We walked around the city, submerging ourselves into the sea of people swarming the streets at night. Reflections of neon signs, car headlights, and streetlights glowed on the surface of the damp pavement that had been touched by rain earlier in the evening. The city had a luminous glow to it and there was a sense of purity in the air that left me feeling sated. Under any other circumstances, I would have dreaded walking outside after a downpour, especially if I was only wearing a party dress and a pair of heels. However, tonight, it felt incredibly nice and perfect. It was so pleasant that when Eclipse suggested that we take a detour to the business district to further enjoy the tranquility of the night, I accepted without a second thought.
The amazing thing about this whole walk was the calm silence emanating from Eclipse. Throughout our journey across the streets that were protected by skyscrapers, he barely said anything. It was a complete 180 from his usual talkative self. Apart from talking about how cold it was and asking me if I wanted to take a little detour, he appeared to be lost in his own world of thoughts as well.
A peaceful stream of smoke swam away from his lips while his eyes silently admired the illuminated world around him.
“I walk around here a lot when you get pissed off at me.” His voice finally penetrated the silence, drawing me out of my stupor.
I turned to him, watching as a small smile graced his lips. He was admiring a beautiful building in the distance.
“Do you really?” It was difficult for me to imagine a Demon doing something so normal—so human.
“Do you think I just go back to my throne when I disappear?” He laughed under his breath, bringing his eyes back down to meet mine. “At night, when I feel that it’s time to leave you alone, I take a pit stop here before I return to my Kingdom.”
“Why?”
“Ahhhh!”
Just as I posed this question, an elderly woman, who was walking in the sea of pedestrians amongst us, suddenly slipped on the damp pavement. Her black handbag escaped her grip as she fell forward with a loud scream. Her face was headed straight towards the unforgiving concrete.
It happened so quickly.
She was on her way down until Eclipse caught her in time, saving her from her misfortune.
“Oh! Thank you so much, dear!” she whispered, no doubt grateful to be saved.
Eclipse smiled kindly, helping her regain her balance. Under the radiance of the night, his beautiful face mirrored the glow of an Angel’s. “It was absolutely no problem.”
The sadistic part of me was disappointed that he saved her. I would have loved to enjoy her misery. I was unhappy with his actions, but for the seconds to follow, this fleeting sadism dissolved with the cold night. To my surprise, I felt warmed to be able to witness him being nice to someone. I couldn’t explain it. Strangely enough, I felt proud of him. I would even go as far as saying that I admired him.
His gracious action was contagious—so much so that even I crouched down, fought the foot traffic that waltzed around the elderly woman’s spilled items, and helped gather her belongings. Once everything was safely packed into her bag, I stood up and handed it to her.
“Thank you so much,” she whispered, looking between Eclipse and I. Her face beamed with gratitude. “God bless you both.”
“No problem, ma’am,” we both said before bowing and continuing with our walk around the business district.
“The first thing you should know is that I look down on your race,” Eclipse told me, answering my previous question about why he took walks around the business district at night. I felt the defensive nerves within me spark up, but I held in the need to defend my race. I remained quiet and allowed him to continue. He smiled lightly and then said, “I look down on your race, but I can honestly say that nothing in this God-given world beats your enthusiasm to challenge the confines of life.” He peered up at all the towering buildings surrounding him. His eyes illumed with genuine admiration. “Your constant desire to find out the limits of the sky, to be grander than you are, and your ability to create works of art in the form of these breathtaking infrastructures is very fascinating. It is the equivalent of ants figuring out how to start fire—it is simply amazing.” As if knowing that it wasn’t appropriate for a Demon of his caliber to speak so positively about humans—even in the smallest dosages—Eclipse smiled self-deprecatingly. “Plus, it’s amazing to be out here at night. The world is so busy. There are thousands of people surrounding you when you walk these streets, but you could still feel alone and lost. It’s a liberating and unsettling feeling mixed into one. But the chaos around here makes it easy for me to categorize my thoughts. At the end of the day, I find it very soothing to be out here, completely lost in the structured chaos.”
“It’s your way of relaxing,” I provided for him.
He nodded before his eyes settled on mine. Curiosity infused the depths of his brown eyes. “What do you do to relax, Teacup?”
“I relax by immersing myself in the misery of others,” I confessed, thinking back to the disappointment I experienced when Eclipse saved that elderly woman. I showcased kindness because, in a perplexed moment, I felt influenced by Eclipse’s unprecedented graciousness. However, much like so many other moments in my life, I could feel my sadism overshadow my kindheartedness. I felt the bitter and cruel sensation return to me. If given a second chance, I would have held Eclipse back from saving her and I would have taken great joy in her fall. Thoughts like these made what was left of my humanity feel ashamed; it made me hate myself for always losing to my sadism.
This was my life—a life filled with contradictions.
I wanted to be a good person, but in the end, I would always be a bad person.
I smiled dryly to myself, my bitter eyes meandering around the busy world surrounding me. The cool wind tousled my hair like waves in an ocean.
