“Sorry,” she said softly as he hung up. And though it pained her to even think her next words, she forced herself to say them. “We don’t have to do this.”
“I know we don’t. But we’re going to. If he’s going to strike out at people close to you, then for all we know, I’m already on his radar whether I want to be or not.” He paused for a long moment. “Or whether I even deserve to be.”
Starla refused to address all the complexities of that sentiment. “What a nightmare.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll all work out.”
“Is your ex mad at you?”
“Confused, more like it. And I really didn’t want to explain so as not to upset her. Are we going to the hospital?”
That was a swift change of subject. She didn’t know if she could face it. But everyone else was there; she should be too. “You don’t have to. We can go back to your place and I can take my car.”
Jared shook his head as he pulled away from the curb. “I’d rather go with you.”
“You do realize Macy and Ghost will be there.”
“If you can handle this, then I can handle them.”
She was actually more worried about Ghost handling Jared than the other way around. But Ghost needed to get over any lingering is-his-dick-bigger-than-mine issues. Starla wanted to think that surely he wouldn’t start any drama at the hospital bedside of his best friend in the world, but trauma had a way of boiling things to the surface, didn’t it? Even though she’d had a fairly restful sleep at Jared’s despite the nightmares, her world was no less raw and turbulent and confusing than when she’d laid her head down. Than when she’d found Brian bleeding on the asphalt. She felt stripped, exposed, as if every feeling she’d ever had for Brian was inked across her chest and any one of the people at his side might point at her and start screaming, blaming her for the brutal attempt on his life.
There were no more tears to cry, though, she realized with some relief. That was good, at least.
As the hospital came into view up ahead, nausea bloomed in Starla’s stomach. All day she’d been pushing the images from her head of Brian hooked up to machines and fighting for his life. All at once, they swamped her, and she put a hand to her mouth as her heart surged into her throat.
“Hey,” Jared said gently, noticing her sudden distress. He reached over to take her other hand lying on the bench seat. “You don’t have to do this, you know. We’ll go back home right now.”
Home. His home, not hers. She took a deep breath to force the panic down. “No. I have to do this. Everyone expects me to be there. They’ll wonder why I’m not. They probably already do.”
“You don’t have anything to prove, Star.”
“It’s not about that.”
“And you don’t have to punish yourself.”
“Yes, I do.” She jerked her hand from his, because she didn’t deserve the comfort. She didn’t deserve the warmth of his skin or the safety he brought her.
“Hey.” The truck lurched to a stop right in the middle of the parking lot, and he slammed the gearshift in Park before turning to face her fully. “You listen to me. I don’t want to hear that shit coming from you. Go in there and hold your head up. Be strong for your friend. Be a comfort to his wife. It’s a shitty deal all the way around, but the most important thing right now is him, not you beating yourself up over this. We’ll go back home if you want, like I said. But if you’re going to go in there, then go, and own your right to be at his side. Because you didn’t do this to him. You saved him.”
Swallowing against the dryness in her throat, she nodded. “I know. I know. It’s just hard.”
“You wouldn’t be human if it weren’t. Do you want me with you?”
She did, oh fuck, how she did. And she shouldn’t give a shit how it looked to anyone. “I do.”
“Then I’m with you.” With those devastatingly simple words, he straightened and put the truck in Drive as a horn blast erupted from behind them. They shared a smirk and a chuckle, but hers came more from a place of amazement at the way things happened. Who would’ve thought a few weeks ago that she would confide her deepest, darkest secret to someone who was damn near a complete stranger, someone who took a chance on a lonely girl walking along a dirt road? And that she would be living with him?
Crazy. It made her look forward to the near future with equal parts dread and curiosity. Where would they be tomorrow? A month from now?
All she wanted was for things to go back the way they were. If only she hadn’t gotten in the car with Max that night. If only she hadn’t gone out with him in the first place. If only, if only.
Starla knew she wasn’t alone in her hatred for hospitals. She’d never had reason to be admitted into one herself, and except for ailing grandparents, rarely had cause to visit one. Her friends were young and strong and healthy. They weren’t supposed to be here. It smelled like sickness and despair. Jared was a rock beside her, though. Without even thinking about it, she curled her fingers around his and, realizing what she’d done, sucked in a quick breath at how natural the movement had seemed. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
Ghost was absolutely going to flip his shit.
But Jared didn’t let go of her hand, not when they got on the elevator, and not when they got off and approached the ICU waiting room. He remained silent walking beside her.
And, as luck would have it, Macy was the first person they saw as they entered the waiting room.
Any other time, Starla might have noticed the way Macy’s eyes nearly fell out of her head when she saw them together and felt no small hint of satisfaction. But sitting beside her, looking as if she wanted to bolt from the room, the building, the earth itself, was Candace. And she was all that mattered right now, she and Brian.
With her blonde hair half falling from a bun and her oversize knit cardigan hanging off her shoulders, Candace looked a mess, but an adorable one. Even though they’d seen each other only a few hours ago, she stood and raced into Starla’s arms as soon as she saw them, and even had a hug for Jared. Starla was surprised for a moment, but then she guessed that as Candace’s best friend’s former boyfriend of several years, Jared was no stranger to her.
