I turned to see Nat staring at me, confusion in her eyes. “Everything okay?”
“It’s perfect.” I gave her my best fake smile and tugged her to me. “It’s fine because I have you.”
The need built up within me again. The need to forget all the shit and just lose myself in her. Numb myself to the hell that was my life.
My fingers moved to the hem of her shirt. I kissed her hard on the mouth and lifted the shirt effortlessly over her head.
“Oh, so it’s going to be like that?” she said breathlessly.
“Exactly.” I lifted her into my arms and walked her into the room, leaving the sliding glass door open. A cool breeze teased her bare skin as I laid her across the bed. “Like this.” I ran the back of my hand down her arm and watched as her eyes dilated and closed.
“I love the way you touch me.” She sighed happily.
I knelt on the bed and hovered over her. “And how do I touch you?”
“Like you’re afraid I’ll disappear if you don’t.”
She was more accurate than I would have liked. I nipped her lips with my teeth and moved my hands down to brace her hips. She was absolutely glowing. I swear the longer I spent with her the more beautiful she became to me. Nat tilted her head. “What are you doing?”
“Memorizing,” I said simply.
“The size of my hips?” She swatted my hands away. “Not romantic.”
I rolled my eyes and placed my hands back on her hips. “Not the size. And you’re perfect, by the way, so stop glaring at me. If you must know, I was memorizing the way your body fit so perfectly into my hands. Your curves, your skin. It’s like everything was made just for me.”
“It was,” Nat whispered.
Speechless. I could only stare at the beautiful girl in front of me. I was the luckiest bastard in the world. I had a girl who loved me more than life itself, who gave me everything she had and more, and here I was… stripping her of her clothes and possessing her with my guilt.
“What’s wrong?” Her hand touched my cheek while her other hand moved under my shirt, trying to bring it over my head. Chuckling, I pushed her hand away and took it off. “Hmm, that’s more like it.” She beamed.
“Nat?” I licked my lips and moved from my position hovering over her so I could just hold her. Though I wanted nothing more than to have sex and forget about the entire night, I needed answers.
The hard part about hiding everything from Nat was that somehow she had turned into my best friend, not just my girlfriend. When I had an issue or wanted to talk about something, I went to her. And now I couldn’t. It was bad enough that I couldn’t talk to Demetri or Jaymeson, but now I couldn’t even talk to the one person in the world I knew had the wisdom to help get me through this.
“How many times do you think a person can mess up before the damage is irrevocable?” I tucked her body into mine and placed my hands across her flat stomach and dipped my fingers into the front of her jeans, mindlessly playing with the fabric while I waited for her answer.
Her soft sigh didn’t make me feel any better. “I don’t know, Alec, I think it depends on the person and the situation.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m going to use you as an example, so don’t get mad. But when everything went down our senior year with Demetri, he was hurt and mad because he felt like history was repeating itself. I mean, in a way he was betrayed by you twice. The first time you did it you were being an ass. The second time was because you were being a protective ass.”
“Right.” My hands tensed against her skin.
“I know you would never do anything like that again, because you have me and you know I’m a crack shot with my pistol. But… I think if you would have kept on with that same behavior, there would have come a point where Demetri would have just walked away.”
“He can’t.” I choked and then cleared my throat. “I could never lose him.”
Nat turned around in my arms and cupped my face with her left hand. “Alec, you won’t. Why are you so worried all of a sudden?”
I opened my mouth to tell her everything, but no sound came out. Nothing. I stared blankly at her while her searching eyes examined my face with curiosity.
“I think I’m done talking.” Yup. I was a bastard. I devoured her mouth and rolled on top of her, stripping her of her bra in the process. “Yeah.” I looked down at her half-naked form. “Definitely done talking.”
****
We stayed in bed for a few hours before Nat ordered room service. It was already nearing midnight when my phone rang again. I was in the bathroom, so I let it go to voicemail. Or so I thought.
