But Ty had too much psychological training to go to a psychiatrist and not say just what needed to be said. He had to be tricked into it. And until just recently, Zane had to be pushed with a cattle prod to even get him into the doctor’s office.
“I don’t want to know what Ty talks to you about,” Burns assured him softly. “Just tell me,” he continued sympathetically, “is he still—”
“Sane?” Deuce provided flatly.
Burns sighed loudly. “Is he?”
“I’ve never seen him like he was up there on the mountain, Dick,” Deuce confided. “But then, I’ve never seen him at work, so that could just be how he handles the stress of nearly being killed all the time. Hard to say. In my professional opinion, he’s nuttier than squirrel shit,” he claimed. Burns laughed before he could stop himself. That was what all the Bureau shrinks thought too. “But as his brother, I’d say he’s as sane as he’s ever been,” Deuce continued confidently. “I’m not certain how many more of your little special cases he can go on and remain that way, though,” he added disapprovingly.
Burs pursed his lips and scowled. “I don’t want to know how you know about those cases,” he grumbled. “When he’s done he’ll tell me,” he stated in a voice that said that line of conversation was done. “Do they function as a team?” Burns asked slowly. “That’s all I want to know, Deacon. Can I, in good conscience, keep them together and expect them both to live through it?”
Deuce was silent. Burns could hear him tapping a pen on a pad of paper as he mulled over the question. “I think,” Deuce drew out hesitantly, “‘function’ is perhaps too strong a word.”
Burns closed his eyes and placed a hand over his forehead, feeling his heart sink.
“My brother would take a bullet for his partner,” Deuce added assuredly. “I mean, we know that from experience. The thing is, it wouldn’t matter who his partner was. He just thinks that’s part of his job. And his goal in life is to do his job well.”
Burns nodded silently. Anyone who knew Ty even a little bit knew that much. He had always been driven toward something no one else could see, and he still was. It seemed like the man felt his purpose in life had always been to die for a cause. He had been trying to get himself killed ever since he could walk.
Burns could count on one hand the number of times Ty Grady had told him “no” in the past six or seven years. He was always ready, always willing, and always more than capable of doing whatever Burns needed. It was one reason he was so valuable. And one reason he scared the ever-loving bejeezus out of Burns.
“The real interesting thing, though, is that Zane Garrett would do the same for Ty,” Deuce concluded.
Burns raised his head and stared at the phone. “Really?” he asked in unconcealed surprise.
Deuce laughed softly. “I believe so, yes. As a unit, they are largely uncooperative, unorganized, antagonistic toward each other, stubborn when problems arise, and they conceal their weaknesses from each other and sometimes from themselves. But somehow, it works for them. They trust each other. They’re fiercely loyal to each other, as well. When there’s an outside force working against them, they pull it together in one way or another and defend one another. Viciously, if need be. Zane Garrett stood up to my father, Dick. More than once.” He paused to allow that information to sink in and then continued. “In my professional opinion, they aren’t fit to be partnered with anyone but each other,” he said wryly. “They’d drive anyone else crazy.”
Burns sagged his shoulders in relief, sitting back in his leather chair with a sigh. He hadn’t even wanted to consider the nightmare of trying to find Grady and Garrett new partners. They would’ve had to have both gone solo, and that meant undercover for Ty and a desk for Zane. Neither of which would end well.
“The only issue I can see arising in the future is… personal,” Deuce said in a careful voice.
“How do you mean?” Burns asked with a frown.
“I still can’t tell if they like each other or not,” Deuce answered with a small laugh.
Burns smiled slightly. “Well. We’ll just have to see, I suppose. Thank you, Deacon,” he murmured. “I owe you one.”
“Yes, sir, you do,” Deuce assured him. He ended the call before Burns could respond.
After a long moment’s consideration, Burns reached to press the intercom button on his desk. “Get me Ty Grady on the phone, please,” he requested of his secretary.
