Even though I had already suspected that he would use sex as a weapon against me, it wasn’t nice to verbally hear him admit this. I narrowed my eyes. “You’re teasing me on purpose?”
“Yes, I am,” he said shamelessly. A proud, masculine smirk quirked onto his lips. “And if I trusted myself to not pounce on you, then I would’ve taken it upon myself to be completely nude while in the apartment with you.” He bequeathed me with an indignant smile. “Consider yourself lucky that my weakness is you and that all I’m doing is walking around with my shirt off, Teacup. If I had done the former, then I know the sight of me naked would have convinced a nun to become a Demon for me. You wouldn’t even stand a chance.”
“You’re shameless,” I seethed, secretly thankful that he didn’t do the former. I doubted I would stand a chance if that frigging Demon were to flaunt his raw and untamed sexuality in my face. I went quiet for a few breaths before changing the subject to a more socially appropriate one. “How does the Demon thing work anyway?”
I needed to get as far away as possible from sexual thoughts about Eclipse. Nothing would sober me up more than talking about demonic things. Now that I thought about it, I was also very curious. I had never asked him how the conversion process worked. It would be interesting to hear the answer.
“What will happen to me if I agree to become a Demon? Will I be reborn or something? Will I change completely? What will happen?”
“The conversion process is a long and complicated one,” Eclipse began with a sigh. “I’ve never performed one so I have no idea how it truly works. There are things that the Demon—who is known as the ‘Creator’—and the human have to do before the conversion can even begin. It’s a very complex process. Apparently, only when the human agrees to give up their soul will the Creator know what to do. I can’t tell you how the conversion will work, but I can tell you that once I turn you into a Demon, you will stay as you are in human form. The only difference is you’d be better. You can switch from the realms of Hell and the human world as you wish. You can live as a human and work as one as well. You can do anything you want—as long as your Creator gives you the leeway to do so.” A faraway look appeared on his visage. “Though I have to tell you it might take you a couple of months—or possibly even a year or two—to leave my bed because I’ll probably want to keep you there with me for a while.”
I glowered at him. He really did have no filter for that mouth of his.
“You do realize you’re objectifying me?”
“And you’re not with me?” he countered without apology. He tilted his head. “I see how you look at me, Gracie. I’m the Demon of Lust for the Devil’s sake. I can feel your lust and your desire for me. You don’t care about getting to know me or saving my life. All you care about is the sexual wonders you know I’ll bring to you.”
He arched a challenging brow at the scowl that took over my face.
“Our relationship is a symbiotic one, Teacup. We both desire things from each other, we both find one another attractive, and we both benefit from each other’s shallowness. This is the best relationship two different entities like us could have. I don’t see the point in pretending that there’s more to our relationship than our mutual, shallow admiration of the other. I also don’t see the point in you constantly pretending that you’re so prim and proper when nothing but dirty thoughts invade your mind when it concerns me.” He grinned coyly before inching closer. Desire teemed in his beguiling eyes. “Just say the words, Gracie. Say it, and we can both give in to what we want without you croaking before the night is over.”
“You know what? You’re right,” I finally admitted, abandoning all pretenses about ignoring this “sexual wall” between us. What was the point of denial when this Demon was so adamant on pointing it out? “I do want to have sex with you, but I also want a strawberry cheesecake. Do you see me bingeing on that? No. Do you know why? Because we human beings have this thing called self-control. There is a cost and worth to everything. The cost of losing my soul to sleep with you isn’t worth it to me—definitely not. That said, you can taunt me all you want, but I’m not giving in. Not now, not ever.”
He paused for a contemplative second before disbelievingly saying, “You’re comparing your desire for phenomenal sex with me to cheesecakes?” Amusement colored his expression. He stared down at me with favorable eyes. I would even go as far as saying that his fondness for me grew even more in that moment. “My nonexistent-goodness, you’re such a fat girl at heart.”
I wheeled away from him. I concluded that there was no point in lingering on this topic. It was needless teasing and it was best to just end it. I couldn’t handle hanging out with him any further tonight. I needed space for my own sanity. I roughly jutted my head towards the bathroom as my way of dismissing him from the room.
“Are you going to shower first or should I?”
He nodded, aptly accepting my dismissal. While he was getting ready to leave for the bathroom, he suddenly waved a hand over the kitchen table. A slice of strawberry cheesecake appeared before my eyes, shocking me with its sudden presence. I gaped at him, openly suspicious of his actions. What was he up to?
“Temptations are part of life, Gracie,” he purred lightly. “They may not be good for you, but it is fine to give in every once in a while, especially when you know how delicious it’s going to be.” He pushed the plate closer to me. “So what the hell, right? Life is short. You only live once. You might as well enjoy it.” Just before he left for his shower, he stopped behind me, brought his lips to my ear, and silkily said, “And thank you for letting me know your dessert of choice. For our first night together, I was having trouble deciding between slathering whipped cream or caramel all over myself. However, having you eat a strawberry cheesecake off my naked body will do as well.” I could feel him smile as I gasped inwardly. “I’ll be in the shower, Teacup. I’ll leave the door open just in case you need me.”
