“Yay! Okay, okay!” the kids cheered, breaking out of their single-file line.
Gleeful giggles whipped past me as they headed straight for the coffee table area. They went to town, annihilating the shopping bags by ripping all the goodies out.
As my rambunctious little soldiers became distracted with the duties I assigned them, Sony and I were already running down the stairs to do some much-needed shopping.
“There is a royal more powerful than you.”
0 4: Next Time, Buy a Ferrari
“Grace, when is your school’s Fall Break? Is it the same as mine?”
Walking side by side down the dessert aisle of the grocery store, Sony’s eager eyes were looking left and right. His hands curled covetously while he eyed his prizes.
After entering the store, I had told him that I planned on buying more snacks for the shelter. I also told him that because he was my shopping buddy today, he was also in charge of stocking up on whatever supply that was needed for the snack room. I knew it was a responsibility that Sony enjoyed because as soon as I told him this, he was already wreaking havoc through the store, throwing in item after item of edible goodness into the cart.
“Yeah, it’s the same,” I answered him, trying to avoid making direct eye contact with all the delicious looking junk food that surrounded us.
Much like Sony, if my hands weren’t pushing the shopping cart, I’d curl them covetously as well. How could one not when in the company of such delicious sins?
“I just have to get through my exams and then I can enjoy it.”
Sony shifted uneasily once he appraised everything that was in the cart. He looked up at me tentatively.
“Grace, are you sure we don’t have too much stuff? I don’t think the shelter has this much money.”
I smiled reassuringly, impressed that a child so young was already careful with spending too much money.
“There’s no budget, Sony,” I told him honestly. I planned on expensing this from my own bank account. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Just buy whatever you need.”
With my assurance as his cushion, he nodded with a relieved smile.
“Are you sure all of this is enough?” I asked once he informed me that he had made all the necessary purchases for Sanctuary. “You don’t want to buy a couple more sketchbooks and games for yourself?”
Sony shook his head. His young mind was already focused on something else he wanted to do more. “It’s enough. Let’s go buy pumpkins now!”
“Yes, sir,” I said playfully, pushing my cart after him.
He hurried towards the entrance of the store where all the pumpkins were sold.
“Oh!” he squeaked upon remembering the conversation we had before we went off topic. “Will you be going to Busan to hang out with your family for Fall Break then? You haven’t seen them in a while, right?”
He looked up at me innocently, unaware that I was going to lie to him and that I was going to do a wonderful job at it.
Without giving any telltale sign that I was lying, I parted my lips and allowed the lies to swim out of my mouth with ease. “Yeah! I’m really excited because I haven’t seen my parents or my older siblings in a while. My older brother and sister made me promise that I’d visit soon so I’m planning on going during Fall Break.”
When I made the decision to keep my last name after I was released from the psychiatric hospital, I knew I would have to do everything in my power to dissociate myself from the news of the six-year-old who slayed her entire family. As a means to protect myself, I would lie (with elaborate and airtight details) about a family who lived in Busan and a family that I was very close to.
One would think this would be difficult to lie about. In all honesty, it was so easy to lie to everyone because I had never let anyone in. Although I was known as a “sweet and nice” girl, I did not allow anyone to get close to me. Because of this distance, none of my “friends” ever questioned my lies. Why would they? The truth is: humans are inherently easy to fool, especially if you look acceptable and morally just to them. And no one was better at putting on a fake mask and acting like an ordinary person than me.
Unbeknownst to him about what was going on in my thoughts, Sony beamed up at me. His face was completely innocent and void of doubt about me and my lies. “You really love your family, don’t you, Grace?”
I gave him a smile that matched his. “Just as much as you love your mom.”
That was another lie.
Sony loved his mom more than the world itself, and in turn, I loved everything in the world more than my own family. It was a sad fact—one that I would never impart onto Sony. He was far too innocent; he didn’t need to know that awful people like me actually existed in this world.
I parked the shopping cart at the sliding doors that led out to the pumpkin display. Excited for his pumpkin-shopping excursion, Sony no longer dwelled on the topic about families. He was too distracted by the vast display of pumpkins. Bless children and their short-attention spans.
“How many do we want, Grace?” he squeaked out.
“Fifteen,” I answered, grabbing another empty cart to put the pumpkins in. I wanted to buy enough for the kids, their mothers, and for the volunteers to participate in. I had planned on making the pumpkin carving the big event of the day and I couldn’t be more excited to go all out. “Get the big fat ones.”
And Sony did just that.
Being the conductor of the afternoon, Sony took his job seriously by inspecting every pumpkin for blemishes and any other imperfections. His selections were meticulous. Pumpkin after pumpkin that went into our shopping cart could only be categorized as perfection at its best. Grabbing onto each plump pumpkin that was far too big for him to carry, Sony never slowed down as he rushed over to me.
For my part, I would dutifully relieve him of the pumpkins and strategically place the pumpkins into the cart to make room for the others. The system was going well until I took my eyes off Sony for a fleeting second.
A loud scream rocked the world around me.
Thump!
