CHAPTER XXX
THE FIERY FURNACE
A few days after the return of Larry and Ruth to the Hill Doctor Holidayfound among his mail an official looking document bearing the seal of thecollege which Ted attended and which was also his own and Larry's almamater. He opened it carelessly supposing it to be an alumni appeal ofsome sort but as his-eyes ran down the typed sheet his face grew graveand his lips set in a tight line. The communication was from thepresident and informed its recipient that his nephew Edward Holiday wasexpelled from the college on the confessed charge of gambling.
"We are particularly sorry to be obliged to take this action," wrote thepresident, "inasmuch as Edward has shown recently a marked improvementboth in class-room work and general conduct which has gone far toeradicate the unfortunate impression made by the lawlessness of hisearlier career. But we cannot overlook so flagrant an offense and areregretfully forced to make an example of the offender. As you knowgambling is strictly against the rules of the institution and your nephewplayed deliberately for high stakes as he admits and made a considerablesum of money--three hundred dollars to be precise--which he disposed ofimmediately for what purpose he refuses to tell. Again regretting," etcetera, et cetera, the letter closed.
But there was also a hand written postscript and an enclosure.
The postscript ran as follows:
"As a personal friend and not as the president of the college I amsending on the enclosed which may or may not be of importance. A younggirl, Madeline Taylor by name, of Florence, Massachusetts, who has untilrecently been employed in Berry's flower shop, was found dead thismorning with the gas jet fully turned on, the inference being clearlysuicide. A short time ago a servant from the lodging house where thedead girl resided came to me with a letter addressed to your nephew. Itseems Miss Taylor had given the girl the letter to mail the previousevening and had indeed made a considerable point of its being mailed.Nevertheless the girl had forgotten to do so and the next day was toofrightened to do it fearing the thing might have some connection withthe suicide. She meant to give it to Ted in person but finding him outdecided at the last moment to deliver it to me instead. I am sending theletter to you, as I received it, unopened, and have not and shall notmention the incident to any one else. I should prefer and am sure thatyou will also wish that your nephew's name shall not be associated inany way with the dead girl's. Frankly I don't believe the thing containsany dynamite whatever but I would rather you handled the thing insteadof myself.
"Believe me, my dear Holiday, I am heartily sick, and sorry over thewhole matter of Ted's expulsion. If we had not had his own word for it Ishould not have believed him guilty. Even now I have a feeling that therewas more behind the thing than we got, something perhaps more to hiscredit than he was willing to tell."
Philip Holiday picked up the enclosed letter addressed to Ted and lookedat it as dubiously as if indeed it might have contained dynamite. Thescrawling handwriting was painfully familiar. And the mention ofFlorence as the dead girl's home was disagreeably corroborating evidence.What indeed was behind it all?
Steeling his will he tore open the sealed envelope. Save for a foldedslip of paper it was quite empty. The folded slip was a check for threehundred dollars made payable to Madeline Taylor and signed with TedHoliday's name.
Here was dynamite and to spare for Doctor Holiday. Beside the uneasyquestions this development conjured the catastrophe of the boy'sexpulsion took second place. And yet he forced himself not to judge untilhe had heard Ted's own story. What was love for if it could not findfaith in time of need?
He said nothing to any one, even his wife, of the president's letter andthat disconcerting check which evidently represented the results of theboy's law breaking. All day he looked for a letter from Ted himself andhoped against hope that he would appear in person. His anxiety grew as heheard nothing. What had become of the boy? Where had he betaken himselfwith his shame and trouble? How grave was his trouble? It was a bad dayfor Philip Holiday and a worse night.
But the morning brought a letter from his nephew, mailed ominously enoughfrom a railway post office in northern Vermont. The doctor tore it openwith hands that trembled a little. One thing at least he was certain of.However bad the story the lad had to tell it would be the truth. He couldcount on that.
"Dear Uncle Phil--" it ran. "By the time you get this I shall be over theborder and enlisted, I hope, with the Canadians. I am horribly sorry toknife you like this and go off without saying good-by and leaving such amess behind but truly it is the best thing I could do for the rest ofyou as well as myself.
"They will write you from college and tell you I am fired--for gambling.But they won't tell you the whole story because they don't know it. Icouldn't tell them. It concerned somebody else besides myself. But youhave a right to know everything and I am going to tell it to you andthere won't be anything shaved off or tacked on to save my face either.It will be straight stuff on my honor as a Holiday which means as much tome as it does to you and Larry whether you believe it or not."
Then followed a straightforward account of events from the firstill-judged pick-up on the train and the all but fatal joy ride to theequally ill-judged kisses in Cousin Emma's garden.
