“Meadow, I didn’t expect you so soon. Are you okay?”
I hesitate. “Ah, yeah. I just wanted to, um, talk to you.”
He nods. “Can I get you something to drink? You look upset.”
“No, thank you.”
He extends his hand further toward me, and I take it. He leads me down a small hall, and into a large office. He points to a big, comfy gray sofa in the corner of the room, and I sit. He takes the one across from me, sitting down too. I entwine my fingers back into their comfy position, and I lift my eyes to meet his. God, he’s like Axel now I’m looking at him, really looking...I can see it.
“You want to tell me why you’re here so soon?” he asks, leaning back in the chair.
“I want to know...your story. I’ve heard Axel’s, but I haven’t heard yours, and I think...I think I need to.”
He stares at me for a long moment, and then he nods. “Yes, I believe you do.”
“So are you going to tell me...?” I say, hesitant.
“Tell me what you already know...”
I shake my head. “So you can leave details out? No. You’re either going to tell me, Mr. Wraithe, or you’re not.”
“Raide. And I’ll tell you. I’ve got nothing to hide from you, Meadow.”
I stare at him, not answering, just giving him one of those well, hurry it up expressions. He sighs, and stares down at his hands.
“I met your dad in our first year training. We hit it off right away. We both got situated at the same place, and things were great. It was great for a long time. He got married, and you were born. I was there through it all. Then Axel came back into town. I love my son, don’t get me wrong, but I had him young. I was only fifteen when his momma got pregnant. We were young, and stupid, and he got adopted out. We really didn’t get a choice.”
He sighs before continuing.
“Axel tracked me down when he was old enough, and came back for me. It didn’t go so well. He was angry at me, and when he found out I was a cop, shit hit the fan. I didn’t know he was in a club at that point, but when I did, we knew we couldn’t associate with each other.”
“So, what happened then?” I ask, leaning forward, and resting my hands on my knees.
“Your dad and I got put on an undercover mission together: to create ourselves a biker club, and get as much undercover information as we could to bring down the clubs. At that point, there were a lot of drugs being illegally run, and the cops couldn’t get close enough. It took us a solid eight years to earn the respect of the clubs, and get our name out there. Axel hated us. He knew what we were doing, and he chose to cut ties with both of us. He only came back to see you.”
“Me?” I ask.
He nods, smiling. “He adored you, and it was the only time we saw him. He’d come and pick you up, taking you out.”
I feel myself smiling at the memories. Axel used to take me riding, right up until I was about twelve. Then he distanced himself from me, leaving me heart broken. I don’t recall ever seeing Raide, and I narrow my eyes.
“I don’t remember you, if you were friends with my father, why don’t I remember you?”
“We worked in the same place for a while, but I was always away. You did meet me a few times, but it was with groups of people, so you wouldn’t remember. We tried to keep it all away from family, your father didn’t want you involved, so he usually kept people from your house.”
Makes sense.
Shaking my head, I continue. “So, you and my dad set Axel up?”
He shakes his head. “No, that wasn’t exactly how it was meant to go. Axel thinks it is, Meadow, but it wasn’t. We were after another club, but unfortunately, Axel’s club was involved in the shipments that we were looking at. He thinks we set him up to start a war between the clubs so we could bring them down, but it wasn’t the case. We sent Beast in with false information to the docks, to pick up a shipment. We were going to bring him down; we had enough evidence. Axel got wind of it, and he showed up first. By the time we got there, both of them were gone. We didn’t see Axel again for nearly six months after that. When he came back, he wasn’t the same.”
“Beast took Axel?” I gasp, fear coursing through my veins. No, that can’t be right.
“Yes, we got there and Beast and Axel were already gone.”
“So, how did I come about running with that USB?”
Raide rubs his temples. “Axel came back on a rampage. He wanted revenge. He believed we’d set him up. He started tapping lines, finding out as much information as he could. I’d been transferred at this point, only your dad was left. The case had basically been declared a failure when we lost Axel and Beast, but then your dad started gathering information again. He was getting threatened, and it was becoming too dangerous for you and him to stay in town. A war was brewing, and you couldn’t be around.”
God, I clench my hands tighter together, trying to steady my pounding heart.
“Your dad had only one choice. The bikers knew what he was, what he’d done. He had to go into witness protection. He didn’t want to make you go. You were young and fragile, so he was going to take you out of town, and let you go. He put all the information on the USB, and he was going to drive it to me to continue with the case...then you know what happened after that.”
I feel my eyes burn with tears, and I swallow, shaking my head rapidly.
“So...you want the information to take down Axel, too?”
He shakes his head. “I know you don’t believe it, but I turn a blind eye to my son’s club. It’s not easy, but I do it. I’ve always found a way to protect him, even if he doesn’t believe it. I want the information to take down Beast and his club, as well as a chain of other outlaw clubs.”
“Taking them down would cause a war, wouldn’t it?”
He shrugs. “No, not if we have enough information.”
“The information on the USB,” I whisper.
“I swear to you, Meadow. I will not bring any harm to my son’s club. They’re careful; we have nothing on them. They don’t have to be involved in this.”
