It took all my willpower to not roll my eyes. I was certain I was going to keel over from this guy’s big ego.
“You have a very big head,” I commented, unable to contain my irritation. “Did you know that?”
This made him laugh. He wasn’t offended by my comment. If anything, he was charmed by it. “Would you expect any less from the son of the prideful Lucifer?”
From what I heard about Lucifer and his oversized pride, I imagined it would only make sense if his spawn followed that same characteristic. I didn’t expect any less from the spawn of Satan himself, but I wasn’t about to accept it or allow him to think it was okay either.
“Do people actually like you?” I incited, wanting to hurt his feelings because I was still bitter that he insulted my willpower (or allegedly lack thereof). “Your oversized ego is a turn off.” I gulped uneasily and hastily added, “And I don’t like you.”
His lips lifted into a grin. Intent on getting back on my good side, he said, “Then I should endeavor to change your mind, shouldn’t I?” When I didn’t return his playful smile with a favorable reaction, the Demon sighed and said, “Don’t the people of your race have a saying? ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’? Do you think it’s fair that you’re placing so much judgment on me when you don’t even know me?”
“You’re a Demon,” I dismissed. “Human sayings are not applicable to you.”
He made a rude noise at my dismissal.
“Typical human,” he murmured stiffly. “The youngest of God’s creations and the most ignorant ones. The ones who deem themselves to know everything when in truth, you all know nothing.” He arched an ironic brow at me. “Who has the bigger ego now, Gracie? A Demon of my caliber or a human of your—” He stopped to find the most politically correct term. Whereas he was insulting with his terms before, he made sure that he was very careful with the one he picked out. He wanted to make his point, not hurt my feelings. “Current standing?” There was amused bitterness in his voice when he added, “Perhaps I shouldn’t disappoint the preconceived notions you seem to already have of me now should I, Gracie? Perhaps I should show you how evil I could be.”
A frightened trigger went off inside me. Oh God. What was I doing? Why on earth was I butting heads with a Demon? Why was I insulting him when I should be scared shitless? Did I have a death wish?!
Fear drenched my eyes once I realized the fatal mistake I had made, and when the Demon caught the fear in my eyes, he softened his critical gaze. It was in his nature to defend himself, but he didn’t want to scare me and further alienate me from him.
Smiling nervously as a means to show me that he was completely harmless and that he would never hurt me, he cleverly moved the conversation along.
He answered the question I posed earlier about whether or not people actually liked him. “I’ve been told that I’m an acquired taste. For the ones who are able to tolerate my blunt personality, they actually find me to be very charming, despite the flawed ego and exhaustive character traits. If anything, I seem to be everyone’s favorite. So to answer your question, yes, people do find me to be endearing—flaws and all.”
He expelled a long breath before wrapping all that up and tossing it aside. It was time to get to business. He was no longer in the mood to prolong the inevitable.
“Enough about me, I think it’s time we refocus our attention on the most important thing in this room: you and the reason why I’m here in the first place.”
Ice-cold chills ran down my spine.
Oh my flying pig. This Demon was completely serious about turning me into a Demon!
I shook my head at him, my lips trembling. Despite the fact that a big part of me found him to be endearing as opposed to dangerous, I couldn’t misplace the knowledge that he was here for my soul. I knew all too well that I couldn’t trust a Demon. The cost of trusting him would cost me my life—literally. I couldn’t fall for his games; I could never give him my soul.
“I-I don’t want to lose my soul,” I attempted to tell him firmly, my voice quivering when I locked eyes with him. “I don’t want to play any demonic games, I don’t want to make any deals, I don’t want to be involved in dark magic or whatever. I’ve seen way too many movies and read too many books to know that nothing good comes out of making a deal with a Demon.” I shook my head more fervently, hoping the added display of distaste would get it through his skull that my answer was “no.” “I don’t want to be a Demon. I want to be a normal person, so please, just please leave me alone. Go after someone else’s soul because I want to keep mine.”
Unfazed by my refusal, he merely tilted his head. His perceptive eyes scrutinized me with interest.
“Do you ever wonder why the most evil people in this world appear to live the longest and most prosperous lives, Gracie?”
I said nothing because I truthfully didn’t care.
Still unfazed by my obvious lack of interest, he forged on, his voice filled with charm that held my undivided attention. “Don’t you ever wonder why the good people are the ones who are plagued with poverty, cancer, diseases, and every other malady there is while the evil ones appear unharmed and immune to all those curses?”
I remained silent, allowing him to further enlighten me.
“They’ve all made a deal with my brethren; they’ve all made a deal with the ‘Devil’ as the popular saying goes.”
“I already have all the money in the world and I’m as healthy as can be,” I told him quickly. I wasn’t some poor desperate soul who was looking for a new station in life. I was very happy with everything that I had been blessed with. “I don’t need any deals.”
Something about my words caused a light to change in his eyes. However, instead of telling me why he was perturbed by my words, he prompted another series of questions to further persuade me into becoming a Demon.