As soon as he disappeared and I heard the shower running, I had to place a hand over my heart to calm the incessant beating. I was exceedingly disturbed with the mindless sexual attraction I felt for him—I had never felt this way about anyone. I was so affected by Eclipse’s intense sexuality that I had to get a tissue because my nose was starting to bleed from our encounter!
I hate my life, I thought miserably, pathetically sitting down on the table and munching on the strawberry cheesecake, bloody nose and all.
I was crestfallen. How was I going to survive my last remaining months with someone like him by my side? It was becoming unbearable, mainly because I knew I was going to die and a big part of me really didn’t want to die a virgin. I literally had death trailing around me and all I wanted was to throw myself at him and have him give me the time of my life. But then I’d remember the list of cool things I wanted to do before I died and dying from an orgasm was not one of them.
I shook my head as conviction presided over me. I couldn’t be a willing victim in this mess. I had to be a fighter and I knew just how to do that.
●●●
“Where are you going?” Eclipse asked the following night.
He watched as I glided out of my room with a little jade green dress and super high heels. OinkOink was following closely behind me, making soft panting sounds as he trotted along, staring up at me in confusion. The puppy clearly didn’t understand why I was dressed so provocatively.
“Studying,” I said briskly, grabbing my white trench coat from the couch where Eclipse was relaxing.
Eclipse’s eyes narrowed while he watched me put on the jacket. “Liar.”
I blew out a breath, not caring if he knew where I was headed or not. “I’m going to a club.”
His eyes enlarged at this piece of information. OinkOink had jumped onto the couch with him and was settling onto his lap. Against my better knowledge, it appeared that OinkOink was staring at me in outrage as well.
“Are you a dysfunctional nerd or something?” Eclipse asked at once, shocked with my n
onchalant answer. His blasphemous eyes gaped at me like I had committed an unforgivable sin. In a low, scandalized voice, he added, “It’s a school night.”
“Yeah,” I dismissed carelessly. “Since I’m going to die anyway, I think that merits me being able to go out on a school night and let loose.” I glared at him, remembering how needy he made me feel the night prior. I needed a break from this guy or I would end up dead on my bed soon. Gathering up my courage, I tried to appear stern when I told him, “You better not crash my night out. I’ve had enough of the testosterone in the room whenever you’re around. Since you’ve made it a point to be around me 24/7, I need room to breathe. I need to hang out with my friends.”
“Friends?” he prompted, perplexed by my answer. “What friends?”
“My girlfriends.”
“I thought you didn’t have any real friends?”
I rolled my eyes at this unnecessarily true fact. “Just do your own thing tonight, and I’ll do mine, okay?”
He took a moment to appraise me before carefully asking, “You really hate being around me that much?”
Being around you makes me wanton! I wanted to whine at him. I resisted the urge to be childish and demurely said, “If you have to ask, then you’re not as smart as you look. Now promise me you won’t crash my girls’ night.”
A muscle leapt in his sculpted jaw at my careless dismissal. Much to my surprise, a slight bitterness overtook his face and he turned away from me. If I didn’t know better, I would go as far as saying that Eclipse was offended and hurt by my strong distaste for his presence.
With a quiet and bitter voice, he dismissively said, “Have fun on your girls’ night.”
"Why do you have to be better than anything I could ever dream up?”
20: Breaking the Sun
The girls’ night at club Soleil was boring.
Per usual, we were getting free drinks from guys in the club because we were five cute girls sitting together with no boyfriends in sight. Due to the fact that Ara, Dawn, and their friends, Kina and Missy, were trying to limit their round of drinks in fear of getting wasted, I took the honor of emptying the drinks that were gifted to us. Honestly, if you were sexually frustrated because you had a ridiculously hot Demon following you around, you would drink yourself into oblivion as well. Plus, I was bored to boot.
I suppose to have fun on a girls’ night, you would have to like those in your company. Since I only enjoyed fifty-percent of the company I was with, I was miserable the majority of the time.
Let me introduce you to Kina Oh and Missy Park. If Ara, Dawn, and I were like peas in a pod, then Kina, Missy, and I were like oil and water.
Kina and Missy were childhood friends with Ara and Dawn. They were also the epitome of the types of people I would never voluntarily hang out with. They were rich, stuffy, and self-righteous—all critical components fusing into personalities that bordered on ignorance and snobbery. When Ara and Dawn first introduced me to them, they were relatively friendly. All that warmness faded away when they found out that I wasn’t a Christian, and all that friendliness morphed into snobbery when they found out that I wasn’t planning on converting.
It didn’t take a genius to deduce that Kina and Missy didn’t think I was “worthy” enough to hang out with them because of my lack of religious affiliations. They have made no effort to hide their distaste towards me. I was in their group, but not completely in their inner circle. In their already established inner circle, I was merely a guest. This was something I have always understood and truthfully speaking, it was something I never minded. With my personality traits, my affinity towards solidarity, and my own efforts to safeguard my secrets, I would always prefer to be someone’s “guest” anyway.
Don’t get me wrong. With my aversion towards Kina and Missy aside, it was so nice to finally hang out with Dawn and Ara again. I saw them throughout school for lunch, but it still wasn’t the same hangout time we usually had because I had been heavily distracted by Eclipse.
