“I have no idea why you thought you could hide Kendra’s pallor or the fact that she’s been bleeding from Renee. She doesn’t need our sense of smell for that. Or that you could sway her from getting an answer.” Jack plopped down at the table. “She all right?”
“Magick lesson.” He wasn’t going to go into detail with Murphy there. He trusted Jack like the family he was. But he didn’t know Gabe Murphy from Adam, and there was no way he’d take a chance and expose Kendra to any danger if he could help it.
“Magick makes her bleed?” Akio spoke then. Max liked the wolf who served as Jack’s right hand in Boston. He’d taken up a lot of the slack, doing much of the travel across the country as a representative of the National Pack since Jack had mated with Renee and wanted to stick close.
“No. She cut herself after the lesson. I field-dressed it. Tried to get her to go to the doctor but she refused. It’s a shallow cut.”
“You’re so gone for her I should laugh. But I remember the early days when I first brought Renee around and you were the first to stand behind us. I’ll tease you, but not enough to make you cry like a kitten.” Galen snickered.
“Shut the fuck up, pretty boy.” Max shook his head and tried not to laugh. “I am gone. Like beyond gone. She lets me be. It works out.”
Galen and Jack burst out laughing. “Those two may not have grown up together, but damn, they’re so much alike it’s not funny.”
“You wanna tell me why you’re so pale?” Renee demanded once they’d gone into the bedroom and closed the door.
“You know they all have super hearing, right?”
Renee waved a hand. “Yes, worse than a bunch of old ladies with the eavesdropping. But since Max obviously knows what’s up, you can tell me. Also, Galen has good manners most of the time. They’ll listen in, but feel bad about it.”
“I’m fine. I just had a particularly draining lesson. I cut myself.” She motioned to her arm. “Needed to ward Max’s car. He took care of it there, so stop glowering at me. I had to do it the strongest way I knew how. I’m worried for everyone.” And she was. It hit her as she’d walked out of Mary’s, hit her that while she and Renee had some means to ward off an attack, the others relied on tooth and claw, but the assholes out to steal magick didn’t care about that. They cared about power. Kendra didn’t want them to figure out how much energy shifters possessed.
She patted her sister’s arm. “Get your frowny face off. You’ll get forehead wrinkles. Anyway, the cheese and crackers really did help. Hey, and dinner is almost done so I’ll pig out and get to blame it all on magick depletion. Bonus. I’m going to bed early tonight and I promise to get lots of rest. To be totally honest with you, everything is... I don’t know, different. My ability to spool up energy is better, smoother. It feels different, but I can’t describe it just yet.”
“Interesting. What does Mary have to say? Did you talk to her about it? Or to Rosemary?”
“Mary said she felt something was different too. She’s going to look into it and talk to me after.”
“I don’t like that you’re doing all this alone.” Renee’s chin jutted out. “It’s not fair for you to take all this weight on for the rest of us. Look at you. You’re pale and bleeding!”
“I told you, I’m already feeling better. And eventually, you can handle more as you learn. I need to rest more, I know I do. I don’t have to be up early tomorrow and Max will make me breakfast in bed because I’m that lucky in life. Don’t worry. By the way, Mary wanted me to tell you how excited she was about you starting with her tomorrow.”
“Well for heaven’s sake, let’s get you some more food. Galen’s out there looking all delicious as he cooks enough for three dozen people, he’d look even hotter getting you a snack with some protein.” Her sister looked her over again, catching Kendra as she tried to keep her composure intact. “There’s more to this story than you’re telling me.” Renee crossed her arms over her chest and glared.
“Today has been...a lot. Just a lot and I’m asking you to back off enough for me to process it all. Please. I’ll talk to you more when I figure it out myself. I need the time to get it straight in my head.”
The anger was gone then, replaced by worry. Her sister simply enfolded her into a hug and the first sob broke. “Let it go. You’re here with me. Safe. Surrounded by people who love you.”
“I’m going to be swollen and red.” But the tears didn’t stop.
Renee sighed, hugging Kendra, smoothing a hand up and down her back. “How long has it been since you’ve allowed yourself to cry?”
“Long enough I remember how awful I feel while doing it, which is enough to keep me from letting myself cry usually.” She gulped in air, and something in her chest loosened as the tears fell.
Max simply waltzed in with a brisk knock. She smelled him, that rich, dark scent laced with sex, desire, strength and masculinity.
He stopped just an inch or two away from her, close enough that she felt his heat. He caressed her shoulder and spoke so very gently she was able to rein in the tears even as the tenderness in the way he treated her broke through her.
“Ah, carino, why don’t I take you home? We’ll get you tucked up in bed. I’ll feed you and you can go to sleep. Let me take care of you.”
“He totally does that all the time,” she mumbled into Renee’s sweater.
“He called you sweetheart to soften you up.” Kendra knew Renee smiled as she said it. “Galen and Jack do it too. The barging-in thing. Welcome to being in love with an alpha male, huh? They mean well. But sometimes you need to smack them in the nose to get them to back off.”
Kendra wanted to die from embarrassment. The place was full of people, most of them with super hearing so they knew she was crying.