“Hello?” Nat’s voice may as well have been a nail in my coffin. I quickly burst out of the bathroom to find her sitting on the bed, my phone in hand, talking. My heart slammed in my chest as she bit her thumbnail and tilted her head to the side. “I’m not sure. I’ll ask him.”
“Alec?” Nat looked in my direction. “Jaymeson’s mom wants to know where you guys keep your ibuprofen.”
Sighing in relief, I held out my hand for the phone but Nat waved me off as if to say, Oh, its fine. I’ll talk to her. Shit. “Um, Nat, we don’t really keep any pills of any kind in the Seaside house, even ibuprofen.”
“Oh, I forgot. Right.” Nat nodded and spoke into the phone. “Yeah, they don’t have any, but there’s a corner store about a quarter of a mile down the street or you could just knock on my parents’ door. I’m sure they’re home.”
Freaking hell. That’s just what I needed.
I held out my hand for the phone, but Nat waved me off again and said goodbye, handing me the phone once she hit end.
“She wanted ibuprofen?” I turned away so she wouldn’t see my scared shitless face.
“I guess. She sounded surprised that I answered, but then again she may have been thrown off because it was your phone, and yeah, I don’t know.”
“That’s probably it.” I licked my lips and made a mental note to put my phone on silent from here on out.
“What do you want to do?” Nat came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my stomach.
I laughed. “You mean other than lay naked with my girlfriend all hours of the day and night?”
“Horny bastard.” Nat slapped me on the ass and released me. “Besides I want to see whales! Remember?”
“How could I forget?” I teased. “You’ve only withheld massages for the past four hours until I book the whale-watching trip.”
Nat bounced onto the bed and looked at me eagerly. Her bright brown eyes dancing with excitement.
“I’ll call—”
“Yay!”
“—if…” I held up my hand. “You give me a ten minute massage.”
“Eight minutes.”
“Eight and a half.”
“Deal.” She held out her hand. I decided to tackle her against the bed instead. “What are you doing?” Nat laughed and pushed against my heavy body as I smothered her.
“Sealing it with a kiss,” I said innocently as I kissed both cheeks, her forehead, and her nose.
She opened her mouth to speak but I didn’t let her. My lips covered hers. She tasted so warm and inviting, and I was shaken up again after April’s call.
I removed Nat’s bathrobe.
“Oh my gosh! I have to eat, hydrate! Seriously!” She pushed against me, but I was like this possessed insane man. The minute my hands touched her naked skin it was like I couldn’t control anything but the need I had to brand her with my touch.
So I took her. Again.
Until I could forget about the phone call and April for the second time that night.
Chapter Twenty-two
Demetri
“He’s not answering his phone. Are you sure there’s not something I can help you with?” You know, other than slamming the door in your face? It’s freaking six in the morning. Do I look like a rooster?
“Uh… No.” April blushed a bright red. “I don??
?t like to be a bother to either of you. I only had his number from when he gave me the key.”
“Oh right.” I nodded. “Well let me give you mine, okay?”
April stared at me oddly before pulling out her phone and punching the numbers in. “Got it.”
“Cool.” I nodded my head, hoping she’d get the hint that all I wanted to do that early in the morning was go to a very dark place where pillows and blankets would wrap around my body. Or Alyssa. That would work too.
“You, um…” April laughed and shoved her hands in her pockets. “You look really grown up.”
What the hell? Did she just call me old? “I uh…”I scratched my head. “Thanks you look… nice.” Wow, well done. What did she expect? Had I mentioned it was six am?
“Bye, Demetri.” April looked at me twice over her shoulder before getting into her rental car and driving off.
“Who the hell rings the doorbell at six A.M?” came Jaymeson’s voice from behind me. I couldn’t very well say your insane mother, so I just shrugged.
“Go back to bed.”
“Don’t want to,” Jaymeson grumbled, his voice low and scratchy. “The girl I brought home last night got clingy.”
