“Fuck, suck it,” he bellows. “Suck my dick.”
God, hearing a man talk so dirty has my entire body warming for him again. I take all of him, swallowing him down, and relishing in the feeling of his cock swelling, before he spurts his release into my mouth. His groans fill the room, and I realize his fingers are tangled painfully in my hair as he uses my head to drive his thrusts. When he’s done, he slowly pulls out, and stares down at me, his eyes wild.
“You look so fuckin’ perfect down there, on your knees, lookin’ up at me with those innocent-as-fuck eyes.”
“I’m not innocent, Axel,” I mumble, not taking my eyes from his.
“You are, Cricket. If you fucked me the way I need to be fucked, it’d break you.”
I shake my head. “You don’t know what would break me. Not even I know that.”
He shakes his head, and pulls his jeans up, before leaning down and taking my arms, pulling me up. He turns me around, and uncuffs me. While his chest is pressed against my back, I think about how our sex continues to end...without him coming inside me. He has to come with his cock in my mouth, and curiosity has me blurting out, “Why don’t you come in me, Axel?”
He stops moving behind me, and he’s silent for a long moment.
“Because, Cricket, that’s the kind of fucked up I am. I have never, nor will I ever, come inside a woman. I don’t trust them enough. I refuse to give them that part of me.”
He thinks coming inside me is a weakness.
My heart hurts just that much more for him.
~*~*~*~
AXEL
I stare down at her, sleeping, her brown hair fanning out against the pillow as she breathes softly. I lift my hand, and run my fingers through my hair, feeling like a weight is sitting heavily on my chest. I shouldn’t be doing this. I’m playing with fire. A girl like her, she doesn’t deserve scum like me. She deserves only the best, but I’m letting her get in, and that shouldn’t be happening.
This isn’t how this is meant to go down.
She’ll never understand what kind of shit runs through my head. She’ll never understand that the reason I don’t come in her sweet depths is because I can’t. Me showing that kind of weakness isn’t something I’ve ever wanted to let myself do. I’ve never wanted to give a woman a moment where she sees I’ve lost my control. The only way I can find release is in her mouth. Seeing her kneel before me, it gives me a feeling of dominance, like I’m not weak, like I’m not completely fucked up.
I turn and walk from the room. I head back to my office, and slam the door behind me when I get in. I slump down in the chair, and stare at the desk. There’s paper everywhere, because I bent her over it, and fucked her...hard. Damned hard. She liked it. She’s got a dark side, and I don’t want to delve into it, because then I’ll let myself believe that maybe something can happen between us.
But it can’t.
It won’t.
“Yo, Pres,” Cobra says, walking into the room. “How’s things?”
I lift my eyes, and give him an intense expression. “Fuckin’ great.”
“Yeah, somehow I think you’re pullin’ my chain, boss. What’s goin’ on?”
“Nothin’,” I grunt.
“Has it got something to do with how hard you just fucked Meadow in here?”
I snap my head up, and shoot daggers at him. “What the fuck did you say?”
“No offense meant, boss, but the entire club heard her screamin’ your name.”
Fuck.
Shit.
I put my head in my hands, and growl loudly. “This is fucked up.”
“You two...a thing now?”
I jerk at his words, and begin shaking my head. “Fuck. No. I can’t be...we can’t be. Shit, I’ve gotten myself in deep, man, fuckin’ deep.”
“You care about her, boss?”
I can’t answer that, because the answer is pointless. It makes no difference to how this has to end. Caring, or not caring, either way she has to go. She can’t be here in all this fucked-up bullshit. It’s not where a girl like her is meant to be. She’s spent her life around lies, and she doesn’t even know it. She lost her mom at an early age, and she lost her dad pretty soon after. She’s been running since then, trying to protect something she doesn’t even fully understand.
Hell, I bet the girl has never even been to a party.
And that shit is partly my fault. I can’t keep holding her back. As soon as Beast has been dealt with, I’m letting her go. Hell, if there was a way I could let her go sooner, I would...
