Why did she ever have to meet Monroe?
She turned her head as Sarah and Amelia hurried into her tent. Amelia looked as anxious as Sarah did, and Emmie felt a wave of love for both friends. They truly did care about her. She didn’t know why they should, but they did, and she was grateful to both of them.
“What did the doctor say?” Sarah laid a cool hand on Emmie’s forehead.
Emmie bit her lip. There was no use trying to keep it from them. “I’m going to have a baby.”
Sarah’s eyes widened and she gaped before she recovered her composure. “Oh, that’s wonderful! You’ll never be alone again. When?”
“May.”
Never alone. She hadn’t thought of what a difference a baby would make.
Sarah handed her a crust of bread. “A baby would have made Monroe adore you even more. I’m sorry he’s not going to meet his child. But you’ll be a wonderful mother, Emmie. The best. And your baby will love you even more than Monroe did.”
Amelia clapped her hands in delight. “It will be such fun for us to raise our babies together. We’ll have all kinds of good advice for you by the time the wee one arrives.”
Emmie was grateful for the way they were hiding the dismay they both must have felt. “I’ll be fine in a day or two, and I promise not to be a bother, Sarah. I’m supposed to be helping you.”
“Oh, pishposh, I don’t need any help. I just needed company. You’ll be even better company now that you know what we’re going through.”
“But what will Rand say?”
“What do you mean?” Sarah seemed genuinely puzzled. “What could he say? He loves kids.” She fluffed up Emmie’s pillow and pushed her down against it. “Now you just quit your fretting and get some rest. Everything is going to be just fine. You’ll see.”
Emmie allowed herself to be tucked into the quilts and furs as the fire in the stove threw out welcome warmth and cheeriness. She didn’t know what the future might hold, but with friends like the Campbells, it would surely be all right.
But this would end any interest Isaac might have in her.
ONE
OCTOBER 1866, FORT PHIL KEARNY, WYOMING TERRITORY
Pregnant and unmarried.
Emmie Croftner mulled her condition over as she lay snuggled in her quilts. The prairie wind howled around the tent, and snow drifted through the cracks in the tent and collected in piles around her.
She’d thought nothing could be worse than Monroe’s death, then his real wife had shown up. This was infinitely worse.
She wasn’t sure how her best friend’s husband, Rand Campbell, would treat her after hearing the news, but over the days that followed Emmie had found that he treated her no differently than he always had. He was just as solicitous of her as he was of his wife, Sarah. He truly did not seem to mind the change in the bargain they’d struck.
Had he told Isaac Liddle? She thought it likely since Isaac hadn’t stopped by as much as usual. She threw back the covers, and her bare feet landed in snow. She didn’t care if he came by or not. All men were fickle at best and treacherous at worst. She’d been certain his interest wouldn’t survive her devastating news.
“Emmie?” Rand’s voice came from the other side of the tent. “Our permanent quarters in Officers’ Row are ready to move into. I have some soldiers out here ready to transfer our belongings.”
“Coming!” Emmie jerked her flannel nightgown over her head and quickly donned her wool dress and boots. She grabbed her cloak and buttoned it around her before lifting the flap on the tent and joining Sarah.
Already dressed for the blustery late-October weather at Fort Phil Kearny, Sarah turned with a bright smile. Her red-gold hair sprang free from its bun and circled her face. “I’ll be so glad to get in a real house. No stepping in snow tomorrow morning.”
Several soldiers sidled in with a shy glance at the women. They hefted crates to their shoulders and hauled them out of the tent. Emmie and Sarah followed them across the fort’s parade ground to the sounds of the fort band practicing in the single officers’ quarters. Emmie spared a glance toward the hills that rose around the little fort in a picturesque panorama.
The cold wind practically blew them into their new home. Emmie shut the door behind Sarah and turned to survey the cabin. It was similar in layout to what they’d left behind in Fort Laramie but smaller in size. The pine boards still oozed sap and smelled of newly milled lumber. The fresh plaster walls looked clean but stark, with no trim around the windows or floor. The kitchen was bare of accessories but serviceable and clean. Emmie was so glad to be out of the tent, she didn’t care how it looked.
“It’s plain, I know, but I’ll knock together a dry sink and corner cupboard as soon as I can.” Rand took off his hat, and the sunlight through the window gleamed on his brown hair.
The door opened and snow swirled through it, then it was shut again. “Already done, partner.” Isaac’s mustache quivered above his grin as he set a sturdy sawhorse down against the wall. “Be right back.” He stepped outside and returned with another one, which he placed a couple of feet away from the first. Then he brought in four rough wood planks and laid them over the sawhorses. “This is the very latest in Fort Phil’s kitchen decor. All the best-dressed kitchens have one. And I have it on the best authority that it makes a dandy ironing board as well.”
Sarah ran to hug him. “Isaac, you darling!”
His blue eyes danced above his reddened cheeks, and he winked at Emmie. “Don’t I get a hug from you too?”
Heat rushed to Emmie’s cheeks. He hadn’t shown his face for days and now he showed up talking about hugs. “Maybe when we get the chairs.” She flushed again when he laughed.
