She pressed back all the way, taking him in deep and tightened, coming hard and fast, bringing his climax in response as the pleasure of it all inundated him, drowned him until they both collapsed to the mattress, breathing hard.
“Is there any special story about the tattoo?” he asked as they lounged in bed. Tracing over the curls and swirls and the occasional flower, he liked the way her skin felt, liked the weight of her body next to him.
“Not really. I…knew the tattoo artist and had admired his work. I had a picture of this wrought-iron work I really liked with these curves. It stayed with me, so I took it in for him to look at. Later I added the flowers because I wanted a little bit of color.”
“Sexy. And knew in the biblical sense?”
She laughed and turned to him, presenting him with a bounty of new things to visually feast on. “I don’t know that I’d say that. Yes, I dated him a while. But we never…we didn’t have…” She laughed again. “We never fucked. We messed around a little, and this is quite detailed and I’m sure you don’t actually care. But anyway. I knew him and admired his talent and he did a great job. No great meaning, I just thought it was pretty.”
He frowned. “I do care. I shouldn’t. Of course you had a life after we split up and all. But I guess I don’t like that another man got to be in your bed.”
One of her brows rose. “You were engaged to be married. Really, Nathan, Stephanie Prater?” She rolled her eyes and snorted. “I’ve seen her in town several times now, of course. She did stop to tell me what an awesome lay you were.”
Mortification rose. “Tate tried to warn me she was all wrong for me.”
“I suppose all that blonde hair and the breasts blinded you to her true nature. Really, Nathan, she’s a vile, vile creature.”
He knew.
“I know. I’m sorry she said that.” He paused. “What did you say back?”
“I told her I knew because I’d been all up in it for two years before she ever came along and I hoped I’d rendered some good training for the boring lay she must have been.” Lily smiled brightly, and he laughed and laughed some more, holding her to him.
“I’ve missed you.”
She took a deep breath and tried to move away but he shook his head. “Oh no you don’t. No more pushing me away. I know you want me, Lily. I know you like being with me. You can lie to yourself if you want, but you can’t lie to me.”
“You mesmerized me once and again with your cock. It’s like you’re carrying four rolls of quarters down the front of your jeans. How can I resist?”
He shook his head. “Baby, you and your sweet nothings will turn a man’s head. Anyway, it’s more than my apparently massive cock. Four? You like me. You like being Nathan and Lily again.”
“Look, Nathan, you’re still Chris’s teacher. In case it’s escaped your notice we live in a small town where even what kinds of birds eat at which feeders in which yard are a topic for gossip. Chris has had enough to deal with after what happened with our father. People are still talking about it. I can’t do this and make it even worse for him.”
“Thank God he’s got you.” Nathan wasn’t all that impressed with Pamela and her parenting. He understood she’d been devastated when her husband up and left, though it was common knowledge he’d been catting around for years. But that was no excuse to just stop being a mother to a teenager. He was convinced that without Lily’s intervention things would have gotten far worse for Chris.
“I keep hoping my mother will get her act together.”
“That why you decided to stay?”
She made a face, and he knew he was poking her out of her comfort zone. She didn’t like to speak ill of her family, he got it and he respected that. She’d already shared negatives about her mother and sister as well. But it was different when it was him. He wanted her to remember, to trust him like she used to.
“He’s had enough people fail him. Whatever the reason for it. I had a good mom growing up. Scattered maybe, but she was there after school. Drove me to this and that. And even then my dad was pretty good. Chris is my family. He needs me and that’s that. So this thing”—she waved a hand between them—“isn’t possible right now.”
He canted his hips, brushing his cock against her. “Oh it is. I’ve got great recovery where you’re concerned. And it is happening. It happened twice if I recall correctly. And it will happen again. You know it.”
She got up and moved to the windows, the light framing her.
“We can keep it quiet until the school year ends. He won’t be my student anymore. Be with me, Lily.” He hated that it sounded as if he was begging. But he needed her. And now that he’d had her in bed again, he wasn’t going to let that go. This was it for him. She was the one.
She turned, keeping her distance, which was a good thing because she looked so sexy and tousled he would have been all over her if she’d been within reach.
“We have to keep it quiet. I mean it. I won’t hurt him any more than he’s already been hurt.”
Now that she’d acquiesced, he relaxed into a satisfied man. “Adds some spice I say. Keeping it quiet.” And it wasn’t that much longer.
“All right. We can keep doing this part.”
“This part?”
“The sex part, silly.”
Oh did she think so? Did she think he’d look at her face and believe all she wanted was a hot fuck? Did she think he’d ever, for one minute, be satisfied with what his parents had and then proceeded to destroy over decades?
“I’m not interested in you as a quick, furtive fuck.”
Lily heard the anger in his voice and moments later figured out why. She moved to him, sliding back into bed and close to him again. Damn it, she still loved him. Probably never stopped. But it wouldn’t do to get attached. No. Still, she didn’t mean to hurt him. That she’d make a comparison between his drunk of an abusive father and his skank of a mother, even not meaning to, was untenable. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You’re not him and I’m sure as hell not her. I meant we can…”
“This is how it is, Lily. You aren’t just some random woman I’m dating. I’m up front with you right now that I want something deeper. We have something deeper. We always have. So don’t insult either one of us by saying something stupid. What we have is more than friends. And that’s how I like it. We’re together.”