I stare down at my hands. There is one person who could take care of her until all this is sorted, but I don’t know if she’s willing to do it. I look up just as the door opens, and Colt comes in. I meet his gaze.
“Colt, I got somethin’ for you to do.”
He narrows his eyes, and crosses his big arms across his chest. “What’s that? If it’s got somethin’ to do with hurtin’ Meadow, you can forget it.”
“Stop your bullshit, and listen to me. I need you to go into my office, and get my phone, scroll through until you find a number with the title Lady Matilda. Get it, dial it, tell her I’m bringing someone to see her tonight.”
Colt raises his brows. “Lady Matilda?”
“Yeah,” I grunt, turning and meeting Cobra’s confused expression. “Lady Matilda.”
~*~*~*~
MEADOW
My entire body is on fire. Everything I touch is sensitive. My lips are swollen, my breasts are full and achy, and my pussy is still damp from having Axel deep inside me. I feel my body shiver as I step underneath the shower, feeling the cool water wash down over my overheated body. If you asked me what the hell just went down in there, I’d tell you I have no idea, but it was fucking hot.
So damned hot.
I fill my palm with soap, rubbing my hands together before pressing my palms over my breasts, lathering them up. I keep thinking about Axel and why he won’t allow himself to show that kind of pleasure to a woman. It’s like he’s keeping it so alpha, so male. Maybe he’s afraid of getting one pregnant, and not being in the right place to deal with it—not that he even asked to use a condom. Thinking of that has my heart picking up a few paces. I hope he’s clean...I mean...what if he’s not?
God, what the hell was I thinking, just letting him screw me like that?
I push the thought from my mind, adding it to the many things I have to ask him while I’m here. I close my eyes, lathering my hair up, and I am taken back to the feeling of having his hands on me, his cock deep inside me, his lips on mine. My pussy clenches, and I find myself sliding my fingers down and over my sensitive nipples. A small moan escapes my lips as I pinch the hard buds, and then slip my fingers down lower, gently spreading my folds.
“If you’re gonna put your fingers inside that sweet pussy, I’m watching, darlin’.”
I jerk my head up, and see Axel standing at the bathroom door, wearing only a pair of faded black jeans. I move my fingers from my throbbing sex, and turn my eyes away quickly. “I was just...ah...washing...”
“That was some pretty fuckin’ seductive washing. If you wash yourself like that every night, I’m not gettin’ out of this shower.”
I flush, and press my arm over my chest, hiding the fact that my nipples went from hard to so stiff they ache. A grin appears on his devastating face, and I want nothing more than to go over and wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him until we both can’t breathe. But Axel doesn’t just kiss. He doesn’t peck. He doesn’t hug. He fucks, and he fucks good, but that’s where the connection lies. There is no affection.
My heart aches at that realization.
“Get outta there, and come and eat with me. We gotta talk, Cricket.”
I feel my body tense, just slightly. Something is lying in his gaze, something like...sadness? No, Axel Wraithe doesn’t get sad, so what could it be? Has something happened? Did they catch Beast? Am I able to go home? Do I even want to go home? My heart, which was before onl
y filling my body with a dull ache, is now thudding.
I don’t know if I can walk away.
“O-o-okay,” I whisper.
His eyes search my face before he turns and walks out, leaving me standing there, confused. I quickly get out of the shower and dry myself, before throwing on a pair of shorts and a tank.
Then I walk out into his room. Axel is sitting at the office desk in the corner, and when I walk in, he looks up at me. He’s got two sandwiches, and he slides one toward me. I take a seat next to him, and stare down at the food with no interest.
“So,” he begins, his voice not giving away any emotion, “you know I got shit to deal with, and I can’t keep my club on lockdown. I need to get out, and I need to finish this with Beast. I can’t have you here while that shit goes down. It’s club business, and it ain’t safe for you here. I can’t just let you go home, either, because you’re in too much danger. Until I’ve sorted this, I’m sending you to stay with a very good friend of mine.”