“Can you please leave us alone for a few minutes?” she asked Renee, who simply kissed her forehead and left the room.
Max hugged her. “Baby, I hate to see you sad. Let me help you. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
“Unless I tell you to wait outside while I talk to my sister.”
He snorted a laugh. “Busted. I’d say I can’t help it, but I just don’t want to.” He swayed from side to side, holding her as she melted against him. The simple act of touch sent comfort and warmth through her system. “You hurt and my heart breaks. I want you to be happy all the time. I want you to smile and know you’re loved.”
Oh he undid her.
“I can’t leave. Renee invited me and I want to be here for her.”
“Let’s get you a cool cloth for your eyes then.” He led her into the adjoining bathroom and she sat on the side of the tub while he got her a washcloth.
“Thank you.” She took the cloth, pressing it to her eyes. He hadn’t tried to sway her to leave, instead he’d accepted that she wanted to stay for her sister. It wasn’t the big house and the luxury car, it was his heart that attracted everything inside her.
“I love you. I want to take care of you.”
He did. She knew that and despite the craziness of the situation, it was good.
* * *
After what had turned out to be an enjoyable dinner, Max took her back to his place with every intention of cosseting her and making her rest. Once he got her inside his house he breathed easier. Felt safer with her there at his side, in the space he knew without a doubt he could defend. His cat eased back a bit.
She even allowed him to carry her up to his bedroom, burrowing her face into his neck as he moved.
When he put her down on his bed, she fit, like she was meant to be there. And she was.
She yawned and allowed him to take her sweater and bra off. He quickly put one of his shirts on her because the sight of her skin drove him wild.
“What do you look like as a cat?” she asked, half-naked, her hair tousled, his shirt inching up her c
reamy pale thigh.
“You haven’t seen me that way?” It hadn’t occurred to him, but he supposed she hadn’t. She shook her head. “Do you want to?”
Her eyes lit and he felt it to his toes. “Now? Oh yes! I mean, if it’s not too tiring or what have you. I understand it takes a toll on the shifter when they change forms.”
“Lower-ranked shifters, yes. If I had to shift say ten or twelve times in a few hours, I’d be very tired and it would be difficult unless my father or another alpha forced the change. But like you with your magick, I don’t use it all the time. It’s fine.” And he wanted her to see his other self. His cat liked that very much.
She sat on his bed and he tucked the blankets he’d added for her—his body temperature ran very warm so he hadn’t much use for blankets until his little witch found her way into his bed—around her legs. “I’ll change and we’ll have hot tea when I change back. And then we talk.”
She frowned with a sigh, but nodded anyway.
After he’d stripped off and he’d preened for her, he crouched and let his cat come. Next time he opened his eyes, the world was different, sights and scents were a symphony. Hers brought a rumble of pleasure from his belly.
She watched him, a smile on her face. He moved, slowly, butting her hand with his head and purring when she stroked him.
She spoke and the cat realized hers were words of wonder and awe. She spoke of his beauty and strength as she touched his shoulders where his muscles bunched. Her hands on his fur, stroking over his body, pleased him.
She was small, soft and fragile. The cat wanted her safe and the man agreed. She smelled like his. He licked up her hand, over the delicate nip at her wrist, the magick she wore delighted him.
The beast, the cat knew from her touch, knew its heart’s mate and all was well.
When the man came forward again, he found himself in her arms.
“Well, hello.”
She kissed him. “Thank you for that. Your cat is amazing. Beautiful, strong, powerful. Also, wow, you’re like, huge.” After a snicker she composed herself again. “Well yes, that way, but you know what I mean.”
“Tell me. Tell me what broke from you today in sobs so sad they nearly shattered my heart to know they lived inside you.” He settled in bed beside her and she found his side again.
“I’d just had a day with a crap-ton of stuff going on. I realized a lot of stuff and it stirred up things I like to think I’ve dealt with. I don’t like not being in control of myself.”
He kissed the knuckles of the hand he held. “You can let yourself be flawed. Just for a few minutes. Tell me.”
She cleared her throat. “I know you think I was physically abused. What I was, was controlled and emotionally beaten down so that I ceased trusting myself, ceased understanding myself. So I drank. A lot. Enough to ignore the way my father-in-law would bump into me, or slam a door and sometimes I’d be near enough to get hit.
“I took it to my husband but he reassured me it wasn’t on purpose. That his parents were very religious and didn’t know how to handle my being a witch. So could I, you know, dial it down a little?”
He tried to maintain even breathing, even though rage began to build within.
“I don’t want to tell you all the gory details. It’s over now and I’m done with it, with who I was then. But...” She paused, licking her lips, her bottom lip trembled. “I didn’t know up from down at the end.”
“You don’t have to say any more. I don’t want to upset you any further.”
She shook her head. “He kept me locked up. He said it was to cleanse me. He joined with them and their crazy movement. You know them, the same people who want to be allowed to kill all shifters.”
He did know them. The angry humans who protested outside hospitals that treated shifters, outside churches where they worshipped or schools where they were educated. The same group of people who used to spend their weekends outside funerals of young men and women who’d died of HIV, holding up signs about how they were hated by their creator.
