When Mom turned the gas on in the apartment and when I was being dragged to the guillotine at Triankha Hospital. “I owe him a debt. Maybe this is how I can repay that debt.”
Kutz took a drag on her cigarette and blew out a long plume of smoke. Then she stabbed it out on the railing, twirling the butt between her fingers. “You know,” she said, her tone suddenly changing. She was staring out over the grasslands. “I don’t care to hear your excuses.”
It’s not excuses, that’s how I really feel. Wataru was going to protest, but something in Kutz’s voice made him hold back.
“I won’t ask if you’re scared of being sacrificed. I don’t care if you’re fine leaving Kee Keema and Meena to mourn, or if you’re happy not meeting the Goddess. You came here to Vision to change your fate. If you become the sacrifice, you won’t be able to do that. I won’t stand here and ask you if you’re okay with that.”
Her words were strong and she spoke with no hesitation. “You left your mother in the real world when you came here. You won’t ever be able to see her again. Right now, she’s worried to death, and she’ll never know what happened to you. She’ll wait for you and waste the rest of her life in loneliness. But I won’t ask how you can stand to do such a thing to your mother.”
You are asking. Pain stabbed at Wataru’s heart.
“You’re a smart kid. Brave too.” Kutz praised him in angry tones. “That’s why I’m sure you’ll have a suitable answer no matter what I ask. I’m sure your answers will be satisfactory. After all, you’ve had plenty of time to convince yourself. You’ve had lots of practice.”
Wataru was silent. He felt like she was expecting him to say something, but he couldn’t find anything worth saying.
Darkness slid over dusk, and the brightness in the sky gave way to the deepening violet of night. Whereas moments before the only light in the sky had been the Blood Star, now other stars appeared around it.
Her back to the starry sky, Kutz faced Wataru and looked him straight in the eye. “There is one question I would have your answer to.”
Wataru swallowed and took a step back.
“Are you just going to let Mitsuru go?”
“Let him go?”
“Are you just going to let him get away with this?”
Wataru blinked, uncomprehending. “What do you mean? What is he getting away with?”
“What isn’t he getting away with!” Kutz slapped the railing with the palm of one hand. “Think about it. What has he done? What is he doing? At Triankha Hospital, in Sono, he used his magic to kill dozens, maybe hundreds of people. The port town of Sono lies in shambles because of him. What do you think about that?”
Wataru was flustered. It felt like the carefully laid pieces of armor he had put over his heart were coming undone. “B-but…”
“But what?”
“At Triankha—he had to do that. He was up against those fanatics. If he hadn’t struck back, they would’ve killed him, and neither of us would’ve been able to get out of the magic barrier they created.” And… and… Wataru’s mind raced, looking for more excuses. “He’s done good things too. Like in Maquiba. He used his magic to put out a wildfire there. If the fire had been left to burn, the whole town would have been ruined.”
But then Wataru remembered how Mitsuru had turned down the Precept-King of Dela Rubesi’s request. He simply didn’t have time, he said. Yet he did find the fugitive—not to capture him but to use him to cross to the north.
“If he’s such a powerful magician, then I’m sure he could have found more subtle means to achieve his ends. If he wanted to, I’m sure he could have found a way without hurting and killing people from Vision and destroying our towns. Why didn’t he?”
Wataru took a step back. Kutz pressed on. “Let me answer for you. It’s because this Mitsuru kid doesn’t care a lick about Vision. As long as he reaches the Tower of Destiny and meets the Goddess, he’s happy to leave and never look back. I doubt he’d ever set foot in our world again. That’s why he thinks it doesn’t matter whom he hurts or what trouble he causes. Even if he should leave a mountain of corpses in his wake—as he has—who cares? Advancing toward his goal by the fastest possible means is paramount to all other concerns.”
Kutz reached out, grabbing Wataru by the shoulder. “And you’re okay with this? Do you think what he’s doing is right?”
Is it right? Is it wrong? I don’t think…
“Mitsuru is my friend,” Wataru said in a small voice. No matter how deep he reached, that was the only answer he could come up with.