“Have you ever felt different, Gracie? Like you don’t belong?”
“No,” I lied. The truth was: I had felt different. But who didn’t feel different at this day and age? It’s the twenty-first century; everyone and their dogs felt different and felt like they didn’t belong.
Undeterred, he probed on. “No?”
I shook my head.
“So you’ve never felt like your fellow human beings merely exist for your entertainment?”
I shook my head.
“You’ve never purposely given a hundred dollars to a homeless man knowing that he would get beaten to near death for it?”
On the surface, I shook my head like I had no idea what he was talking about. Inside, I was shaking at the possibility of him knowing all the terrible things I had done.
“You’ve never vandalized the Lamborghini of a bastard who pissed you off?”
I felt beads of sweat form as I swayed my head from side to side again. I desperately wanted him to stop bringing this up.
“You’ve never volunteered at a shelter—not because you wanted to help people—but because you enjoy immersing yourself in their misery?”
Even though I was shaking my head, I could tell by the expression on Eclipse’s face that he knew I was lying. Then, with much satisfaction, he used the trump card to finally force a reaction out of me.
“You’ve never not felt any emotions, much less sadness, towards the death of your own family?”
My eyes expanded, and Eclipse smiled, knowing he had me where he wanted me.
“Yes, Gracie, I know what happened. I know that when you were six, you did the unthinkable. I know you killed your parents, your sister, and your brother. You killed them ruthlessly, savagely, and possibly even with a smile on your angelic face. You’ve become nothing short of a prized human in my world because of this. Everyone wants a piece of you. Needless to say, you’re famous.”
“Is that why you’re here?” I asked, at long last breaking out of my silence. “Is that why you say it’s your job to help me fulfill my destiny by turning me into a Demon? Because you think I’m immoral—that I actually killed my famil
y?”
“Think that you killed your family?” There was interest in his eyes with my choice of words. He tilted his head in curiosity. “Are you insinuating that you didn’t?”
“Well,” I began uncomfortably, feeling odd that I was having a conversation about my family’s massacre nearly fifteen years later, “I-I don’t remember.” I fumbled with my words, the very words that had become a mantra to me during the days of my court proceedings. “I don’t remember, but I know—I just know that I didn’t.”
He watched me skeptically, and I quickly went on to defend myself.
“Look, I know I have sadistic tendencies, but I never took it any further than playing pranks on people and immersing myself in other people’s miseries. I’ve never and will never kill anyone. With my family, even though I don’t feel anything for them, I know I didn’t kill them. I just know I didn’t.”
“You don’t have any memory of what happened that night,” he concluded indifferently. He let out a bored breath. “Very interesting, but of no importance to me.”
My insides twisted with how he was behaving towards me, like I was a broken record spewing out white noise that didn’t fit in with reality. Breathing heavily, it took all my courage to look up at him and ask something that I truly didn’t want to know the answer to.
“So I really did kill them? You know this for a fact?”
He stared down at me questioningly. “Do you really want to know or is that just a bullshit question that I should fabricate a lie for?”
“Yes,” I replied hesitantly, my eyes pleading for an answer. “Tell me the truth. Did I kill them?”
He regarded me for a long second before saying, “Yes.”
This simple confirmation from the spawn of Satan tilted my world on its axis.
Damn it.
I wasn’t feeling guilty or sad about the new development. It was just that after all these years of denying that I didn’t kill them, it rocked me with how I found out the truth—from a Demon, a supernatural entity himself. Damn. It couldn’t be denied anymore. Like Officer Joo said in the interrogation room: who else could it have been?
Frustration rose within me while I absorbed all of this. Fuck. My only claim to a sense of normalcy with my “sadistic” tendencies was that I had never physically harmed or killed anyone. Surely killing my entire family ruined my image. I was not only a sadistic person, but I was also a murderer. I was most certainly not normal.
“But I was so small,” I said faintly, still not wanting to admit the truth, “how could I kill everyone?”
“Why act like you care?” he dismissed offhandedly, clearly not a fan of tangents. “We both know you don’t give a damn whether they’re alive or not. There’s no point in faking shock. Deep down, whether or not you were in denial, you knew that it was you. There’s no point in mulling over stuff you don’t really give a damn about. It’s a waste of time.”
I glared at him. Even though he was right about me not giving a damn, I didn’t need him to say it out loud.
“I’m sadistic,” I snapped back, “but that doesn’t mean I have no interest in trying to figure out how the hell I managed to kill my entire family and wound up in the insane asylum in the process.”
My face was rippling with anger. Yeah, I didn’t care about what happened to them, but I was in a goddamn mental institution for ten years. I deserved to be able to ask questions if I wanted to, and no one, Demon or otherwise, could tell me what to do.
Mentally chastising himself for upsetting me, Eclipse softened his expression and nodded in apology.