“Um, sir?” she responded uncertainly. “He’s here.”
“What?” Burns asked in surprise.
“Special Agent Grady is sitting out here, waiting to see you,” she said with a hint of suspicion in her voice.
“He’s waiting?” Burns asked in disbelief. Ty had never sat out there patiently and waited to be seen. “Send him in,” he requested, alarmed. He stood as Ty was shown into the office.
“You look better than I thought you would,” he told the younger man as soon as the door was closed.
Ty gave him a game smile and moved to take a seat across from Burns. Burns slowly sat down again.
“When I started with the Bureau,” Ty said without further small talk, “you told me there were three situations where I could quit your… personal missions,” he said haltingly.
Burns nodded slowly, a hint of worry forming. “If you ever got married, had a child, or felt you were physically or mentally incapable of performing,” he listed off in slight trepidation.
Ty nodded. He looked determined, and Burns wondered how much time Ty had taken to work up the nerve to have this conversation. “Sir, I’m not getting married,” he said. “And I’m not a father. And I can honestly say that I do believe I’m still capable, physically and mentally,” he said firmly. “But I would like to request a temporary break to the assignments, nonetheless,” he said in a voice that was confident, if a little sad.
Burns could see clearly that Ty had anguished over this decision. His heart went out to the kid, and he wondered what had happened to precipitate this sort of decision. Was it what had happened on the mountain or had this been a long time in coming? Either way, Ty had lasted longer than Burns had ever expected.
He found himself nodding. “Care to share the reason?” he asked. Ty blinked at him, the only change to his expression as he sat stiffly in the seat across from Burns. Burns cocked his head sympathetically. “Would you tell me as a friend, rather than your boss?” he asked softly.
Ty lowered his head, linking his fingers together. “It’s nothing… bad,” he assured Burns finally. “There’re just some things I need to take care of—personal things—before I give any more of my time,” he explained, looking up to meet Burns’ eyes from under lowered brows.
Burns found himself nodding again, realizing that he’d grant any request Ty made right now. He looked determined, if nothing else, and Burns wondered what could have finally found a place in Ty’s life that he put ahead of his job. Burns would never have thought it possible. He hoped Ty wasn’t lying to him and that it really was something good, rather than something that had happened on that mountain.
“Thank you, sir,” Ty murmured as he stood again.
Burns stood with him, coming around the desk to walk him to the door. “Ty,” Burns said worriedly as he reached out and took Ty’s shoulder to stop him. “I heard about what happened,” he said with a deep frown.
Ty nodded, meeting Burns’ eyes apprehensively. “Dad told you?” he asked.
“He did. You did well, son,” Burns told him sincerely. “You made us both proud.” Ty merely nodded again, swallowing hard and turning away. “He told me what he said to you up there,” Burns told him unflinchingly.
Ty froze, his fingers gripping the handle of the door until his knuckles turned white. He turned slightly, his head still bowed. He looked as if he might want to say something, but Burns realized with an ache deep in his chest that Ty wasn’t capable of speaking as he tried to regain control of his emotions. Ty and Deuce were the sons he’d never had, and it p
ained him to see one of them struggling like this.
“You’re no coward, Beaumont, and your daddy knows that better than anyone,” Burns told him softly. Ty bowed his head and closed his eyes. Burns fought the impulse to pull him into a hug.
“Sticks and stones, sir,” Ty finally managed to respond. He raised his head again, nodding at Burns. While he looked resigned, he actually smiled before turning and leaving the office. “But words will never hurt me,” he recited in a singsong voice as he walked away.
Burns stood in the office door, watching him go with a small smile. Ty was truly a resilient man. He enjoyed life too much to let anything get him down for long.
Burns remembered suddenly that he hadn’t told Ty about the reassignment he had for them. Ty would be ecstatic to hear that Zane Garrett was already settling into a new Baltimore apartment and that the Gummi worms he’d hidden in his old desk in the Baltimore field office had been located and cleared out in anticipation of his return.
