She’d thought the same at one time, but she regretted plenty now. “Thank you.”
“Did you want dessert?”
“Oh, I shouldn’t—”
“I’m ordering the black forest cake.”
“But I will,” she laughed. I’ll do the diet tomorrow. Fresh start. “Make that two black forest cakes.”
“Perfect.” He snapped the menu shut and grinned.
Though they never breached any other personal topics, a sense of understanding established between them. She didn’t know why Calvin and his wife split up, nor did she intend to ask. No matter what he said, Scarlet would never assume to understand his experience any more than an outsider could understand hers.
When he walked her to her car, he opened the door—a rather polite gesture she couldn’t determine to be manners or flirting. “I actually had a nice time tonight.”
“Imagine that,” he teased. “I did too. Maybe we can do it again soon. I don’t know about you, but the silence at home gets sort of old.”
She chuckled. “I hear that.” Silence was all she heard at home, apart from the occasional meow from Thor. “Thanks again.”
She slid into her car and he gently shut the door. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she might stand a chance at beating the overwhelming depression blanketing her life—a very optimistic hope for her cynical mind. But seeing that other people managed after divorce told her she should be able to handle a breakup.
Chapter Twenty
What Big Eyes You Have
Thor hid on the bookcase as the vacuum roared and the stereo blared. Scarlet let her tears fall as she sung along with Three Dog Night. “One is the loneliest number! Onnnnnnne is the loneliest number that you’ll ever doooooo…”
Shouting with the chorus, she bopped her head, her ratty hair sticking to her tears. Her mismatched socks tapped along to the beat. “Onnnnnnnne….la la—”
The power running to the vacuum cut off and the stereo silenced. She pivoted and found Nicole standing in her doorway holding the limp cords.
“No,” her friend stated, deadpan. “No, no, no, no, no. You are not doing this.”
Scarlet adjusted the vacuum to its upright position. “I was just cleaning.”
“Bullshit. There’s a fucking kitten on your shirt and those pants are from nineteen ninety-nine. There’s nothing clean about—” She waved her hand in a very metrosexual circle. “This.”
Taking inventory of her personal appearance, she gave up any argument. “Fine. I was crying.”
“Scarlet,” Nicole sighed. “You have to get out of this house.”
“I went out yesterday.”
“Where?”
“To the pharmacy.”
“Oooh. And what did we buy on this big excursion?”
“Toothpaste and tweezers.”
Her friend shook her head and plopped on the couch. She followed and Nicole took her hand. “Okay, listen to me, hon. I know what you’re going through.”
No, you don’t.
“I know you’re afraid to get back out there.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“But—wait, you’re not?”
She shook her head. “No. I just don’t see the point. I’m perfectly happy here, doing my own thing.”
“Crying and listening to Three Dog Night?”
She shrugged. “I’m not going to pretend out there is any better. I’ve been out there. It’s all fake.”
“See? Right there! Honey, it’s not all fake. What Matt and I have, that’s real. You can find something real too—not necessarily meaning you need a man, but you need to rejoin the land of the living. You have to get out of the sweats and stop wearing clothing with animals on them, and for God’s sake brush your hair.”
“Why? So someone can see some polished version of the truth? Sounds like lying to me.”
She dropped her hand. “Okay, how’s this? You’re turning into Debbie Downer and no one’s ever going to see how beautiful you are if you mope around looking like an extra from Thriller. I know he hurt you, but you’re not the first woman to go through something like this—”
“Yes, Nicole, I am. I’m absolutely the first woman to go through anything remotely close to what I’ve been through. It wasn’t normal. What we did, the conversations we had—they were beyond intimate.”
“You didn’t even have sex with him!”
She jumped to her feet. “So? Some things are more intimate than sex! You’ll never understand, so stop trying!”
“Fine.” She stood and collected her purse. When she reached the front door she turned. “Just remember that I tried to get through to you and make you see there are things to be happy about, but you wanted to be sad more. Enjoy your misery.”
The door closed. “I will.”
Later that night as she lay in the bath she texted Nicole.
I’m a shit friend right now. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.
Her response was immediate.
I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m not trying to minimize what you’ve been through. I know you’re heartbroken. But I miss my friend and hate seeing you this way. I’m sorry. Do you want him back?
She sighed, appreciating her friend’s apology. Nicole’s husband was a cop and more than once offered to run the minimal information they had on Mr. Stone to see if they could find him, but Scarlet didn’t see that as a solution. She only wanted him if he wanted her, which he didn’t.
No. I wanted someone to love me. He doesn’t. I have higher standards than that.
She chuckled and hit send. Nicole, of course, got the inside joke.
THAT’S MY GIRL! YES!!! You hold on to those standards because you deserve someone who can reach them!
She smiled. It was nice to know Nicole at least changed her position in that department. If Mr. Stone taught her anything, it was to admit what she wanted and settle for nothing less. Though she didn’t want a man in her life, she knew what she was worth, and any man incapable of fighting for her wasn’t worth her time.