“I didn’t ask you that. I asked whether you agreed with the methods he’s chosen.”
Kutz pushed Wataru and turned away from him. Wataru staggered back and grabbed the railing for support.
“After he’s gone to the north, I’m sure he’ll keep doing what he does, you know. If something stands in his way, he’ll rip it up from its roots and toss it aside. Even if he has to walk over a mountain of rubble and dead bodies, he’ll keep walking without a moment’s regret.”
“B-but Mitsuru…” Wataru spoke haltingly. “I think he has to do what he does…that’s how much he wants to change his fate! His lot in life was so bad, he’ll do anything…He’s much more determined…much more determined than I am.”
Kutz whirled around so fast her hair spun up behind her. “And that justifies any means? You’d forgive him what he’s done? If it’s to get back something you’ve lost, to make amends for something bad that happened to you, does it not matter what you do to anyone else? Think of what you’re saying! I’ll ask you again. Do you think he’s right? Can you forgive him?”
Wataru didn’t have an answer. Not an ounce of pride remained in his heart.
“The Northern Empire is a serious threat to us, yes. But there are many people living up there, same as here. Not all of them agree with the policies of their emperor. Some of them have been beaten down; they’re suffering. You said Mitsuru did what he did at Triankha because he had no other choice, because he was dealing with those fanatics? So, by your reasoning, he’s free to do whatever he likes to the people of the north? They are mostly believers in the Old God too, you know.”
The darkness around them grew deeper. Stars now filled the night sky, but the brightest lights came from Kutz—her eyes flared with rage. “You said the emperor has the last gemstone Mitsuru is looking for, correct? I’m sure he’ll go through with his plan of giving the designs for the powered boat to the emperor. That would make both Mitsuru and the emperor of the north very happy, to be sure. Good for them. But what happens next? The North builds their powered boats. There is a war. Thousands of people die. Do you think that’s right? Can you forgive that? Do you just stand here, mouth shut, head in your hands, pretending not to see?”
At last, Wataru looked up at Kutz. “What are you saying I should do? What can I do?”
“You’re asking me? You should be asking yourself.”
Myself. The answer’s in me…
Hands back on the railing, eyes peering out into the darkness, Kutz spoke. “You say Mitsuru is your friend. But, Wataru, even if they’re friends, even if they’re relatives, even if they’re lovers, when someone does something that isn’t right, it isn’t right. If you feel in your heart that they are wrong, you need to follow those feelings.”
Kutz’s slender fingers gripped the railing tightly. “I once had an argument with a man I loved, a long time ago.”
Wataru looked up at her intently.
“It was more than ten years ago now. There was a man, a killer. He murdered many to satisfy his greed. And he was very clever, terribly clever. He spun lies to deceive those around him, never letting us glimpse the truth.
“But one day we took a chance and set a trap for him. It was a chance like none other we’d ever had or would never have again. I can’t tell you how happy I was.”
The trap backfired, said Kutz. The criminal was eventually released.
“We argued for days. But in the end, the killer was set f
ree. It’s true, we baited him. That was the only way we could bring him to justice. And we were told we were wrong. We were indicted. The killer walked away and laughed at us.”
Within two weeks, the killer entered a merchant’s house to rob him and murdered the entire family. But his luck had run out, and he was caught at the scene of the crime.
“What happened next? He was hanged. But, if we’d never let him go in the first place, he wouldn’t have been able to rob and kill that one last time. Even if it was illegal, what we had done was clearly the right thing to do. I believe that even to this day.”
A spark of understanding went off in Wataru’s head. “Wait…the one who indicted you…”
“Boris Ronmel. At the time, he was a Highlander like myself. Now he’s Captain of the Knights of Stengel, of course. You’ve met him, haven’t you?”
Trone had told Wataru that, a long time ago, Kutz had been dumped by Captain Ronmel.
“Boris upheld the law above all else. He supported the Senate too. And the branch chiefs, they listened to his opinions. But I thought people’s lives were more important than all that. Yes, I went against the law. But I don’t regret it for a moment. That’s why I could never forgive him for indicting us. Nor was he able to forgive me.”
