My pillow started jiggling and then it sounded like someone was torturing an animal right next to my ear. I looked to my right and found Tim crying but trying to hold it in. His face was bright red and he had both hands clapped over his face, his shoulders trembling.
"What's up, pixieman?" I asked.
He immediately flew up into the center of the room and executed the most spectacular set of midair acrobatics I'd ever seen him do. When he finally got back to us a few minutes later, he was red from exertion and his tears had dried.
"Damn, man, you got the moves," Spike said, smiling in admiration. He held up his finger for a high-one.
Tim slapped it has hard as he could, breathing heavily and leaning over in mid-flight. "Yeah. Been practicing."
Tim floated down to my pillow and leaned on my face with one hand while he caught his breath. "Whoo. Had some extra energy I had to work off, there."
"Getting a little verklempt at seeing your godchildren on the big screen?" I asked, trying not to smile too hard.
"Oh, Jesus," he said, fanning his face, tears coming again. "Don't. I just can't…" He took off again, and this time figured out how to get out of the clinic, even though the door was shut. Annoying pixies with their little hidden exits.
"What's up with him?" Spike asked, mystified.
"He's freaking out over becoming a godfather, I think." I looked at my handsome man. "Is that okay? If we ask him and Abby to kind of…watch over them? We've got Tony watching over them from the Overworld, but I figured it might be good to have backup in the Here and Now."
Spike leaned down and whispered in my ear. "I was kind of thinking we could ask the whole crew…everyone we did this fae changeling thing with. Couldn't hurt right? To have all those amazing fae looking out for our kids?"
I reached up and clamped my arm around his neck. "You're fucking brilliant. I love you so much."
His eyes flared red and he kissed me. The healer disappeared from view and excused himself from the room. The sound of the clinic door closing behind him was the last thing I was conscious of before falling into bliss with Spike leading the way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
THE NEXT FEW weeks were filled with coordination between us and the humans, who'd been sent back to their respective countries to set things in motion. We also doubled down on our own personal training regimens. The military forces of the major world powers would be standing at the ready, in position to quell any uprisings the Forsaken might instigate, while we prepared ourselves to fight them locally if necessary. Sam was trying to work with me on mixing her witch magic with my elemental connections, and we were making progress, but it was slow. I feared that we wouldn't be ready in time.
We were all preparing for the arrival of the Forsaken, on edge, and trying to come up with several different types of alternative defenses that we might need to put into play, depending on what those horrible creatures decided to do. We were functioning on educated guesses at best, and although I had all the faith in the world in our gray elves, who were tirelessly working through various scenarios to ensure our success, I wasn't one hundred percent confident that we'd covered all our bases. My nerves were jangling, and it sure as hell didn't help that every time I turned around, another big, black bird was staring at me.
"Look!" I exclaimed, pointing to it so Sam would see it too. We were standing outside one of the compound doors I rarely used. "There's another one. Or the same one, I can't tell them apart."
She stopped waving her wand at me and looked. "Yeah, fine. It's a crow. I told you, there's no magic being used against you here. I have us completely blocked off from the rest of the world."
"Yes, I know that. And I know your shit is working, because I can feel it working, but that doesn't mean this isn't freaky." I faced the bird more fully. "Hey! Bird! What's up with you, man? Why do you keep staring at me like that?"
It launched itself from the branch and cawed a few times before disappearing from view over the trees.
I turned to face Sam. "I think it just told me to get bent."
She half smiled. "Maybe. Are you ready to try this again?" She held up her wand.
"No." I waved her over. "Let's go talk to Grandma Maggie."
"What?" Sam's arm dropped to her side. "What on earth for?"
"Because. I'm tired of casting, my feet hurt, I'm nauseated again, and I need some not fresh air. Her house is the perfect place to get some of that."
Sam joined me, walking toward the darker edges of the forest. "And because you want to talk to her about the crows."
I couldn't hide anything from my cousin. "Yeah. Maybe. She'll know if it means anything I should be worried about." My gut was telling me it was, so Maggie would either confirm it or tell me I was having another weird pregnancy symptom that I should try to ignore.
We got twenty feet from our starting position when suddenly a streak of black raced out of the forest toward me. I didn't have time to do anything before I was grabbed, lifted off my feet, and swung around in a circle.
"Waaaaahhhhh!!!" I screamed in surprise.
The world finally stopped spinning when Spike put me down, a huge smile splitting his face. "Hello, gorgeous. What're you up to this fine day?"
I rolled my eyes, pushing him off me, stumbling a little bit with the dizziness. "You've obviously been hanging out with Valentine today."
"Did I hear someone speak my name?" said a silky voice from behind me. I could feel incubus breath on my neck, he was so close.
I turned around slowly so as not to tempt him into jumping me. He could get a little frisky from time to time. "Speak of the devil," I said, patting him on the chest, adding a little zap of the Green in my touch so he'd remember who he was dealing with.
His smile grew wider and his eyes danced with promises I hoped he didn't plan to keep. "My gorgeous, ferocious darling," he said, leaning in for a kiss on the cheek. "How are things?"
