“Oh I freaking love them. I just don’t want you to break your ankle later.” I pause. “But don’t change. I like the dress. And the hair.” Hair up means I have better access to her neck, which I’m dying to kiss.
She laughs and shakes her head. “So I’ll see you later? Promise?”
“I promise.”
Anticipation: expectation or hope
July 17th, later that night
I’m nervous. Pacing around the clearing, waiting for Reverie to show up. I went straight home after talking to her, my head spinning over what happened the entire drive to my apartment complex. I took a shower, gathered up a couple of thick blankets and pillows, found an unopened bottle of wine in the cabinet that must’ve been Mom’s. I put it on ice in a small ice chest, threw in a couple of plastic glasses and stashed it all in the trunk of my car.
I shaved, wore my best jeans and a button up shirt. I tried to tame my hair but it was no use. Only a haircut would save that mess. So I combed it as best I could. I’m trying to look my best for her because she’s so damn pretty and I’m just…
Me.
It’s past ten and she’s not here but I’m not surprised. I figured she might be late. She’s trying to escape her birthday party. They’re all going to want to keep her there. Feed her cake. Give her presents. Hell¸ Glenn Williamson is probably trying to cop a feel at this very moment and that thought alone makes me want to sock him in the nose so hard I can feel the bones crunch beneath my knuckles and see the blood spurt from his nostrils.
I’m not a violent guy despite what I’ve been accused of. I got into a couple of fights at school when I was in junior high but they were minor. Nothing serious. I’m not one to get majorly pissed off, it’s just not part of my personality.
But I will defend what’s mine. And right now, I’m feeling so proprietary over Reverie Hale it’s almost scary.
Shoving my hands in the front pockets of my jeans, I stare up at the sky. Reverie definitely hadn’t lied about the full moon. It’s so bright outside I can see almost everything. It cooled down nicely too and there’s a breeze coming off the ocean, bringing with it the salty scent of the sea.
I’m anxious. I need to keep myself busy so I rearrange the pillows, straighten out the blankets and check the ice chest. I’m close to breaking out the bottle of wine and drinking it but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Will she even want to drink any? Am I being too presumptuous in bringing alcohol? I was just looking for a way to celebrate. I brought something else for her too. A little present for her birthday. It’s nothing major and the best I could come up with in such a short amount of time so I hope she likes it.
My phone beeps in my pocket and I pull it out to find a text from Krista. Fucking great.
I miss you.
Yeah. I don’t miss her at all. I don’t reply and turn off the volume, shoving the phone back into my pocket. Krista is the last person I want to think about right now. Tonight is all about Reverie. I still can’t believe we’re actually doing this. That I’m actually going to see her. Touch her. Spend time with her. Alone.
I hear her before I see her, walking along the trail, her feet snapping a branch much like I did the first time I found her here.
And then she appears, still wearing that gorgeous as hell dress, her hair still up and flat sandals on her feet, just like I requested. The moment she spots me a giant smile spreads across her face and she increases her pace, practically running toward me. I meet her halfway, grabbing hold of her so I can pull her into my arms.
“You came,” she breathes against my chest as she wraps her arms around me, her breath warm even through the fabric of my shirt.
“I said I would.” I press my lips against her forehead and close my eyes, savoring the feel of her. I touch her shoulder, drift my fingers across her skin and she shivers. “You got away okay? No one’s suspicious?”
“They think I have a headache. Chocolate does that to me sometimes.” She pulls away slightly to smile up at me.
“Chocolate?” I frown.
She laughs. “My cake was made out of all this rich, decadent chocolate. I couldn’t even finish my piece and it was tiny. I started complaining that my head hurt and my mom said I should go lie down. So I ran up to my room, changed my shoes and here I am.”
“I’m glad,” I murmur, staring deep into her eyes. My luck has changed for the better. I’m embracing this. Embracing what I share with Reverie. “You look so pretty tonight.”
“Thank you.” We study each other for a long, tension filled minute. I’m about to kiss her but then she steps out of my hold and turns away from me to look at the blankets I spread out. “You’ve been busy.”
“Yeah. I have.” I’m suddenly feeling self-conscious. I want to impress this girl. It matters to me, what she thinks. “You like it?”
“I love it.” She flashes a smile at me from over her shoulder. “Looks cozy.”
“Come on.” I take her hand and we sit on the layers of blankets, me closer to the ice chest. I pop open the lid and pull out the bottle of wine. “You want some?”
“Um, sure. Did you bring a corkscrew? Glasses? Or are we going to have to break the glass over a rock and sip out of the bottle?”
Shaking my head, I chuckle. “Don’t worry, I brought it all. I’m classier than you think.”
She laughs in return but says nothing. I wonder if she realizes how true my statement is. I don’t want to seem like some sort of dumbass loser in her eyes. I want to impress her. To be someone. Someone important.
I get to work on opening the bottle of wine, having a hell of a time with the corkscrew at first but I finally figure it out, yanking the cork out of the bottle with a loud pop. I grab one of the glasses and fill it, then hand it to Reverie before I fill one for myself. I watch as she takes a sip, grimaces a little then takes another one.
