“Thanks, Leo. That means so much. Have a seat. I wanted to tell you that I am so impressed with how well everything is running. Your buying trip was crazy successful, and I see you’ve scored four more that should be huge for Decadent Darling.”
“Thanks. I have to say that I’ve been worried about not accomplishing some of the administrative issues. Sorry about the stack of mail I didn’t get to.” He nods to the large stack of unopened envelopes on my desk.
“That’s on me, Leo. No problem. Why I called you in here was to talk to you about your future at Decadent Darling. I am going to need to step away for a little while. Be more in the background, if you will. I wanted to see if you were interested in becoming a full-partner with me. I know how much you love the shop, and it will be hard to run it with everything I have going on.”
“Are you serious?” he asks smiling.
“Yes, it would actually be a great relief for me to know that you’re here. If you can, and are willing, start interviewing for a new sales associate to train to take your place.”
Laughing, he comes around my desk to hug me. “You won’t regret this.”
“I know I won’t. Now, go share the good news.”
I smile as I watch him leave. Looking at the personal stack of unopened mail, I groan as I grab a large manila envelope to open. It is addressed to me, it doesn’t have a return address. Weird. I cut the top open and empty it to find a photo of me and Nick. The words “whore” and “bitch” are scribbled across, the same as my car that is now repainted and sitting in my parking space. Well, I guess that answers why I’m getting them. It is probably one of Nick’s psycho fans. Great! Actually, I know I should be concerned, and I am, but it’s also a relief to know it’s linked to Nick instead of some psychotic gangster rapper who’s after me.
Reaching into my purse, I retrieve Officer Chandler’s number and call to report this. He actually says he is in the vicinity and offers to swing by to pick it up. After he arrives and I give another statement, he cautions me again about personal safety. I have another idea though. After he leaves, I grab my phone and call Madison.
“I’m actually working, so only have a minute,” her voice clips.
I explain everything that has happened. “Is there any way you can call Nick and see if he can release anything that says we are not together? Whoever it is should leave me alone if they know that Nick is not even on my radar or I on his. Even better, if he can get photographed with someone else, I’m sure the magazines would be all over it.”
“Damn, Kylie. Drama much? Yeah, let me see what I can do.”
“Thanks,” I say before she hangs up on me.
I take my calendar out and look at the dates. I called to make an appointment with the obstetrician, but they didn’t want to make my first appointment until I am eight weeks. So, from the time of my last period, my appointment is mid-December. I decide not to call the guys until after the appointment. Seems like the best for everyone.
Looking at my calendar, I realize that, next year, I will have a baby. My God, a living breathing creature will be dependent on me. I can’t live above the shop anymore. I’ll see if Leo is interested in the apartment. My aunt left me her house, but I decided to sell it. There’s just too many memories there, not to mention those of her dying. I’ll find a little home in the suburbs. Damn, next thing I know I’ll be buying a minivan. Tapping my desk, I smile to myself. Definitely not the end of the world.
“I am not wearing this god-awful gown, and I would like to see your knocked-up-baby-daddy-guessing ass try to make me.”
“Madison!” My jaw falls open, and I stand with my arms-crossed, staring at her. I’m shocked at what just rolled off her lips. Sometimes her mouth runs a little too much.
“Well, it the motherfuckin’ truth. Get over it and find me something else to where or I’m going naked up in this bitch.”
Madison is having a fit because she hates the dress I’ve picked out for a Christmas benefit we are attending. Actually, we are both being auctioned off. It’s the annual bachelor and bachelorette auction that benefits a local shelter. Mads and I signed up last year and had such a great experience that we did so again this year. It felt unfair of me to back out, even with my circumstances, because most of the bidders are only doing it for the donation and never hold you to the date.
I spoke with the organizer, a friend of mine and someone I knew I could trust. She actually agreed that it would be beneficial for the shelter if I didn’t drop-out, so it is settled. Dressing myself in a Courreges little black dress is easy, but Mads, not so much.
“No, fucking lace, ruffles, or ribbons. I told you, Ky.”
“It’s Chanel, Madison.”
“I don’t care. No. Hell no! Plus, Lil Rip is going to be bidding, and he only likes lace, ruffles, and ribbons in the bedroom. So unless you want it ripped to shreds when we get home, I suggest you change it.”
Jeez, I can’t keep up with her. She, still, will not to speak to me about her love life. From what I’ve heard from other avenues though, she is still dating Lil Rip. No one knows a thing about Nick Andrews. Not your concern, Kylie. I tell myself. I smile thinking what my aunt would have said, that is the nosey Southern woman in me. Going to my closet, I pull out a Ralph Rucci gown, and she looks it over.
“Yeah, it doesn’t make me want to vomit.”
Finally! We dress and head down to the car picking us up. Once we are settled in the backseat and on our way, I look over to see Madison, staring at me.
“You up for this?” she asks, fidgeting with her gown.