Macy had gotten to her feet and stood awkwardly off to the side, fingers clenched around the shoulder strap of her expensive-looking purse. Ghost was nowhere to be seen; he might be with Brian. They were only letting a few visitors in at a time.
“Any change?” Starla asked Candace once she stepped back.
She shook her head and wiped under both eyes, then pulled her sweater tighter around her. “He’s stable, but he’s still sedated.”
“Do you need anything?” Jared asked.
“Just for him to get better. Mom has Lyr, but Macy’s going to pick him up and keep him for a little while to give her a break.” Candace glanced back at her friend. Macy took the invitation to approach, smiling tightly.
“You’re letting Ghost around an infant?” Starla joked, then immediately wished she hadn’t. The last thing she wanted to do was get Jared started. But she didn’t think he had looked at Macy once, and now that she had walked over to them, he seemed exceptionally busy reading the visitation rules sign across the room.
“It’ll be good for him,” Macy said. As always, the lithe, leggy brunette was impeccably put together, a far cry from her ink-wearing, bald, smart-mouthed boyfriend. She was diamonds and designers when she wasn’t outdoorsy rodeo queen. Ghost was heavy metal and muscle cars. It was a union that would never make sense.
“I’ll pick him up around eight,” Candace said to Macy.
“Are you sure? He can stay the night with me if you need to be here.”
“No, he’ll have you up every couple of hours.”
“I don’t mind, Candace. You need sleep.” God, it was the truth. Candace looked as if she had aged ten years overnight. The skin under her weary, red-rimmed blue eyes was bruised. A newborn made for sleepless nights anyway, and now this had happened. The girl was o
n the verge of collapse, physically and emotionally, and she was between a rock and a hard place. Her own family was all but useless to her and Brian’s was as distraught as she was. Starla had seen the entirety of the Ross clan last night—Brian’s sister, Gabby, and her husband, Ian, had driven in from Dallas, arriving in the middle of the night. Just before dawn, his older brother and sister-in-law, Evan and Kelsey, had made it to the hospital after a long drive from Austin. Their collective grief and horror had been part of the reason Starla had to flee. And his poor parents…
Starla wanted to offer help. She wanted to do something. But she didn’t know shit about babies, and she was staying in a house that wasn’t hers, so she kept her mouth shut.
“At least let me stay with you, or both of you come stay with us,” Macy was saying. “I’ll handle baby duty while you rest. It’s fine. We’re here for you. Let us be.”
It was only cause for Candace’s eyes to fill up with tears again. “I can’t sleep without him next to me.”
While Starla fought her own waterworks, Macy only put a hand on Candace’s arm and said, “You have to, hon. You have to eat too. Let’s both go pick up Lyric, right now. Okay? I’ll feed you. You don’t need to be by yourself, and they’ve already told you that he won’t be waking up anytime soon.”
It would be good for Candace to get away for a bit. Yet Starla couldn’t help but wonder if Macy just wanted to escape Jared’s presence as soon as humanly possible.
“If something happens—”
“It won’t,” Macy and Jared said at the same time. Jesus, their minds even worked the same. At last, they shared a glance and an uneasy chuckle. The hallway doors opened, and Ghost walked in, followed by Evan and Ian. If Ghost was surprised or pissed or otherwise affected by Jared’s presence, he had the decency not to show it. But he took up his place beside his girlfriend, and he took it up fast, sliding an arm around her slim shoulders and hugging her to his side. Evan and Ian, both grim-faced, gave solemn greetings and headed out together, probably in search of coffee that didn’t resemble tar. It was the only thing that had been keeping any of them going.
“I was telling her she needs to come with us,” Macy said, looking up at Ghost. “We can pick up the baby and keep him while she gets some rest.”
“Cool.” With his other arm, he pulled Candace in close and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “’Cuz there’s nothing more tiring than waiting around this fuckin’ place. Come with us, and I bet you’ll feel a hundred percent better. Or at least sixty-five or something. He ain’t going anywhere, doll. He’s a hardheaded bastard.”
“I need to see him again before I go.” Candace looked hopefully at Starla. “Want to come with me?”
It was the last thing on earth she wanted, but it was what she’d come here for.
Starla nodded, and it was only then, when Jared gave her hand another reassuring squeeze, that she realized he had never once let it go. Even when faced with his beloved ex, he hadn’t pulled away or acted nonchalant. He’d stood at her side, so close she could feel him; she could draw strength from his nearness. But now, he let her walk that glaringly white and sterile mile to Brian’s room with Candace, after assuring her he’d be waiting whenever she was ready to leave. Telling her to take her time. He was willing to sit in that room with Ghost and Macy for however long it took—but maybe they would be merciful and go elsewhere.
“Wow,” Candace said quietly as they walked, still keeping her cardigan pulled tight as if she were freezing. “So…that’s happening?”
Starla was a long time answering. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happening.”
“You deserve someone nice.”
It was so fucking enormous in its simplicity that she almost laughed, but she was afraid she might burst out crying. Did she really deserve that? Or did she deserve exactly what she kept getting? Candace didn’t realize her husband was lying in a hospital bed because of Starla’s feelings for him. “Sometimes I wonder.”
