And I would be lying if I didn’t admit that mine is breaking too.
In a few days time I will be going back to Edinburgh and starting a temporary job my brother had found as a farm hand, helping out one of his friends who’s just lost his right hand man. The money’s not great, but it’ll keep me from dipping into my savings that I have acquired ever since I started teaching. It’s a handsome sum, which I’m reluctant to delve into. It’s my set up money for when the time comes that I would eventually settle down—hopefully with the one I love. It still doesn’t stop the fact that if she asked me to stay I wouldn’t hesitate in saying yes—the savings be damned. I would move mountains if she asked. I just know she never would.
“Are you hungry?” I ask, as I place our bags down next to the expanse of the king size bed.
Sasha stands still for a moment, cocking her head to one side as she stares at me. She then moves so delicately like a swan towards my position, linking her arms through mine to hug me. All my breath escapes from her touch. I had never had such a strong reaction to a woman before, but with Sasha it feels like she’s the air that my lungs have been missing all this time. Like the universe kept her from me for all those years only delivering her to me like a great beam of light like it did that fateful day in the bar. I will never forget that night. I had been nervous as fuck about starting my new job and had decided to bury myself in a wee project that we used to do when I was studying to be a teacher. I immersed myself in a book, jotting down my thoughts on a laptop as I went. Just as I was reading, I felt this pull to look up and when I did, I swear I saw an angel before me. Long, luscious blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes meet my gaze as she holds two drinks in her hand. I’d thought I was hallucinating at first until she opened her mouth and spoke to me. From that moment on, I knew I needed to know more about this girl. I could see it in her—all the answers to all the questions I’ve always had. She is my answer to everything.
“Can we eat a bit later?” she asks, pulling away to unzip her jacket. I watch her as she drops it to the floor, hooded eyes staring down at my own. Desire sparks inside me, and instantly, my cock hardens for this bonny girl in front of me. I lick my lips, making her smile as she pulls the top up over her head and then quickly unfastens her jeans.
We have done this so many times. It’s almost like a game to see who will cave first—which is almost always me. This time, despite my urgency to go to her and claim her, however, I keep my distance and watch as she undresses until the last piece of clothing is thrown from her body.
There she stands. All bare and fucking glorious. I stare at her naked frame, making a sweep with my eyes from top to bottom. Once I reach her eyes, she cocks one eyebrow at me and is about to say something when I step forward, crashing my lips against hers. I walk forward, and she walks back until her body hits the wall behind her. She gasps and then moans, kissing me like this is the first time we have ever kissed. Every time, it feels the same, and every time, I am left just as breathless as the last.
On a deep moan, she jumps in my arms, throwing her legs around my waist. I press my groin into her heat and relish the sound she makes when I do. I don’t want to wait, and I sense that same feeling from her too.
“Easton, please,” she begs and this is all it takes from her.
With one hand free, I unbuckle my jeans and undo the zip, letting them fall to the floor. As soon as I feel them down, I push my boxers next until my cock springs free. As if searching for her it immediately lands at her soaking entrance. One slide is all it takes and I’m in reaching for the hilt. I close my eyes on a groan feeling her tightness surround me. All I feel is her heat. Her warm, wet heat surrounding me and it’s the best feeling in the world.
“Hold on tight, baby,” I whisper, pulling her up against the wall further, so I can start my movements. I thrust up once, then another, then another, and with each thrust her moans echo off the walls making my balls tighten. The pretty sounds she makes are like nothing I have ever heard in this whole world. It never ceases to amaze me how many times she has made me come just from hearing how good I make her feel when I’m inside her.
“Easton!” she cries, and I feel her body turning rigid with an impending orgasm. I’m not being gentle, but often the first times we’re together aren’t. We both know after this first encounter, we’ll be back in the bed and making love like this never happened.
With each thrust I nibble her neck, kissing her shoulder and biting into it every time I thrust to the hilt. Desire spikes through me with each movement, as her body begins to tremble around me. She’s moaning loudly, her body going rigid with each thrust. She’s close. Oh, so very close I can feel it.
“Easton, I’m going to come!” And with that, she screams out her orgasm, making mine follow soon after. Her pussy throbs against my shaft and with every single movement my balls tighten further until I too, climax hard inside her.
“Wow,” she says, breathing hard up against the wall.
“Always a wow with you,” I answer, laughing into the crook of her neck.
In one fell swoop, I pick her up from the wall making her squeal and move towards the bed. Once there, I pull the covers back and place her gently inside the bed. I climb in with her and she automatically climbs up onto my chest and snuggles in tight to me.
Best feeling in the world.
“I’m so glad the school let you stay,” I say, finally getting down to it.
I feel her sigh on me. “So am I.”
I close my eyes knowing what’s going to be said next. “My brother got me a job.”
She lifts her head to look at me. “Really? What are you going to do?”
“It’s just a temporary job helping out a friend who has lost his right hand man on his farm.”
She bites her lip, and I know it’s coming. “Back in Edinburgh?”
I nod my head. “Yes, back in Edinburgh.”
