No.
No.
He won’t win.
“Hey.”
I spin around from my spot in the kitchen when I hear Slade’s voice. He’s just walking through my front door and his eyes are narrowed.
“Didn’t think I was seein’ things. What’s wrong?”
I swallow down my tears, but I can’t stop them. They flow out and I make an ugly sobbing sound. Great. Great. We just became civil with each other and now here I am sobbing like a small child in front of him. I can’t help it, though. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong, I don’t understand anything, and I’m tired of being made to feel like crap by a man who hasn’t even tried to get to know me.
“My boss is a j-j-j-j-jerk,” I croak between sobs. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m trying to get it together.”
Slade strides over, goes to my fridge, and pulls out two beers, cracking them both. He hands one to me, and then sits down at the stool by my kitchen counter and stares at me. “Take a sip, take a few deep breaths, and tell me what this dickbag is doing.”
It’s not an option, it’s a demand. So, I do as he asks, only I take a few deep breaths before trying to swallow any beer. After a few minutes, I calm myself enough to speak without hiccupping. “He’s picking on me. And I know you had something to say about that last time, but I’m not overreacting. I’ve worked at enough jobs to know what’s just a dick of a boss and what’s extra harassment, and I’m telling you, he doesn’t like me and is making it known. I just don’t understand why. I honestly don’t. He doesn’t even, nor has he even, tried to get to know me.”
“You confronted him about it?” Slade asks.
I shake my head quickly. “Of course not, no. I don’t want to lose my job.”
“If he’s harrasin’ you, Rachel, you need to do something about it.”
“I’m just a trainee. I’ve not even been there two weeks. If I make a fuss now, toward someone who apparently everyone else likes, I can tell you now that I’ll lose my job.”
“Then just ask him what his problem is, in a respectful manner.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think he’s the kind of person who will do anything but insult me more. I just have to deal with it.”
Slade’s jaw tics. “No, you fuckin’ don’t. I don’t care how high up he is, or how long he’s been there, you do not treat your staff members like that. If you let him keep doing it, then you’ll continue to let people do that kind of stuff to you for the rest of your life. It’s your human right to be able to defend yourself, Rachel.”
My bottom lip trembles, because I know he’s right. I know he is but I don’t want to admit it because then that means I have to do something about it and in doing that, I put myself at risk of either making things worse, like lose my job worse, or a small chance of making it better. Either way, it’s not going to be easy. I reach up and rub my forehead, because I don’t honestly deserve this.
“I know,” I whisper finally. “I know, Slade.”
“Not tryin’ to be a dick, but you can’t let him do that to you.”
I inhale through my nose and meet his eyes.
He’s right.
But I’m terrified of facing it.
This job is everything I’ve worked for.
~*~*~*~
“Come in,” I smile to Roy, opening the door and letting him in.
“How are you today, darlin’?”
“Good, thanks.”
“How’s the job?” he asks, handing me a bottle of wine. “Thought we could share this with dinner.”
“Thank you, and my job is OK, getting there.”
I don’t really want to talk about yet another shitty day, because that’s exactly what today was—shitty. Terrence rode me like some broken pony, making me overexert myself even when he knew I was still struggling with pain from my ankle. He made sure to keep me on my feet all day, cutting my lunch break and only giving me a ten-minute window to scoff my lunch.
So, I definitely don’t want to talk about it.
I just want to enjoy the company of my new friend and forget that my job is going south right now.
“Doesn’t sound like you’re enjoying it much,” Roy says, moving into my kitchen and opening cupboards until he finds two wine glasses.
“Not really. Do you mind if we just don’t talk about it? I just want to enjoy the night with you.”
He flashes me a smile. “Of course. What are you cooking? It smells amazing.”
“Just spaghetti, but I made my own pasta and garlic bread.”
“A girl that can cook,” he says. “Not many of them left.”
I smile. “I’m not that great, but when it comes to Italian food, I’m not bad. My grandma taught me how to make my own pasta, and I loved it so much I kind of just never forgot, you know?”
“Sounds like you have a good family.”
“Yeah, I do. What about you, do you like cooking?”
“Yeah, I do. I can’t say I’m great at it, but I can cook enough to keep myself happy.”
I laugh. “That’s all that matters then, right?”
“Exactly,” he chuckles, taking a seat at the stool by the kitchen counter as I go over to the pot, checking my sauce.
“So, tell me something about yourself, Roy?”
“What do you want to know, darlin’? I’m an open book.”
“Well, in that case,” I rub my hands together and grin. “Give me all the juicy details. Start with girlfriends.”
He laughs again. “Nothing too exciting there, I haven’t really found one that matches what I’m looking for yet.”
“Ah, a picky one, are we?”
He winks at me, then shakes his head. “No, not at all. I just need someone who has a similar passion to mine. The ranch is a big deal. It will need two dedicated people, not just one, you know?”
“I understand that, completely.”
“Hi, Rachel!”
I turn to see Ryder running through my front door, Gameboy in his hand. The kid is old-school, I like that about him.
“Hey, buddy,” I wave.
Ryder stops when he sees Roy, and his eyes get big. He’s so adorable.