“Look, don’t worry about it, Gracie,” he appeased tactfully, smart enough to know what tone of voice to use to calm the fury inside me. “It happened, you’ve moved on, and the world has moved on. Now bigger and better things have come your way. So how about we focus on the more important things and talk about your future?”
Leave it to the great Demon of Lust to revert us back onto the topic of him persuading me to become a Demon.
“I’m not giving you my soul,” I said with firm resolve. The death of my family and my responsibility for it didn’t impair my judgment. I didn’t give a damn if I was disturbed enough to kill them when I was younger. I may still be slightly disturbed now, but I wasn’t stupid enough to give up my soul to the first Demon who asked for it.
“What’s the big deal, Gracie?” He was genuinely perplexed with my stubbornness. “You humans place so much emphasis on your souls when it does nothing for you. Why do you want to keep it so badly?”
“Why should I give it up then if it means nothing?” I retorted in a caustic tone, feeling extremely territorial. “Why do you want it so much?”
“Because you cannot become a Demon if you have one,” he countered dryly. Despite his growing impatience, never once did he lose the charm in his voice. “And since I’m trying to turn you into a Demon, I would very much appreciate you not having a soul so I can succeed.”
“Well, my answer remains the same,” I clipped out, no longer wanting to linger on this subject. This conversation was getting nowhere and I was in no mood to have it anymore. How many times did he need to be rejected before he got the point? I swallowed tightly and continued with my efforts to appear brave. “Anyway, I’ve already refused your offer several times. Is this the part where you leave me alone?”
Clearly biting back a curse at my stubbornness, he closed his eyes in slight annoyance before composing himself. He opened his eyes and looked at me with compromise in his gaze.
“I’ll tell you what,” he launched in apparent understanding, “I know that this is a lot to ask. It was silly and insensitive on my part to rush this on you and expect you to give a decision right away. As a token of my apology, I’ll give you the night to think it over. I’ll come back tomorrow for your answer. Does that sound fair?”
I wanted to throw a tantrum and ask him why he couldn’t simply leave me alone. I vetoed that idea because I knew that would get me nowhere.
Maintaining my composure as well, I humored him and asked, “What if my answer is still the same?”
“Then lucky for you, I’m not the type of Demon who likes to take ‘no’ as an answer, Gracie.” He leaned in, giving me a heavenly whiff of his scent before he moved his lips to my ear. His hot breath sent sparks of electricity flying throughout my body when he added, “You should know that Demons are known to be very persuasive creatures. You should also know that if I want something, then I always get it.”
I felt goose bumps form on my body. I stared at him, tentativeness dwelling in my eyes. “How are you planning to persuade me if I say ‘no’?”
He offered me a slow, dangerous smile that a predator would give to the prey it was certain it would catch. It was a smile that sent chills through my body. He didn’t say anything, but I already knew his answer: he would do whatever it took to persuade me.
“Have a good night, Gracie,” he bid captivatingly.
In an instant, he was gone. The only remnant of his existence was the cigarette burning away on my desk.
Left alone in the silence of my bedroom, my widened eyes scanned the room. It continued to baffle my mind that someone could appear and disappear within the blink of an eye. I felt my breath become raggedy.
Damn it.
I succumbed to the weakening of my legs and listlessly sat down on the cushion of my bed. I stared at my stunned reflection on the window. Behind the glass, I could see the twinkling city vibrating with life. It was a complete contrast to the paleness that had overtaken my face. My heart was racing and the sudden silence I had been left with was not making matters better. How does one process this information gracefully?
Fragmented, my eyes continued to gaze out the window. Though the beauty of the city vista was enthralling, the only thought ruminating through my mind was that it had finally been confirmed: I was the one who killed my own family.
This revelation should have been mind-blowing because I had been denying it all my life. On the con
trary, the confirmation from Eclipse only supplied me with more reasons to feel bitter. I was the one who killed them, and because of this travesty, a Demon was now after me. He had been sent to retrieve my soul—to ultimately bring me to Hell where my soul would burn for the remaining eternity as punishment for my sins against my own family.
Closing my eyes in misery, I buried my face in my palms and felt the wretchedness drown me.
I had always hated Sunday nights for the simple fact that it was the prelude for the start of another tiring week of school. To my dismay, this particular Sunday night was by far the worst I’d ever had.
Not knowing what else to do but sleep my misery away, I threw myself onto my pillow, punched it several times, and then allowed the lavishness of slumber to take me away from this shithole of a reality.
I didn’t know it then, but that was one of the last “normal” nights of my life. Even though realizing that Demons existed was scary and meeting Eclipse was scarier, it could never compare to all the horrors that were waiting for me in the future.
There were bigger things to come, and to this day, I wish I had been more prepared for it.
“But you cannot win against him.”
0 7: Twist of Luck
I couldn’t sleep a wink that night.
If you had asked me a couple of days ago whether or not I believed in the existence of Demons, I would have diplomatically told you that I didn’t and kindly asked if you did. After that I would have ran to the corner and giggled behind your back for being moronic enough to ask such an improbable question.