“Grady,” Burns called, gesturing for Ty to come back. He smiled widely, causing Ty to raise an eyebrow warily as he stopped in the doorway that led out of the front office. “I almost forgot. I have some good news,” he said, gesturing him to return and slapping him on the back as he directed him to sit back down.
STACKING another empty box off to the side of the couch, Zane looked around at his progress. Not that he had all that much to unpack—he’d gotten rid of more stuff over the past few years than he’d acquired. So it was mostly books, not knickknacks or pictures. It wasn’t cozy or decorated, but it was home now.
His new apartment in Baltimore was a ground level walk-up with a back door, which he liked. He always liked back doors. There was enough room out on the back porch for a small grill too, and he thought he might enjoy doing something that mundane for a change.
Zane hummed slightly and slid the last of the books onto the shelf, and his fingers lingered on the volume of Edgar Allen Poe stories before he headed to the kitchen for a drink.
A knock at the front door stopped him. Frowning, Zane turned to look at the door before glancing at his gun where it lay on the table with his wallet. A look at the clock confirmed it was the middle of the afternoon. He’d hate to pull a gun on somebody welcoming him to the neighborhood, so he went to the door without the weapon and pulled it open.
Ty stood on the top step, his head cocked slightly and a small smile on his lips. “Nice neighborhood,” he offered.
“Hey,” Zane said in surprise. He hadn’t seen Ty in almost two weeks, though they’d talked on the phone a few times. He’d missed seeing Ty, more than he thought he should.
Ty merely gave him a smug smile. “Can I come in?” he asked.
“Of course,” Zane said, stepping back and leading the way into the apartment. It wasn’t a big one. A decent-sized front room with a couch, coffee table, and TV was separated from the kitchen by a bar, and a doorway to the right opened to a small hallway that was just big enough for four more doors: two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a closet. A washer and dryer were in a closet by the back door. It was more than he needed.
Ty looked around the living room as he walked into the apartment. He slid his hand into his jeans and shrugged uncomfortably as he turned and faced Zane again, giving him an uncharacteristically nervous smile.
“How are you feeling?” Zane asked, looking him up and down. Despite the slight show of nerves, Ty looked pretty good, actually: clean-shaven, color back, not so worn out, mostly relaxed, though not totally. The only time Zane had seen Ty totally relaxed was after he fucked him into the mattress. It had been a while.
“Better,” Ty answered with a nod. “No longer dying,” he added with a small smirk. The quirk to his lips fell, though, and he raised his chin slightly as he looked at Zane. “I need to talk to you,” he stated, his voice calm, but his posture screaming he was dreading the coming conversation, whatever it was about. Zane wondered if Ty realized how much he showed his partner through his expressions and body language. He suspected not.
The apprehension was catching, apparently, because Zane felt it tighten around his chest. “Well. Sounds like a reason for a smoke break,” he said, gesturing to the door at the far side of the kitchen. Ty nodded, not even offering a disapproving word about the cigarettes. He followed Zane out, glancing around at the bits and pieces Zane had unpacked as they went.
Zane stopped outside the screen door and picked up the pack he’d left sitting out on the railing. He shook it, sliding the lighter out, and lit up as Ty joined him. He looked over his partner’s face, trying to see some sort of clue about what he had to say.
Ty was looking out over the backyard, his lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes worried. He looked around and then sat down on the top step with a heavy sigh. “I had some time to do some thinking,” he said after a moment of silence.
“Deuce kept Mara distracted, hmm?” Zane tapped ash off into an ashtray he’d left on the wooden porch railing.
“The shovel did, actually,” Ty answered as he looked up at Zane and smiled fondly. Zane grinned and chuckled as he watched the smile light up Ty’s eyes. It got him in the gut, and he took another drag off the cigarette to combat the feeling. Now wasn’t the time. Ty continued to look up at him, watching him hesitantly as if trying to gauge his mood. Finally, he dropped his eyes. “I know what I’m about to say probably isn’t what you want to hear, and I’m sorry. But I need to say it, regardless,” he said apologetically.