And so they had parted ways.
“You were in love with Captain Ronmel, weren’t you?”
Kutz looked at Wataru, a faint smile on her lips. “We were. But even still there are things one can’t forgive—that one shouldn’t forgive. In my mind, he’s responsible for the deaths of that unlucky merchant and his family. And I’m sure that Boris still thinks I was wrong. Oh, we’re both right in our own fashion, of course. It all depends on which side you choose to take. I wouldn’t give an inch, nor would he. I knew him better than anyone else in the world. And he knew to expect the same from me. That’s why he didn’t hesitate for one moment to indict us. That was the only way he knew to stop me.”
Wataru remembered Captain Ronmel, his clear blue eyes filled with incredible calm and wisdom, which looked as though they could see straight through to the back of his head. He shivered, imagining a face-off between Kutz and the captain.
Kutz moved silently over to Wataru’s side, stooping to put her hands on his shoulders. “Mitsuru is your friend. But if you feel what he does is wrong, you must act. You can’t stand silently by and let evil happen. Maybe you’ll never see eye to eye, but that doesn’t mean you can give up. If he’s wrong, you must tell him.” Kutz stood up from the railing.
While they were talking, the curtain of night had fallen over the grasslands. In town, torches blazed, and in the sky stars became countless scattered fragments of light.
“I…” Wataru began after a long pause. “I don’t want Mitsuru to do what he’s been doing. I don’t want him to keep hurting the people of Vision just to get to the Tower of Destiny. It’s…it’s wrong.” An image of the wreckage in Sono flashed across his mind. “But I felt like it was cowardly of me to say so. Like I was looking for some excuse to stop Mitsuru, just because I didn’t want to lose.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Kutz said softly. “That’s just an excuse you tell yourself so you can give up. If you don’t want Mitsuru to do what he’s doing, if you think what he’s doing is wrong, then you must stop him no matter what—even if he says you’re a coward.”
“Because he’s my friend?”
“No, that’s not it,” Kutz said with a sharp shake of her head. “You’re forgetting something very important.”
Wataru raised an eyebrow.
She grabbed on to Wataru’s left hand and lifted it above his head. “You’ve forgotten that you’re a Highlander.”
She gave his hand two shakes. “You swore an oath. To defend peace in Vision, to protect the word of the law. How can you just stand by and let someone destroy that peace? If you’re going to stand here and pretend you just don’t see, you’re not qualified to wear the firewyrm band.”
The red bracelet on his wrist glowed softly in the starlight. Wataru thought he could feel a warmth in it, like when he had fought for his life against Father Diamon in the Cistina Cathedral.
“It doesn’t matter that you’re a Traveler, that you might be chosen to be the sacrifice, or that you’re now in direct competition with Mitsuru. You’re a Highlander. That’s why, until the very moment you’re called by the Goddess, until the very last breath of your life, you must follow Mitsuru. You must yell until your voice is hoarse, calling him back from the chaos. You must plead with him and show him the wrong that he does—the value of those things he crushes and destroys to reach his goals. You must tell him that he is wrong, that you think he is wrong. You must stop him.”
Suddenly Wataru remembered his parting with Captain Ronmel at the observatory at Lourdes. Just as Kutz did now, he had put his hand on Wataru’s shoulder and looked him straight in the eye.
—You are a Traveler. You must follow your own course. Never forget that.
—I’m sure that Kutz the Rosethorn would say the same. She is your leader, and I would have you follow my advice as though it were hers.
He was wrong. Kutz didn’t feel the same way. She didn’t want Wataru to follow his mission to the end, she wanted him to be a Highlander.
Once again, Kutz and Ronmel were a step out of sync, yet both of them were right. And the look in their eyes when they spoke to him was exactly the same. It was funny, and at the same time, a little sad. Wataru felt his eyes sting.