He and Sam shared a soft, clinging high five before he turned his attention back to me.
"We were headed off to Maggie's," I said.
He lost his smile. "Whyever would you want to do that?" He cocked a hip and folded one arm over his chest, resting the opposite elbow on it as he tapped his chin. "Someone is nervous." He was totally reading my mood like a boss, looking sly and fly as hell while he did it, too. Damn those incubi, looking so good dressed all in black.
"Yeah, I am a little nervous to be honest. I keep seeing these annoying crows everywhere, and it's freaking me out. We were going to go ask her if it was supposed to mean something."
He lost all forms of humor from his expression. "You're seeing crows?"
As if on cue, several of them squawked behind him. His head whipped around, and he glared into the trees. "The devil's business," he muttered.
"What was that?" Sam asked.
My throat went dry. "Yeah, uh, care to repeat that?"
He looked at me again and put on a fake smile. "Oh, it was nothing. But how about we go inside and get you something to eat?" He reached down and patted my still flat stomach. "You look famished."
I rolled my eyes, waiting for him to finish dicking around. When he stood straight again, I spoke. "Out with it, Valentine."
He glanced at Spike who was standing there with his eyebrows raised in confusion.
"Out with what, baby-cakes?" Valentine smiled at me again, only this time it looked just a liiiittle bit predatory. This was his way of trying to intimidate me.
"Don't you 'baby-cakes' me. Out with it!" I put my hands on my hips. "Tell me whatever it is you're thinking right now."
"I could make him," Sam said, eyeing him up and down.
He pointed at her with a very nicely manicured and disturbingly long fingernail. "Don't be so eager to come out of the sand box, baby child. You aren't ready for the big leagues yet."
She actually smiled at that thinly veiled threat, and it made me shiver. Sometimes Sam's badassery was freaking scary.
"Care to make a wager on that?"
she asked.
I held up my hands and stepped between them. "Ooookay, enough of that nonsense. How about if I agree to go eat something, because I actually am pretty hungry, and you agree to come sit with me and talk to me about crows?" I smiled very sweetly up at Valentine and then glared at my cousin. "And you agree to keep your magic to yourself."
Sam rolled her eyes and put her wand in her belt. "Fine. Be that way."
"I could be convinced to have a meal," Valentine said, fluffing up his sleeve and sniffing.
"Excellent. How about you take me in. I'm tired." I looped my arm through his and began our walk to the nearest door to the compound.
"You know…," Valentine said near my ear in a low voice, "…if I didn't know any better, I'd think you've been practicing your international diplomacy and not just your elemental control."
I chuckled. "Yeah, well, don't get too excited. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while."
He tipped his head back and laughed so loud, it scared a few crows out of the nearby branches. His good humor disappeared immediately, and he picked up the pace. "I am literally starving for the food on that buffet."
"Mmm-hmmm," I said, not for one minute fooled by his act.
CHAPTER THIRTY
OUR DINNER BUFFET was the same as it always was, but the dinner conversation was another story. Valentine tried to play off our moments out in the forest as nothing but young fae silliness, but I knew better. He was as bothered by those crows as I was, and I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily.
"So, Valentine," I said, putting down my fork next to my almost empty plate. "Tell us about the crows." I rested my chin on my hand and stared at him.
"What's she talkin' about?" Finn asked, pointing first at me with his dessert spoon and then at the wise incubus sitting at our table. "What crows?"
"Oh, sweetie," Becky said, using her napkin to wipe away a piece of cheesecake schmeg that was hanging on the corner of his mouth. "Let me help you."
"Awww, thank you, baby," he said, grinning at her with goo-goo eyes, leaning over for a kiss when she was done.
"Oh, my god, would you two spare me the gooey romance, please?" I rolled my eyes at them.
"Shush, Jayne. Don't be jealous," Becky said, smooching her man right there at the table.
"I think I'm going to skip dessert," Sam said, dropping her spoon with a clang onto her plate.
Scrum was unusually quiet, probably because Long was across the table sitting next to Mike. Scrum was trying desperately to play it cool, but there was just no way he could pull it off. He could not keep his eyes off her, and every time she interacted with Mike, he looked like he was turning green with envy. I kicked him under the table to get his attention.
"Huh?" He looked at me and then at everyone else. "Did I miss something?"
"Valentine was just going to tell us about crows," I said, looking at the older guy meaningfully.
"You are like a dog with a bone, young Jayne," he said, sighing heavily. "Can't we just let this one go?"
"Seriously? When have you ever seen her do that?" Becky asked.
Before I could open my mouth to agree, Tim came flying into the room, breathless. "Hi! I made it! Phew! What's up? Where's my fruit? You didn't get me any fruit? Did you not even think of me while I was out there working to keep you safe from evil?" He stomped around on the table, lifting up napkins, hoping to find sustenance below one of them.
There was a strawberry hidden under the uneaten portion of a biscuit on my plate. I used my fork to flick it at him. "Here. Bite on this." I launched it at the exact moment he turned around to face me.
