“Hey!” I said, fluffing up my hair. “I might be a little disheveled, but ‘hag’ is a bit harsh—”
“Sorry, love, it’s just a term the boys tell me is all the rage. Can you grab the rope ladder? I haven’t yet learned how to master the art of turning into a bat.”
“Dark Ones don’t turn into bats,” I scoffed, and retrieved a bit of rope that poked out behind the water heater. It turned out to be a somewhat motley rope and wood ladder. “At least I don’t think they do. What are you guys doing down there?”
It took a good five minutes before I got the answer, because first everyone climbed up, but then one man realized he’d left his phone below, then another wanted to grab some of the champagne just in case they got thirsty, and finally, Ellis had to go back to retrieve his shirt, which he said he’d taken off in order to keep it from getting stained.
It was then that I realized I’d met one of the vampires before.
“Spiky Pink!” I said, astonished when the vampire turned out to be the one who had dropped off Merrick.
He wrinkled his nose at me. “Eh? Do you have a problem with my hair?”
“Not at all. I know you!”
“I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure—”
“You don’t remember me? I saw you when you left Merrick off at C. J. Dante’s castle.”
For a moment, the man looked terrified. “Shite! That was you?”
“Yes, but don’t worry, I’m not going to tell your boss that you were merciful instead of killing Merrick. Far from it, I’m very grateful you did so.”
He looked faintly embarrassed. “I just didn’t like to kill one of my own, you know? And Giovanni would have done so had he not been called back to Carlo. As it is, I had to lie and tell them he overpowered me when they found out he was still alive. It was a close thing for a few minutes, let me tell you. I’m sorry, I’m babbling, aren’t I? It’s just that Ellis says you’re a good un, and that you would never give us away.”
“Never,” I said. “I’m glad you didn’t get in any trouble over Merrick.”
Spiky looked mollified. “I won’t say Carlo is happy with me, but that’s why when he demanded I turn your friend, I made no protest. And I don’t think Ellis minds terribly that I did so, do you?”
“It certainly doesn’t seem like he does. In fact, he looks very happy.”
By the time I herded the six men upstairs, my brain and ears were buzzing with their constant chatter, jokes, teasing, dramatic explanations, and occasional bits of song lyrics.
“I’m so glad to see you,” Ellis said once we had taken over the kitchen of the villa, the door to the old lady’s room remaining firmly shut. The other vamps were milling around, poking into drawers and opening cupboards. One of them found a huge pair of shears, and immediately announced his intention to give himself a pair of booty shorts. “I thought I was a goner once you bailed out, and then of course, Armande turned me, and that was high drama, let me tell you! You do not know the value of your bladder muscles until you have a vampire chomping down on you.”
“I’ve been chomped on several times and not had any bladder issues,” I said smugly.
“Yes, but you’re a girl. You have superior bladder parts.”
“What I don’t understand,” I said, idly watching the others as they all stripped out of their jeans in order to make shorts, “is why Carlo wanted you to be a vamp. What does that do other than make you allergic to garlic and burn up in sunlight? Is that his way of punishing you?”
“Don’t you know? I suppose you don’t, although I’d think that vampire you’ve been doing the sheet tango with might have told you. Your dear cousin Carlo and that dead-eyed henchman of his are building a vampire empire.”
“A what?”
“Just what I said. The boys here are hired out to attend parties. Special parties for only the very rich.”
“You have got to be kidding me.” I stared at him in disbelief.
“It’s god’s honest truth, I swear! Armande’s team—that’s him there with the pink hair—gets sent to super-exclusive parties of the rich and wannabe famous, and then they feed off everyone. Armande says the people get their jollies off of being with a real vampire, and the boys get fed, and your cousin rakes in the cash.”
“Who in their right mind would want a vampire to feed off—” I thought of what it was like when I was feeding Merrick, and stopped speaking.
“That’s right,” Ellis said, nodding, and flashing a grin at Armande. “When I say the mortals get their jollies, I mean they get their jollies.”