She pulls herself away from me completely and sighs. “I kind of knew this would happen anyway. I expected it. It’s a good thing. I need to finish my exams, Easton. That’s the one and only thing I need to put first right now.”
“I know,” I reply, stopping her before she feels the need to explain further. She doesn’t need to explain shit to me.
“I would never ever ask you to stop fulfilling your dreams. All I ask is that we meet once you’re done. I don’t know. Maybe you can go to university in Edinburgh or something.”
She starts laughing, threading her fingers through mine. “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. I think I’ve been concentrating so much on my GCSE’s, that A Levels, College, and even Uni is the furthest from my mind.”
Knowing she would get a kick out of this, I say, “how about we meet at a certain place and time two days after your last exam in June?”
Her eyes widen giving away her excitement. “You mean like Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr in An Affair to Remember?”
I nod. “Exactly. Just pick a date, time and a place and I will be there.”
“You’re such a romantic,” she swoons.
“I try my best.” I would do everything it took within my power to make this girl happy. After everything she’s been through she deserves it.
She cocks her head to the side thinking for a moment and then she gasps, a great big smile encasing those gorgeous lips that I could happily spend hours tasting. “I know just the place. I have never been, but apparently it’s supposed to be romantic there, and it has an Italian theme, which I love.”
“Okay, where is it?”
“That’s the beauty of it. We’d kind of have to meet halfway because it’s in Wales. A place called Portmeirion. We could meet on a bench in Central Piazza, at say two o’clock on the twenty-fifth of June?”
I start laughing. “You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you? It’s a date.”
She points her finger at me. “You won’t forget?”
I grab her finger before pulling her towards my chest. “Wild horses wouldn’t stop me from
meeting you.”
And it’s true. Nothing and no one will stop me meeting her on that day. The only time that will ever happen is if I’m dead.
“I’m getting hungry.”
I look around the room for a sign of a menu, but come up empty. “I don’t think this is the type of place you can call in room service.”
She pouts a little making me laugh. “I guess we’re going to have to get dressed and go down to the bar.”
I start to scoot and tap her legs. “Come on. Let’s get you some food.”
On a groan she gets up from the bed, all her beautiful nakedness on display. I love that she doesn’t try to hide herself from me. She bares all, and it’s what makes her beauty shine through even more.
After a quick wash, we leave our room and make our way down to the bar. There’s only a handful of people sitting. Most are on their own, but there are also a couple here like us.
“What can I get you?” The barman asks as we approach.
“Do you have a food menu?”
He points to a board in the corner of the bar. “We don’t do much, but what we do have is all on the board. Our speciality is fish and chips.”
I look down to Sasha and she gives me a nod. “Fish and chips sounds perfect. What about you?”
I look back to the barman. “Two fish and chips it is then. Can I also order a whiskey straight for me, and …” I look to Sasha for her order.
“A glass of dry white wine please.”
The barman nods his head before walking off to the kitchen. He then comes back out to deal with our drinks and I pay for everything up front. Once in hand, we find a table by a nice roaring fire and sit down.
“It’s cosy here,” Sasha begins as a small smile creeps up onto her face. “I could stay here forever.”
I inwardly groan at the thought. If I could I’d shrink Sasha down enough to fit her in my pocket. That way I could always have her with me. I won’t deny that I’m a selfish man in that respect. A small part of me wants to tell her to leave everything behind, move to Scotland with me and finish off her studies there, but that would be completely unreasonable. Plus, I used to have prospects. I could have offered her a stable life, but now that I’ve lost my job I have absolutely nothing but my love to offer her. The beauty of Sasha is I already know that it would be enough. She loves me unconditionally and a man can’t ask for more than that. It makes me want to offer her more. That’s why when I move back to Scotland I’m going to put my heart and soul into finding a new vocation—one that will give us a happy life. It’s the very least I can do.
But, I know in my heart that if she begged me to stay, I would. I’d throw caution to the wind and take whatever I could from her. I know that’s not what she wants, and unlike that fucker Liam I will respect her wishes.
“Are you okay?” she asks, placing a hand over mine, a deep, worrying frown on her face. “You look angry about something.”
I shake my head and smile. “It’s nothing.” I don’t want to bring him up in our conversation. This night is about us. Not him.
“Are you sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure. I don’t like our situation, but when love offers you a direction, you can’t help but follow its path.”
She sighs and it’s not a happy sigh. “Unfortunately our paths are opposite one another right now.”
“But they will eventually lead us back together again. Let’s focus on that.” She nods—a half-smile on her lips. I can tell she’s not happy and in that moment my weakness for her lets out. “You know I would drop everything if you asked me to. I would stay with you until you do your exams, if that was what you wanted.”
She squeezes my hand. “I know you would, but I would never ask such a thing. Besides, I think I need this. If you stay then you’d only be a distraction. Cameras would hound us and I would never be able to fully concentrate on my exams. Believe me, it pains me to send you away, but at least, as you say, our paths will eventually meet again.”
Our conversation is interrupted by our food arriving. We tuck in, both of us finishing off everything on our plate.
