He looks helplessly to me.
“Honestly, Jack, if she’s hard to get, I’d say it’s genuine and not a game. She’s probably concerned about a guy like you. We women can sense a player from a mile away. She’s likely scared you’ll use her, and if she’s classy, she won’t allow herself to be used.”
“So how do I go about this then?”
I glance at the girl, and her eyes are on Jack. There’s something in them, for sure. She’s curious about him. The second she sees me staring, she turns away. Yes, she might have self-worth and be guarded, but she is interested.
“Talk to her, keep trying, be yourself. I know that sounds cliché, Jack, but it’s true. Don’t chase her like you were, that can be off-putting, do pull back a little, I think that’ll work but don’t do it by trying to make her jealous or being a jerk. Be suave, cool, and gorgeous, just like you are, and let her come to you a little. Trust me, it’ll draw her in.”
“So, I don’t go over right now and say hello?”
“No,” I say. “You say hello, but you don’t stop. You stand, you hold those shoulders back, you put on your best grin, you saunter past her saying a husky hello, tell her she looks gorgeous, and keep moving. Do not, I repeat, do not look back.”
He looks to me.
“Dammit, this better work.”
I take his hand. “It’ll work, Jack. Trust me.”
He takes a breath, stands and starts walking. Jack is gorgeous. He knows it. Girls around him know it. He walks with suave, he holds himself with confidence. He walks towards the group of girls, stops when he reaches Baylee and puts on his most charming grin. Even I swoon. It’s hot. He says something to her that makes her cheeks go a little pink, and then, he turns and strides off.
And just like I thought, she watches him go, looking a little confused.
But mostly intrigued.
Score one: Jack.
~*~*~*~
R – Hey! Come over here before you head home, meet my friend.
I giggle as I stumble into the cab, trying to respond to Roman’s message. I’ve had a great night, dancing and laughing, and a few too many Cosmos. I give the cab driver Roman’s address and text him back.
M – On my way. Bit drunk, oops!
R – Haha, good stuff. See you soon!
I arrive at Roman’s place about ten minutes later, pay the cab driver, and climb out. I skip happily into his backyard where him and another man are sitting, drinking beers. I can tell right away they’re both well on their way to being as merry as me. I wave and chirp a loud, “Hey!” as I move towards them.
“Jesus.” Roman laughs, brown eyes studying me. “Had a good night?”
I laugh and flop down onto a chair. “What makes you think that?”
He grins at me and winks, then he pulls out his phone and holds it up, snapping a sneaky picture. “You wouldn’t send me one, now I have one. Hot, by the way.”
I flush and look to his friend. “Considering he’s so rude that he won’t introduce me, my name is Molly.”
His friend isn’t nearly as good looking as him, but he’s full of charm, it’s written all over his face. Sandy blond hair, slim in build, mischievous eyes. “Johnno.”
I giggle. “Johnno, original.”
He winks at me.
“Don’t take anything he says seriously.” Roman laughs. “He’s a slut and a womanizer. He’ll tell you anything to get into bed with you.”
I look to Johnno, and he winks.
“Well, I’ll keep that in mind, but you don’t scare me.”
“I should,” he grins.
I look back to Roman, and he’s studying me with that softness in his eyes again. I didn’t think I’d see that look from him again, and I wonder what it means. I shake myself instantly and push it away. I’m here to be his friend. To be fun and happy. To be exactly what he needs to get through. I’m not here to make things harder again.
“How was your night?” he asks, sliding me a beer.
I take it and have a sip, then I answer his question. “It was good. Helped Jack make his woman crazy for him. I’m pretty good, I must say.”
Roman snorts and I flip him the bird with a grin. “I am, thank you very much. That woman will be falling all over him.”
“We’ll see. You probably told him to go up and give her a good slap on the ass.”
I giggle. “I did not! I was very charming about it!”
“Sure.” He chuckles.
“I say a good slap on the ass would work,” Johnno says, laughing.
“It would work all right,” Roman grins. “In getting you a smack to the fuckin’ eye.”
I nod, laughing at Johnno when he wiggles his brows. “Maybe that’s what I want.”
“Told you,” Roman says, jabbing a thumb in Johnno’s direction. “Deviot.”
“We’ll get along just fine then,” I give Johnno a thumbs up.
“Yeah, we will. Roman has told me all about you.”
I gape and turn to Roman. “If you told him all our secret stories, I’ll punch you.”
Roman winks at me, giving me a lazy half grin. “Only half our secret stories.”
“He told me about your vibrating drawer.”
I gasp and reach over, slapping Roman who is already laughing. “You did not!”
“It’s fucking hilarious.” Roman chuckles. “Come on, Spoosie. It’s funny!”
“You’re such a knob! I can’t believe you told him that!”
“What I want to know,” Johnno adds, “is what kind of toys you have in there that vibrate that hard.”
I huff and flush.
“She’s got some fancy thing that works the clit only.”
Johnno’s brows go up, and I shoot Roman yet another look. He winks at me.
“I told her any good man can do that.”
Johnno nods and winks, too. “I could do that, darlin’.”