“At first I allowed it. It was easier to do than fight. And then I began to realize what a weak, unworthy person I was being by allowing it to happen. The last thing I wanted was for them to be right about me. So I began to plan to get free.”
Pride, the feeling was pride, and she couldn’t have known how much he felt for her at that moment. “And you did.”
“I hurt them. I hadn’t used my magick for some time and that day I used a lot. It was unwieldy, but still mine. I took it, I realize now, I took it from everything around me because my reserves had been so low. I was a mess. Angry. Afraid. I lashed out at my father-in-law, who blocked my path, and my husband, who stood on the lawn screaming that he’d kill me if I tried to leave. A neighbor saw it and called the cops. When I drove away with my aunt that day, I vowed I’d never, ever allow anyone to make me ashamed of my gifts or to take my humanity.”
He understood. He’d accepted before, knew she had buttons, but now he got hers on a totally different level. What’s more, he realized the way she allowed him to take over and protect had been an immense gift of her trust.
“You’re so beautiful, Kendra. Powerful. A witch, a woman who deserves nothing but love and kindness. I want to give that to you.”
She turned into his body, hugging him tight. “You do.”
He wanted to mark her. Wanted to sink his teeth into her skin the way Galen did with Renee. Wanted her to accept all of him, including the imprint.
“What is it?” she asked, her lips against his skin.
“You know me like no one else does. It should be scary. It’s not. I’m imprinted, you know that, right? Know what imprinting is to us?”
“Sort of. From what Renee has said about Galen, it’s the way the cat within the human identifies with another person as theirs. As their husband or wife. Like a mate I guess. You don’t do it like the wolves though, right?”
He kissed her, tasting the salt of her grief, the spice of her happiness, the musk of her desire. Every part of her excited the man and the cat.
“That’s the gist of it, yes. We don’t have that instant bond like the wolves do when they have unprotected sex. Ours is slower to build in many ways, though no less deep and certainly no less permanent. You’re not scared?” He wanted to laugh, he’d been so worried about it and she seemed to be taking it just fine.
She took his face between her hands. “You told me a few weeks ago that you were imprinting on me, it’s not like I didn’t know. As for fear? I’m scared all the time. But not of you. I worry I’ll fuck things up. I worry I’m not worthy of you. My God, Max, you’re going to run the jamboree, and I know enough of the politics there to understand my being human will be a detriment to you. I don’t want to make things harder for you.”
Without missing a beat, he slid her panties off and she laughed. The laughter faded as he rolled over, her thighs automatically opening to him, long, lithe legs wrapping around his body.
Satisfaction slammed into him. “Wet already.”
“Always. Any time I even think about you.”
When he began to inch his way into her pussy, her eyes darkened, lips parted, gaze only for him.
“You don’t get it, do you? I don’t care what Beth thinks, or Carlos or the other small group who have issues with humans. You’re mine. That’s what counts. My cat is set to run the jamboree and my cat wants you as much as the man does. If they can’t trust my judgment on something as important as my wife, I hardly think tossing you aside for a shifter would make a difference for the better. It would weaken me as a person and as a leader. I would die for any of my cats, but I won’t give up my heart. You’re my heart. And you’re eminently worthy of running the jamboree at my side.”
He didn’t miss the way her eyes glimmered with emotion and unspent tears. Her smil
e was for him alone. “I never imagined loving like this. It’s improbable. And ridiculous.” She laughed. “You know what I mean so get that look off your face. I mean I’ve known you for five months now, we’ve only been dating a very short while.”
He frowned, annoyed to be going over the same ground. “I know what I feel.” And right now, he had to fuck her or he’d lose his mind. He pulled out and pressed back in, loving the way her breath stuttered and she caught her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Oh, that’s very nice. One of your finest qualities.”
He laughed, gathering her wrists in his hand, stretching her arms above her head and holding her in place. Her back arched, thrusting her breasts up. But it was that delicious little gasp she gave him that made him weak-kneed.
“Mmm. Yes, that’s the way. I may just have to hold you like this for a few hours, torturing you with climax after climax until I’m sated of you.” Given how his every waking thought was of her, he wasn’t sure that was possible. Not that he’d turn down the chance to make her come for hours.
“You look far more handsome this way than frowning.” Her voice was breathless as a pretty flush built on her neck. Taunting him to sink his teeth into her flesh. “As far as you knowing how you feel, of course you do. I mean, look, you turn furry and run around in the wilderness. I can bend energy and use it in all sorts of ways. It’s not like I don’t already live an improbable and ridiculous life. Why not this too?”
“Why not indeed?” Joy filled him in a way he’d never experienced before at her acceptance of the situation. “On to fucking. Then we can talk more.”
“Bossy.”
“As Renee would say, duh.”
After a quick nip of that fleshy bottom lip of hers, he got back to work. Deep inside, her body was hot, wet, ready for him. He kissed and licked over her neck, across the blade of her collarbone, into the hollow of her throat. She writhed against him, pulling against his hold on her wrists, but only in a playful way. If she wanted to be free, she’d say so, he knew that much.
“More. God, please, deeper. I like it harder.”