“I’ll hold you to it,” he chuckled as he walked away.
Emmie delighted in helping Sarah fix up their tiny home over the next few days. They begged some wool blankets from the quartermaster and tacked them together to make rugs for the parlor and bedroom floors as well as for the small area in the hall that was partitioned off for Emmie. Rand came in with a triumphant smile with his booty of blue gingham for curtains and tablecloths. With Sarah’s little knick-knacks around, the place looked very homey. Several of the other ladies were very friendly and stopped by with invitations to tea and some small offerings of household items.
Emmie dried her hands on a towel and put the last plate away. “I think I’ll go for a walk. The wind isn’t blowing too hard for a change. I’m going crazy cooped up inside. Want to come along?”
Sarah shook her head. “I don’t think so. Rand tore his britches on some cactus yesterday, and I promised I’d mend them. Why don’t you ask Isaac or one of the other officers to escort you? Any of them would jump at the chance.”
Emmie shied away from the thought of Isaac. “I don’t mind going alone.” She had tried to avoid him ever since he brought by the camp chairs for the kitchen while she was taking their laundry to Soapsuds Row two days ago. She hoped he’d forgotten all about her forward comment.
The sun was beginning to go down, and the reds and golds touched the tops of the hills around the fort. The cold evening air felt invigorating, but Emmie shivered as wolves howled outside the stockade. She wrapped her cloak more tightly around her as she strolled along the sawdust path in front of the officers’ quarters. She decided to wander in the direction of the front of the stockade.
A tall figure came toward her. “Mind if I join you?”
She flinched back before she recognized Isaac’s face. “There’s really no need. I’m perfectly all right. I just wanted a walk.” Her pulse quickened.
“I could use a chance to stretch my legs myself.” He fell into step beside her. “
Did you have someplace special in mind to go, or shall we just look in some windows?”
She chuckled in spite of herself, then glanced at him hesitantly. He probably wouldn’t let her do what she planned. “I know Rand said to stay away from the stockade perimeter, but I wish I could climb up in the blockhouse and look out over the wall for just a minute. I’m so tired of seeing the same things day after day. I haven’t been outside the confines of this fort in weeks.”
Isaac was silent for a minute. Emmie shivered again as she heard a pack of wolves howl off to her right, but he relaxed at the sound. “Those are real wolves and not Indians. I guess it wouldn’t hurt for just a minute. But you have to promise to get away from the wall the minute I say we have to leave.”
“I promise.” She resisted the urge to squeal from excitement. He was really going to take her.
Isaac led her past the hospital and warehouses and through the tangle of hayricks, shops, and quarters for wagon makers and saddlers. He stepped carefully and pointed out piles of manure and mud for her to avoid before stopping outside the blockhouse.
She’d seemed to withdraw the moment she saw him. Did she think her pregnancy would curb his interest? He loved kids, and he could love any child of Emmie’s. How would she react if he told her that? Would she run from that much interest? He wasn’t good at understanding women.
“Let me tell the soldiers on duty what we’re doing.” He climbed up and found Corporal Lengel watching the horizon. “Miss Croftner would like to see the moon on Little Piney River. You see any hostiles?”
The corporal’s weathered face broke into a grin. “Nothing moving out there, Lieutenant. Want me to hang around and watch, or can you handle it?”
Isaac ignored the soldier’s amusement. “I think I can take care of it. I’ll go get her.” Once he was away from Lengel, he couldn’t hold back his grin as he rejoined Emmie.
She grabbed at the hood of her cloak as the wind blew it off her dark-brown hair. “What’s so funny?”
“I told Corporal Lengel I wanted to show you the moon on the Little Piney River.”
“He’ll think—”
“Well, I had to give him some reason.”
Emmie flushed. “I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about you and me.”
The finality in her tone erased his smile. Didn’t she feel the same tug he did?
She looked away. “Rumors can run through the fort like a–a herd of thundering buffalo.”
He snorted. “Like you’ve ever seen a herd of thundering buffalo.” Taking her arm, he helped her onto the ladder. “Watch your step.”
The corporal grinned knowingly as they brushed past him to get to the window. “Call when you’re finished here, Lieutenant.” He winked as he backed down the ladder.
Her cheeks went even redder. “Now see what you’ve done.”
Isaac just laughed. Ignoring her outburst, he pointed out the window. “Look at the river.” He watched her face as she looked out over the terrain.
The trees along the river sparkled as though they were made of diamonds. The moon glittered on their coating of heavy frost, and the iced-over river caught the shimmering reflection and bounced it back.
He pointed. “That way is some land I have my eye on.”
“Land? Out here?” She shivered. “Where are you from originally?”
Something warmed in the region of his heart at the interest in her voice. “El Paso. There were four of us boys.” Pain squeezed his chest. “When the Confederacy started forcing Texans into the army, I lit out to join the Cavalry. My pa was livid.”
She touched his arm. “I’m sure he forgave you. You had to follow your principles.”