She sat up, angry herself. “Really? Like before?”
“I deserve that. And more most likely. But things are different. We’re different. You’re the only woman I want. Full stop. There’s no one else. Nothing else, but you. I wouldn’t be able to assert that as totally surely as I can now if I hadn’t lost it and known what it was to be without you. But secret for a little while or not, we’re together, Lily.”
Torn between wanting to believe and wanting to deny it, she said nothing as she watched him, so beautiful and male, spread out in bed like the best-looking item on any menu ever.
“I like it when you look at me that way. Say you’re with me, Lily.”
She sighed. “You broke my heart, Nathan. It took me years to get over you. Years. It wasn’t the kiss, it was the way you loved me one minute and tossed me away the next. You made me feel like absolutely nothing.” That her voice broke as she said the words should have embarrassed her, but it felt good to say. To let him know the outcome of what he’d done.
Good to remind herself that this little fun time in bed was great, but the devastation he left, that she slogged through as a result of his so-called love, had been a heavy burden for some time. She had enough burdens just then.
“All my life, until you, I’d never felt that. Being with you made me feel beautiful. Smart and strong and perfect.” She snorted a laugh. “You loved me and then you made me feel like I didn’t even exist.”
He looked stricken and for a moment she felt bad. But just a moment.
“I’m sorry.” He sat up and leaned over to tuck her hair behind an ear. “I never meant to hurt you
. I was careless. Careless and selfish and more like my dad than I want to admit. That I made you feel that way when you were so much to me, I’m ashamed of that.”
“I didn’t wait to hear your explanation. I couldn’t see you there with another person. Doing with her what you did with me. I had to go. I never thought you’d…” She shook her head. “It’s gone. Done. Past and neither of us can go back and change it.”
“Will you let me earn your trust again?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? But she was here in his room, naked to him physically and emotionally already. She’d never uttered those words to anyone after they’d broken things off. Sure she talked about it on the surface, but the rejection, feeling like she was totally nothing to him after she’d felt like everything, the shock of it had sent her reeling. Her confidence had taken a hit. She wouldn’t be who she was now if he hadn’t been such a careless ass.
She’d rebuilt herself and she’d done it for her. Not for a man. Not because someone else thought it was a good thing. She’d found a way to believe in herself and she’d done it on her own. She owed that to him in a twisted way.
“I don’t know, Nathan. Maybe we can work on it.”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
She snorted. “No it isn’t. You want everything and you want it right now.”
He blushed and she found herself charmed again, by this man she’d shared so much of her life with. By this man who’d been her friend before her lover and just might be her friend again.
“I have that problem when it comes to you. But I’ll try to rein it in.” He slid the pad of his thumb over the swell of her bottom lip and sent shivers through her.
He leaned her back to the bed. “I think we should go again. I found two condoms.”
Chapter Nine
“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”
She narrowed her gaze at Chris and handed him a paintbrush. “I’m the only one who gets to say that. You think I wanted to get up on Sunday morning to watch you paint? Now get to work before I change my mind and go get a switch.”
He started to argue but apparently the memories of their grandpa and his peach switches to take care of major infractions when they were growing up was enough to get him past that urge.
“You grafitti’d someone’s fence because you and your stupid friends thought it’d be fun. Friends you were forbidden to see, I hasten to add. Well now you can paint it to undo your work.” She moved to the nearby lawn chair and sat, taking the tea Shannon Belfort had brought out. “Mrs. Belfort here is willing to forgo calling up Sheriff Chase in exchange for this paint job so you’ll say thank you ma’am and get working.”
To his credit, Chris did exactly that.
Mrs. Belfort chuckled and passed over a plate of cookies. “Needed a painting anyway. My Frank has been bellyaching about this fence for three years. Thank you, Christopher, for taking care of it. Now mind you, if I catch you and those boys here with a spray-paint can again, I’m gonna let the dogs out. You hear?”
Chris nodded and got back to work. He hadn’t said which boys he’d been out with, but she’d caught him red handed. Literally red handed—because he’d used red paint and no gloves—and had marched him up to the Belforts’ front door and made him apologize and offer to undo his mess.
A silly way to spend a Sunday afternoon she thought. She’d been up late piecing together a pretty coatdress she planned to list on the website she had put together with some great advice from Nathan’s sister Jill, who worked at a marketing firm in Atlanta. So far, Lily had sold several pieces already in stock.
Even worse, she was supposed to be over at Tate’s at that moment having barbecue and looking at Nathan’s butt. But it had to be done and she planned to make Chris paint the fence at home too. This behavior of his would only get worse if they didn’t react to it swiftly and with a heavy hand.
Her mother seemed only mildly disturbed, though she’d been supportive enough as Lily had lit into her brother about this sort of behavior. She’d planned to have the big discussion about her mother’s deteriorating behavior that morning when Chris would be off with his youth group. She’d do it the following day when he was back in school. It wasn’t as if Pamela actually parented Chris anymore anyway.