“My god, you two are animals. I need to use the bathroom!”
With a grin, I walk inside Roman’s house and use his bathroom. As I open the door and come out, I see Roman coming down the hall, half unzipped, no doubt about to do the same thing I did. I raise my brows as he continues to drop his pants. He’s drunk, I can tell by the lightness in his step and the easy way he smiles at me. He’s cheeky when he’s drunk. I like seeing that side of him come out.
“I shaved my balls today,” he says, wiggling his brows.
“How wonderful.” I giggle. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Want to touch them?”
“No, no I do not.”
He grins and nods. “Yes, yes you do.”
I slip past him, nudging him as I go. “You feel them for me, tell me how that works out,” I call as I disappear down the hall.
“Okay!” he calls.
I sit back down outside and my phone dings with a message. I look down and see a picture of Roman’s ... balls. I burst out laughing. That little devil.
M – Did you just send me a picture of your balls?
R – Yep.
M – Thanks! Really!
R – You’re welcome!
I snort and put the phone away, looking to Johnno.
“He just sent me a picture of his balls, from the bathroom.”
Johnno chuckles. “Yeah, good old boy. He’s got a deviot side tucked in there. Sounds like he met someone awesome when he met you.”
I smile, genuinely. “Aw, thanks.”
“He’s told me a lot about you. You’re important to him. I can see why. You’re a great chick.”
I hold Johnno’s eyes. “Thank you, that means a lot. He’s had a hard time lately, I’m glad I can make things easier for him.”
“Yeah,” Johnno agrees. “He has. That bitch he’s been hung up on has done him no good.”
“No, no she has not.”
“Hope she fucks off soon.”
I nod in agreeance and stand again. “I’m going to grab some water!”
“Cheater!” Johnno calls as I disap
pear into the kitchen laughing.
Roman steps in just as I reach for a glass. He steps forward, catches my wrist, and quite literally jerks me towards him. I stumble a little bit and then crash against him. He catches me, arms wrapping around me, and he just hangs onto me. I smile and wrap my arms around his waist, holding him back. It’s been a while since we’ve hugged.
“Glad you’re here,” he murmurs.
My heart softens.
In that moment, I know I’m doing the best thing in the world just being his friend right now.
“Me too, spunky.”
He lets me go and stares at the glass I was about to pick up.
“You were not just about to drink water.”
I grin.
He wraps a hand around the back of my head and pulls me closer, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll pretend I didn’t see it.”
With that, he disappears outside again.
And hope flutters its way back into my heart.
CHAPTER 23
I slap Roman’s hand away.
He slaps mine back.
“Stop it, Roman! This is my food, I will beat you.”
“You’re doing it wrong.”
“Do not make me come over there!”
He grins and slaps my hand again, knocking the spoon from it. It skitters across the countertop before launching onto the floor with a loud clang.
“That’s. It.”
I spin around and lunge at him, swiping the cake mixture that’s on now on my hand over his face. Roaring with laughter, he lunges backwards and hits the counter. There’s nowhere else for him to go. I swipe my hand across his face and he groans, slapping it away while trying to catch me around the waist and push me back. I slam into his chest and laugh even harder.
“You’re such a fucking animal!”
I giggle and swipe my hand across his face again. He catches it and jerks back. Then ... the laughter stops. Our eyes meet. And it’s there. What it is, I do not know. I know he’s still hurting, I know he’s not ready, I know I’m not ready, but there is something. I swallow, and I want to make my eyes go anywhere else, but they just hold his. He reaches down, cupping my chin in his hand, and dammit, I should stop it.
But I can’t.
He tilts my head back and brings his lips down over mine.
The kiss isn’t long, but it isn’t short. It’s incredible.
Our lips glide over one another’s for a few minutes, and then I take a shaky step back. I’m not sure what the hell that was, but I’m fairly certain it shouldn’t have happened. Our eyes hold, and then I turn, walking back to the cake. For a few minutes, neither of us says anything. After a bit, I figure the best thing to do is to just keep going, and not make a big deal of it.
So, that’s what I do.
“This cake is going to be amazing!”
Roman walks up beside me and shoves his finger in the mix and puts it into his mouth. “I dunno,” he murmurs. “I think it’s pretty average.”
I shove him.
He shoves me back.
“So, heard anymore from dickface in the last few weeks?” he asks me.
I shake my head. “Nah, not at all. I think he finally got the point.”
“You hurt about that?”
I think about it. Honestly, I don’t think my feelings for Michael were ever what they were supposed to be, but I only see that now. Sometimes I still think about it, and it hurts, but I realise it was the best thing that could have ever happened, me moving on from him.
“Sometimes I think I still have lingering feelings for him, but then I think about how he behaved and I honestly think I’m over it. It still hurts sometimes, the way he treated me, but I’m better for it now.”
“Yeah, I feel ya.”
I turn to him. “What about you? How are you coping?”
He shrugs. “I’m getting there. Some days I’m a bit down, but mostly I’m angry now. Angry that she just didn’t give a crap. I expected it, obviously, but it still hurts to think about.”