“What?” I say meekly, shaking my head. “I don’t want to go and stay with someone I don’t know, Axel.”
His expression hardens just slightly, enough to push his authority. “You’re not getting a choice, Cricket.”
I skid my chair back, still shaking my head. “You can’t choose how I live my life, Axel. I don’t even have to be here. If you’re done with me, then just send me home, but I’m not going to stay with someone I don’t know. I do get a choice, because it’s MY life. So if we’re finished whatever the fuck it is we’re doing here, I’ll be on my way.”
Axel is out of his chair before I can take one step toward the door. His fingers curl around my arm, and he spins me around. I stop, nearly nose to nose with him, and his eyes are telling me he’s not happy with me deciding how this is going to go. Well, fuck him, he can’t choose what I do with my life. If he wants to chase that no-good son-of-a-bitch across the countryside, that’s up to him.
“Whatever the fuck we’re doin’ here,” he breathes, “ain’t done yet. And you’ll do as you’re told, because you’re the one who made a choice to run with information that was never for you.”
“To be clear, Axel, it was never for you, either. It was for Raide, and because of you I never got to get it to...”
“Raide is dead, Cricket,” Axel snarls, cutting me off. “There is no Raide.”
“What?” I squeak, perplexed.
“He’s dead. Beast killed him. I’m the best option you have right now, because while that man is alive, you’re not safe. If you’re goin’ to run again, and give me hell, then give me some warning, yeah? So I can make sure to give Lady Matilda a good set of chains.”
“I hate you,” I whisper, in a pained, broken voice.
“No darlin’,” he murmurs, taking the back of my head in his large hand, and pulling me close. “You just hate that you can’t walk away.”
“You’re wrong,” I breathe. “I could walk away. You’re just not giving me the chance.”
His body flinches at my words, and he lets me go, stepping back. His stony expression returns, and he crosses his arms. “No, you’re right, I’m not. I won’t have your death on my hands. I don’t need any more shit in my life. So you’re goin’, whether you like it or not. We clear?”
“Crystal,” I spit.
“Good. Pack your things, we leave in an hour.”
With that, he turns and walks out of the room. And I push the burning sensation forming under my eyelids back.
If this is what he wants...so be it.
CHAPTER 14
MEADOW
Your monsters excite me, let them ignite me.
The ride to this “Lady Matilda’s” house is long, and draining. I sit on the back of Axel’s bike, leaning up against the backrest and trying to take my mind off the fact that all this has gone downhill so quickly. One minute I’m beginning to feel like Axel and I are connecting, the next he’s got me on the back of his bike, riding to the house of a woman I don’t even know.
I was worried about safety, being that the club was on lockdown, but Cobra and Jax had managed to secure Beast’s location before we went so we slipped away. It’s now late afternoon, and the sun is dropping down over the horizon. We’ve been on the road for two hours, and my backside is numb from the lack of movement. Axel hasn’t stopped, and something about his rigid position tells me he’s not going to.
So I suck it up.
We ride for another half an hour before he finally turns down and old, well-worn driveway. We ride through thick trees, until we come into a clearing, with a large, wooden, two-story home sitting right in the middle. It’s a faded white, with blue shutters, and a balcony running the entire length of the bottom. Out front is an old car, and a motorbike. Great. Is Lady Matilda someone’s Old Lady?
Axel comes to a stop outside the large home, and I slide off the bike, groaning at the sudden rush of blood to my ass. I unbuckle my helmet, and put it on the back of the bike before taking my backpack, and slinging it over my shoulder. I stare at Axel as he looks up at the old house as if he’s not seen it in a long time. Maybe this is his aunt? Or mother? I don’t know.
“Come on,” he says, walking toward the front steps without turning back to me.
I follow him with a grumble, and when we reach the front door, it swings open, revealing...oh...my...God. My mouth drops open, but I quickly close it, not wanting to seem rude. There in front of me...is the biggest...maybe even the prettiest...drag queen I’ve ever seen.
