I do. There’s no stopping it. If he hadn’t slammed his mouth down on mine, I’d have let out a scream and woke up the entire bus. I can’t contain my ecstasy. It’s overwhelming and crazy and so amazing. My hips moving in tandem with his hand, slowing as the orgasm begins to fade. I’m breathing like I just ran a marathon and I feel like I just did.
“Holy Hannah,” I whisper into Lucian’s neck.
“That was so fucking sexy. I nearly came from watching you.”
I blush, a little embarrassed at my lack of inhibition.
“Don’t. Never feel you can’t just let go with me. Don’t be afraid to or be ashamed after you do. It’s sexy as hell. You’re sexy as hell. The way you moaned out my name when you came. Christ,” he mutters. “But we’re not done.”
I look at him now. “We’re not?”
“Oh no. Not even close. Now I’m going to taste you,” he tells me, lifting his fingers that were inside me to his mouth. Then he sucks on them. Holy shit. That’s hot.
“I want to touch you, Lucian. Let me touch you now.”
He smirks. “Touch me then. Wherever you want. However you want.”
I bite my lower lip.
“What is it?” he asks, so in tune to how I’m feeling. How can he see me so clearly in this darkened room when I’m struggling to see him?
“Show me how. I want to know what you like,” I confess.
I blow out a breath, a shiver of pleasure spearing up my spine. I could come with just a few strokes of my cock. This girl has me so wound up, wound up so tight, tighter than I’ve ever been.
“Christ. You’re going to kill me. Your honesty is a huge turn on.” I stand and remove my boxer briefs. Nicole stares at my cock, so fucking hard right now and leaking precum. She gulps. Brave girl.
“Yeah, I’m kinda glad we’re not going to fuck. That would hurt,” she blurts out, then closes her eyes, trying to hide from what she just said.
I just sit down next to her and caress her cheek with the knuckles of my hand. Such soft, smooth skin. She’s so damn beautiful. “It’ll hurt a little because you’re a virgin, but once you adjust to my size, I’d make it so good for you.”
“I know you would, but for now, show me how to touch you.”
This is going to test my resolve. I should have jacked off and came when she did the first time, then this time I’d last longer. Fuck it.
I grab her hand and press her palm to my cock. The heat of her hand has my cock twitching and I grit my teeth. “Now, wrap your hand around. Yeah, like that. A little tighter. There, yeah, oh, fuck yeah.” It feels so damn good. Too damn good. I guide her hand up and down my dick, showing her the rhythm I like, pausing at the tip to coat her palm with precum for a little lube. When she’s ready to take over on her own, I fall to my back. I lick my fingers then touch her drenched pussy.
“You’re so damn wet,” I tell her and she bites her lip again. I’ve figured out she does that when she’s unsure, so I tell her, “It’s a good thing.”
“Oh,” is all she says.
“Do you want to suck my cock, baby?” I ask as her face gets closer and closer. She swipes her tongue over the head and I groan. “Fuck.”
“Yes, I want to.”
I nod. “Come here, baby.” I motion for her to get on her hands and knees. When I lift one of her legs so she’s straddling my face, she blushes.
“I’m not sure—”
“You will be in a minute. Just keep stroking my cock. Put it in your mouth when you’re ready. Suck on it like you do a popsicle,” I instruct, then pull her hips down so her pussy’s resting on my mouth. I don’t waste any time. I open my mouth and cover her pussy, licking up her juices. “You taste so good. Spicy and a bit of peach. Peach?”
“I don’t know. I eat a lot of fruit. Peaches are my favorite. Maybe that’s it?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care. You taste like fucking heaven.” I dive back in, my tongue running along her clit then back down. She moans and then her mouth is on my dick. Fuck me. Her sweet little mouth. I can just see her tongue licking at the precum. She leans in and I can’t see anything—only feel. When her lips close over the head of my cock I have a hard time remembering to lick her pussy.
I swirl my tongue around her clit and she does the same to the tip of my dick. I slip a finger into her pussy, working it in before adding a second. She’s seriously tight and would definitely need to be stretched a little before we’d fuck.
