His face took on a haunted look that tore at me.
I punished him like I have never punished another. I changed that day, became someone to fear that day. So I made my choice as to what I would do when I found you a long time ago, and the rest….
He shrugged.
The rest is simply detail. I grow stronger every day. It s my nature to be this monstrous thing Nyal abandoned to the whims of the world.
When Lord Nyal gave you up to the humans,
Breandan said quietly,
he thought it was best you were with your own kind. You are not like our people, you could not stay at the Wyld a vivid and constant reminder of the pain Lady Sorcha had caused.
Breandan sighed heavily.
When we mate it is for life. Adultery is punishable by death. The Lady Sorcha did not face her fate, she ran, and Rae was lost to them. The Tribe grieved. To keep you at the Wyld would have stirred too much trouble, and too much strife had already been endured. No child should be exposed to the hatred you would have suffered had you remained. It was supposed to be a kindness.
How is abandoning a child to those who would loathe it kindness?
Cael sneered.
I am not like you, you say. Look at me. I do not look human. I don t think or feel like a human does, and it makes it hard to live among them. It was not kindness that was done me, but wickedness born of jealousy. Even if I could forgive Nyal, my suffering would have been eased had my Elder claimed me when his father died. Instead he ignored me in favor of a full-blooded babe that was for all purposes lost to him, nothing but a ghost of a memory.
Cael spoke the unadorned truth. That much was clear from the way his whole body shuddered with emotion. The worst thing was I knew exactly what he described. I too had lived as a human under the Sect. I knew what it was like to feel alone and like you didn t belong. I knew what it was like to have people look at you or treat you oddly because they couldn t figure out why you felt alien to them. I knew the pain of wondering why your family had simply tossed you away without a second thought.
What was the difference between Cael and I?
I had only lived a score of years. Conall had found me, claimed me, and professed his love for me. I had been embraced, accepted, and sought after. I had been showered with affection and love since people had learnt I still lived. Even those who would hurt me still spoke to me as an equal and still craved my attention.
Cael?
A vampire had secured him when he was young and treated like property. When he finally discovered who he was, the family he desperately craved had searched for another and shunned him. He was hunted, cursed, and struck at, and those who knew of him wanted him dead. Who did he have to love him? All Cael had known was the care of a witch, a woman who used black magic to take what she wanted.
Had my circumstances been his, could I pretend I would be any different?
Grimacing, Breandan looked somewhat ashamed of what had happened.
Conall holds great guilt over how you have been treated. He never knew that you suffered so greatly.
Cael shook his head bitterly, fists clenching.
He didn t bother to look, and what would you know of it?
I was born long after the bitterness of Sorcha and Nyal s mating, but as Wyld Guardian it was my purpose to ensure order. When it became clear the vampires were not the driving force behind the Rupture the previous guardian made it his duty to discover what was. I have continued this charge, and I know that even now Conall would right this wrong if you d let him.
Tentative, I placed a hand on Cael s forearm.
Our Elder
He is not my Elder!
Cael s face darkened as he battled with his own inner turmoil.
I held my palms up.
Okay, I mean, fine. Conall has been in as much pain as we have. Can you not see that?
I waved my hands around.
We re all trapped in this web our parents spun. We don t have to stick to it, we can go our own way and be free.
I will never be free of this.
I snorted.
Of course you will. I ll help
Cael grabbed my arms and jerked me to him. His grip was brutish and was meant to hurt me. I could see he d snapped, abruptly and violently. I d grown too much at ease and forgotten my brother was a dangerous force, unpredictable.
I will never be free of this. I will have my revenge, even if it means burning down those Wylds you all treasure so much to rid me of you all.
His eyes landed on my amulets. Their weight became abruptly heavy, and I resisted the urge to cover them with my hand.
I finally have what I need.
Breandan s anger was instant. His nature flared, and his protective instincts kicked in. The power of the bond swelled and rage heated my blood.
Release her,
Breandan growled.
Back off,
Cael snapped.
He waved a hand, and Breandan was knocked down the slope. The force of the impact was powerful enough to punch the silence with a horrible thump.
Cael shook me roughly.
You think words will stop me seeking my revenge? You think telling me to
get over it
will stop me exacting justice to those who deserve it?
Unable to help myself, my eyes rolled off to the side. Breandan struggled to stand. Cael flicked his wrist, and Breandan slammed back down, magics pressing him down until the earth shifted.
Stop,
I whispered.
He hasn t hurt you. Those who deserve your anger are dust. They re gone, we are their legacy,
I looked Cael in the eyes,
and you are the worst of it.