“Those were really good fish and chips,” Sasha says, wiping her mouth.
I pat my belly. “They really were.” I then point to her empty glass. “Do you want another bevvy?”
She shakes her head on a sultry smile. “There’s only one thing I want another of and it isn’t a drink.”
I almost growl at the thought. “Want to go back to our room?”
She smirks. “I thought you’d never ask.”
We make haste to our room and as soon as we’re there we strip down and we make love again. An hour later and we’re making love again. We can’t seem to get enough of each other. But I just know that no matter how much we make love it will never be enough.
When dawn arrives we’ve hardly slept. All I do is hold her in my arms, my grip getting tighter and tighter. She clings to me, her legs wrapped around my own, her hair tickling my chest. When the sun rises, she weeps, and it fucking breaks me all over again. All I can do is hold her. I have to be strong—no matter how much I want to shout and scream at the universe for taking her away from me.
When the time comes, we silently dress, packing our things, and check out of the B&B. We get on the bike, and both of us take one last look at the place that will fill us with both emotional extremes. On our ride back, Sasha clings to me like a second skin. Her arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, and her head is leaning against my back. So many times I want to stop and tell her that I can’t do this. I can’t be apart from her. But I don’t. She’s being so strong, so the least I can do is help keep up her strength by offering her something to lean on.
When we reach her block of flats, we both breathe a sigh of relief when we see no press standing outside. They must have gotten bored when they saw she wasn’t here and took off. Whatever the reason, I am grateful for her sake. With everything going on, the press is the last thing she needs.
When we both get off the bike and undo our helmets, she hands me hers, but I shake my head. “Keep it, biker chick. Bring it with you when we meet.”
She laughs, coming closer to me. “Okay.” Her laughter stops when she pulls me in for a hug. All I can do is squeeze her tightly to me and inhale as much of her flowery scent as I can. She always smells so wonderful.
“God, I fucking love you,” I say on an exhale. “Don’t ever forget me,” I tease, smiling when we pull away.
“You showed me what it was like to feel true love. How could I ever forget something as beautiful as that?”
Fuck, this girl is my undoing.
She then hiccups when she sighs, and tears spring to her eyes as she looks anywhere but at me. Dread fills me. I know something bad is coming. I can feel it in my gut.
“Promise me something,” she starts as her eyes find mine. Tears start to fall down her face as I take her hand.
“Anything.”
She takes in a deep breath, and I know that a sucker punch is coming. “Don’t call me, email me, or text me. If you do, I’ll give up everything I’ve worked so hard for and run to you. I’m hanging by a short thread as it is now. I don’t think I can take much more.”
As much as that fucking hurts, I nod my head. “June twenty-fifth,” I say, trying to insert some hope.
She nods and smiles through her tears. “June twenty-fifth.”
More tears surface, so I pull her in close and squeeze her tightly to me. We break away for a moment, but only to kiss before I pull her back into my arms again. We stay like that for an age—neither one of us willing to break the spell. In the end, however, I know the longer we stay like this, the more difficult it will be for me to leave.
It is I who pulls away first, but not before kissing her and wiping her tears from her cheeks. “No matter what, you will always be in here,” I say, placing my hand over my heart.
Sasha does the same, mimicking both my actions and words. “Goodbye, Easton.”
I shake my
head. “This is not a goodbye, baby. It’s an au revoir.”
I grab her hand, kiss it, and then she steps back, turns, and runs towards her flat. I watch as she disappears through the door, and it’s then that the force of us being apart hits me like lightening.
Closing my eyes, I let out a deep breath and place my helmet on my head. I flick the bike’s stand and rev the engines, suddenly overcome by a great need to leave as soon as I possibly can.
My heart breaks at the thought of not being able to contact her, but if that’s what she wants, then I will respect her wishes. One thing I know for sure is that I’ll be counting down the days until I see her again.
June twenty-fifth can’t come soon enough.
Distance
March moves into April, then slowly into May—every day seeming to get that little bit longer. I had been heartbroken when I left Easton, so I threw all my energy into my work. I could easily have given in, but what would that have looked like after my big song and dance about Easton and I not contacting each other? I did it solely so I could put one hundred percent into my studies, and although I fucking cursed myself for ever making Easton promise me no contact, it worked. I felt ready. Finally, I felt ready. I won’t deny that there weren’t a few hitches along the way like the pupils in school becoming so distracted with me that they had no other alternative but to escort me to my classes. I was always the last one in and the last to leave because otherwise I would have been hounded. Questions. There are constant questions about whether or not I am still seeing Mr Lockhart, and there are even questions about whether or not I am pregnant with his twin babies! Despite my stomach being flat and remaining that way, they still ask.
The press has died down, but unbeknownst to me and Easton, someone was spying on us that day when we said goodbye—or in Easton’s case, au revoir. They took a picture of our most precious last moments together—a picture which breaks my heart all over again every time I look at it. Easton is sitting on his bike, and his hand is holding mine as I shed painful tears. The caption reads, “Could this be the last farewell between student and teacher?”