She takes me deeper into her mouth, sucking, moving up and down. She’s having a hard time setting a rhythm, but I know she’ll find it. I suck on her clit and she moans. The buck of my hips is involuntary. That sound. She’s incredible.
I lower my hips back to the bed and then she finds it. The rhythm that’s going to blow my mind. She had to have watched some porn to know to keep pumping my cock while she sucks and damn if that doesn’t make it hotter. Her fingers touch my balls and I groan, a shot of precum slipping out. I’m going to come soon, but I sure as hell am not going without her.
I curve my fingers inside her, thrusting slowly, to find the right spot. Her back arches and her breath comes out in a rush. There we go. I swipe my tongue across her clit hard, then soft. I flick it softly, then hard and fast. She likes the flicks. It’s not long before she’s sucking me faster, her hips moving against my face, pumping her pussy around my fingers. I lay my tongue flat as she rides my face, letting it slide against her clit. Her legs begin to shake.
She tugs on my balls and holy fuck.
“Baby, I’m going to come,” I warn. She doesn’t let up and I can’t stop. I suck on her clit, then flick it hard and fast and just like that she’s coming. I keep licking her as I lift my hips, thrusting into her mouth, going deeper and deeper, prickles of pleasure spreading from my balls and up my cock, and then I’m shooting my cum into her mouth. I groan against her pussy, fucking her mouth, coming like I haven’t in a long damn time. Shit. That’s a lot of cum for her to handle her first time sucking dick.
She falls over to her side, her leg resting against my face. I kiss the calf, trying to catch my breath.
“You sure you never did that before?” I ask, struggling to catch my breath.
“Nuh-uh. I watched some porn with my roommate in the hospital so I had an idea of how to do it.”
“You watched porn in the hospital?” I ask, biting back a laugh.
“Yeah. We were bored. There’s only so much you can do when you’re stuck in a hospital for weeks at a time,” she tells me, her tone flat.
“I’m sorry, Nicole.” I really, really am. She shouldn’t have to go through this. Why can’t the bad things just happen to bad people? Hell, I’m one of those bad people. I hit rock bottom five, six years ago and it took two years for me to climb back out of that hell. I nearly dragged Ben down with me, giving him coke. Jesse pounded my face pretty fucking good when he found out. Kennedy and Ethan showed up too late and I could tell they were disappointed they didn’t get a chance to bust up my face. I get it. Band members, brothers. We protect our own. I was an asshole. I owe him—all of them, an apology.
“Don’t feel sorry for me, Lucian. So far you’re the only one I’ve met that didn’t have pity in their eyes when we were introduced.”
“That’s bullshit. I didn’t have pity in my eyes when we met,” Justin yells through the door.
Nicole’s eyes go wide and her hand flies up to her mouth. “Oh my God.”
I chuckle. “Dude.”
“What? I can’t help it if the walls on this fucker are paper-thin. By the way, nice going, Nicole. First time sucking cock and you blew his head off,” Justin tells her.
“Oh my God,” she mutters again. If I could see her clearly I’d bet her face was five shades of red.
“Stop with that shit,” Justin tells her. “No need to be embarrassed. It was hot. I jacked off twice listening to you two, so yeah, thanks for that.”
She sucks in a breath and, shit, I hope she doesn’t cry. Instead, she su
rprises the hell out of me and bursts into laughter.
“Glad we could help you out there, Tin Man,” I tell him blandly.
“Hey, I wasn’t the only one. Gage and Kael were stroking it too. And if Mack had been here, he’d have been doing the same,” Justin announces and I groan. Is it too much to ask for a little privacy? I mean, I’m all for them getting off and all, but not my first time with Nicole.
“I guess,” Nicole begins, struggling through a laugh, “I’ll have to be more quiet if we do this again.”
“Won’t matter,” Justin tells her. “We’ll still hear it.”
“We’ll play some music or something,” I tell her. “And there’s no ‘if’ we do this again. Baby, this is happening more than once.” I can’t let this go. It was too good and I feel something for this girl, something that gets my blood running and tells me my heart isn’t broken.