It was a direct hit—strawberry, right to the gut. And it went a lot faster than I'd meant for it to, unfortunately. It hit him so hard, his body folded in half around it and went flying backwards. He landed on his ass and skidded an inch or two before he finally came to a stop. The strawberry rolled up onto his chest, forcing him to fall back onto the table with his arms and legs spread out in starfish formation. The strawberry came to rest on his face.
"Oh my word," said Finn.
"Oh, Tim, are you okay?" Becky asked, her hand hovering over him. She wanted to help him out but was probably too afraid. Tim could get pretty upset when his pixiness ended up being his downfall, and this definitely qualified as one of those occasions.
His voice came out muffled. "Get. This fruit. Off. My face."
I reached over and nudged it to the side. "Ooops. That went a little bit faster than I meant for it to. Sorry."
He just lay there blinking and staring up at the ceiling. I tried super hard not to laugh, but it was impossible. The berry had stained his nose bright red, and three seeds from the fruit's skin were stuck to his cheeks and forehead. Several snorts escaped my nasal passages.
I wasn't the only one struggling to contain myself. Spike had to turn away from the table and started coughing loudly. He sounded like a barking dog. Long was giggling like a mad hatter, and Mike was chuckling like someone who had smoked way too much weed. We sounded like we all belonged in the mental ward.
Tim sat up very slowly, reminding me of Frankenstein rising from the dead. He was definitely avoiding looking at me. His hand reached up and slowly peeled the seeds off his skin. He motioned for Becky to come closer.
She leaned down so she could hear him, her face an inch away.
Tim yelled really loudly. So loudly, in fact, that Becky was probably able to hear him as clearly as if he'd been standing inside her ear canal. "Would someone mind handing me a moist napkin?!!"
Becky's eyes went super wide and she leaned in really close to me, whispering in my ear in a high pitched voice. "He…said…moist."
"Baaaahaaaahaaaa!!" A guffaw burst out of me like it had rocket fuel behind it. I was completely out of control. Becky's expression was killing me. She was barely holding it together. I had to press on my stomach so I wouldn't lose my dinner.
Spike was on the floor at that point, writhing around with a silent laugh-scream on his face. Becky and Finn were holding on to one another, both of them shaking with laughter. Scrum was even smiling, hiding his reaction behind his fist.
"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, Valentine," Tim said, sighing in disgust. "Two adults among children. We are never going to survive the coming onslaught."
Valentine pointed at Tim but spoke to me. "Is the strawberry talking to me?"
That set me off all over again, and I couldn't answer. It was taking all my strength not to vomit as I laughed uncontrollably.
Tim flew up from the table, yelling incoherent cuss words and listing my transgressions as a roommate that included snoring, farting, cover-stealing, and inconsiderate pillow usage. He was gone before I had a chance to catch my breath, calm him down, and figure out what he meant by 'inconsiderate pillow usage'. Do I hog the pillows?
"Where's he goin' off to?" asked Finn.
"To soothe his damaged pride," I was finally able to say. I put my hand on Valentine's arm, a little dizzy from all the laughing, but feeling a lot lighter too. Pixies are such good medicine. "But seriously, tell us about the crows."
That was all I needed to lose my good humor completely…thinking about those big, black birds following me all over the place for the past couple days. Tim was awesome for lifting the mood, even when he didn't intend to, but it was time to stop the fun and get to the hard part of living, otherwise known as: 'being an adult about shit'.
Valentine sighed. "I suppose it could be a mistake to let you wander the forest without knowing."
"Without knowing what?" Spike said, going serious all of a sudden. "Come on, man, don't be like that. You're scaring her."
I watched the two incubi exchange looks and something passed between them that I couldn't identify. Bonding? An agreement of some sort? There was no way for me to know.
"Okay. Listen up, little babies." Valentine motioned for us to gather in closer. Everyone huddled up, even Long and Mike, who came around behind us and crouched down. "Crow
s are messengers. They don't answer the call of any particular being and they aren't servants of anyone. But they see things we do not, and they observe—over vast distances—the goings-on of various races. They communicate with one another and they have very deep emotions. They are not merely smart, they are extremely clever, and they know that their survival depends on ours. In my experience—and I've been around for a very long time, don't let this flawless skin and nubile body fool you—crows never bring good news. They send warnings of dark times ahead."
"What are they warning me about, though?" I asked. "Are the Forsaken coming early? Because the concerts aren't today, right? Don’t we have, like, another week or something? Or is it something else? Or is it just the Forsaken themselves? Are they giving me lots of advance warning or telling me about something unexpected that's on the way?"
"I don't know what they're warning you about. We cannot communicate with them. I don't want you to get upset that we can't interpret things any more clearly than that, and this is why I didn't want to say anything."
"I know you want to keep me calm, and I appreciate that, but if something out there is bothering to warn me, I don't want to ignore it. I want to be prepared for what's coming, and I think the crows want that too."
"And what will you do differently?" he asked, challenging me. "You're training, you're being cautious—always going out with one or more friends at your side…you're sleeping with an incubus every night. What else can you do?"
I looked at my friends, searching their faces. "Keep my friends closer?"