"I hate like the mischief to put such things down on paper," wrote theboy, "but I said I'd tell the whole thing and I will, even if it doescome out hard, so you will know it isn't any worse than it is. It is badenough I'll admit, I hadn't any business to make fool love to her when Ireally didn't care a picayune. And I hadn't any business to be there inHolyoke at all when you thought I was at Hal's. I did go to Hal's but Ionly stayed two days. The rest of the time I was with Madeline and knew Iwas going to be when I left the Hill. That part can't look any worse toyou than it does to me. It was a low-down trick to play on you when youhad been so white about the car and everything. But I did it and I can'tundo it. I can only say I am sorry. I did try afterward to make up alittle bit by keeping my word about the studying. Maybe you'll let thatcount a little on the other side of the ledger. Lord knows I needanything I can get there. It is little enough, more shame to me!"
Then followed the events of the immediately preceding months fromMadeline Taylor's arrival in the college town on to the stunningrevelation of old Doctor Hendricks' letter.
"You don't know how the thing made me feel. I couldn't help feeling moreor less responsible. For after all I did start the thing and thoughMadeline was always too good a sport to blame me I knew and I am sure sheknew that she wouldn't have taken up with Hubbard if I hadn't left her inthe lurch just when she had gotten to care a whole lot too much for me.Besides I couldn't help thinking what it would have been like if Tony hadbeen caught in a trap like that. It didn't seem to me I could stand offand let her go to smash alone though I could see Doc Hendricks had commonsense on his side when he ordered me to keep out of the whole business.
"I had all this on my mind when I came home that last time when Grannywas dying. I had it lodged in my head that it was up to me to straightenthings out by marrying Madeline myself though I hated the idea like deathand destruction and I knew it would about kill the rest of you. I wroteand asked her to marry me that night after Granny went. She wouldn't doit. It wasn't because she didn't love me either. I guess it was ratherbecause she did that she wouldn't. She wouldn't pull me down in the quicksands with her. Whatever you may think of what she was and did you willhave to admit that she was magnificent about this. She might have savedherself at my expense and she wouldn't. Remember that, Uncle Phil, anddon't judge her about the rest."
Doctor Holiday ceased reading a moment and gazed into the fire. By themeasure of his full realization of what such a marriage would have meantto his young nephew he paid homage to the girl in her fine courage inrefusing to take advantage of a chivalrous boy's impulsive generosityeven though it left her the terrible alternative which later she hadtaken. And he thought with a tender little smile that there was somethingalso rather magnificent about a lad who would offer himself thusvolunt
arily and knowingly a living sacrifice for "dear Honor's sake." Hewent back to the letter.
"But I still felt I had to do something to help though she wouldn'taccept the way I first offered. I knew she needed money badly as shewasn't able to work and I wanted to give her some of mine. I knew I hadplenty or would have next spring when I came of age. But I was sure youwouldn't let me have any of it now without knowing why and Larry wouldn'tlend me any either, sight unseen. I wouldn't have blamed either of youfor refusing. I haven't deserved to be taken on trust.
"The only other way I knew of to get money quick was to play for it. Ihave fool's luck always at cards. Last year I played a lot for money.Larry knew and rowed me like the devil for it last spring. No wonder. Heknew how Dad hated it. So did I. I'd heard him rave on the subject oftenenough. But I did it just the same as I did a good many other things I amnot very proud to remember now. But I haven't done it this year--at leastonly a few times. Once I played when I'd sent Madeline all the money Ihad for her traveling expenses and once or twice beside I did it on myown account because I was so darned sick of toeing a chalk mark I had togo on a tangent or bust. I am not excusing it. I am not excusinganything. I am just telling the truth.
"Anyhow the other night I played again in good earnest. There were quitea number of fellows in the game and we all got a bit excited and plungedmore than we meant to especially myself and Ned Delany who was out toget me if he could. He hates me like the seven year itch anyway because Icaught him cheating at cards once and said so right out in meeting. I hadabsolutely incredible luck. I guess the devil or the angels were on myside. I swept everything, made about three hundred dollars in all. Thefellows paid up and I banked the stuff and mailed Madeline a check forthe whole amount the first thing. I don't know what would have happenedif I had lost instead of winning. I didn't think about that. A truegambler never does I reckon.
"But I want to say right here and now, Uncle Phil, that I am through withthe business. The other night sickened me of gambling for good and all.Even Dad couldn't have hated it any more than I do this minute. It isrotten for a man, kills his nerves and his morals and his common sense.I'm done. I'll never make another penny that way as long as I live. ButI'm not sorry I did it this once no matter how hard I'm paying for it. IfI had it to do over again I'd do precisely the same thing. I wonder ifyou can understand that, Uncle Phil, or whether you'll think I'm justplain unregenerate.