“Clingy? And what the hell, Jaymeson? Weren’t you saying you were over it yesterday?”
Grinning, he shrugged. “Weak moment, and yeah, she’s all over me.”
“She’s awake?” I sat on the barstool and put my head in my hands.
“Hell, no. She’s still sleeping.”
I jerked my head up. “Huh? Then how the hell is she all over you?”
“I watched her—”
“Please tell me this conversation is going to get less creepy soon.”
“Shut up.” Jaymeson threw a Cheerio at my head. “Girls. They get this weird look when they sleep. Her eyebrows are all furrowed, and her lips are in this tight line and I swear to you her eyes are like rolling behind her eyelids.” He shuddered and threw a handful of Cheerios in his mouth. “I swear to you the only thing she’s dreaming about right now is how to trap me into marriage.” Shaking his head a few times he banged the table with his fist. “And that, my friend, will never happen. Seriously. I already feel smothered.”
I stared at him blankly.
“What?” He shrugged.
“Nothing.” I leaned back in my chair. “I’m still trying to decide if you’re a genius or insane.”
“And?”
“Jury’s still out.” I saluted him and pushed away from the table. “And I need more sleep.”
“Damn. I thought I could convince you to go surfing this morning.”
“And get eaten by a seagull? Or better yet, have one poke my eyes out? No, thanks.”
Jaymeson let out a bark of laughter. “Seagulls don’t attack people.”
“Um, tell that to the website that has a recorded three thousand eight hundred and two seagull attacks to date!”
Jaymeson was silent and then, “You made that up.”
I flipped him off and walked up the stairs shouting, “Who cares! It’s probably true somewhere!”
I tried to quietly creep into Alyssa’s room. The camera crew for the morning shift was usually too lazy to follow us around the house. Most of them were either out getting coffee or taking a breakfast break, meaning I could go jump into her bed without her parents murdering me for compromising her on national television.
The wood floor creaked just as I made it to her bed. Damn, but my girlfriend was beautiful. Seriously. And now I was the creepy one because I was seriously happy to watch her sleep. I reached out and touched her cheek with my hand and sighed.
Alyssa’s eyes flickered open just as she jerked back into the bed and swore. “What the hell, Demetri! I was sleeping!”
“I know.” I gently pushed her farther across the bed and crawled in. “But I thought we could have a morning slumber party.”
“You piece of crap. You just want me to rub your head while you go to sleep and I stay awake staring at the ceiling!” Alyssa turned away from me, but I grabbed her and tucked her into my body.
“Not true! I just want to hold you.”
“Right.”
“And I mean, if you wanted to rub my head or my back or something, I wouldn’t complain…”
“Slut.”
“Whore.”
“You woke me up.”
I grinned. “That I did.”
“You know I can’t go back to sleep once woken up.”
I kissed the top of her head. “I’m well aware of that fact, which is why I was so quiet upon entering your room. Notice that I only hit two of the squeaky parts of the floor, not all six.”
Alyssa turned to face me, her eyes still barely open and her lips all flush. “Notice how you were staring at me like some creepy homicidal killer that belongs on one of those crime shows.”
“Hey!” I dug my hands into her mop of dark hair and massaged her skull. “No fair. Besides, I was staring at you because you’re really pretty.”
“One point for you this morning.”
I sighed happily and kissed her forehead, then threw my leg over hers so she was trapped with me in bed.
“Are we going to talk about it, Demetri?” Alyssa’s head was against my chest so her voice was muffled.
“About you and Alec and why the hell he’s acting different? Ten days ago you were freaking out about what he may or may not do, and now you won’t even talk to me about it.”
I swallowed and played with a piece of her hair. Did things always have to be so complicated? “All I know is that I hope whatever’s bothering him, he can get it out before he and Nat get back here. If anyone can help him it’s Nat.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely. I mean, it’s like they’re already married. She’ll fix him.” I had to hope she would; otherwise, I just wasn’t sure I could handle any more bombs getting dropped on our happy little lives. Not after all the shit we’d already been through. I just wanted to be done.