Brian’s mother was with him—she’d hardly left her youngest child’s side. Now she stood by his bed, stroking his thick black hair. Mrs. Ross smiled weakly at the girls as they entered, the exhaustion plain on her lovely face. Her hair hung dark and limp. Starla had only been around her a handful of times, but the woman rivaled Macy in always appearing immaculate. Not so now. “He looks better,” she said in her Italian accent. Sometimes, when Brian was mad or animatedly telling a story, he had the barest hint of it himself. Most people who didn’t know his ancestry probably wouldn’t even notice. “His color’s come back.”
It was true. Last night, he’d been ghastly, and simply looking at him had scared the shit out of all of them. Now, if not for the tubes running into his arm and his nostrils, he could’ve been taking a nap. Starla couldn’t look away from him as the other two women talked quietly. The machines beeped a steady, patient rhythm. His chest rose and fell on its own, slow and strong. She let her gaze roam along his colorful ink patterns, feeling her bottom lip tremble. Come on, Brian, she thought. So many people here love you. She wished he would sit up and argue with them, tell them all to get the fuck out of his room and go to work; he was embarrassed to be seen flat on his back this way. Except Candace—he would want her here. He’d face any number of adversities as long as she was at his side. That was as it should be.
Maybe he was going to be okay. He just needed to sleep, to heal, and he would come back to them. He would come back to Candace and Lyric where he belonged.
As much as she loved them all, Starla would have to make sure she wasn’t around to see it.
Chapter Eighteen
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Jared’s words dropped like heavy stones in a still pond as Macy and Ghost both looked back at him. They had just turned toward the exit doors as Candace and Starla disappeared in the direction of Brian’s room.
“Me?” Ghost asked, seeing Jared was staring him straight in the eye.
“Yeah.”
Macy gave Jared an uncertain glance, one elegant eyebrow raised. “I’ll go wait in the car,” she said to her boyfriend. Then she looked up at him and murmured what sounded like “Be nice.” He smirked at her before she turned to go. Both men watched her until she disappeared through the doors, then Ghost went on alert. Jared could see it in the way his entire body tensed, the way he crossed his heavily inked arms, going on guard.
“So. What could you possibly have to say to me?”
Jared barely refrained from telling him to settle down before he popped a vein, but that might have gotten things off to a sour start. “Tell me what you know about this Max guy.”
Surprise briefly registered on Ghost’s face, but he covered it quickly. Starla must have only told the police her suspicions and no one else. “Starla’s Max? He’s an unbalanced head-fucked asshole. That’s what I know.”
“Starla’s convinced he attacked Brian.”
“It’s not beyond the realm of possibility. But Brian has no shortage of enemies, and I never really considered Max one of them. Hell, you can look at Candace’s family alone and find any number of people who would love for Brian to be out of her life.”
But Ghost didn’t know what Jared knew, and that was only Starla’s secret to tell. He didn’t want to betray her trust in any way, but the thought of this prick striking out at others within her circle… “Enough to try to kill him? Would Candace’s family deprive a new mother—someone they supposedly love—of the father of her child? Seems excessive.”
Ghost shrugged. “I don’t know, man, I’m just saying. They hate him enough to try to ruin him. Enough to completely trash his business a couple of years back. We had her brother to thank for that. Now Brian nearly gets whacked in the parking lot? Smells rotten to me.”
“Yeah, maybe.” A little too rotten. Though it would be nice to know Starla didn’t need this guilt she was carrying around. Still, he was reluctant to believe it. “It seems too angry. Too malicious to be something like that.”
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“It might seem that way, but whoever it was, the dickhole was too chickenshit to stick around and finish the job. If Max wanted someone dead, fucker’d probably be dead. That dude’s crazy.”
“Maybe something happened and he got scared.”
“Brian’s right hook happened. His knuckles are cut and bruised. He got a good hit in before he went down.”
Good for Brian. “Do you know where Max lives? It’d be interesting to see if he has a busted lip or a black eye.”
“I don’t know where he lives.” He gave Jared a long stare with dark, suspicious eyes. “What, you looking to do some detective work? Why the fuck would you bother?”
“If it’s Max and he’s targeting people close to Starla…be careful, all right? Make sure Macy’s careful too.”
Just like that, those suspicious eyes went cold. “Ah, so it all comes clear,” Ghost said. “Macy’s covered, don’t you worry.”
“I’m not trying to start trouble with you.”
“See that you don’t.”
“But you shouldn’t have trouble with me being concerned for a friend. I’ve known Macy since we were kids.”
“You think I don’t realize that?”
“All of you should be on your guard. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Duly noted.”
Jared supposed it was a start. At least he’d planted the seed. But seconds ticked by and Ghost wasn’t going anywhere. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, staring at the door through which Candace and Starla had left. “That’s my best friend lying in there,” he said at last. “My brother. Someone tried to kill him, and I want to know why.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“And you’re right. If Starla feels that strongly about this, it’s worth looking into. Any leads are better than none. Shouldn’t be too hard to find Max.”