Bestie
Jokers' Wrath MC
Bella Jewel
Published by Bella Jewel, 2016.
BESTIE
By Bella Jewel
Copyright 2016
~*BESTIE*~
All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any form without prior written permission of the publisher, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
BESTIE
Copyright © 2016 Bella Jewel
BESTIE is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
DEDICATION
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER 1
TWO WEEKS LATER
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
EPILOGUE
THE END
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, my heartfelt thanks to every single blogger, reader and author that has supported my journey. From reading my books, to sharing them, to raving about them, to being there for me. Thank you. My career would be nothing without any of you.
A huge thanks to Kylie from Give Me Books for organizing my reveals and blitzes. You do such an amazing job. No matter how many times I use you, I am always blown away by how efficient you are. Nothing is ever a drama. Thank you for giving me so much support.
A massive thanks to Ben Ellis from BE Designs for this gorgeous cover. Not only did you come in at the last minute, you did an absolutely incredible job. I honestly have no words to explain how grateful I am to you for all the help you put in. I’m forever in your debt.
A big, heartfelt thanks to Ready, Set, Edit for doing this book for me at the last moment. I really appreciate the time you took to help me out, and how patient you were when my kids weren’t well!! Thank you so much, lovely.
And of course, to my admin, MJ, for ALWAYS keeping my page running beautifully. I couldn’t do it without you, girly. I love your teasers and your passion; thank you for taking the time out of your life to help this poor girl keep everything running.
And, last but certainly not least, to my loyal readers. To each and every one of you that picks up my books and give me a chance. To the reviews you write, good or bad. To the time you take to make me a better person. You make this real for me; never stop giving such love and passion. You make our journey so amazing.
DEDICATION
To the universe.
Thanks for coming through for me.
To Matty.
Thanks for always making me laugh.
But mostly, to Bestie.
Thanks for saving me.
**A note to readers**
As some of you may know, Bestie has elements of a real story. I met my Bestie during a very difficult time in my life, and he saved me—cliché, I know, but it is the absolute truth. He taught me a lot about myself. He helped me be a better person. He held me up so many times when I thought I would fall. He showed me there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn’t have gotten through this year without him.
Bestie was, at times, a difficult book to write. It took me on highs and lows, it made me question myself, it made me wonder if I was doing the right thing. Sometimes, I hated it. Sometimes, I loved it. See, I’ve never written a book so close to my life and my heart. I’ve never written scenes that are so real I could see them playing out in my head as I worked. I’ve never given such a real part of myself to any book, or any piece of writing, in my entire career. Some of you will love it, some of you will hate it; that’s the beautiful part of being a reader.
But I want you to know, that to me, this book is the world, and I’m so glad you all get the opportunity to share this journey with me, and of course, Bestie.
Love and hugs always,
Bella xx
PROLOGUE
The universe works in mysterious ways.
We’re told this every time something bad happens. Like it’s supposed to make us feel better. Like it’s supposed to give us hope that things will be OK. Like it’s supposed to just fix everything.
I didn’t believe in that statement.
If that statement were true, we’d never hurt. People wouldn’t suffer. They wouldn’t hit rock bottom. They wouldn’t drown. But they do. They hurt and they bleed. They stagger through each breath, wondering how in the hell they’re going to make it through the next day.
That was me. Broken. Struggling to breathe. Putting one foot in front of the other, trying to get through each day, wondering if it was ever going to get better. Not believing in the damned universe or anything else.
Pain.
It’s so real.
So incredibly real.
You know what’s worse? Heartbreak.
The soul-crushing, stomach twisting agony that comes with having your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on.
I was heartbroken.
That’s when the statement finally came true and the universe stepped in. It stepped in, and it gave me him.
Out of the blue. Like it knew I was in my final moment. Like it knew I just couldn’t force myself to push through another day. Like it just knew it was finally time for me to learn how to breathe again.
I wasn’t alone.
He was broken too.
So incredibly broken.
It picked us and threw us together. It made our worlds collide. It blended us. It knew, even when we didn’t, that we would fix the broken pieces of each other. That we would stitch them back together, even if our hands were shaking, even if our bodies were tired, even if our hearts had given up.
It knew.
Even before we knew.
We needed each other.
CHAPTER 1
I blink.
Then blink again.
I stare down at the message on the phone, completely and utterly numb. There is no way, no way after everything we’ve been through together, that he actually just said those words to me. It can’t be right. He’s supposed to love me. He’s supposed to care. How can someone just turn their emotions off overnight? How can someone just stop loving you? Was I stupid? Was I that damned blind that I honestly didn’t see the writing on the wall?