“Yeah. We didn’t even have to attend the dates last year, so I’m not worried about it,” I say, slapping her hands from pulling at the dress.
“What time is your appointment again tomorrow?” she says, crossing her arms, then uncrossing, and finally resting them in her lap.
“It’s at eight-thirty in the morning.”
“You still don’t want me to come with you?” She offered to go with me when I first made the O.B. appointment, but I declined. I’m not sure what they are going to do, and I felt it better that I go at it alone.
“I’ll be okay, but thanks,” I say while reaching for her hand and squeezing it. “I’ll call you as soon as I get out.” I can tell she is nervous for me.
“If you change your mind, I’m here.”
The car drops us off at the front, and a small camp of media takes our picture. Walking into the massive hotel’s grand ballroom, I look around at the décor which is immersed in rich reds, gleaming gold, and dark greens, festive for the holiday season. I see many people, we both know, in attendance. With Christmas being so close, people are in a very cheerful and jovial mood. Plus, the Eagles just made the NFL playoffs, and they have a first-round bye, so many are in attendance tonight, including Tamara and her husband Gavin.
“Hey, girl,” Tamara says, coming up to grasp me in a soft hug. Her eyes shine with true happiness in seeing me. “Where have you been hiding?”
“Hey,” I say, squeezing her back. “Long story that I’ll share with you some other time.” Like maybe never. I like Tamara, but not sure if our friendship is that deep.
Leaning back, she says, “I’m here. Anytime.”
With a soft smile, she turns and hugs Madison, and I notice them whispering to each other. I can’t stop myself from glancing to my left and right to see if Dray is here, which he seems to not be. It’s probably for the best, but I can’t get him out of my thoughts. My dreams are our personal sensual pleasures that are imbedded deep into my mind. It’s hard to think of anything else, especially when the next nine months are going to be filled with an everyday reminder of him. Looking down, I see that I’m gliding my hands over my belly. I do it all the time without thinking, and it’s getting on my nerves.
“Earth to, Kylie.”
Madison snaps her fingers in front of my face, and I push her hand away. We are back to standing by ourselves, Tamara having moved on with her husband.
“
What?” I ask.
“Obvious much? I don’t think you want the entire town trying to guess who ate the cherry and left the seed. Just remember, Nick did you a favor and had those pictures released with that starlet.”
Last week, all the rag magazines featured top stories about Nick Andrews and some up and coming actress. When I asked Madison if it was true, she said of course it is, pictures don’t lie. I didn’t find that funny considering it was me last time, but again, I’m trying to stay out of her love life, so I leave it alone.
“That’s just a disgusting analogy, Mads. Cherry and seeds, really?” I turn from her after she lightly shrugs her narrow shoulders.
Looking to the large stage, I see the entertainment is a local band that I enjoy. Already, people are dancing on the dance floor. This is where the auction took place last year. I have already worked it out with Leo for him to bid on me, and I will pick up the donation. Just to be safe. I planned on donating anyway, and I’d rather not take a chance of having to go out on a date with anyone. Mads nudges my elbow and heads towards our table. Once we are sitting, I hear her give a low growl beside me.
“That fucktard. That boy better not have!” she exclaims, standing and crossing her arms in front of her.
Turning, I see exactly who she is referring to. Dray is two tables away from me, looking panty dropping hot in his tux, but he is not alone. Some young, I hesitate to say “lady”, is draped all over him. While they stand there, she rubs his shoulder and arms so much that the material has to be wearing thin. Every couple of seconds, she leans in to whisper something in his ear. It’s not that damn loud. I look down at my shaking hands and try to control my temper that threatens to explode. He had to know I would be here. I don’t own him, and I sure as hell can’t stop him from dating, but he knows how I feel. How I truly feel.
“He should act like he knows me,” Mads says, starting his way. “He better know I’m not going to put up with his shit.”
Grabbing her hand, I beg, “Please don’t. It will just draw attention.” I see the internal war within her. Rolling her eyes at me, she finally stomps her foot. “Please,” I beg once more. I know her hatred towards Dray is solely because of me at this moment, but going after him won’t fix my heart.
Sitting down, she frowns at me. “It’s a shitty asshole move.”
I can’t help but agree. “Yes, it is.”
Lil Rip strolls into the room and sits down beside her. I see a genuinely happy smile cover Madison’s face as she leans in to kiss him. They both grin, touching each other as they speak. I haven’t been around him since that night, and I don’t know how much he actually told her about our conversation because she never speaks of him to me. I’m ashamed to finally see how truly captivated she seems with him. At my staring, he glances over at me, nodding. I didn’t think the night could get any more uncomfortable, but I am wrong.
“Hey,” I say, lifting my fingers to wave. Not knowing how to respond to him.
He gives me a grim smile and returns to talking to Mads. I feel like the third wheel. It’s not fun, and in fact, it’s a preview of the next year for me. It’s not like I want to find anyone else now, and I wouldn’t be able to if I did. I can’t imagine being all, “Hi, want to go out with me and Cletus the Fetus?” It’s weird. I always imagined, one day, I would get married and then have children. Shut it down, Kylie. So life throws me a curveball? I have to put on my big girl panties and keep on keeping on.