"I thought then I was finished with the business but as a matter of factI was just starting on it. Somebody turned state's evidence. I imagine itwas Delany though I don't know. Anyhow somebody wrote the president ananonymous letter telling him there was a lot of gambling going on and Iwas one of the worst offenders, and thoughtfully suggested the old boyshould ask me how much I made the other night and what I did with it. Ofcourse that finished me off. I was called before the board and putthrough a holy inquisition. Gee! They piled up not only the gamblingbusiness but all the other things I'd done and left undone for two yearsand a half and dumped the whole avalanche on my head at once. Whew! Itwas fierce. I am not saying I didn't deserve it. I did, if not for thisparticular thing for a million other times when I've gone scot-free.
"They tried to squeeze out of me who the other men involved were but Iwouldn't tell. I could have had a neat little come back on Delany if Ihad chosen but I don't play the game that way and I reckon he knew it andbanked on my holding my tongue. I'd rather stand alone and take what wascoming to me and I got it too good and plenty. They tried to make me tellwhat I did with the money. That riled me. It was none of their businessand I told 'em so. Anyway I couldn't have told even if it would have doneme any good on Madeline's account. I wouldn't drag her into it.
"Finally they dismissed me and said they would let me know later whatthey would do about my case. But there wasn't any doubt in my mind whatthey were going to do nor in theirs either, I'll bet. I was damned. Theyhad to fire me--couldn't help it when I was caught with the goods undertheir very noses. I think a good many of them wished I hadn't beencaught, that they could have let me off some way, particularly Prof.Hathaway. He put out his hand and patted my shoulder when I went out andI knew he was mighty sorry. He has been awfully decent to me alwaysespecially since I have been playing round with his daughter Elsie thisfall and I guess it made him feel bad to have me turn out such a blacksheep. I wished I could tell him the whole story but I couldn't. I justhad to let him think it was as bad as it looked.
"I had hardly gotten back into the Frat house when I was called to thetelephone. It was Madeline. She thanked me for sending her the money butsaid she was sending the check back as she didn't need it, had found away out of her difficulties. She was going on a long, long journey infact, and wouldn't see me again. Said she wanted to say good-by and wishme all kinds of luck and thank me for what she was pleased to call mygoodness to her. And then she hung up before I could ask any questions orget it through my head what she meant by her long, long journey. My brainwasn't working very lively after what I'd been through over there at theboard meeting anyway and I was too wrapped up in my own troubles tobother much about hers at the moment, selfish brute that I am.
"But the next morning I understood all right. She had found her way outand no mistake, just turned on the gas and let herself go. She was deadwhen they found her. I don't blame her, Uncle Phil. It was too hard forher. She couldn't go through with it. Life had been too hard for her fromthe beginning. She never had half a chance. And in the end we killed herbetween us, her pious old psalm singing hypocrite of a grandfather, therotter who ruined her, and myself, the prince of fools.
"I went to see her with the old Doc. And, Uncle Phil, she was beautiful.Not even Granny looked more peaceful and happy than she did lying theredead with the little smile on her lips as if she were having a pleasantdream. But the scar was there on her forehead--the scar I put there. I'vegot a scar of my own too. It doesn't show on the surface but it is therefor all that and always will be. I shan't talk about it but I'll neverforget as long as I live that part of the debt she paid was mine. It is_mea culpa_ for me always so far as she is concerned.
"Her grandfather arrived while I was there. If ever there was a manbroken, mind and body and spirit he was. I couldn't help feeling sorryfor him. Of the two I would much rather have been Madeline lying theredead than that poor old chap living with her death on his conscience.
"Later I got my official notice from the board. I was fired. I wanted toget out of college. I'm out for better or worse. Uncle Phil, don't thinkI don't care. I know how terribly you are going to be hurt and that itwill be just about the finish of poor old Larry. I am not very proud ofit myself--being catapulted out in disgrace where the rest of you lefttrailing clouds of glory. It isn't only what I have done just now. It isall the things I have done and haven't done before that has smashed me inthe end--my fool attitude of have a good time and damn the expense. Ididn't pay at the time. I am paying now compound interest accumulated.Worst of it is the rest of you will have to pay with me. You told me oncewe couldn't live to ourselves alone. I didn't understand then. I do now.I am guilty but you have to suffer with me for my mistakes. It is thatthat hurts worst of all.
"You have been wonderful to me always, had oceans of patience when Idisappointed you and hurt you and worried you over and over again. Andnow here is this last, worst thing of all to forgive. Can you do it,Uncle Phil? Please try. And please don't worry about me, nor let theothers. I'll come through all right. And if I don't I am not afraid ofdeath. I have found out there are lots of worse things in the world. Ihaven't any pipe dreams about coming out a hero of any sort but I do meanto come out the kind of a man you won't be ashamed of and to try mydarnedest to live up a little bit to the Holiday specifications. Again,dear Uncle Phil, please forgive me if you can and write as soon as I cansend an address." Then a brief postscript. "The check Madeline sent backnever got to me. If it is forwarded to the Hill please send it or ratherits equivalent to the president. I wouldn't touch the money with a tenfoot pole. I neve
r wanted it for myself but only for Madeline and she isbeyond needing anything any of us can give her now."