“Have you spoken to her?”
My heart pounds as I wait for his answer. “Nah. I haven’t.”
That must be hard, but I don’t say anything more about it. He doesn’t need to be reminded of it, I’m sure. He’s been through enough, he doesn’t need me constantly bringing it to his attention.
“We should do something before you go back to work?” I suggest.
“Yeah, for sure. What do you have in mind?”
“I don’t know. We should go and stay out at your property and do some more shooting.”
He nods, eyes lighting up. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll organise it for the weekend. We can camp the night!”
“Yeah, awesome.” I smile. “Sounds fun.”
He grins. “We’ll get heaps more watermelons this time, make it count.”
I laugh. “Sounds good!”
We continue baking, and when we’re done, curl up and watch re-runs of Seinfeld on television.
It feels good to have him back in my life.
But I just can’t fight the constant fear that she will jump back and take that from me again.
And I don’t think I could handle that.
I don’t think I can nearly lose him twice.
~*~*~*~
M – Are you ok?
I glance down at my phone. I haven’t heard from Roman for a whole day. That’s unusual. He never not answers me. Never. My stomach twists and that panicked feeling washes over my body. Is he talking to her? Did she ring him up? Oh, God, is he going to take her back and leave me, and he’s just too afraid to tell me that? My mind goes crazy, and the longer he doesn’t reply, the worse it gets.
God damn.
Stop being stupid, Molly.
He’s probably just busy.
But something in my gut says something isn’t right. Something just tells me it’s not okay. I text him again.
M – I’m worried. Are you ok? Please tell me you’re okay?
Another hour passes and night falls, but nothing comes through. Finally, around eight PM, I get a message.
R – I’m ok.
No.
No, he’s not.
Every bad thought I’ve had flashes through my mind, and I start conjuring up every terrible scenario in my head. One thing I know for sure, is that he’s spoken to her. The shift in his mood, the way he’s acting, it’s unlike him. And because of that, I know it has to do with her. Tears fill my eyes, and my heart aches in a way I haven’t experienced before. Was I stupid thinking that he really was trying to move on?
Have I done it again?
Have I fooled myself once again?
I grab my car keys and decide to go over there and see if he’s okay.
The drive seems like it takes forever, and when I arrive he’s sitting out the front with a beer. I climb out of the car and walk up to him, smiling even though the panic and fear inside me feels like it’s consuming me.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey. I just wanted to see if you’re okay. I was worried about you.”
“I’m all good.”
He’s not.
I can see it in his eyes. The pain.
Dammit.
God. Dammit.
One step forward, two steps backwards.
“You’re not,” I say, sitting down on the free chair beside him.
“Have a beer with me.”
He slides me a beer and I take it. His phone makes a beeping sound, and he glances down at it, responds, and then looks back to me. Is that her texting him? Oh, God. An unfamiliar panic rises in my chest, and because of it, I make the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I push him. I think about my own feelings. I let my insecurities rise to the surface and eat me alive. And I do something I can’t take back.
“You’re talking to her again, aren’t you?” I snap, hating the way my voice sounds.
His eyes flash to me. “I don’t want your judgement, Molly.”
Pain explodes in my che
st. Dammit. He’s talking to her. We’re going to go back to square one. We’re going to push him through this yet again.
“You said you weren’t going to talk with her.”
Who is this girl speaking?
He narrows his eyes. “It was fucking once, and it was an amicable conversation.”
“You ignored me all afternoon.”
His jaw tics and his eyes flash with anger. “Yeah because it might have been a friendly, simple conversation but it still takes some time to recover from. I don’t need you judging me right now. I just need you to let me be.”
“How did it feel?” I snap. “Honestly? How did talking to her make you feel? Did it make you feel good? You’re never going to move on if you don’t stop.”
He looks hurt.
Why are these words coming out of my mouth?
Who the hell am I right now?
“Stop,” he warns. “I’m doing the best I can to get by. I’m trying. I just need you to have a beer with me and not judge me.”
“I just ... I just hate it! Everything is going good and then she pops back up and we’re right back to square one. She doesn’t care about you, but you keep letting her affect you. I’m trying so hard here.”
“Stop, please.”
“I check on you, give you nice things, hang out with you, do everything just to see you smile and what does she do for you? What does she do? But she comes back in and we’re right back here again. You were my friend, then you told me you had feelings for me, then you gave me the flick, then the other night ... What the hell!”
He looks like I’ve slapped him. “You knew I was still in love with her when we were sleeping together. I told you that when we first met.”
“You told me you were over it!” I scream.
“I was fucking over it!” he roars back.
“No, you weren’t. You weren’t.”
“This is why I didn’t want anything more with you, Molly,” he barks. “I told you I wasn’t ready for anything serious, you agreed too. You knew it was just sex.”
His words hit me like a slap to the face.
Just. Sex.
“Thanks so much for making me feel like fucking nothing,” I whisper. “Just sex. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“That’s what it was,” he growls, frustrated. “You know it was. Back then, right at the start, that’s what it was.”