“I don’t know whether to point out that’s awfully close to prostitution, or to just let it go because it’s none of my business.”
“Do the latter. It’s much easier on your blood pressure,” he advised.
“We do not like that part, being intimate with the mortals.” Armande paused when passing us. “We want to have a dance troupe, you know? All male dancers.” He did a couple of pelvic thrusts and a triple spin. “Like the Chimpendales.”
“Chippendales, darling,” Ellis corrected, and applauded when Armande did a split jump. “Such lovely thighs you have. I think a dance troupe is much nicer than having to service all those dreary mortals with their vampire obsessions.”
“You were a mortal yourself half a day ago,” I pointed out.
“And life is so much better now,” he said, blowing me a kiss.
Armande had been doing a few more pirouettes before saying, “Yes, the dance troupe will be good. We have practiced many routines during our years working for Carlo, and all we need are a few costumes, and then we will be megastars! If we can get Carlo to agree to it, which I know he will not do. Jon-Marie! What are you thinking? You cut out the heart over your left butt cheek, not your right cheek.”
I shook my head when Armande bustled off across the room to fix whatever fashion faux pas one of the other vamps was about to make. “It’s kind of hard getting to grips with the idea that your own cousin spends his days pimping out vampires. I wonder if Merrick knows the sexy stuff goes on.”
“Oh, Carlo doesn’t just send the boys to parties,” Ellis said, shaking his head when one of the men offered him the scissors. “Armande, tell Tempest what you told me about the research groups.”
“It is true. Carlo and Giovanni take the vampires who refuse to cooperate, and auction them to labs.” Armande frowned as one of the others paraded by in a very short pair of cutoffs.
“What sort of labs?” I asked, torn between suspicion and fear.
“Ones where they research the ways of the Dark Ones, naturally,” Armande said with a shrug. “It is why we, in general, do as Carlo says. We do not want to be sent to the labs. Instead, we go to parties and pretend to make love to the mortals, and they let us drink their blood.”
I forestalled any comments about the morality of such a thing and focused on what was important. “Where does Carlo send the other vampires to?”
“No clue. I only know they round them up every month or so and sell them to the highest bidder.”
I looked at Ellis. He cocked an eyebrow at me.
“I think we need to talk to Merrick,” I said after a moment’s thought, and despite doubting it would do any good, sent out a mental call. Hello, Tempest calling Merrick, Tempest calling Merrick. Come in, Merrick.
There was no answer from him, not even the feeling of him touching my mind.
“I must be out of range. Text it is.”
To: Merrick
I just found Ellis. He’s OK.
Three minutes later I received the response:
From: Merrick
Good. Go back to Nice. I’ll meet you there once we’ve got your cousin.
To: Merrick
I have a lot to tell you about what he’s doing. Ellis, not Carlo.
From: Merrick
Tell me later. We’ve followed Carlo to a villa, and Han is about to break through the security system.
“Troubles?” Ellis asked when
I made a face at the phone.
“Not really. Merrick is in Rome busy breaking through Carlo’s security so they can storm his villa, which means he’s incommunicado right now. The big poop. You’d think he’d want to hear your news, since it is all about Carlo and what he’s doing.”
Ellis stilled for a few seconds before taking my arm in a grip that was borderline painful. “Say that again.”
“Say what? That Merrick is a poop? I suppose that’s unfair, but he is the sort of man who likes to protect people rather than keep them informed—”
“No, the part about him being in Rome and breaking into a villa. What villa?”
“I don’t know, and you’re going to leave bruises if you keep squeezing my arm like that.”
Ellis clicked his tongue, but released me, turning to call across the room to Armande, “What was the name of the villa where Carlo sells the vampires to the vivisectionists?”
“Villa Luna,” Armande answered without even glancing toward us.
Ellis turned back to me.
“On it,” I said, my blood suddenly sporting little icebergs of pure dread.
To: Merrick
What’s the name of the villa you’re at?
From: Merrick
I told you that I’d talk to you later. We’re going in.