The question before him now was this: Which truth do I follow? Where will I stand? Wataru looked up at Kutz and nodded slowly. She smiled and nodded back. “Then come—come with us to the north.”
“You’ve been planning this?”
“We need your help, Wataru.”
Chapter 42
A Conversation at Night
The trees that surrounded the huts of the Watchers glistened with dampness in the rainy night. Large droplets fell from the sky, smacking into the broad leaves, waking them from fitful sleep. Have to stay up. Can’t go to sleep yet. For Wayfinder Lau is still awake in his little home. The leaves of the forest rustled and shook, and waited.
Wayfinder Lau had spread several thick books out on the desk in front of him, and with a long-stemmed pen in his hand, he wrote furiously. He had pulled a lamp right next to his head and wore small, round glasses balanced on the tip of his nose.
The sound of the pen tip sliding across the paper was loud in the quiet little hut. Oil smoke rose from the burning lamp. Quite suddenly, Wayfinder Lau’s hand stopped, as though someone had called out to him. He looked up from his work. It was a small room, but the lamp was even smaller. Someone was standing at the very edge of the tiny circle of light cast on the floor.
Wayfinder Lau took off his glasses and squinted. “M’lady?”
The someone standing in the room shook with laughter and took a halfstep away from the circle of light. “Don’t look so surprised!” said a girl’s sweet voice. The voice that had made Wataru think of fairies.
“Your appearance…” Wayfinder Lau began, setting down his pen and standing.
“You don’t think it suits me? I occasionally wish to appear as a person, you know.”
Still hidden in the dim light at the corner of the room, the one Wayfinder Lau had called “m’lady” walked in a little circle. The hem of her skirt fluttered as she twirled.
She appeared as a young girl, incredibly slender, with a fragile beauty. From her clothes, she was not someone of Vision. “I don’t look so horrible all the time because I want to, you know. Sometimes, well, it’s good to get out.”
“And where did you borrow that little girl?”
“She was in the Tower of Destiny.”
“Then she is from the real world?”
“Yes, in fact. Must be one of his friends,” she answered, raising her borrowed right hand and placing it upon her borrowed right cheek. “I wonder if she’s his girlfriend? In any case, his mind has been tuned to her for
some time now.”
Wayfinder Lau maintained his silence, unsure of where she was heading with this.
“Don’t you think if I appear to Wataru like this he might grow to like me—and her—all the more?”
“Not your best plan ever,” Wayfinder Lau said gently.
“Oh? But I merely want to make him happy.”
Make him happy so he’ll take your side? People are not quite so simple as all that. Perhaps she does not yet realize this.
“Besides, I’m rather fond of this look,” the little girl said, twirling around once more. Despite her childlike bounce, Wayfinder Lau’s keen eyes could see the weight that lay upon her heart.
The two were silent, listening to the sound of the rain on the forest leaves outside.
“He’s going to the north,” she said suddenly.
Wayfinder Lau knew this without being told. All the birds throughout Vision had been keeping tabs on the Travelers, informing him of their every move.
“He’s gotten quite far. One more step to the tower. Things are racing toward a finale.”
Wayfinder Lau replied slowly. “Then the path ahead of him, as you know, is his true test.”
She didn’t seem to be listening—instead, she seemed preoccupied with the circle of light on the floor. “It sure rains a lot around here. I don’t like the rain.”
Sitting in the warm lamplight, staring at her profile, Wayfinder Lau felt a sadness—a kind of pity—swell in his heart.
“Whose side are you on? Mitsuru’s? Or Wataru’s? Which do you want to win, Wayfinder Lau?”
“What I think is irrelevant.”
“But one of them must be chosen for the sacrifice, to become the Lord of the Underworld.”
“That is up to the Goddess to decide.”
“Why does she get to decide all these important things anyway?” The girl pouted, resting her borrowed hand upon the window frame. “Not that I care who wins. Even if Wataru should lose, my feelings will remain the same. If he is to become the Lord of the Underworld, then I’ll become the Goddess. Then we can rule Vision together. If he is to go back to the real world, then I’ll follow him like I am now.”