He pressed his lips together. “I went to see him before I headed out here. Pa wouldn’t let me in the house. Two of my brothers died fighting, and he thinks I should have been there to take care of them.”
Her fingers tightened on his forearm. “I’m so sorry.”
He placed his hand over hers. “That means a lot. I’m all right. I aim to get a ranch of my own. I’ll raise racehorses some day.”
“Out here?” She turned to look back at him, and her eyes were huge. “It’s so dangerous.” She leaned out the window.
Isaac clasped her arm and pulled her back. “Don’t do that! There could be Sioux out there just waiting to put an arrow through your pretty head.”
When he touched her, she fell back against him. The press of her small form against him spread warmth all through his body. He caught the scent of something sweet and flowery in her hair.
She straightened up and started to pull away, but he turned her to face him. “A real lady always pays her debts, you know.”
“What do you mean?” She put one hand against his chest.
His voice went husky as he leaned closer. “I distinctly remember you promising me a hug when I brought the kitchen chairs. It’s been two days and I haven’t gotten my hug yet. I think I’d better charge you a little interest.”
He drew her closer and Emmie’s eyes widened as he bent his head, but she didn’t turn away. He smelled the warm scent of her skin as his lips found hers. At first she stood stiffly in his embrace, and her lips didn’t respond. He gathered her closer as her lips softened beneath his, and one small hand slid up his chest.
The next instant, she gave a tiny gasp and pulled away. Her chest rose and fell and she was trembling. “That was more than a little interest.”
“I think it was just perfect.” He traced a finger along the curve of her cheek. “Just like you.”
Her blue eyes were huge in her face, and her lower lip trembled. “I–I’d better get back.” Her words were a whisper. “Sarah will be wondering about me.”
He nodded and let her go. She kept a wary eye on him as she took one last look out the window, then hurried down the ladder. She didn’t wait for him but struck off toward the officers’ quarters.
He followed her quickly. “Wait up, Emmie. What are you so scared of? I won’t hurt you.”
“I–I don’t want you to think I’m the sort of girl who dallies in the moonlight,” she gulped, her voice nearly inaudible. “Just because I’m a widow–and–and pregnant doesn’t mean I’m looking for someone to fill in for Monroe.”
The warm softness he’d felt evaporated at once. “I never thought you were. That husband of yours must have been a piece of work for you to be so prickly, but you don’t need to lump all of us men in the same pot of stew. I wouldn’t want to do anything to dishonor you or my God.”
Her head jerked up. “Don’t you say anything about Monroe. You don’t know anything about him.”
“I know he must have hurt you badly. When you arrived at Fort Laramie, you were like a stray dog everyone had kicked too often. I left you alone to lick your wounds, but it’s time for you to put the past behind you and get on with your life.” He swept his arm expansively. “This is a new country out here. You can forget Indiana. You can make a new life for yourself.”
“I am making a new life. It just doesn’t include kisses in the moonlight with you or anyone else.”
“Maybe I’m rushing you a little.” Isaac stepped back from her. “But I’ll be here when you decide to quit living in the past.” He turned and strode back toward the officers’ quarters.
Emmie’s throat burned with unshed tears as she mounted the steps to the Campbells’ door. She just didn’t want to be hurt again. Isaac was interested only because there weren’t any other unmarried women here. If they were in Indiana, he wouldn’t give her a second glance. She’d never felt she was a lovable person until Monroe came into her life. And after he’d done what h
e did, she was sure something was inherently wrong with her. No one had ever loved her for herself. Not even her family.
Sarah looked up as she came in. “Did you have a nice walk? Oh—” She broke off when she saw the look on Emmie’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just tired.” Emmie forced a smile to her face. She felt Sarah’s probing eyes, but she refused to meet her gaze. “I think I’ll turn in early. I’ll see you in the morning.” She fled to the meager haven of her curtained-off bedroom. Sarah wouldn’t understand. She’d like to see her marry Isaac and settle down next door. But that wasn’t going to happen, she vowed as she slipped between the cold sheets. Men just couldn’t be trusted. Underneath his exuberance and flattery, Monroe had been just like her brothers and father. Just as selfish and deceitful. Isaac was no different. He was just hiding it like Monroe had done.
TWO
The fort chapel was a small cabin with seats that were rough, backless benches oozing sap. A small stove in one corner of the room belched out smoke along with a little warmth. Emmie, Sarah, and Sarah’s little brother, Joel, sat on the second row beside Amelia Campbell, who was married to Rand’s brother Jacob.
All three women were pregnant. Amelia’s beautiful face was a little bloated, though her blue eyes still smiled in spite of her discomfort. At about six months, Sarah glowed with a beautiful vitality in her green eyes. And Emmie just wanted to hide in bed until it was all over.
Emmie never attended church in Wabash other than an occasional wedding. Her pa didn’t hold with religion, even though he bellowed out hymns when he was drunk. Emmie always wondered where he’d learned them. He never talked much about how he was raised and she never knew her grandparents. Her pa always said religion was a crutch for weak people, but Emmie thought the liquor was more of a crutch.