To: Merrick
WHAT’S THE NAME?
From: Merrick
Villa Luna. I’m turning my phone off now. I’ll call you when we have him.
“Jumping giant green frogs and all their little tadpoles.” I lifted eyes that I knew were filled with fear to Ellis. “He turned off his phone.”
“He’s there?” Ellis asked, his normally sunny expression somber.
I nodded.
“God help him.”
“Maybe they’ll be OK. If it’s just Carlo and Giovanni, the three vampires should be able to take them.”
Ellis stared at me, his expression turning to horror.
I gasped as a thought occurred to me, and turned to where the other vampires were putting final touches on their cutoffs. “Armande! You said Carlo auctions off the vampires. Where do they do that?”
“Usually in Rome,” he answered, pointing to a spot one of the others had missed trimming. “No, no, François, not that short. Your balls are hanging out now. No one wants to see hairy balls. If you shaved them like I told you, then it would be acceptable. But as it is?” Armande tsked. “Deplorable.”
An iron hand seemed to grip my insides, squeezing everything until I wanted to scream with frustration. “They walked right into it, Ellis,” I said in a hoarse whisper. “They’re walking into some horrible vampire auction, and Carlo will capture them, three of the Horsemen, and will sell them to the highest bidder. If they don’t kill them outright.”
“Lordisa, I hate to agree, but ...” Ellis’s Adam’s apple bobbed a couple of times. “We should think positive. Perhaps they know what goes on there, and they’ll be cautious.”
“They don’t, or they would have said something. Sweet, glorious grape juice, they’re sitting ducks!” I swayed for a few seconds, seriously thinking of swooning, but just then Kelso bumped my hand with his wet nose.
I patted his head, and strength returned to me, strength and the determination to do whatever it took to save Merrick. “No one touches my vampire and lives to tell about it!” I swore, then lifted my chin and said loudly, “Vampires, assemble! We have to get our butts to Rome and fast. I have a hunky man to save, and you guys are going to help me do it!”
Chapter Sixteen
“I’d just like to know,” I said in an undertone to Ellis while we were on the outskirts of Rome, riding to Villa Luna, “why Merrick felt it was OK to lie to me about the portals.”
“Oooh, he lied? Interesting,” Ellis said, eyeing me, his voice also lowered so that the taxi driver wouldn’t hear us. “Do we think the honeymoon is over already? Has the bloom gone off the rose so quickly? Is it your blue coochie that drove him away?”
I poked him with an elbow. “No to all of those, and there’s nothing blue down there anymore, as you well know since you helped me pick off all the lint.”
“What did Vamp Boy lie about, then?”
I patted Kelso, who had his nose out of the window and was snuffling like crazy. “He said portals wouldn’t take animals, and the shop we went to said that only applied to animals being sent solo, and so long as I was holding tight to Kelso, he’d be fine. And he is. And while we’re on the subject, jumping beans, was that portal neat. I wish I’d known about that before, because I’d have put that right at the top of my bucket list.”
“It certainly was interesting. Have you tried your walkie-talkie again?” Ellis asked.
“Huh? Oh. I’ll try it again, although he didn’t answer when I tried at the portal shop.” Merrick, I know we’re not super near each other, but I’m twenty minutes away, and surely that’s close enough for you to hear me.
Silence was my only answer.
Dammit, don’t shut me out like this! I’m so worried about you that my stomach is all wadded up into a little ball, and I think I may throw up. Please, just say hi, just one word to let me know you’re OK.
“Well?” Ellis asked.
“Nada,” I said with a sigh, worry clamping down tight on me until I felt like I couldn’t draw a proper breath. “What if he’s ...”
“Armande assures me that it’s hard to kill us. Us being vampires, that is.” Ellis patted my knee. “If the boyfriend is protective, maybe he’s just not answering in order to keep you from fretting.”
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to feel Merrick’s presence. There was nothing. It was as if I was on the edge of a deep abyss filled with a complete absence of Merrick.