I can do this. I don’t need a man to be a mother, and I sure as hell don’t have to go into hiding for the next seven months because I’m enceinte. What century is this? I can be me. Actually, I’ll be more of me because of the pregnancy weight gain. That’s just depressing. I don’t want to think about more of me. My breasts already have their own zip code, and I’m only about two months. In another seven months, I may look like Betty Big Ones. God, I need a drink that I can’t have. Why can’t pregnant women pump and dump? I need to stop reading those breast-feeding books. I think they are warping my mind.
“Kylie!”
“Uh?” I finally hear Madison.
“The waiter is asking for your drink. What would you like?”
“Anything with alcohol,” I joke. The waiter smiles and turns to leave when Madison reaches out to grab his arm.
“Bring her orange juice. Plain,” she rolls her eyes at me.
“Now who’s making a scene?” I mumble.
Feeling like the stalker that I am, I turn to see where Dray is. They are still standing, at, what I guess, is their table within shouting distance. Turning my head back, I pray that he doesn’t see me. I look good tonight, but I feel like absolute poo. Breast soreness, nausea, bloating, emotional benders…okay, I’ve always had the emotional benders, but they are ten times worse.
“Hey, Kylie.”
A familiar male voice has me turning around. “Hey, Jason.” Jason Silas grabs the back of my chair and smiles down at me.
“Can I talk to you for a second?”
I look at Madison, who is listening intently to us, and she shrugs back at me. I do not want to hear him. I do not want to do this, but the thought of my eyes drifting back to Dray, spurs me to answer.
“Sure,” I say as he pulls my chair out and offers his hand to help me to stand. Placing his large hand on my lower back, he leads me from the ballroom to a small alcove outside the restrooms.
“Look, I owe you an apology.” He looks apologetic and very sincere.
“No, you don’t. Jason, you are great guy, and I wish…,” I take a deep breath, “I hope you don’t harbor any hard feelings toward me. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me.”
“You were honest from the beginning. I said I was going to be cool about things, but then Dray…,” he pauses to look at me, “whatever. Look, I had a great time hanging out with you. You are funny and cool, and I really would like to continue to be friends. That’s it.” He laughs then playfully says, “My big speech that I’ve been rehearsing for about a month. How’d I do?”
I smile with him. “It was good. Short and to the point. I can respect that,” I reply jokingly. “You definitely won me over to the friend crowd, not that I wasn’t already there.”
“Phew. Okay, now we can go back and have a good time. A friendly dance maybe?”
“Sure. I would like that,” I say reaching for his outstretched hand.
He leads me into the ballroom, and this time, we joke and cut up on the way back. I forgot how much I like being around him. I laugh as he talks about some funny football antics and how excited he is to make the playoffs. When we get back to the table, he says he is stag tonight, and his entire table is full of couples. I lament how I’m in the same boat, and he asks to join me at my table. I knew that we had an extra seat, and for one moment, I consider not putting myself back into that situation. One that could possibly hurt me or even him.
Coming to a decision, I state, “Strictly as friends.”
He replies, sitting down, “Hear you loud and clear this time.”
Amazingly, we get so caught up in our own conversation as everyone else dances, that I don’t even think to check on Dray until our food is served. When I do, his dark eyes are locked on me. I can tell that he is pissed. Next to him, his date looks like she is about to burst into tears. I even see her ask him something, and he snaps something back to her. It looks like she excuses herself and walks out of the ballroom. Expecting him to follow her, I don’t turn away, but he just continues to gaze at me with those sinful chocolate eyes.
My wicked, whacked-out body, betrays me again by becoming highly attuned at the sight of his attention. My pheromones are in overdrive, and my pussy clenches at the thought of him being just as stimulated. My nipples harden beneath my dress, expressing my state of arousal. All these sensations magnify inside me, aching from the thought of what he could, but won’t, do. I can’t look away. I don’t want to.
Distantly, I hear Jason, but everything in me centers on Dray. He stands, his large muscular b
uild covered, but not hidden, beneath his tux. I know what every square inch looks and taste like, and I physically flinch at the grief of never doing so again. The long strides of his legs bring him closer to where I sit, and I never remove my eyes from his as he walks to stand by my side.
He nods at Jason, offering his hand to shake. “Hey, man.”
Jason looks at me, eyes questioning, and he deserves the truth as a friend. Nodding my head, I silently answer the question about Dray and I.
Taking a deep breath, he accepts Dray’s hand, saying to him, “Hey.” Looking back at me, he smiles and stands. Talking to Dray before leaving, he says, “She’s one of the good ones. Take care of her.”
“Kylie.”
My name, spoken from those lips, rains across my body like the warmth of a summer shower. I tremble at the sound. My eyes drift shut for a second until I look up into his yearning stare.