“Normal people take walks to relax. For me, I go out to find someone’s misery to enjoy. If I can’t find it organically, then I create it by causing the misery. The only time I can truly relax and enjoy myself is when I’ve had my fill of the misery of others. For example, right now, I’m not happy. I’m actually a bit angry at you for saving that woman and for influencing me to help her. Now all that is running through my head is that I should’ve stopped you so that I could watch her fall on her face and relish in her pain.”
Eclipse grinned in understanding. He was not surprised by this admission. Instead of responding to the elevated anger I harbored for him, he continued along with the former half of my statement. “And you feel nothing when you’re surrounded by these thousands of people? Surely the majority here must be miserable. Why can’t you just enjoy it all here?”
“I’ve tried,” I admitted sadly. “In a place like this, where everyone’s thoughts are all over the place, the emotions are mixed together with the chaos. I feel nothing when I walk around here. It’s all white noise; it is never the music I need.” I shrugged despondently. “I would need everyone out here to be miserable at the same time if I wanted to enjoy their miseries.”
“It must be terrible,” Eclipse mused carelessly, surveying the streets, “to live in a world where you feel so alone amongst your own kind. And to make matters worse, you’re stuck with an addiction that you cannot control.”
It was only after he said this did I realize that I unknowingly opened up more than I should have.
I couldn’t have that.
My eyes sharpened on his cigarette. He was smoking it as though it was his lifeline. His mention of my addiction brought my attention to his. Eclipse had always presented himself to be strong-willed. With his desire for me aside, I couldn’t fathom why he was addicted to smoking. Shouldn’t someone like him be above it?
Sensing my opportunity, I shifted the spotlight to his addiction.
“Why do you smoke?”
Eclipse’s shoulders lifted in a lackadaisical shrug. A lighthearted smile overtook his face and he began to walk backwards. His retreating footsteps mirrored my advancing
footsteps as we continued down the busy street. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“It’s bad for you.”
An entertained glint sparkled in his eyes. “Oh?”
I went on quickly, wanting to beat him at this game and drill into his head that he shouldn’t be smoking. “And it's bad for your heart.”
Smoke and laughter emitted from Eclipse’s entertained face. He kept walking backwards, skillfully maneuvering around people and never bumping into anyone. “My heart is already bad, heartless as some would say.”
I frowned. “It turns your teeth yellow.”
He smiled, flashing his pearly white teeth as a wordless contradiction to my warning.
“It’s bad for your lungs.”
He continued to walk at a brisk pace, not even breaking a sweat. It was his silent and arrogant way of telling me that his lungs were fine.
Not giving up, I pilfered through my mind for the bad consequences of smoking. I hastily added, “And it gives you bad breath!”
He stopped at once, nearly causing me to crash into him. My heels bumped into his shoes, bringing me to a complete stop. In a fluid motion, while a blur of people, cars, and nightlife dimmed in the background, he bent down slightly, gave me one of his breathtaking smiles, and took it upon himself to decadently blow smoke into my face.
“Tell me, Teacup,” he purred, his lips just above the tip of my nose. He pecked it gently, causing my cheeks to enflame. With a soft whisper, he asked, “Do I have bad breath?”
Instead of coughing in disgust as I had anticipated, I breathed in the smoke. I inhaled the most wonderful scent I could ever dream of smelling. I found myself eager for more when the smoke dissolved under the weight of the cold air. I was captivated, but I was also rational enough to know when I was in a precarious predicament. Without hesitation, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away to put some distance between us. I couldn’t let myself be affected by his charms. It was getting tiring to consciously force myself to push him away when all I wanted was to be close to him. Regardless, it was the best tactic I could come up with when faced with an adversary like Eclipse who radiated physical extravagance.
“What kind of cigarette is that anyway?” I asked faintly, trying to change the subject. My brows furrowed in genuine curiosity. “Why doesn’t it smell bad?”
“This,” he answered, taking the cigarette out of his lips and taking a second to gaze at it, “is a very special cigarette.”
“It’s not bad for you,” I supplied, and he nodded before continuing down the sidewalk. I followed closely beside him. “It doesn’t have any negative effects on you?”
“No,” he conceded with slight amusement. He placed the cigarette back in his mouth and continued to smoke it. “Unlike your race, my race is a bit smarter. We do not create anything to kill us; we merely create things to entertain and benefit us.”
I frowned at another one of his casual disses to my race, but relented in arguing when his criticism was well warranted. As it would appear, we were the only race stupid enough to create things that can kill us rather than benefit us. Stupidity was stupidity. You couldn’t defend that.
“What are the benefits of smoking that cigarette?” I asked, staring at it as the end lit up and a fog of smoke coursed away from his lips.
“It has a calming effect on me,” he provided casually. “Plus, it’s become a bad habit of sorts.” Then, as though arriving at the destination he had been seeking all night, Eclipse stopped in a quiet part of the street. His eyes gazed up at the infrastructure that stood across from us. I looked up too and observed that it was the building that he had been admiring all night. It was one of the highest buildings on the block.
“Let’s go up there,” he suggested, his excited eyes staring up at the edifice like it was a work of art.