“I’m sorry,” he says instantly. “I didn’t know you had a friend over.”
“No worries at all, little buddy,” Roy says, taking it into his own hands to introduce himself, which I really like. “My name is Roy. What’s yours?”
“Ryder, I live next door.”
“That’s super cool. I’d like to live next door to Rachel, too.”
I smile and Ryder cracks a grin. “She is really nice. Do you want to see my fort?”
“You’ve got a fort?” Roy says, standing and slapping his hands on his thighs. “Let me see it, buddy.”
Ryder starts chewing Roy’s ear off with his frantic talking as they walk out the door. He’s telling him all about the fort. I wonder if Slade is home yet? I didn’t see him earlier when I was done at the store and got home, I figured he must have been out and about.
I get back to the cooking and only stop when I hear the low, husky voice at my door. I turn and see Slade standing, staring at me. I don’t know what he just said, but whatever it was, I’m thinking it wasn’t directed at me, and was more a mumble under his breath.
“Hey,” I say, placing the spoon down and wiping my hands on the towel beside the stove. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Slade’s eyes pin me, and oh God, he looks gorgeous today. He’s obviously been out chopping wood, because he’s dirty, in the sexiest kind of way. Ripped jeans, shirt unbuttoned and flapping around by his sides, beard trimmed but setting off his perfectly rugged features. He looks edible. I have to swallow to stop my mouth dropping open at the sheer sight of his perfection.
“Who you cookin’ dinner for? That dick you went out with the other day?”
“Slade,” I say, letting my mouth drop open now. “Don’t speak like that when I have friends around, please. Ryder is showing him the fort, they’ll
be back any second.”
“Lettin’ strangers take my kid now, are you?”
His eyes are narrowed, and his jaw keeps ticking. But I’m pissed at his comment. Pissed. He knows by now I would never hurt Ryder or put him in danger, so he’s just being a giant dick.
“Excuse me,” I say, lifting a finger and waving it around. “Don’t come in here, in your filthy mood, and take it out on me. You know damn well I’d never let anything happen to Ryder. Roy is just looking at his fort, they’re right there if you’re worried.”
“Roy,” Slade snorts.
I narrow my eyes, and cross my arms over my chest. “Don’t, Slade.”
“Thought you weren’t interested in men,” he bites out.
I don’t get a chance to answer, because Roy and Ryder return, coming through the door. Roy looks over to Slade, and the two hold a stare for a moment, before Roy steps forward and extends a hand. “You must be Slade. Ryder just told me all about you. Good to meet you.”
Slade stares at Roy’s hand, and for a moment, I don’t think he’ll shake it, but after a second he extends his massive one and shakes it, before letting it go and looking to Ryder. “Time to go, bud.”
“Can I stay and have dinner with Roy and Rach?” Ryder pleads.
Slade shakes his head. “No, I’m sure they want to be alone to enjoy their dinner and whatever else they have planned.”
I bite my bottom lip.
Because, if I’m not mistaken, I’d say Slade was acting ... jealous.
Jealous.
Interesting, and a little flattering.
ELEVEN
Roy and I have an incredible dinner, and when he’s gone, I clean up and then flop down onto my couch with the remote and some ice cream, feeling better after the day I had. Roy’s company helped, he is so easy going and talking to him isn’t an effort at all. I’ve just pressed play on the movie I picked when my front door opens and Slade steps in.
I let off a little squeal, because he completely catches me off guard. I really need to start locking that when I’m home, anyone could walk in. Like just now, for example. I stare at the big man filling my door frame and blink a few times, wondering what the hell he wants, because it’s late and surely by now he’s ready to go to bed.
So, why is he here?
“What’s wrong?” I ask, not moving, because quite frankly I’m comfortable and I’m really excited about the ice cream I’m holding in my hands.
“Ryder said he left a Gameboy game here. Didn’t want to bother you for it until your boyfriend went home. Do you have it?”
I resist the urge to laugh at him, because he could have gotten the game tomorrow and we both know it. Instead, I glance around the living room, spotting the game on my lamp table by the door. I nod in the direction. “It’s there, and for your information, Roy is not my boyfriend, we’re only friends.”
Slade stares at me, then shrugs. “Wasn’t askin’. Just getting the game.”
I snort, and glance at my ice cream bowl.
“What was that for?” he says, his voice almost a growl.
“Nothing. Do you want some ice cream before you go?”
He stares at me for a second, then at the bowl, before walking over and sitting down. I take that as a yes, which means I have to get up, but it’s worth the effort because I get to sit next to Slade for a bit, and sitting next to him makes me feel good inside, a little funny, a lot nervous. I go to the kitchen and get another bowl, and return to the sofa to see him already eating mine.
“No, it’s OK, take mine,” I say sarcastically, sitting down and starting on this bowl.
“Where’d you meet Roy?” he asks, staring at the T.V as he shoves another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.
“At the bar.”
He snorts.
That’s it.
I turn around, placing my bowl onto the coffee table and facing him. He puts the last scoop of ice cream into his mouth, and places his bowl down, too. Then glances at me. “What?”
“Have you got some sort of problem right now?”
He shakes his head. “Fuck no. Why?”