Armande, who was sitting in the front with the taxi driver, turned around to say, “What are we going to do when we get to Carlo’s villa? It’s fine for you to say that we’re going to fight Carlo, but we have no weapons. We have nothing we can use to fight him or the dreadful Giovanni. We are dancers, not soldiers.”
“You’re vampires,” I told him, trying to sound like I had confidence in them. In myself. “You’re immortal. You drink people’s blood. You can ... er ... I’m not sure what else you can do, because Merrick is kind of reticent to tell me that sort of stuff, and Dante doesn’t mention anything like that.” I glanced at Ellis. “Do you have other powers?”
“You’re asking entirely the wrong person, darling,” he answered, shaking his head. “I’m just the comic relief in this scene. A dashing and urbane comic relief, but one nonetheless. I do like a plan, though, so let’s figure out what we’re going to do once we get to the villa.”
The rest of the journey was spent arguing over whether it would be better to go in with (metaphoric) guns blazing, or if a stealthy attack would be best. In the end, we decided on a three-pronged approach.
“Think of yourselves as bloodthirsty pirates,” I said in a little motivational speech when we were deposited at the villa. “Imagine yourself about to pillage a rich vessel, a dagger clutched between your teeth, and your trusty scimitar at your side.”
“But we don’t have any weapons,” said one of the dancers (the one whose testicles were still visibly noticeable through his booty shorts).
I averted my eyes from his nether bits, and gave them all an encouraging look. “Pick up whatever you can find outside the house, and use it to your advantage. Be creative! Be resourceful! But above all, take down those auction dudes.”
“Yar!” one of the men shouted, and although we had to immediately hush any further such noises, I promised them all they could yell as loudly as they liked when the actual attack took place.
“I know some karate,” Ellis offered. “I used to do it after school so that I could keep from being beat up by all the homophobes. I must have watched Karate Kid at least a hundred times back then. Do you remember, Tempest?”
“I remember you swanning around in a white outfit whenever you got a new belt, but th
at’s about it,” I admitted.
He tried to look modest. “I went all the way up to a brown belt before my mother took me out of the class.”
“Good. You and Armande can attack from the side opposite our dancing pirates.”
We synchronized our watches, and scattered.
“Hello,” I said a minute later when the front door of the villa was opened. It wasn’t a huge house, smaller than Merrick’s, but I could see the turquoise glint of a swimming pool behind it, and a stepped yard that dropped down to reveal a view of Rome in the distance. Huge, deep fuchsia bougainvillea lined a crazy tile walkway up to the door, filling the air with its heavy honeysuckle scent, while the villa itself rose with cream stone magnificence three stories above my head.
The man who answered the door was short, stocky, and had the sort of cauliflower ears that made me think he spent a lot of time in a boxing ring. “Who are you?” he asked, suspicion fairly dripping from every pore.
“I’m Tempest, and this is Kelso. I’m here to ask if you’ve seen my boyfriend. Well, fiancé, really, although he hasn’t asked me, but I’m not going to shack up with him without being married, because I think marriage shows a certain level of commitment, don’t you? Besides, getting married is number twelve on my bucket list, and if there’s anything I’m serious about, it’s crossing things off my bucket list.”
Cauliflower Ears stared at me like I was a two-headed blue whale, then started to close the door. Praying that the other two prongs were doing their things, I pushed my way past the man before he could shut me out.
“Did I mention that Carlo is my cousin? No? Well, he is. COUSIN CARLO!” I bellowed the last few words while taking a few steps into a foyer that had beautiful mosaic tile on the floor. “I thought you’d be worried about me, so here I am!”
To the left, double doors were flung open and Giovanni appeared, his dead, flat eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?” he asked, shifting to block me when I tried to peer around him. Kelso growled, distracting Giovanni for a moment.
“Oh, I think we both know what I’m doing here, so you can just tell me where Merrick and his friends are, and we’ll be on our way.” Merrick? You here? I know you must be, because I can feel something warm in my brain, and that can only be you, so you might as well answer me.