crisply, standing very straight, facing her adversary with eyes like green flame, ‘I want this baby, so do your fucking best. I’m not losing this round or any round.’
He smiled. ‘Never a dull moment, baby. I’ll give you that.’
‘As long as you give me your cum for the next three weeks, I’ll make sure it’s never dull.’ Her smile, like his, was barefaced cheek. ‘So where are we going?’
‘Sit down.’ He pointed at the table in the centre of the room. ‘I n
eed you to sign something first.’
Kate walked to the table, sat, and picked up the single sheet of paper covered in Dominic’s bold handwriting and read the contract defining her health regimen should she become pregnant. She looked up. ‘Sure there’s nothing else? Perhaps a twenty-four/seven monitor to watch me?’
‘I’ll be doing that.’
She met his cool blue gaze. ‘Then I need a piece of paper too.’
‘For?’
‘Your contract. If you want me to follow all these goddamn instructions, daily I might add, for nine months, I have one requirement too.’ She smiled at him. ‘Surely in the art of the deal, that makes you the winner.’
He carried over a sheet of paper, dropped it on the table, took the chair opposite her and watched her write swiftly.
She shoved the paper across the table. ‘I’ll sign yours when you sign mine.’
He read the single sentence in her small half-printed, half-written script. Under any other circumstances, he would have considered it a gift from the gods.
I, Dominic Knight, will deposit my semen in my wife’s vagina at least three times daily during the next three weeks.
He looked up, one brow raised. ‘Pretty specific.’
‘And yours wasn’t?’
A muscle flexed over his cheekbone, his gaze cooled.
‘You need a pen,’ she said into the taut silence. She was equally uninterested in compromise.
He took a small breath, leaned back in his chair and plucked two pens from the canister on his desk. Facing forward again, he looked at her, his expression grim. ‘Last time. I’m against this.’
‘Last time. You promised me. Sign.’
He tossed her a pen, followed by a swift scratching of pens on paper, a mute exchange of documents. Kate folded hers up and put it in her jacket pocket. Dominic took his to his desk and locked it in a drawer. Returning to the table, he held out his hand and said with cool sarcasm, ‘May the games begin …’
‘You’ll thank me someday.’ She smiled and took his hand.
‘Don’t count on it,’ he grumbled, pulling her to her feet and leading her to the door.