My heart does an angry twist, and my stomach drops. Then there’s my skin: I hate the way it tingles as everything in my body seems to slowly but surely shut down. My vision blurs as I read the text message again and again. I’m sitting on the ground, knees to my chest, wondering what the hell is happening. I don’t understand. I just don’t.
M ??
? Just keep positive. It’ll get better. You’ll have good and bad days. Be strong.
Keep positive?
Be strong?
He broke my heart, but I thought there was hope. I thought he needed just a few days. Just a few damned days. I didn’t think he meant it. Until those days passed by and he still hadn’t contacted me. I made the fatal mistake of sending him a message. How could I be so stupid as to believe he just needed space? What he needed was to move on. What he needed was to be with anyone else but me.
Did I do something wrong?
It hurts.
It hurts so fucking bad.
A strangled sob is ripped from my throat, and I hug my knees together to my chest, unable to breathe through the grappling pain taking hold of my chest, of my entire body. How could he do this to me? Why was I not enough? I don’t realise I’m wailing until the angry, broken sound is all I can hear in the quiet space of my apartment.
How could he?
What is wrong with me?
My body trembles, and I hug my knees so tight my chest feels like it’s going to collapse in. I don’t know how people survive this. I don’t know how they get through. How does anyone push past this ... this ... agony? I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone the way I loved him. He was everything to me. I believed in what we had. I believed in him.
I hiccup and start crying harder. Tears roll down my cheeks and run down my arms, but I do nothing to stop them. The intense pain in my chest expands until it feels like I can’t breathe through it. Until it feels like I’d sooner pass out than make it to my next breath. I drop my head into my knees and make a loud, keening sound. Crying like this, it’s hideous, and it sounds terrible, but I can’t stop the pained cries from slipping past my lips.
“Molly?”
I flinch at the sound of my sister’s voice. I lift my head and through blurred tears see her standing at the door, a brown paper bag in her hands. She drops the bag the second she sees me and comes running, dropping to her knees in front of me. She wraps her arms around me, and I can’t hold back. I cry with everything I am. I cry with everything that’s left. I cry with a broken, empty heart.
“It’s going to be okay,” Matilda soothes. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get through.”
It won’t be okay.
She doesn’t understand.
I loved him.
“H-h-h-h-he ...”
“I know,” she soothes. “Shhh. It’s going to be okay.”
“I-I-I loved him.”
“Oh, honey.”
She holds me there, on the floor, until I stop crying.
Then she keeps holding me until my eyes stop burning.
She holds me until my heart goes numb.
I don’t think I’ll ever get past this.
~*~*~*~
TWO WEEKS LATER
I push myself to move down the sidewalk, my legs numb and heavy. I feel like a zombie, walking around aimlessly. I’m lost. I’m heartbroken. Michael broke my soul into a thousand pieces, and then just disappeared. Who does that? Who hurts someone so immensely and then just walks away as if they’ve done nothing wrong? As if they haven’t just taken someone’s heart in their hands and jerked it out of their chest? Like they haven’t taken someone’s very reason to breathe and just crushed it?
“Molly?”
I stop mid-stride and turn to see a man walking towards me. I know him, not well, but I’ve met him before through a mutual friend a couple of times. Roman. That’s his name, if I recall correctly. We’ve only ever had brief conversations, but he always seemed like a really nice guy. I’ve seen him a few times around town, and he always waves. As he nears, I study him and try to force a smile onto my face. It’s hard, because I could swear my knees are shaking from my internal struggle.
He stops in front of me, and I tip my head back and look up. Was he this tall before? I don’t remember? He’s got to be six feet, possibly taller.
“Hey,” I say softly, taking him in. “Long time no see.”
He’s a good looking man, there’s absolutely no doubt about it. He has a tall, dark, and handsome thing going on. The complete opposite of Michael. Roman’s hair is thick, dark, and cropped fairly short on his head, but still long enough that you could grab hold of it. He has these incredible eyes—I noticed them when I first met him. They stood out. They’re beautiful. Brown and framed with thick lashes. He looks like he has Italian in him, maybe Maltese. Whatever it is shines through strong. He’s a looker.
He also smells amazing.
I don’t know why I notice that, but he does. Some men have unique smells, he’s one of them. It’s hard to stand next to him and not notice how he smells.
“I thought it was you,” he says. His voice is sexy, not too deep, but smooth and masculine. “How are you?”