The blood drained from his face, his eyes wide and startled.
Wasp ran to Breandan s side and tried to help him fight Cael s spell, but the fairy had no magic of her own, and wasn t getting far.
Go,
I yelled to her.
Warn the Tribe.
I didn t get a chance to see if she obeyed.
Cael hit me, the back of his hand connecting with my cheek. The knock was hard enough to have my sight blackening for several moments.
My eyes opened, and I was sprawled across the floor. I didn t remember falling. Pain lanced through my skull and I grunted. I staggered up, the dull throb on my face off-putting.
Defensive magics welled in my fingertips, ready to ward off any further blows.
Cael was nonchalant. His anger receded behind a veneer of calm.
I didn t want to hit you, I dislike doing so.
He frowned.
Our time together has ended. Give me the amulets. Then leave.
Breathless, I could not keep the incredulity from my expression.
No,
I blurted, flabbergasted he would strike me then ask me to hand them over as if he were asking for a favor.
You ll have to kill me before I give them to you.
He huffed a sigh.
So dramatic, so tiresome, I don t have time for games.
His voice deepened, and he curled his fingers in the air.
Sleep now.
The strangest feeling washed over me. I shook it off and found myself swaying on the spot. I could not blink without my eyes becoming heavier with each motion. My arms and legs felt leaden, my body a dreadfully heavy thing I could not manage.
Cael caught me as I crumpled and set me gently on the ground.
I m sorry to have to do this, but if it keeps you out of my way &.
A tearing noise registered before the pain. My right wing burned before stabbing pains radiated down my pinion to the middle of my back. He d sliced my wing.
I was too tired to scream and managed a scared whimper.
Hush, hush, that s it, softly, softly. I see you ve been tortured, and that s not my plan. I doubt it would accomplish anything looking at how far they pushed you. You will sleep, and when you wake it will be over. Sleep now.
Cael removed the leath
er cord from around my neck the amulets.
The last thing I heard was Cael taunting Breandan for his failure. The last thing I felt was pain down the bond as he took his spite out on my fairy.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Consciousness is a tricky thing. When you re weighed down, it s hard to grasp it and hold on. Many times my eyes opened to stare lifelessly before shuttering closed again.
I knew I needed to wake up, but I was so very tired, and it was so blessedly easy to sink back down into the darkness. What did it matter if I never woke? I d failed. Again. Cael had the amulets and no doubt he was already on his way to take the grimoire from my friends and family.
The same friends and family that had cast me out thinking me too dangerous to keep around.
I burrowed deeper into the darkness, the agony of the truth too much. Much to my dismay, my pitiful attempt to hide was soon thwarted.
I woke with a start.
My arms and legs tingled from being asleep so long, but a deep frustration is what woke me up. I was hungry too, not a sensation I will ever come to enjoy having, and was one of the things I regretted about the awakening of my fairy nature.
Anyway, this keen sense of helplessness that bordered on wildness was akin to someone repeatedly jabbing me in the ribcage.
I jammed the heel of my palm in my eyes, I rubbed vigorously, and yawned until my jaw cracked.
My groggy mind filled with images, and my body went on high alert, swamped with the dread I d felt before I had fallen into my deep slumber. These feelings didn t run rampant for too long since I was distracted by Breandan s nuzzling of my neck. The warmth this caused contrasted horribly with the tumult of emotion my encounter with Cael had left me with. Breandan s arm curled around my middle moved so his hand splayed over my stomach. He turned me over onto my back and kissed me soundly before I could think to ask what had happened.
I turned my head away, determined to say something, but he beat me to it.
As much as I love watching you sleep and pressing sweet kisses to your face,
he said.
I much prefer this.
He crushed his mouth to mine. Ah, what the hell. I energetically embraced him back, planting my arms on his shoulders to pull him closer. I was thoroughly involved, but picked up on that desperate urgency.
When he broke away to kiss my neck, I tugged on his pointed ear.
Nice try, but it won t work so you can stop now.
He stilled. I could almost hear the cogs turning in his mind. With a soft groan, he dropped his forehead to my chest. Rolling my eyes, I prodded his back until he shifted down. On his stomach, he settled himself between my knees and scowled at my navel.
I used the time to subtly look him over for any serious injury.
His plan had been a daft yet noble one. Distract me so I didn t ask after Cael, and didn t demand we head back to the Wyld to help fight his attack.
My wings were spread out behind me, and I was grateful for the lack of pain. The searing agony of Cael tearing it was burned into my memory, and I wouldn t have liked to wake to the damage. However, this alone implied I had been asleep for some time, and, I sensed though Breandan had thought up a scheme to distract me that we were not far from Wyld land.