Lady Matilda is a drag queen.
Of course she is...or he...?
“Axel, sugar, well look at you,” Lady Matilda purrs, placing her hands on Axel’s cheeks, and looking at him with a soft expression.
“It’s been a long time, Lady.” He smiles.
“Too long, honeypot, too long. God, I’ve missed you. Come inside, tell me how you’ve been.”
Axel turns to me, and I step out from beside him and stare up at Lady Matilda. She’s tall, with thick yet elegant legs and a long, lean body. She has this golden hair that sits around her shoulders so perfectly I ponder for a moment how she does it. Her clothes are elegant and defined, and they make her look so...womanly. She’s wearing what could likely be the nicest pair of flats I’ve ever seen, and her toenails are so perfectly manicured I’m in awe. Her make up is utterly amazing, like she’s had it done professionally, only I have no doubt she did it herself.
“Well, I’ll say,” she breathes. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”
Axel stares at me for a long moment before turning back to her. “Yeah, she is. Can we come in?”
“Of course you can, sugar.” She smiles, and then stretches her hand out to me. “I’m Lady Matilda, but you can call me Lady. What’s your name, sweet thing?”
“It’s Meadow,” I say, in a small, timid voice.
“Well, that’s a darling name. Come in, let me get y’all something to eat.”
I step inside her huge home after Axel, and peer around. Everything is decorated brightly. She has pale blue walls, with a dark blue lounge. Her kitchen is stark white, but she’s got numerous pot plants, and pretty, colorful paintings filling the room to make it seem like someone threw up paint all through it. She leads us past the living area, and into a large dining hall with a long, wooden table. Again, with accessories that really do make you want to gag.
“Take a seat. I’ll bring some iced tea.”
Axel and I both sit, and I watch as she walks out of the room. Damn, she’s huge but in such a feminine kind of way. I turn to Axel, and he gives me a weak smile.
“You’re making me live with a drag queen?” I whisper.
He leans close. “That woman...she’s the damned best thing that’ll ever come into your life, Cricket. You need to trust me on that.”
“How do you know her?” I ask.
His eyes go vacant, and he murmurs, “She helped me through some shit, a long time ago.”
“Oh,” I say, sitting back.
“Here we a
re,” Lady says, walking back into the room with a bunch of glasses on a tray. I can hear the jingling of ice as she moves.
She places the tray down, then tucks a long, blonde strand of hair behind her ear. She sits down, and smiles at Axel. Her expression is warm toward him, her eyes are filled with love, and I can clearly see she adores him. Not in a sexual kind of way, but in the way a mother adores her child. She reaches over, and takes his hand, staring down at his thick rings.
“I heard you were the president now.”
It’s not a question, and the look she gives him is one of concern, as if she doesn’t like to hear this kind of news. Almost as though...she’s disappointed in him. He closes his hand over hers, and smiles at her. God, he’s breathtaking when he smiles.
“I am, and it’s all fine, Lady. Don’t worry.”
“You’re so much better than all that, Axel.”
“They’re my family,” he says stiffly.
“They’re also the reason you don’t smile right up to your eyes anymore.”
I narrow my eyes, and stare at them. I know what she means by that, of course. Even when Axel smiles, it never reaches his eyes, nor is it ever a true smile. I wonder what happened? Why would she say something like that? Axel obviously gives her a look, because her eyes turn to me.
“And the girl knows nothing of your past,” she says softly. “Where are you from, sweetheart?”
“Nowhere important,” I say, forcing a smile.
“How do you know Axel?”
I stare over at Axel, who’s watching me with a curious expression.
“We were friends when I was younger. Well, he was my father’s friend.”
Lady Matilda’s eyes narrow, and she turns to Axel. A moment of silence falls between them, and I can see she forces a smile on her face, but there’s concern etched there, I can see it.
“Well then,” she says. “I’m going to get us some of these delicious cookies I baked earlier, and you two can tell me what’s going on. Axel, come and help your old friend.”