It made Lily sad and very tired. But there was nothing else to be done but what she was doing.
“I hear you take pictures.”
After she got her cookie chewed and swallowed, she nodded. “Yes, something like that.” She was good with a camera after all. Had the gear and the ability.
“My youngest just got engaged. He wants pictures. Or, well you know his little girlfriend wants them for the paper and such. What would you charge for such a thing?”
“After my brother ruined your fence?”
Mrs. Belfort laughed and patted Lily’s knee. “Honey, my youngest? The one getting hitched? He’s broken windows and gotten liquored up in Charlie Duke’s barn a time or two. Not many families in Petal who can claim their children never got up to mischief. Then again, not many of ’em would have brought those kids round to make amends neither. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, what do you charge?”
By the time Chris had finished his painting Lily had booked a session with John Belfort and his bride-to-be for some engagement pictures and had given her card to Mrs. Belfort who also happened to manage the schedule booking for weddings down at the Petal First Baptist church.
Maybe this moving-to-Petal thing could actually work out.
“She cancelled? Again?” Nathan paced as Beth watched him, amused.
“She’s got stuff to do. Chris spray painted the Belfort’s back fence last night. She made him paint it and so she has to supervise. It’s not like she’s getting any help from her momma.”
“I barely get to see her as it is.”
“Look, Nathan, she’s got a lot on her plate. You’d do the same in her place and you know it. She’s working on her clothing stuff pretty much single-handedly too. Give her a little room to breathe.” Beth’s eyes narrowed as she dared him to argue with what he already knew.
Tate sent him a look from where she’d been sitting with Lil Beth feeding her. “You don’t like not being at the top of her to-do list.”
“Well no! I don’t. Is it too much to ask?” Cripes, he was planning on asking the woman to marry him, the least he could expect was some attention.
“Yes it is.” Tate shrugged and the baby did the same, laughing. Unable to resist, Nathan plucked her up, and she tugged on his ear before snuggling in for a sloppy kiss. “Yum, oatmeal.” He grabbed the cloth and got her face clean and then his.
“She’s the only one interested in really helping that boy. She’s his family. That’s what family does. You of all people should know that.”
He wanted to hang his head as he was righteously busted. But he resisted, trying not to pout. “I just want to be with her.”
“You sound like a two-year-old.” Beth stared him down. The disapproval of his sisters never sat well with him and he knew they were right, but he wanted to see her more and it wasn’t happening. It had been a week and a half since the last time he’d been able to actually touch her, damn it.
“She asked you to give her some time. She’s being reasonable and you’re being petulant. It’s very unlike you.” Tate handed him a cookie he gobbled down after sharing a little bit with the baby.
Not enough apparently as she grabbed his wrist and started to cry when she saw none left.
“You’re starving this baby. Clearly.” He shot an amused glance to Tate who handed him a graham cracker. Lil Beth examined it closely and then his face as if to say, Are you serious?
“The others had nuts in it. These are better for you.” Tate gave the baby a stern look.
Lil Beth was her mother’s daughter and she narrowed her gaze for a moment back at Tate. “No.” She shook her head and he laughed, kissing her cheeks, which seemed to satisfy her for the moment.
“Give the guy a break. He loves her and she’s not with him. Makes a man antsy.” Matt spoke from his place at the table with Meg, who was coloring.
“Do you love her?” Beth examined him carefully.
He took a deep breath and sighed. “Yeah. Probably. Definitely. Yes, yes, I love her. Heck, I want to marry her. But she holds me at arm’s length. I hate that.”
“Get over it. You screwed her over. It takes time to trust again. You can’t expect her to just go poof it’s over and then you two are hunky dory. You have to keep with the woo.” Matt looked up again. “And for crissake don’t go with this marriage stuff until the summer. She’s not going to run away. You’ve got her back. Give her time.”
“Ha. You were up on my sister five minutes after you met her.”
Matt snorted and looked to Tate with a smile. “Yeah. She gave me a run for my money. I made mistakes too. I seem to remember one of her brothers threw a drink in my face when he thought I’d hurt her feelings.”
Nathan barked a laugh, remembering that time at the Pumphouse. “You made her cry. I can’t abide any of my ladies crying.” He undid a fist that had been in his hair and kissed it. “Of course I’m waiting until summer to propose. But I have intentions with this woman and I aim to keep them. This is serious business. Marriage business. This is not dating. I’m past that with Lily. I want a life with her.”
Tate nodded curtly. “Of course you do. Help her instead of making her feel like she’s got to try and make everyone happy. She’s trying to deal with her momma, her brother and you. All while trying to make a living. She’s got enough to juggle. ”
He did hang his head then. “You’re right.”
Tate laughed and took the baby. “Of course I am.”
Which is how he managed to finally get her alone just a few evenings later when he crashed dinner at Beth’s house. Crazy loud with Murphy and Chase women, he brought over a box of stuff Beth had been bugging him about.