“You like it?” I ask.
“I’m not much of a drinker,” she admits as she takes another sip. “I had a glass of champagne at a wedding once.”
Ah jeez. I’m not a big drinker either but I’ve been doing it more lately with Michael. Not wine though. Mostly beer. “If you don’t want to drink it…” I start but she shakes her head, cutting me off.
“I do. I love that you brought this for me. Thank you.” She takes another swallow, a bigger one this time and I take a swig as well, hoping the alcohol will calm my nerves.
Ridiculous but I’m nervous around Reverie. I want this next hour, couple of hours, whatever, to be perfect. This might be my only chance with her so I’m going to make it as good as I can get.
“I have something else for you,” I tell her, watching her closely as she keeps drinking her wine. The surprise that flashes in her eyes makes me smile.
“You do? I thought you said you didn’t get me a present.”
“Well, I did.” Reaching into the ice chest, I pull out the wrapped package that I kept safe in a plastic shopping bag. I hand it to her, pleased at the eager way she plucks it from my fingers and holds it in front of her, smoothing her thumb over the already wrinkled wrapping paper.
“What is it?” she asks.
“Open it and find out.”
Slowly, she tears the paper away, revealing the dark pink decorative bottle that I found on Mom’s dresser. I think it held lotion in it at one point because when I unscrewed the top, I could still smell it. Faint and floral and reminding me so much of Mom, nostalgia hit me strong, right in my chest, directly at my heart.
The color of the bottle reminded me of Reverie. I stopped by the local Walmart and bought a jar of iridescent glitter. The girl at the checkout counter helped me create a label out of a plain white sticker she had and let me use her pink glitter pen. I’ve known her since we were in Kindergarten and she’s one of the few people from my past I’ve bumped into since I was released from jail who treated me like normal.
“Dreams,” Reverie says as she reads the label on the bottle. She lifts her head, her gaze meeting mine. “You mad
e this?”
I nod, suddenly embarrassed. It’s a cheesy gift, clearly made by someone who’s broke. “The bottle was my mom’s.”
“Oh.” She studies it again, smoothing her fingers over the bottle, the label. She’s cradling it like it’s the most precious thing she’s ever held when really it’s just an old empty bottle of cheap lotion now filled with messy glitter. “I…I love it.”
“Really? I just…” I let out a ragged breath, trying to find the right words. “I didn’t know what else to get you and I don’t have a lot of money but I wanted it to be something meaningful. I know it’s not much—”
“Stop.” She rests her fingers over my lips, silencing me. Since when did she get so close? And how does she smell even better than usual? I breathe in her scent, my head starting to spin and it’s not from the glass of wine I just sucked down. “I love it. You made this for me. I almost don’t feel right in taking it since it’s something that once belonged to your mom.”
“It’s not much,” I start but she presses her fingers firmly against my mouth, silencing me again.
“It’s everything,” she whispers. “You made it. For me. No one ever makes me anything. They buy me stuff. But that’s not the same. This is…this gift came from the heart.”
My damn heart starts to beat so hard I feel like it’s going to pound out of my chest. “The color of the bottle reminded me of you,” I admit. “And every time I hear the word dream, I think of you.”
“It’s beautiful.” Her hand drops from my mouth as she studies the bottle once again. “I’ll use it to capture all of my new dreams.”
“New dreams?”
She lifts her head, those luminous blue eyes meeting mine. A cool breeze washes over us, sending a stray strand of her hair across her face and I reach out, tuck it behind her ear. “I have new dreams,” she whispers. “They involve me and you.”
Ah hell. How do I respond to that? Don’t waste your time, we probably won’t last long anyway?
Yeah. That sucks. I can’t say that to her.
“And one of them is coming true tonight. Right now.” She leans in closer to me and rests her head on my shoulder. “This is the best birthday present I’ve ever received.”
I make a noise, dismissing her remark. “Give me a break.”
She lifts her head to glare at me. “I’m serious, Nicholas Fairfield. You created this romantic setting tonight just for me. No one’s ever done anything like this for me before. Ever.”
I dip my head and kiss her before I ruin the moment and say something stupid. Cupping her face, I run my thumb along the smooth curve of her cheek and drink from her lips, tasting the wine there, and the underlying sweetness that’s Reverie. She opens easily for me and I slide my tongue inside, circling it around hers. She scoots closer, her hand going to the back of my head, fingers plunging in my hair as she holds me to her and we kiss like that for long, tongue-filled minutes.
Until I finally break away from her first, pressing my forehead against hers. “Want more wine?” I ask, needing the break from her addicting lips.
She laughs, the soft huff of her breath brushing against my chin. “Okay.”
I reluctantly pull away from her and top off her glass, then fill mine. I sneak glances at her as she drinks, the way she’s curled up on the blanket, her legs tucked under her, her knees peeking out from beneath the hem of her skirt. Her bare shoulders gleam under the moonlight, making me want to lean in and kiss her there but I restrain myself.
For now.
“Look at the stars,” she says, her voice soft, her head tilted back.
I glance up at the sky. “All I can see is the moon.”