“Ahhhhh! Fuck! You little piece of shit!”
“I-I’m sorry—”
A loud slap followed the apology.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
I snapped my head back after hearing that earsplitting slap. I cast my frantic eyes back to the pumpkins display. I zeroed in on the scene before me. A man in his forties, who was dressed in a tacky-looking yellow leather jacket and dark dress pants, was cradling his toe. He was moaning in pain while a pumpkin that was far too big for Sony to carry lay beside his feet.
It didn’t take long for me to deduce that Sony had spotted another champion pumpkin that he wanted for the shelter and misjudged his ability to carry its weight. I could envision him running in excitement, only to realize the pumpkin was far too heavy for him. As a result, he dropped it, only to have it fall directly over the toe of the man next to him. As this likely scenario played out in my mind, I felt my blood boil when my gaze landed on Sony. He was cradling the side of his head, his small little body quivering in absolute fear. I felt every protective instinct within me flare up at the sight of the tears bubbling in his eyes. That bastard had slapped him against the head.
Though a small part of me—the sadistic part—found entertainment in seeing them in pain, the bigger and more powerful part of me was livid. Sony and his mother were nearly beaten to death by his poor excuse of a father. It took all the courage they had to leave their home and flee to Sanctuary. It had only been two months since Sony came to the shelter. Though he was the one who smiled the most, I knew that out of all the children, he was the most miserable. He lived in constant fear of his father coming to kill him. I could only imagine how getting slapped by this bastard only exacerbated those fears.
I instantly rushed over to comfort him.
“Sony. Sony, are you okay?” I kneeled in front of a crying Sony. I placed my fingers over the hand that was cradling his newly assault
ed head.
Fury rose inside me.
Who the fuck hits a kid with such maliciousness when it was only an accident?
It was a pathetic sight to see a grown man behave like this. I was embarrassed that Sony had to experience this guy’s shortcomings firsthand. That bastard. Unable to contain my outrage, I stood up and faced the man. By now, Sony was hiding behind me, fearing that the man would come after him again.
“Did you really have to hit him like that?” I asked critically, staring at him through his thick bifocals. “He’s just a kid.”
Albeit the sight of the man acting like a little bitch was embarrassing, you were about to see an even more pathetic sight: the act of me cowering away when the man shot his ferocious glare to me.
“Fuck you, bitch,” he spat, giving no regard to the fact that there was a child standing behind me.
I held my breath, thunderstruck by his hostility. I was shocked with how he was speaking to me. I had never had another human being speak to me like this before. I couldn’t breathe or even blink as he went on, shocking me further with his viciousness.
“If you had done a better job watching his ass, then we wouldn’t have a problem, would we?” He glared at Sony, whose shuddering grew exponentially stronger under his heated glare. The man angrily pushed his gold-rimmed glasses up to his nose. “The little piece of shit is lucky I didn’t kick him in the face and show him what’s right.”
There were a million things I wanted to snap back at him. I wanted to yell at him, I wanted to hit him, I wanted to bash him over the head with a pumpkin for being a jackass . . . but when it all came down to it, all I did was feel my spine shrink away. I simply stood there in silence, bringing no justice to the pain Sony experienced and embarrassing myself in front of the child I was supposed to stand up for. I had never felt more ashamed of myself. I could enjoy people’s miseries and hurt them behind their backs, but when face-to-face with someone, all I found myself to be was weak and pathetic.
I could feel Sony shake even more behind me, fearing that the man would hit me as well. More shame hovered over me. When a kid fears for your safety as opposed to his own, then you know you have failed as his protector. Suddenly the courageous girl who was standing up to a handsome stranger in my dream last night felt even more nonexistent. I was back to being a pushover, and in this scenario, I was a spineless coward.
No words came out of me.
I didn’t say anything because I had no courage to.
My reply became inconsequential because another voice had already crept into the scene.
“Is that really the appropriate way to talk to a lady?” the voice asked. There was composure and civility within the intonation of the voice, but there was also steel lining inside it. “Especially when there is a child standing behind her?”
“And why is it your business with how I speak to this bitch?” the bastard incited, moving away from me to address the good Samaritan.
I felt someone brush past me to face the annoying bastard. I looked to my right to finally lay eyes on our savior.
Standing slightly in front of us, our chivalrous defender was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and blue jeans that fitted him perfectly, accentuating his tall and thin frame. His long black hair was tied in a half ponytail, the length resting just above his broad shoulders. I couldn’t see the features of his face because his back was turned to me, but judging by how that t-shirt wrapped around his skinny body, I couldn’t fathom this guy being able to take the fully built bastard if they got into a fight. Though, considering the annoying bastard looked like he was well into his forties and this guy appeared as though he was only in his mid-twenties, the young one might win for stamina alone. Regardless of his physical build, his height overshadowed the other man’s and his demeanor more than made him look intimidating. The authoritative aura that emanated from him was hard to miss. There was something about him that was powerful and extremely foreboding.