I gave him a strange look. I recalled my extreme fear of heights and felt my body quake. “Excuse me?”
“To the roof of this building,” he clarified, his eyes still staring upwards. “The view must be nice. I want to see it.”
“Wh-what?” My eyes bloomed wide at his possible tactic of getting us up there. He wasn’t suggesting demonic stuff, was he? I was afraid of heights, but I was more afraid of demonic magic. “How will we get up there?”
He laughed and brought his gaze back down to me. “By taking the elevator, of course.”
He made it sound so obvious that it made me feel a bit silly for thinking that he was going to use magic to get us up there. Though I was relieved we were given a pardon from playing around with his demonic powers, I grew more paranoid at the phobia I had of heights.
“But . . . but isn’t the building rigged with alarms?” I voiced as my subtle way of telling him that I really didn’t want to go up there.
He grinned, stepping closer to the building and waving a graceful hand over the locked doors. At his command, the once locked doors parted like the red sea and obediently slid open for him. “You were saying?”
I grimaced, not knowing what to say. I had never done anything like this and I was so afraid. I was afraid of my phobia getting the best of me, I was afraid of breaking down, and I was afraid of getting in trouble if we got caught. I was feeling extremely apprehensive until Eclipse gave me an assuring smile.
“You’re drunk, and as it would seem, you’re about to die soon. Everything done tonight is forgivable and understandable. So why not say to Hell with your fears and be a bit rebellious with me?” His gentle eyes effortlessly held mine. “It would be a good memory to have before you die, yes? To fight all your fears and overcome them, if only for a night?”
Something in the way he said this quelled my fears. I was afraid, but I also felt brave enough to combat those fears, especially with Eclipse’s words as my catalyst.
“I am drunk.” It was more of an uncertain question than a statement, but it was enough to ignite the engine within me.
I’m about to die, I reasoned to myself. I should do something naughty and brave while I’m alive.
With a tentative smile of consent, I hurried into the building with him and dashed to the awaiting elevator where we were whisked up to the highest floor. From there, we climbed the remaining stairway. Before I could consider the implications of my rebellious actions, I felt the wind run over me once Eclipse opened the door to the roof. We were instantly gifted with one of the most gorgeous views I would ever see in my lifetime.
I hesitantly stepped onto the surface of the roof and felt the world around me vibrate with life. Under the canopy of the star-infused sky, the twinkling vista of Seoul in all its incandescent glory left me breathless. I felt like I was swimming in an ocean of lights. The powerful wind glided all around us, its numbing embrace causing goose bumps to form on my body. I should have been shuddering, but it was the opposite. I felt refreshed and, strangely enough, I also felt liberated. I was lucky to be wearing a skin-tight dress because no matter how violent the wind, it did little to nudge the fabric of my provocative dress. This small blessing was heavily appreciated because I did not want to flash a sexually frustrated Demon while we were on top of the world.
We reached the edge of the building, and I felt my heart jump in my throat. My astonished eyes reflected the magnificence of the city below. Despite the beauty, my phobia for heights came back at full speed, and I went into panic mode. Oh my God. What was I thinking coming up here? Was I out of my mind?
Sensing my fear, Eclipse reached out his hand and stroked my quivering cheek. His dark eyes ebbed with a warmness that chased away all the fear within me.
“If you fall, then I’ll catch you.”
I stopped trembling.
It was such a simple statement, but for me, it felt so powerful. In that instant, I had never felt safer. I didn’t ask him the mechanisms by which he planned on “catching me.” I didn’t need to. There was such conviction in his gaze that I did not doubt him. So with that fear calmed, I followed his lead and sat down beside him on the edge of the building. I was still fee
ling nervous, but it was infinitely better than what I felt seconds prior.
Giving me an ample amount of time to adjust to my new setting, Eclipse said nothing while we sat there with our legs hanging over the edge of the skyscraper. Our eyes silently lingered on the twinkling city breathing around us.
After a long moment, I grew comfortable, and as impossible as it sounded, I felt happier as I stared down at the world below me. While walking down there with everyone, I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong. But sitting up here, staring down at the world from high above, I felt like this was where I belonged.
“I wish I had the power to disappear like you, to be able to physically escape from my problems with a mere thought.”
The words escaped me before I could filter them. I regretted it immediately.
“You know you can have that,” Eclipse responded, capitalizing on my momentary lapse in judgment. My inadvertent reminder of his task on earth ruined the serene moment we shared. “You know that you can have all of that if you’d give me your consent.”
“I don’t want to turn into a Demon,” I told him firmly.
Eclipse merely smirked. He redirected his attention and stared wistfully at the city lights beneath us. He breathed in a lungful of his cigarette.
“You don’t belong in this world, Gracie,” he began pensively. “Being a broken human may be in your nurtured nature, but it isn’t in your blood. You’d be happier in a world where you can be yourself, where you don’t have to hide behind the mask of being someone you’re not.”
“You speak as if you know so much about me, but I know nothing about you,” I told him, recalling his earlier question in the night about why I disliked him so much. Feeling strangely free and unrestrained up here, I finally chose to enlighten him about why I hated being around him.