I’m not sure what Ben’s deal is, why he hasn’t made a move with the size of the hard-on he’s got for Coley. All I know is his loss is my gain.
I crawl up the bed and pull Coley with me. She snuggles into my side and I cover us both, settling into the soft pillow. I haven’t had a girl sleep in my bed—ever. We have the same rules as FD—Fuck ‘em and chuck ‘em. We’re assholes and we make no apologies for it. Only there’s something different about Nicole. Something that has me wanting to keep her close and spend time with her. It’s not her illness, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare the hell out of me.
Her breathing is even as she drifts off to sleep. I absently run my fingertips up and down her arm.
“What if you’re falling in love with her, man?” Justin asks through the door.
I don’t have an answer to that question so I just don’t say anything.
“SHE DIDN’T COME back to any of the buses last night,” Lucy whispers to Sera.
“She’s likely with Lucian.”
Again with Lucian. Fucker.
“Do you think…” Lucy drifts off.
Sera shrugs. “She’s an adult and Lucian’s really hot. Those eyes alone are enough to turn nipples into razor blades.”
Lucy laughs.
“Did someone say nipples?” Xander asks, boarding the bus.
“He’s got radar for that shit,” Kennedy states from the sofa where he’s strumming his guitar.
“Fuck yeah,” Xander says, taking a seat next to Lucy. He reaches over and rubs the babies. Lucy’s resigned herself to the fact that we’re all going to touch her belly as much as we want to and she can’t stop us. At first she was shocked, then she got irritated, now she finds it ‘sweet’.
“Nipples. Tits. Pussy. Ass. Those are my keywords right there,” Xan announces.
“Don’t forget fuck, sex, cock…” I trail off, already heading toward the swear jar.
“Yeah, can’t forget those. Mmm,” he murmurs.
“You owe the jar, asswipe,” Kennedy tells Xan.
“Shit. I said the F word?” he asks.
“Yep,” I reply.
“They just slip out and I don’t even realize I’m saying it. This no F word stuff is fu- freaking difficult as hell,” Xander says.
“You’re telling me,” Jesse says, walking onto the bus. “And I could hear you all talking about nipples and cock. You shouldn’t be saying shit like that around the babies.”
“Please,” Sera says, rolling her eyes. “You talk dirtier than that when you’re fucking.” Sera reaches into her pocket and grins. “A very necessary F word.”
“She’s right,” Lucy admits.
“I can’t help it. When you’re naked and we—” Jesse starts.
“Gah. Stop,” Sera says, holding up her hands. “There are some places we just shouldn’t go together and that’s one of them.
“Even though we hear them,” Kennedy mutters.
“Even though,” I agree with a nod.
I know Coley’s pretty innocent. I don’t know if she fucked before or not, but even if she did, she hasn’t screwed randomly like we all have.
“What if she screwed Lucian last night?” Lucy questions, asking the question I don’t want the answer to.
“Then she did, babe. She’s a grown woman and Lucian… Well, as much as I hate to say it, he’s changed. Cage was right,” Jesse admits.
“Of course he was,” Sera says. “He doesn’t bullshit. You should know that by now. Whether or not Lucian and Burners were drug-free, they’d be on this tour if that’s what he wanted and you could bitch until you were blue in the face and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. Cage is Batman and he makes the rules.”
“Dude, I bet he makes some really hot rules when you’re fu—boning,” Xan says, correcting himself and grinning as he does.
“Oh God. Boning? We have to hear words like that now that we can’t use the F word?” Lucy mutters. “Maybe we should just use the F word.”
“Nope,” I say. “Those babies don’t need their first word to be the F word.”
“True that,” Ethan agrees, stepping up with a yawn. “Misty, you got any coffee?” he asks. She nods. “Bless you. I slept like shit last night.” Misty hands him a cup of coffee, giving him a come-hither smile. Ethan either doesn’t notice or he ignores it because he just turns and sits down next to Kennedy.
“What’s up?” Ethan asks.
“Coley didn’t come home last night,” Xander announces.
“No shit.”
Xan nods. “We’re thinking she and Lucian were playing hide the salami.”