“And a few stars, right?” She leans into me again, rubbing her cheek against my shoulder. “Let’s lay down on the blanket and check them out.”
I grab the pillows and arrange them so we can get more comfortable. We stretch out next to each other and I grab her hand, intertwining our fingers. Her shoulder brushes against mine as we both lay there quietly, staring up at the sky. The moon is bright, casting its silvery glow over everything, including the pine trees that surround us. The night is so silent, I can almost hear the ocean in the far distance.
“This is the best night ever,” she says on a sigh, her fingers curling tight around mine.
“Come here,” I tell her, releasing my hold on her hand and lifting my arm. She scoots even closer to me, laying her head on my shoulder and using me as her pillow as I slip my arm around her shoulders. She feels good nestled up close and I stroke her shoulder and arm with my fingertips, making her shiver.
“Keep doing that,” she whispers, turning her face into the crook of my neck. Her lips move against my skin and I close my eyes, savoring the sensation. “You smell good. Fresh and clean.”
“Irish Spring working its magic,” I joke and she laughs, the sound and movement tickling, making me squirm.
She hums against my neck then kisses me there. One little peck after another, until I’m pulling her closer with a growl and slipping my fingers under her chin to lift her mouth to mine. She tilts her head back, her lips part for me and I dart my tongue out, teasing as I lick at her, then suck her lower lip between mine.
I could do this all night. Stare at her pretty face. Touch her. Hold her close. Kiss her until our lips are raw. I pull away from her a little bit so I can study her. The delicate arch of her brows. The kissable tip of her nose. Her swollen lips, her slightly pointed chin…
Slowly her eyes open to find me staring at her. Her brows wrinkle. “What?”
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper as I carefully roll her onto her back so I’m hovering above her. “I feel like it’s my birthday too and you’re my present.”
A smile spreads across her face and her eyes go soft and hazy. “Kiss me, Nicholas,” she murmurs.
So I do.
Dear Diary,
(July 18th, 1:12 a.m.) This was the best birthday of my life. I’m in love. Totally and completely in love with Nicholas Fairfield. I know it must be love because no one makes me feel like he does. He looks at me and my stomach flutters. He touches me and my skin burns. And when he kisses me…
I want to melt.
I think all the splashing around with Glenn in the pool earlier this afternoon upset Nick because I caught him staring at me and he looked so angry. But not at me. More like at Glenn. I know he hated how Glenn tossed me around, his hands all over me. Nick’s glare and hard jaw said it all.
And I liked it. I know it’s wrong of me to admit and I’ll probably need to say extra prayers asking for forgiveness before I fall asleep tonight but if it worked and got Nick’s attention, did I really do something wrong?
Probably. But I don’t regret it.
I lucked out and ran into Nick as I was going to the rose garden where Mama and Daddy were holding my birthday dinner. He looked at me, in my new dress with the makeup on and my hair up, like he wanted to eat me up, and that made me feel strong. I’d been so bold with him. I even kissed him and asked him to meet me in the woods. When he promised he would, I felt triumphant but also scared. What if he didn’t show? I would be devastated.
The entire dinner, all I could think about was him. I was so distracted, everyone noticed though no one really said anything to me but Daddy. I reassured him I was fine, just tired and I had a minor headache from the too-chocolatey birthday cake and he seemed to accept that answer.
The minute I could make my escape though, I did. Oh, and it was worth escaping for. It was worth the risk of getting caught too. When I showed up at the clearing, Nick was there, looking so unbelievably handsome he made my breath catch. He wore a blue and white plaid shirt and dark jeans, his usually out of control hair somewhat tamed. He was nervous, I could tell from the way he was pacing back and forth and I thought that was so cute.
He brought wine and set up a spot with blankets and pillows. He gave me a present, a pretty little bottle filled with glitter that he labeled dreams.
So incred
ibly sweet, I almost wanted to cry when he told me the bottle belonged to his mom.
We drank some wine and kissed. I felt very grown up, even though I didn’t like the wine very much. I had a whole cup though and I could feel the alcohol buzzing through my veins. That was kind of weird but it also felt good. The wine helped me relax.
Then we were lying on the blankets and staring at the stars for all of a minute before he started to kiss me. Well, maybe I was the one who kissed him first. His neck…he smelled so delicious and I couldn’t resist.
I think we kissed for at least an hour. Maybe more. I don’t know. I lost count of time. All I know is there is nowhere else I’d rather be than in his arms. He felt so good. So solid and warm. At one point I pushed him onto his back and spent about fifteen minutes just kissing his face. His eyebrows, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his amazingly perfect lips…
At the end of the night I asked him what this meant. What I meant to him. He cupped my face with his big hands and stared into my eyes. He said he wanted no one else. He just wanted to be with me. I thought my heart would soar right out of my chest, hearing him say that. I told him I felt the same way. It’s not like he officially declared, ‘You’re my girlfriend’ but what else could that mean?
We’re together, Nick and I. I know Mama and Daddy won’t approve so it’ll still have to be a secret. But I’m going to work up the nerve to tell them. I have to.
After all, I’m in love with him.
Confession: acknowledgement, admission
July 27th