Albeit it was wonderful to be hanging with my friends again, I had to admit that I was really beginning to miss Eclipse. He could be overbearing at times, but he was also incredibly fun to have around. He would always make the most interesting comments about people, and even though I would never outright agree with him, I could see where he was coming from. I also couldn’t help but feel bad about the way I left things off at home. I couldn’t forget his crestfallen face after I pretty much told him that I hated being around him. I felt guilt, but almost as quickly, a part of me would assure myself that I was doing what was best. Eclipse was too dangerous to be around. The more time I could be away from him, the better it was for my own survival. It was too dangerous to get “used to” having Eclipse by my side. I couldn’t allow myself to get this attached, especially not to a Demon who only wanted my soul. With that thought engraved in my mind, I continued to sit there, attempting to enjoy my night.
“Grace, you seem really distracted lately,” Ara finally voiced.
We were in a crescent-shaped booth, and I was sitting between Ara and Dawn and across from Kina and Missy. I was drinking by myself, half-heartedly paying attention to what they were saying and letting out meek laughter whenever the whole group laughed. I assumed I was doing a good job of blending into the social environment around me, but I guess with the preoccupied state I was in, it only made sense that my usually good acting skills were mediocre tonight.
Ara spared a glance at Dawn who, after taking a moment to decide if this was the appropriate time, chimed in and said, “We’re actually getting really worried about you, Grace.”
I looked at them, surprised by the severity in their choice of words.
“Why?” I forced a laugh in an effort to appease the worry that was prevalent on their faces. “Why are you guys worried about me?”
“You just don’t seem like yourself,” Ara commented gently. Concern outlined her voice. “Every time I see you, you always seem distracted and jumpy. It’s like you’re expecting someone to pop out of nowhere and attack you or something.”
Or something, I thought absentmindedly.
Unbeknownst to what I was thinking, Dawn said, “And it’s been worrying us because every time Ara and I try to talk to you, it always looks like you’re in a dream world.” She paused meaningfully and then added, “And you still haven’t told us what happened on your date with Don. You usually tell us these things right away. This is not like you, Grace . . .”
Granted Ara and Dawn weren’t people that I would consider to be my true friends (my definition of friends were people you would share your secrets with, so in that regard, no one in the world was actually my friend), they were close enough to me. I cared about them. Probably not in the same manner that normal people would care about their friends, but for someone like me, it was considered an amazing feat that I even had a semblance of attachment for Ara and Dawn. What they said touched a small part of me that still felt human, so much so that it felt like a burden to prepare to lie to them. As nice as it was for them to voice their concerns, I was not about to reveal to them why I had been so distracted lately. If I told them that I had a Demon shadowing after me and bugging me for my soul, I doubted I would have any “friends” left.
I smiled softly at them, ready to give some bullshit reason as to why I had been acting strangely. I could hardly get a word out before a rude voice interrupted me.
“Cut it out with the bullshit, guys,” Kina spoke up from the side, clearly intoxicated as she laid her lethargic eyes on them.
Kina had always been a lightweight drinker and after two shots of vodka, it was safe to say that she was drunk. It was also safe to say that she was ruder and more abrasive when she was drunk. The only good thing about her drunken state was that she seemed to hate me less. Although I couldn’t complain too much about her being inebriated, I could complain about her bluntness, especially with her next words.
“She’s not going to tell you anything if you’re beating around
the bush.” She looked at Dawn and Ara before swiveling her piercing brown eyes in my direction. “We heard that some random guy tagged along on your date and that guy told DonKi to convince someone else’s girlfriend to cheat with him.”
“DonKi told you that?!” I cried, my eyes wide with shock at this new development. I was so stunned that I could barely retain any acting skills. What the fuck? So they all came here already knowing about what happened on my date?
Kina shrugged. “Well, not exactly. He told Dawn that. I happened to have overheard a little bit when she was turning him down.”
My eyes grew larger. A scandalized gasp escaped my lips when the latter half of the statement rang in my ears. Turned him down?
Oh my God.
I turned to Dawn, whose face was pink with mortification. “You’re the other woman?”
Dawn groaned, face-palming herself. “It’s not like that, Grace.”
“Apparently he’s had a thing for Dawn for a while now,” Ara interrupted. Amusement overfilled her slurring voice. “And apparently he doesn’t care if she’s been with Sun for eight years. He wants a chance with her too.”
“That piece of donkey shit!” I shouted, showing an uncharacteristically immature side from all the alcohol I drank.
My unexpected cussing was not lost on the girls, all of whom were staring at me in bewilderment. I was too livid to care about their dumbfounded reactions. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My mind was going haywire.
My breathing grew heavy and angry when I said, “Why did he ask me out if he was crushing on Dawn the entire time?”
Missy laughed as though I had posed the dumbest question. Like Kina, she was friendlier as a drunk, but unfortunately like Kina, she was also too blunt for my taste. “Isn’t it obvious? He was trying to make her jealous by hooking up with her friend. Since all of us are taken, you were the only choice left.”