Liar, liar pants on fire.
“Because you’re acting like a jerk, earlier and right now. I’m not doing anything wrong, Roy is just my friend, if you have a problem with that then—”
“I don’t,” he grunts, interrupting me.
“Really?” I say, crossing my arms. “Anyone would think you’re ...”
“What?” he demands, looking at me.
“Jealous,” I throw at him.
He snorts again. “Nothin’ to be jealous about here, babe.”
Dick.
Mega dick.
“You know what, fuck you,” I say, putting my legs on the ground and starting to stand up.
His big arm curls around my waist and he hauls me back down onto the sofa and straight into his lap.
“Let me go you giant fucking—”
“Yeah, yeah,” he murmurs, staring at my lips as I squirm trying to get away from him. “Ape. I know.”
And then he crushes his lips down over mine, kissing me hard and deep, tongue and lips, beard scratching the soft skin on my face. I can’t help but kiss him back, even though I’m so frustrated with him, because he tastes so fucking good. Still, he can’t speak to me like a jerk and get away with it, so after I’ve taken my fix of his long, deep, incredible kiss, I reach up and tug his beard so hard he hisses and pulls back.
“That’s for being a jerk off,” I mutter, climbing off his lap.
He stares up at me glaring down at him, and those eyes are so intense I want to throw myself back onto his lap and kiss him harder, deeper, maybe stick my hand up his shirt and run my hands over his chest ... No! No! Self-damned-control, Rachel. Go to bed.
“Thanks for coming over,” I murmur, trying really hard to not sound lusty right about now. “I’m going to bed, I have to work tomorrow.”
Slade stands, eyes still pinning mine, and takes two big steps toward me. I don’t move, I just tip my head back and look up at him. He curls a hand around the back of my neck, and brings his lips down and presses them against my forehead, murmuring against my skin, “Night, babe.”
Then, just like that, he’s gone.
Damn him.
He’s good.
~*~*~*~
“Sooo, he kissed you?” Steph asks, sipping the wine we’re sharing, and staring at me. “Tell me more.”
“I’m only telling you because I want you to know that I’m not the girl that takes another girl’s man and—”
Steph waves a hand. “Honestly, I’m smitten with someone else. Slade was just a fill-in for me, and now I can see it more clearly, I realize he was just a challenge. I honestly don’t mind, hon. Not at all. I’m glad he’s met someone that challenges him. He needs a girl like you.”
I shrug. “Well maybe, it was only two kisses and in the week since, he hasn’t said much to me. Granted, he went away for three days with Ryder, and has been working, but after that I thought ... I don’t know ...”
“Word of advice, and this isn’t me being jealous or anything else, I swear,” Steph says, putting a hand up. “But be careful with Slade. He likes you, which is more than I’ve seen from him before, because he never ever got jealous of me looking at other men. Even so, though, he struggles with any kind of emotion, that’s obvious by the fact that he hasn’t had any real relationships, at least that I’ve seen. He might not be what you’re looking for Rach, I’m not entirely sure he’s able to commit to anything serious. Don’t get hurt.”
I know what she’s saying, and I respect it.
Anyone can see Slade struggles with intimacy, and him distancing himself for a week after kissing me shows me that loud and clear. But, no matter how much I know that, I can’t seem to convince myself to just ignore him and be done with it. He sparks something inside me, something I’ve not felt with anyone else before.
Dammit.
“I will be careful, I promise,” I
say, because I will, be careful that is.
I can’t promise I’ll stay away, but I will be careful.
“I’m glad he has found someone like you, if anyone has the power to penetrate that concrete fort he’s built around himself, it’s you. I just would hate to see you get hurt in the process. You’re too good.”
I reach over and squeeze her hand. “Thanks for saying that, but I’m fine, I promise. I’m eyes wide open with Slade.”
“Yeah, you’ve got this one covered, that’s obvious.”
“I hope so. What about you, what’s this new guy you’re smitten with?”
“He’s the one I was telling you about,” she says dreamily. “He’s been chasing me, which is nice for a change. We’ve been out a few times, and he was great, he opened car doors, paid for dinner, old fashioned. You don’t see that much anymore. I really like him, Rach.”
I beam at her. “I’m so happy for you, you deserve it. You’re a great girl.”
“Thanks.”
We talk for a bit more, and then my phone rings alerting me that Lara is calling. I wave goodbye to Steph and thank her for the chat and then answer the phone as I walk back to my cabin.
“Hey,” I say to my best-friend the second the phone hits my ear.
“Hey! Sorry I haven’t called, life has been hectic. How are you?”
“I’m getting there, got so much to fill you in on.”
“Oh, my God, tell all. What’s happened? I’m sitting down with a cup of tea, fill bestie in.”
I laugh. “Well, firstly, my boss is a damned dick.”
“No way!” she gasps. “Like what level of dick are we talking?”
“Major dick, like major. He’s being a pig to me for no good reason, he hadn’t even met me before deciding he didn’t like me.”
I tell Lara about what he’s been doing, and she listens, only gasping or dropping a swear word here and there.
“Rach, you shouldn’t take that. You have rights, trainee or not.”