I can’t help it. I laugh as Lucy groans.
“Nice one,” I tell Xan and we fist bump.
“I’m digging down deep for these.” And he’s damn proud of each one, too, from the gleam in his eyes.
I sit back and roll the cigarette through my fingers.
“Are you smoking again?” Jesse asks.
I shake my head. “Thought about it.”
“What’s going on?”
I shrug. “Just stressed out.”
Jesse meets my gaze. “Stay away from the hard stuff.”
I glare back. “Burners don’t do that shit anymore, and even if they did, I’m long past that bullshit.”
At his nod, I relax, tipping my head back to rest on the back of the couch.
“What was that about?” Lucy asks Jesse.
“Nothing to be worried about.”
“Hmm. You sure? If Coley’s going to be spending time with them—”
“Nah,” he tells her. “She’s fine. Plus, I bet she could kick their ass if they messed with her.”
Sera snorts. “Likely. She’s one tough cookie.”
“A cookie Ben wants to eat,” Xander blurts out. Fucker.
I wake up sweating. I try to move to kick the blanket off of me, but I quickly realize it’s not a blanket making me hot. It’s Lucian. His arm wrapped around my waist and his leg entwined with mine tighten, pulling me closer.
Oh shit. Lucian. I take a steadying breath. I feel a little like a slut. I mean, I didn’t have sex with him but we’d done pretty much everything else… and it was fantastic. I’m a little ashamed and I’m going to die of embarrassment when Lucy asks me a million questions—because she will. Lucy’s quickly taken to mothering me. She’s too young to actually be my mother so I just think of her as a protective big sister. I gasp. I let my guard down with her. It’s impossible not to and I let her get too close. What if—
“I can hear you thinking,” Lucian mumbles against my neck before pressing a kiss there.
I sigh. “It’s one of my faults, I’m afraid.”
“Hmm. If that’s the worst of it…”
I laugh. “Hardly. I have way worse.”
“You were sexy and a bit of a dirty girl last night. Did you like it?” he asks and I feel the flush rising from my chest to my cheeks.
“I did.”
“Mmm. For someone who hasn’t been around the block much, you sure know your way around.”
I shrug. “Like I said—”
“Y
eah, I remember. Hospital porn.” He chuckles and shakes his head.
I turn over to face him and suck in a breath. Jesus, he’s beautiful. His inky black hair is mussed, his blue eyes a bit darker than his normal ice, and the stubble growing on his face. Holy Hannah.
“Do you like what you see?”
I roll my eyes. “Yep. You’re so damn hot. How are you single?”
He shrugs. “Never met the girl who I wanted to settle down with.”
“Ah.”
“What about you? Have you had any boyfriends?” he asks.
“One, when I lived in Wisconsin for a few months. I could have fallen in love with him. He’s tall, built, a football player, gorgeous face, and his personality… oh, shit.” Light bulb moment.
“What?”
I swallow. “His personality is a bit like Xander’s. Not as goofy, but still Xan-like.”
“Well, that explains a lot.”
“Huh?”
“Why you don’t like him.”
“I’m not getting it.”
“He reminds you of someone you could have loved but didn’t get the chance, someone you’d likely still be with if that were possible,” he tells me, running his hand up and down my arm.
Can that really be it? “You think that’s why I don’t like Xander? I mean, I like him, but there’s just something about him that rubs me wrong. I’m not sure. I think it’s more along the lines that he’s fake sometimes,” I admit.
“How do you mean?”
“It’s like he’s putting on a show for everyone. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes sometimes. I don’t know why people haven’t noticed this yet, especially Lucy.”
“Who says she hasn’t?”
I shrug. “Maybe she has but it doesn’t seem like it. Instead of the fun-loving guy he tries to be for everyone, I think deep down inside there’s something more going on that we don’t know about. I prefer honesty.”
“Maybe he’s not ready to share that. Maybe it’s too personal.”
I snort. Shit, I’m starting to be like Sera too. “Too personal? Them knowing all about my medical history? That’s too personal. Them knowing about my lack of family? That’s entirely too personal. I didn’t have a choice. Neither should they.”