****
We all sat around the dinner table that night with Ruben and the rest of the production crew. He called the meeting to order and took a sip of his soda. “Alright, kids…” I groaned, why did he call us kids? “This week’s theme is…”
“Please let it be sleep,” I interrupted.
“Sex?” Jaymeson grinned shamelessly while Alyssa punched him. Angelica was staring at the ground like it was going to suddenly open up and swallow her.
Ruben looked around at all our eager faces. “The past.”
“Son of a bitch.” Was the man trying to kill me?
“How is that a theme?” Alyssa asked.
Ruben nodded happily to Alyssa. “Great question!”
I rolled my eyes. “Shoot me now.”
Ignoring my outburst, Ruben took a seat. “Not only does your past define your future, but it makes you seem more real to your fans. They want to know what you were like growing up. Did you play any sports? When was your first kiss? You know, that type of stuff. So we’ll have a series of confessionals this week where the producers will ask you questions, but you’ll also be getting to know the rest of the cast and their pasts through a series of games and activities.”
“Yay,” I said dryly.
Jaymeson raised his hand. “Yeah, um, Ruben?”
“What?”
“I was in a tragic accident when I was…” His finger went into the air as if he was doing math. “Like seventeen, so I don’t remember anything from my childhood.”
“Interesting.” Ruben folded his arms. “That makes sense. I mean, I never believed that rumor that you could have slept with that many Hollywood starlets at the ripe old age of sixteen.”
Jaymeson grunted. “Believe it.”
Ruben glared. “What? No memory loss?”
“Well-played, damn it.” Jaymeson sulked, leaning his elbows against the table.
“As I was saying…” Ruben smirked. “If you were a closet cross-dresser when you were ten—”
&n
bsp; “What the hell?” I snapped. “At ten? Kind of early…”
Ruben folded his arms across his chest and continued. “If you kissed a girl and she punched you when you were four, or you have some sort of weird toenail fetish — it’s all gonna come out this week. Be prepared. There will be a fishbowl for each of you in the middle of the room with questions. Each day you’ll be asked to retrieve one from the bowl and answer it for your cast members. Remember, this is supposed to be fun.”
“Is that why it feels like hell?” I asked aloud.
Ruben didn’t answer. Instead he placed the fishbowls on the counter, full of white pieces of paper. Each fishbowl had a name on it. “Who’s going to go first?”
“We have to start now?” Jaymeson whined.
“Yup,” Ruben said.
“I’ll go.” Alyssa popped up from her seat and retrieved a piece of paper from her bowl.
Ruben nodded. “Go ahead, read it aloud.”
Alyssa’s face paled. She looked to me and then back at the paper. Her voice shook as she read the question. “Who did you lose in a tragic car accident when you were sixteen, and was it your fault?”
I jumped out of my chair and ripped the paper out of her hands. “Hell, no. She doesn’t have to answer that.”
Ruben smirked. “Her contract says she does.”
I clenched my fists at my sides. “You piece of shit.”
Ruben narrowed his gaze on Alyssa. “We’re waiting.”
I grabbed her hand for support and nodded to her. Before answering, she turned her brilliant blue eyes to me. A smile broke out on her face. She didn’t look at Ruben or anyone else in the room — no, she looked at me, only me.
“My first boyfriend died when I was sixteen. It was an accident. Nobody’s fault really. And it’s taken me a long time to be able to realize that sometimes accidents happen—”
“Great,” Ruben interrupted.
“I’m not done,” Alyssa snapped, returning her attention to me. “After rain there’s always a rainbow, right?” She reached out and touched my face. Her fingers grazed my cheek and then my chin, then she brought my head slowly to hers and kissed my lips. “If Brady was the rain… then Demetri was my rainbow.”