“You’ll understand that I need time to process this?” I whisper, lifting my eyes and meeting his.
“I understand.”
I stand, feeling my knees wobble. “Do you know what happened to Axel?”
Raide shakes his head. “No. I tried to find out, but I could never get a lead.”
I nod, walking to the door. “Can I ask you one more thing, Raide?”
He nods, looking exhausted.
“Do you love him?”
He smiles weakly. “I never had a chance to get to know my son, to love him, but every part of me aches every day to try. I want to love him, Meadow. He just won’t let me.”
“I know the feeling,” I mumble under my breath.
Raide stands, walking over. He places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about Mitchell...”
I swallow the lump that forms in my throat. “My dad didn’t deserve to die, but sometimes these things can’t be helped.”
“No,” he says. “They can’t. Do you have money to get yourself some accommodation?”
I smile, but it’s weak. “With all due respect, sir, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t ask you.”
He grins at me. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. Let me at least pay for a cab to get you where you need to go.”
I won’t argue with that. “Okay, thank you.”
“Call me when you decide what to do, Meadow.”
I nod, and walk out of the room. My head is spinning.
~*~*~*~
MEADOW
I go to the only place I can think of. Even though it hurts to go back and face the memories that lay there, I have nowhere else to go. The cab stops, and I smile at the driver and get out. I stare up at the big house, and sigh. I hope Lady will let me stay a few days, because if she doesn’t, I don’t know where I’ll go.
I’m halfway up the drive when my cell buzzes. I stare down at the screen, and I’m surprised
to see a text from Axel.
A – Are we goin to be runnin again?
I’m angry at him, but more than that, I want him to know that I’m done playing his little games.
M – I’m not running anywhere. I went to see Raide.
My phone is silent a long moment—too long. I lean against the tree, and wait for it to buzz again. It does, five minutes later.
A – Glad to see I mean so fuckin much to you, Meadow.
Oh, he’s not going to use that on me. No fucking way.
M – You wouldn’t give me answers. I had every right to go to him. Don’t make me feel bad about that. I don’t have to answer to you any more, remember?
A – No problem.
Ouch.
M – You know, I figured something out today...
A – And that is?
M – That I’m in love with a self-righteous pig who refuses to let me into his heart, even though I’ve fully accepted the darkness there. I’m tired of playing your games, Axel. We’re done here. Come and get your USB. To be honest, I don’t care what you do with it. I’m done playing with you, and it’s about time I moved on. I’m at Lady’s. Send someone to get it, or get it yourself. I no longer care.
I switch the phone off before I can see if he answers or not. A loud crack of thunder fills the sky, and I stare up at the angry gray clouds rolling in. I didn’t see them coming. I rush up the stairs of Lady’s front porch, and rap on the door. A moment later, it swings open, and Lady stands there, staring at me with shock.
“Sugar, what are you doing here?”
I fumble a little with my words. “Well, uh, it’s a long story but, uh...I’ve got no where else to go, Lady.”
She smiles right away. “Come in, love, it’s freezing out, and we’re about to get rained on.”
I step into her house, and I feel a little shiver pass over me. I try not to think about what went down here, because I know it’s the only place I have to go right now.
“You look hungry, sugar. Let me give you something to eat.”
Lady rushes into the kitchen, and I sit on the couch, trying to think of anything but the fact that I just told Axel I loved him over a text. I mean, come on, seriously? I shake my head, disgusted with myself for losing my temper.
Lady comes out a moment later with a sandwich and a cup of tea. She places them down in front of me, and looks at me sadly.
“This can’t be good if you’re here, and not with Axel.”
I give her a weak smile. “I found out about his dad, and all the things that happened with mine, and when I asked him what happened to him he still refused to tell me. I love him, Lady, but I can’t keep coming second to his demons.”
She nods, understanding. “Axel is a hard man. I wish there was something I could say to make this better for you.”
“It’s okay, I’m not here to feel better. I just needed somewhere to go.”
She smiles, and taps my hand. “I have to go out now, love. But you’re welcome to stay. Go back up to your room, and make yourself at home.”
“Thank you, Lady. I can’t express just how much this means to me.”
She beams. “I’m sure I get it.”
I’m sure she does, too.
CHAPTER 24
MEADOW
Come back to me, my love, let me give you all I have.
I flop down onto the bed in Lady’s guest room, and contemplate turning my phone on. Part of me wants to know what Axel said; the other really doesn’t. I decide that leaving it off is my best option right now. I roll to my side, and stare out the window. The storm is rolling in, crackling in the distance. Rain is thundering against the window, making splatting sounds. Most times I’d love lying here, listening to the rain, but right now it’s making me uneasy.
I get up, deciding to go and make myself something to eat. Really, it’s just to try and take my mind off all the information Raide gave me, mixed with what Axel gave me. My heart is constantly aching, and it’s taking all my strength not to run to Axel and just forget the past and find the future. But that’s not so easy to do right now. I just need some time, some space, to figure out how this is going to go down.
I spend the next two hours reading in Lady’s library. I’ve picked up an old Virginia Andrews book, and I’m flicking through the pages.