Sliding her phone away, she faced some uncomfortable truths. Her body was suffering from this depression. Her mood was unbearable. Her libido had shriveled up like an old…she couldn’t think of something that shriveled. Maybe a hermit crab or an old mummy. Ew. The point was she was falling apart, literally rotting from the inside out. And Nicole was right. It needed to stop.
Maybe she should talk to a professional. Maybe she should see about getting on antidepressants. Exhausted by the mere thought of her options, she sunk deeper in the tepid water and shut her eyes. Maybe it would just go away and one day she’d wake up normal again.
The problem was, she didn’t remember her normal before him. She hated him for what he’d done. Hated the idea that it was all just an act for him. She felt him, connected with him. But her honesty and trust wasn’t enough to compensate for his lack of faith and it never would be.
It didn’t matter. He was never coming back and she was never going to see him again or have the answers she wanted. Deciding enough was enough, she left the tub and focused on the things she could count on—herself, her friends, and her students. Tomorrow was a big day at school and she wouldn’t let her happiness be overshadowed by what she could not change. There would be no more dwelling on Mr. Stone.
****
Lifting her hand, she waited for the students to settle. “Boys and Girls, I’m waiting.”
Gradually, the noise in the auditorium quieted. “We have the luxury of meeting some very clever men today and I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.”
The students weren’t aware they were about to be gifted with ninety thousand dollars worth of technology and she was giddy with anticipation. “How many of you are familiar with GeekPeek—a show of hands?”
Every hand went up.
“How many of you use that social network?” Most hands remained lifted. Some younger students lowered their arms.
“Well, did you know the cr
eators of that social network actually went to our school and once sat right here in this auditorium?”
The kids began to whisper and comment on this news. She grinned, sure she had their attention and grateful Mr. Garnet had shared that inspiring fact.
All four of the creators actually graduated with her class. She’d looked them up online, but didn’t recognize any of them. She was going to dig out her yearbook this week and see if older pictures brought back any memories.
“That’s right,” she continued. “Not only did they attend the same school as you, they’re here today with an incredible gift. I want you to put away anything distracting, give your full attention to our guests, and show them how much we appreciate their time. Please welcome two of the co-founders of GeekPeek, Mr. Jet Piazza and Mr. Asher Roan.”
The students clapped as she stepped back from the podium as their two honored guests stepped out from backstage. Both were dressed in suits, one tall, dark, and dangerously handsome, the other refined and equally dangerous, but in an intellectually attractive way, the sort of sophisticatedly handsome look every woman fell for.
She smiled in greeting, wishing she’d had a chance to welcome them before the students arrived. “Thank you so much for coming,” she whispered, handing off the microphone. “I’m Scarlet Farrow, the teacher that wrote the grant.”
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Farrow. I’m Jet and this is Ash.”
She shook his hand, surprised by her nerves. The other man, Ash, nodded and she didn’t sense an opportunity to offer more of a greeting so she quickly stepped backstage where the curtains hung.
“How we doin’ today, kids?” Jet shouted and the students again applauded. “How many of you recognize this?” He held up a tablet and every hand went up.
“It’s a telephone, right?”
“No,” the kids called.
“It’s not?” Jet frowned at the device, creating an immediate rapport with the crowd. “Is it a typewriter?”
“No!”
“A computer?”
“No!”
“Then what is it?”
A bunch of hands shot up and Jet pointed to a girl in the front row. “It’s a tablet.”
“Can you type on it?”
The girl nodded.
“Can I take it online?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I use it to video chat with friends in China?”
“Well, yeah…”
“So maybe it is a typewriter, computer, and telephone all in one.”
“Yeah, but it’s more than that,” the girl said.
Jet nodded. “Interesting. How many of you kids have one of these at home?”
A few hands went up and someone shouted, “My mom has one.”
“What if I told you Ash and I had a few to give away? Would you sit up straight and be the best audience we ever had?”
The chairs squeaked as every student suddenly corrected his or her posture. Jet laughed and Scarlet smiled. He had a wonderful disposition the kids immediately responded to.
“Before I go handing out tablets to the good listeners, I’d like to hand the mic over to my friend Ash who’s going to tell you all how much these little things can actually do. See…we’re sort of nerds like that. We like to invent toys that can always be upgraded and advanced. So while some of you might have seen similar tablets before, this one is brand new and not on the market until next month. I bet you’ll learn something new today and maybe when you get home you can share your expertise with Mom and Dad. You ready to learn?”
“Yeah!” The crowd shouted.
He handed the mic to the man with the dark hair and glasses. He didn’t seem to have the ease with public speaking that Jet possessed. As he approached the podium slowly, he glanced over his shoulder and she smiled, thanking him with a nod. This was such a wonderful thing they were doing for the community.
His shoulders lifted, as he appeared to draw in a deep breath. “Good morning. I’m Asher Roan, founder and creator of GeekPeek.”