I smoothed a fingertip over the ear I d yanked.
That went wrong fast didn t it?
His scowl turned into a murderous glare, and I sensed of some the anger he hid from the bond.
It could have been worse,
he ground out.
We could be dead.
Oooh. Yup, he was majorly pissed.
Lucky us,
I grumbled.
We are never going back to that city,
Breandan said flatly.
Ever.
I laughed weakly. I had no reason to protest that command. I leaned up and tentatively flexed my wing. Ah, a small ache but the pain wasn t all that bad.
I healed. How long have I been asleep?
Three days.
Bloody hell. Only a spell would have made me sleep that long. I swallowed hard thinking of all that could have happened in that time.
Cael?
Breandan sighed.
He has the amulets, and he reached the Wyld last night.
Terror gripped me. The emotion was intense and near choking me.
With the Nest?
And his Coven.
That sounds ominous.
I exhaled, the reality of the horror creeping over me in breathtaking clarity.
How bad?
From his answers so far, I knew Breandan had scouted closer to the Wyld. I also knew that he had done so in preparation of my waking, just like he had taken the time to carry me back here as I slept off Cael s spell.
I cannot get too close. The witches would sense my magic, and so would my brother. From what I ve seen & there are many still alive and still fighting. The witches attack during the day and the vampires at night. It s a very effective campaign. Something only a lunatic would think up. I will never understand why madness lends its possessor such cunning.
I sucked in a breath, struggling for the same outward calm as him. I briefly hesitated before voicing my next question,
Do you think they ll win without us?
My brother is a good battle lord. His instincts are matchless, and he has been preparing for an attack for many months. From what I can see, he fares well enough.
His puzzled tone had me nervous.
That s a good thing, isn t it?
Yes.
When it became clear no further insight into his thoughts was forthcoming, I glowered at him, and made a and motion with my hands.
Then why do you sound so worried?
He paused and scrubbed a hand across his scalp, no longer hiding the confusion from his expression.
Cael holds a power unlike anything I have ever seen. My magical and fighting skill pales in comparison to his, so I do not understand &.
I picked up on his train of thought.
How Lochlann and the others are doing so well? Maybe their combined strength is enough?
Breandan eased back and rested his wrists on his knees, motioning with his hands.
Though fairy Knights are skilled they are few and far between. We are a peaceful people, and few of those Knights become warriors like Conall and Lochlann. The ability to channel the Source is even rarer.
You ve explained to me before that magical ability that advanced is rare. But they also have Ana, Daphne s fighting skill, not to mention the shifters
Cael brought an entire Nest of vampires and his Coven.
Uhuh. They re powerful enough to be a real challenge to us,
I said slowly, catching up to where his thoughts led.
So why did Cael need to come himself?
Exactly. At first, I thought the grimoire lead him here, but up until now, Cael has been happy to let others do his killing for him. You may not have noticed, though your brother is quite insane, he does not kill on a whim. Oh, he lashes out in anger and makes those who displease him feel pain, but I have yet to see one person die by his hand.
He smiled oddly.
He reminds me of you.
I gaped at him.
I m not a killer.
I know, Rae-love. That wasn t what I meant.
Disgruntled, I let that one go.
What your saying in the roundabout way you do, is that his actions are out of character,
I simplified.
For no apparent reason. Oh!
My mind finally made it to the same place he was.
So I guess the question is why? What is he looking for down here that s made him change the way he does things?
Breandan shook his head.
Not looking, he s already found it. He even knows it s exact location since he sent the humans in to discover it for him. He s come to use it.
The grimoire.
No. He could have sent his people for that, and I believe he did when the humans attacked us.
He had to come here. He has my brother fighting the vampires and witches, but I think it s nothing but one of his distractions.
Understanding dawned on me.
He needed to come to the Wyld, he physically needed to be here.
I slapped a palm to my forehead.
Sacred ground, a place of power.
The thought of Cael being this close to so much untapped raw magic sent large doses of panic to my heart.
It thudded so hard I feared permanent damage.
I could scarcely believe Cael would take his insanity so far, but after talking to him and seeing how steeped in his self-pity he was, I suppose it wasn t that much of a stretch to believe he would be self-indulgent enough to destroy an entire Wyld because he had mother issues. I d always thought I had a little too much selfishness in me, but Cael won for biggest narcissist hands down. We all had issues, I had tons, but I didn t go around destroying peoples homes, and massacring thousands of people. The amount of rage it would take to keep up such a single-minded pursuit of revenge was exhausting just to think about. Worse, it was completely misplaced.