“Stay out of this,” the yellow-jacket-wearing-jackass warned him. “Or else I’ll—”
“What?” our defender challenged. He took a step closer and stared the man down. “You’ll do what? You’ll slap the back of my head like you did that poor kid? You’ll belittle me? What will you do to me?”
Every word that he punctuated had steel in it, an underlying promise that if that bastard were to utter one wrong word to him, he would break his bones apart. It was an admonishment that I knew the bastard heeded. Apprehension and uncertainty began to cloud his eyes.
When the other man said nothing, our defender calmly, but commandingly, added, “You should walk away now.”
The man smirked, trying to pretend that he wasn’t afraid. “You know what? You’re not even worth it.”
With a sneer, he glanced at Sony and me. Then, with one final expression of irritation, he sauntered into the store like he hadn’t abused an innocent child and cursed a girl who was half his age. He had no shame.
I was disgusted. I was disgusted with him and I was disgusted with myself. We were poor examples of how adults should behave; the bastard being needlessly crass and me being needlessly spineless. The only semblance of a good example of how adults should conduct themselves was the nice Samaritan standing before us.
“Thank you,” I said appreciatively, averting my focus back to him. “That was really nice of you. You didn’t have to do what you did, but thank you. We really appreciate it.”
When he turned around to face me, I felt the breath escape me.
He was very good-looking.
His face was skinny and well defined, structured strategically to fit him and his body type. The only deterrents on his face would be the semi-dark shadows under his eyes and the hollowness of his cheeks. However, those weren’t big deterrents. If anything, they actually brought character to his visage and made him all the more unique. There was this “I-don’t-care-about-anything” ambiance to him. He looked rugged, unkempt, lackadaisical, and dangerous, and it all fit him perfectly. All these qualities, though imperfect singularly, somehow came together harmoniously for him. It made him all the more attractive.
He was not usually the type of guy I’d go for, but I had to admit that I really liked what I saw.
He gave me a warm smile that lit up his handsome face. “No problem.” He looked compassionately from me to Sony, who stayed rooted behind me. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t do more to help.”
“You’ve done more than enough,” I replied swiftly, beaming gratefully at him. “Thank you again. Both of us really appreciate it.”
He nodded, his smile still kind on me. “You’re welcome.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else. Then, as if deciding against it when a gust of wind blew past us, he merely bequeathed Sony and I with a small hand wave, inclined his head at us, and chivalrously said, “Don’t let him ruin your day. Have a good one.”
With that, he grabbed a shopping basket from the side and made his way into the store, leaving Sony and I outside alone.
I took a second to stare after him. I wondered how someone could possess such strength to stand up for total strangers when I couldn’t do it for myself or Sony. I felt the shame return to me, along with the anger. When I felt Sony move behind me, my attention moved away from the bastard who ruined our day, the kind Samaritan who stood up for us, and my own inadequacies—it was solely focused on Sony, who I belatedly realized must have still been terrified.
“Hey Sony, how you doing?” I asked gently, crouching down to face him at eye level.
“Better,” he said faintly. He sniffled to himself and stared at me with teary eyes. “It was my fault, Grace. I dropped it on his toes . . .”
“It was an accident,” I corrected sternly, placing my hand on his cheek as a means of comforting him. “He was just a big crybaby. It wasn’t your fault at all.” I went on, doing my best to make him feel better. His misery was sustenance to my hungry soul, but poison to the very fibers that made me human. I didn’t want hi
m to cry. “Hey, why don’t you go wait in the cab first?” I suggested, knowing that he’d probably feel better in a new environment. “I’m going to pay for everything and I’ll meet you there, okay?”
Eager to step away from the grocery store and possibly relieved to be able to go into hiding, Sony nodded in agreement. Smiling, I herded him to the cab, asked the nice cab driver to watch him for a moment, and then raced back to pay for all the items in our cart. After doing so, I ran back with all the grocery bags and was greeted by Sony. He eagerly helped me unload all the bags into the trunk. That was the thing I adored about Sony. He could be absolutely devastated about something, but regardless of his own misery, he never allowed an opportunity to pass where he could help someone else.
Once we unloaded the last grocery bag into the trunk, I announced to Sony and our cab driver that I had forgotten to buy something else for the pumpkin carving.
“I’ll be right back!”
I skidded away, running back into the store to buy the final crucial items for the pumpkin carving. After hurrying back into the store for the supplies I needed, I ran out of the store in haste. I didn’t want Sony and our cab driver to wait too long for me. However, instead of running in the direction of the cab, I found myself in the back corner of the parking lot where all the other cars were parked.
I didn’t want them to wait long—so I was going to do this fast.
Retribution cloaked my eyes as I made my way down the row of cars. My observant eyes roamed over the plethora of cars surrounding me. As though beckoning for my attention, a yellow Lamborghini illuminated under the glare of the overcast sky.
In a parking lot filled with neutral colored cars, it more than stood out, and it more than became apparent to me that this was the car I was looking for. I knew right away that the car belonged to that jackass. No imbecile would sport a yellow leather jacket unless they had an expensive car of the same hue to match. It was tacky, but idiots did it, and I knew he was one of them.