Her jaw slackened as every muscle in her face went lax. Her stomach sunk and her knees softened. Reaching out, she quickly caught something beside her as her entire body went weak.
“Scarlet?” Calvin stood, quickly catching her arm. Her nails dug into his sleeve as she fought to remain upright. “Scarlet, are you ill?”
On the stage and through every speaker in the auditorium his voice echoed. She shut her eyes, the familiar blindness tightening everything into acute perspective. Her last thought, before all sound cut out to a humming whistle and her body went limp was, it had to be him. She’d know that voice anywhere. Mr. Stone.
****
Cool moisture pressed against her brow and she snuggled into the couch. Her nose crinkled as she breathed in the unpleasant scent of plastic and body odor. Why did her sofa smell like the gymnasium? Her eyes shot open—because she was at school.
She gasped, totally disoriented, and tried to sit up a little too fast. “What happened?”
Calvin’s face blurred into view. “You fainted.”
She blinked as Nancy, the school nurse, dabbed her head with a cool cloth. “You’ve been out for almost forty-five minutes.”
She looked around, no longer backstage. “This isn’t where I was.”
“We didn’t want to make a scene in front of the whole school so once Nancy got there and said you were safe, we moved you to the gym.”
“These mats smell like a twelve year old’s armpit.”
Calvin chuckled and helped her sit up. “Did you skip breakfast today?”
“No, I—” Her breathing turned choppy. “Where are the men from GeekPeek?”
“They’re still here. You missed the big announcement. The kids freaked when they realized they were all getting a tablet.”
“Here, have some water. Your color still looks off to me,” Nancy said, handing her a bottle. “I’m going to get some hard candy out of my desk. Maybe your sugar’s low.”
She chugged the water and wished she’d had three more bottles. “Did anyone see me faint?” How embarrassing!
“I don’t think so. It was quiet. I’ve never seen a person actually faint before. You just sort of wobbled and grabbed my arm then I felt your body go limp and eased you into a chair.”
“Thank God you were there.” If Calvin hadn’t been there she would have hit the ground like a ton of bricks. “I’ve never fainted before.”
“Maybe you should call your doctor.”
She shook her head, dismissing his suggestion. She knew exactly what caused her to faint. Shutting her eyes, she listened carefully, trying to hear his voice through the speakers on the other side of the wall.
“I found some hard candy,” Nancy said as she returned.
Scarlet took the candy and stood.
“Maybe you should sit a little while longer, Scarlet. You don’t look too steady,” Calvin advised.
Of course she wasn’t steady. He was here in her school. Wandering to the entrance that separated the auditorium from the gym, she cracked the door a smidge.
“There are apps for all those things. If you have a science project and need to clock the rotation of the planets, all you have to do is download…”
Unbelievable.
It was him. She was certain of it. It was either him or she was having a complete psychological break and needed to take some time off.
Without thinking, she slowly pushed through the door and drifted into the auditorium. Teachers stood in the aisle beside their classes and watched the stage aptly as—What was his name?—Asher Roan took them on an in-depth journey of technology.
Awareness slammed into her with incredible force. A.R. He signed every single one of his letters with those initials. Breath sawed in and out of her lungs as she stared at him with unblinking eyes. This was not a coincidence. Slowly, she walked down the center aisle, appearing to be nothing more than a teacher acting as an usher.
He was young. Her age. Well, duh, he graduated with her. O
h my God, he knew me! Every thought was an epiphany, violating a new level of privacy and raking over her senses like irons over a bed of hot coals.
Every incident of their past flashed before her eyes. The times he’d surprised her at work with flowers… Of course he knew where she’d worked, they’d gone there as children together. Why didn’t she remember him?
Her chest lifted as she slowly ghosted up the aisle, closer to the stage. He was handsome. Her deep hatred and hurt did nothing to diminish his natural appeal. His shoulders were broad and his posture assertive. Mr. Stone.
Her insides tickled and she worried she might get sick or possibly pass out again. Mr. Stone was the owner of GeekPeek? Mr. Stone was someone from her childhood? Mr. Stone was standing right in front of her. Maybe she should sit down. Her hands and feet were starting to tingle again.
She stopped only about twenty feet from the stage, her eyes drilling into his. Shock made blinking unnecessary.
“So you’ll see,” he said, directing his finger over the tablet, which showed its screen on the overhead. “With this application you can not only—” His eyes met hers and his words halted. Didn’t he realize she’d recognize his voice? “You can not only…” he continued, but seemed to struggle with his statement. He blinked and pulled at the collar of his shirt, a show of nervousness she never imagined the impenetrable Mr. Stone to express. “…not only…”
Speak up, you pretentious son of a bitch. Go on, tell them what you can do, all the incredible talents you have.
Under the narrow silk of his tie she noted the steady rise and fall of his chest. What was he thinking? Did he do this on purpose? Had he even read her grant proposal or was this just another game? He had no business coming into her school and speaking to her students with any other motive than to give these kids what they worked so hard to earn.