Sighing softly, Zane sat heavily beside his partner. It didn’t sound good, what Ty was hinting at. They sat side-by-side silently for a moment, Zane still with his cigarette, both hesitant to continue the conversation.
Finally, Ty cleared his throat. “I don’t know how else to say it, Zane, so I’ll just come out with it,” he said quickly as he raised his head and looked at Zane with a stubborn set to his jaw. “Despite the desk work and the near-death experiences and the bullshit in the mountains….” He took a deep breath and blew it out heavily. “The last couple months have been some good ones, and it’s solely because of you,” he told Zane slowly.
Zane raised one brow, surprised. But before he could think of anything to say, Ty shook his head.
“I like being able to wake up to you. I like knowing you’ll be there if I need you,” he continued, obviously uncomfortable with what he was saying but refusing to be deterred now that he’d begun. “I like being with you, Zane. And I’d like to keep that up now that you’re here,” he admitted shakily. He met Zane’s eyes determinedly. “I want you.”
Stunned, Zane found that all he could do was sit there. Despite how they’d gotten closer, some things were just unspoken; he wouldn’t have imagined hearing this sort of thing from Ty again. The last time had been when they were reunited in DC—more than two months ago—and that had been during a seriously emotional outburst on both their parts. That certainly wasn’t common. And the slow but steady drift apart afterward had made that memory, that warmth and knowledge, fade. But here Ty was, saying it again.
As for himself, he’d said as much to Deuce up on that mountain. He’d wanted Ty since the first time Ty had met his eyes evenly and given him a soft smile. When Zane allowed himself to think about it, he had to admit that he was a hell of a sucker for the man. The realization had hit him right between the eyes before he left West Virginia. But he tried not to think about it—tried not to think about more—because it was far too close to feelings that terrified him, deeper feelings he knew could cause so much pain when things went bad. Deuce had been right. Feeling too much was what Zane was afraid of. But wanting….
Ty nodded at Zane’s silence, light color spreading across his cheekbones as he looked down again. “I just wanted you to know,” he said quietly.
He stood up and reached out to affectionately pet Zane on the head as he walked by, heading back into the apartment. Zane reached out to grab his wrist and he stood. His gut clenched with delight. Hell, there had never been any question that he wanted Ty. Su
rely Ty knew that without Zane having to say it.
“I’m on board with that,” he declared.
Ty blinked at him, his fingers curling around Zane’s hand as Zane held his wrist tightly. “Really?” he asked in honest surprise.
Zane smiled warmly. “Really. I want you here, with me,” he assured him. “I’m glad you’re home,” he added softly.
Ty actually managed to blush further, and he swatted at Zane’s head as he backed away. Zane grinned as he reached out and caught Ty again around the waist.
“Rumor has it we’re being put back into fieldwork next week,” Ty told him as he let himself be dragged back close to Zane.
“We’ve got to be safer there,” Zane responded wryly as he pressed his forehead to Ty’s and brushed his nose against Ty’s cheek.
Ty laughed, the sound rich and honest and carefree. True to form, all the problems and hangups and issues that had been thrown at them had already slid right off his back, and the Ty Grady Zane knew so well was here with him again, alive and well, and they were together. Now Zane had every reason he needed to get himself straightened out.
No way was he going to fuck it up.
Check out this exclusive sneak peek at the sequel to Sticks & Stones
FISH & CHIPS
By Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
THEY sat at McCoy’s conference table, behaving themselves and attempting to appear abashed.
Ty figured Dan McCoy knew him better that that, though. He was probably still getting a read on Zane, though, just like everyone else in the Baltimore office. They’d only been actively assigned to Baltimore for a few weeks now. Ty was at home. Zane was still an unknown to most everyone, despite the stories that had filtered through about their past escapades.