I blink, and then smile. “I’m okay. How are you?”
His eyes to flash with a familiar kind of pain. It seems familiar because I’ve seen the same pain flash in my eyes when I look into the mirror. “I’m okay,” he says, shifting slightly. “How’s everything been going? Are you still working down at the local restaurant?”
I nod. “Yeah, still working there while I study. How about you?”
“Yeah, still working away.”
His brown eyes scan over my face and something passes over me. Comfort, maybe. I’m not sure. There’s something about him. Something warm. Something good. It radiates off of him. Sometimes you meet people like that, people that make you feel instantly good and you can’t figure out why. He’s one of those people.
“That sucks,” I say. “You should come past the restaurant sometime. We’ll catch up.”
He smiles. Dimples. Hot.
“Yeah, sounds good. Here’s my number, just give me a text. It was good to see you, Molly. It’ll be good to catch up.”
I programme his number into my phone and I give him mine. Then I give him the best smile I can muster up. “You, too. Talk soon?”
He nods, studies me once more, and then disappears down the sidewalk. I watch him go and then stare down at my phone where his number is displayed on my screen. So very random. I shrug and tuck my phone away then continue my quest to the store. Eating my feelings away is probably not the wisest idea, but it’s the only one I have right now.
I duck in and get what I need, then I carry it quickly back to my car and slide in the passenger seat. I glance at my phone again. Nothing from Michael. Not a call. Not a text. Nothing. It’s as if he just forgot about me. It’s as if he just decided he was done and that’s that. He can’t even call. Not even just to ask if I’m okay. Is it really that hard to check on someone? Is he really that terrible?
Anger bubbles in my chest, and I start the drive back to my apartment. It’s on the outskirts of town. My dad got it for me when I wanted to move out. He made sure it was near him so he could keep an eye on me. There are only a handful of houses out there, maybe ten or so, and they’re all spread out. It’s a really nice area, quiet and comfortable.
As I’m nearing my place, I see Roman getting out of his car and walking towards the front door of a house just up the road from mine. I smile and shake my head. I can’t believe he lives that close and I never saw him before. Was I that distracted? When I pull into my driveway, I pull out my phone and hesitate. Should I send him a message? Yeah. I totally should. I’m sure he’ll find the funny side.
M – I didn’t know you lived on Bates road! I live on Sheridan road, just around the corner. We’re practically neighbours.
M – P.S I just saw you, I’m totally not stalking you!
My stomach does a little twist. What if he thinks I’m a total weirdo for sending a random message like that? My phone chirps in my hand before I get the chance to think too much about it. I glance down and read the message from Roman.
R – Yeah. I’ve seen you drive past a few times, when I’m mowing my lawn. I wave but you don’t see me!
Oh, my god.
I laugh softly and resp
ond.
M – Oh! I didn’t see you! Haha.
R – Lol. Yeah. I’ve seen you a few times now.
I shake my head with a smile and climb out of the car, taking my groceries and moving into my apartment. My phone beeps just as I place them on the counter and I glance down at the screen again. There is a picture of a hand holding a beer. I laugh and reply.
M – Hard afternoon?
R – Someone has to do it. Been working all week, I’ve been wanting to get home just for this!
M – I suppose it’s good it’s you then. I wish I could have a beer.
R – Why don’t you?
I put my groceries away and frown. Probably because my entire family exists of rowdy bikers, considering my father is the President of the Jokers Wrath Motorcycle Club. I spend most of my time with my sister and all my other friends from the club, but outside of it, I don’t really have any friends. Michael was my only friend, and then I made the mistake of falling in love with him.
M – I don’t really have any friends that will drink with me I think I need a new friend!
R – You looking for a Bestie? So you can have someone to drink with?
I giggle, and a happy feeling washes over my chest. A feeling I haven’t had in the last few weeks. A feeling I honestly thought I’d never feel again. It’s a lightness. An easing of the heavy ache in my chest. I don’t really know this man, but he’s making me smile, and right now, I’ll take anything that makes me feel better.
M – Why are you offering?
R – Yep. Lol.
I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. A stranger just offered to be my new best friend. It’s so completely irrational that it almost seems normal. I type out a response with a massive smile on my face.
M – There are some things you need to know about me, if you’re going to be my new Bestie. I’m quarter crazy, quarter deviot, quarter alcoholic and quarter feral.
My grin gets bigger when he responds.
R – I can handle that. But you should know, I’m 100% cunt, if you’re okay with that, then I guess we just became best friends.