That’s when someone raps on the door, loudly, frantically. I get to my feet, staring at the entryway. I didn’t hear a car. I walk slowly toward the door, wondering if it’s a good idea to answer it. I mean, what if it’s one of Lady’s cases, and he or she is on a rampage? I scrunch my nose up in contemplation, and continue toward the front door.
It bangs again, louder, more desperate.
Swallowing, I take the handle, and open it. In front of me stands a very drenched, panting Axel. My eyes widen, and a little squeak leaves my throat. What the hell is Axel doing here? I never expected him to come, I was sure he’d send one of his guys. His eyes are wild, and he must be soaked to the bone. Before I can open my mouth to say something, he rasps out, “Beast took me, and he tortured me.”
My mouth snaps closed, and I say nothing.
Axel shoves past me, and I can almost feel the emotion radiating off him. This isn’t easy for him; I can tell by the way his shoulders are tensing, and untensing. He’s dripping water all over the floor, but I don’t bother to say that. I just watch him as he walks over to the window, staring out. His fists are clenched, and when he speaks, his voice comes out ragged and tight.
“He took me the day your father and my father set me up at that dock. I went alone; I didn’t expect him to be there. He outnumbered me, and he took me. He was hoping to use me as leverage, but then he just decided he liked the idea of torturing me. And that’s what he did.”
He pauses, and then continues.
“Every day, for nearly six months, he tortured me. He beat me, he burned me, he starved me—you name it, he did it. Those things weren’t what broke my spirit. It was the girls...”
The girls? I swallow, feeling my heart speed up, but I don’t say anything. Axel doesn’t turn.
“He used to bring them in daily, bound and shackled. He would make them get on their knees, and suck me off until I came. They were there against their will, crying and gagging as they were forced to shove my cock into their mouths and suck until I came.” He spins around, panting. “Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to come when you know you’re basically raping a woman?”
I shake my head, and tears tumble down my cheeks.
“The first day, he made the girl suck me for over two hours. My dick didn’t want a bar of it. I was so mortified I was gagging, but eventually, after experimenting further, she got me there. It’s hard not to come when someone is sucking you. Even if you know they don’t want it, it’s so fucking hard.”
I make a strangled sound, and press my hand to my head. Oh God, the poor thing.
“This continued on, every fucking day. Eventually, I got used to it. I knew the quicker I got it over with, the quicker they would get to leave. They came to trust me, flashing me smiles before they’d leave. They knew I wouldn’t hurt them, and we grew an understanding.”
“H-h-h-how did you get out?” I whisper.
“One of the girls let me go,” he snorts. “Can you believe it? She was forced to suck my dick every day for at least a few weeks, but she managed to get that key and let me go. It wasn’t easy to get out, but I did it. So there it is, Cricket. You know all of me now...”
His voice breaks at the end, and I lift my eyes to meet his. His beautiful aqua orbs are glassy and red, and his jaw is tight. He’s waiting for me to say something, and probably to run and be disgusted. How can I be? It’s no different to a woman being raped. How could I ever find him repulsive? It wasn’t his fault. He endured one of the worst things a human can endure.
Slowly, on wobbly legs, I walk toward him, stopping when we’re nearly chest to chest.
“It changes nothing for me,” I whisper, reaching up, and
grazing my fingertips over his cheek. He shudders, and closes his eyes. “I love you, Axel Wraithe. That hasn’t changed.”
His eyes pop open, and his lips part slightly. “How the fuck can you love me? After everything I’ve done to you, you should hate me, Cricket.”
“Hate and love are powerful emotions, equally the same. If I have to pick one, I’m going to go with love.”
He reaches up, and cups my cheek. Then he drops his head and his lips graze over mine. Before I can say a word, he reaches down and scoops me up into his arms, carrying me up the stairs. He takes me into the bathroom, and sets me on my feet.
I stare in full appreciation as he slowly strips out of his drenched clothes. When he’s naked before me, I smile. That view will never get old. I remove my clothes quicker than lightning, and then I step forward, placing my hands on his chest.
“Once you go here, Cricket, you can’t go back. If you accept this, all of me, then I’m never lettin’ you go.”
His voice is serious, his tone determined. I smile up at him.
“I say, bring it on.”
He grins, and then swings the shower door open and shoves me into it. The moment the water runs over our bodies, and we press ourselves together, I know I don’t want to wait. I don’t want foreplay, I don’t want roaming fingers—I just want him inside me. Hard and fast. Right now. As if reading my mind, Axel spins me around and presses my chest against the shower wall. His hand runs down my back, and around the front to my pussy. He cups it.
I can feel his cock pressing against my ass, and his lips grazing my ear. I make a happy sound, and push my ass back into him. He growls, and lowers his body just slightly, before driving upward and sliding into me with one swift thrust. I cry out, tensing right away at the tiny sting of pain that radiates through my body. That’s soon replaced with pleasure as Axel begins to slide in and out of me.
“Always wanted you like this. Pressed against a wall, with nowhere to go,” he rasps into my ear.
“Maniac.” I giggle, but it’s cut off with a moan as he tilts his hips, hitting that sweet spot.
“You’re goin’ to come for me, at least twice.”