“You can still be a mum, you know?” Declan says, his words coming out gently.
Not wanting to be rude and completely shut him out, I give him a weak grin and softly request, “Can we talk about something else please?”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s just not something I talk about often, so . . .”
“You don’t have to say anything else,” he assures before giving me a kiss and wrapping me back up in his arms.
I ENDED UP leaving Declan the other night after our bath. Bennett was returning from Miami the following day and I wanted to be home in case he arrived early. I’ve been careful about my communication with Declan while my husband is home. We talk mostly through email because those are easily deleted unlike phone records that are logged and recorded. I would prefer to not even send emails, but Declan insists on talking to me throughout the day.
While Bennett is in the shower, I sit in the study to find that I already have an email waiting for me.
FROM: D. McKinnon
TO: Nina Vanderwal
SENT: Jan. 10, 1:23pm
SUBJECT: Want You
When does he leave? I want to see you.
-D
I quickly reply while I still hear the water running from Bennett’s shower.
FROM: Nina Vanderwal
TO: D. McKinnon
SENT: Jan. 10, 1:58pm
SUBJECT: Re: Want You
Some people find it polite to start with a greeting, even if it’s as small as a simple ‘Hello.’ But to answer your question, he leaves around 3:30pm.
-Nina
His response is almost immediate.
FROM: D. McKinnon
TO: Nina Vanderwal
SENT: Jan. 10, 2:00pm
SUBJECT: Greeting as suggested- HELLO.
Meet me at the hotel?
-D
FROM: Nina Vanderwal
TO: D. McKinnon
SENT: Jan. 10, 2:01pm
SUBJECT: Re: Greeting as suggested- HELLO.
We need to work on your social etiquette. Greetings in the subject line are rude as well. I can be there at 4:00pm.
-Nina
FROM: D. McKinnon
TO: Nina Vanderwal
SENT: Jan. 10, 2:04pm
SUBJECT: Etiquette Reject
4:00 then. Come to my room. I’ll leave an elevator key for you at the front desk.
-D
FROM: Nina Vanderwal
TO: D. McKinnon
SENT: Jan. 10, 2:05pm
SUBJECT: Cheap
Why do I feel like a prostitute or worse, a booty call?
-Nina
FROM: D. McKinnon
TO: Nina Vanderwal
SENT: Jan. 10, 2:06pm
SUBJECT: Cheap?
Booty call? What the hell is that? Regardless, you know damn well you are so much more than either of those. But I’m not going to sweeten it up for you; I need you, and I’m growing impatient and harder with each minute I don’t have your body all over mine. 4:00!!
-D
I laugh at the realization that he doesn’t pick up on the American slang as I delete the emails from my inbox and then delete out of my trash. Closing the laptop lid, I make my way into the bedroom where Bennett is walking out of the bathroom, covered in only a towel. I smile as I walk over to his suitcase.
“What’s that smirk all about?” he questions as he approaches.
“You.”
“What about me?”
“Walking around here wet, wearing only a towel, is a mean thing to do to your wife,” I tease.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re leaving me for a couple of weeks, and this is the lasting vision you’re giving me.”
“And what about what I gave you a couple hours ago?” he says, referring to the long sex session we had earlier.
“That will give me something to think about when I’m lying in bed at night . . . lonely.”
“You better call me when you’re feeling lonely,” he says suggestively, sparking me to laugh.
“Stop that. You need to go get ready before you start running late,” I nag. “I’ll finish packing for you.”
“Whatever you say, boss,” he jokes before kissing me chastely and then walking back into the bathroom.
I gather the rest of his things from his closet and make sure he has everything he needs packed up. Bennett and Baldwin will be in Dubai for the next two weeks, along with Richard. They will be working on hiring a team while the renovations are still underway. I shifted around Clara’s schedule to allow myself more freedom to come and go without her eyes on me.
When Bennett finally comes out of the bathroom about a half hour later, I decide to give him a proper good wife farewell. Maybe it’s my conscience weighing on me, or maybe it’s knowing I want to keep him from getting suspicious of me, but no matter what, I need to do whatever I can to make him think that what we have together is solid. So as I walk towards him, I reach under my arm and start unzipping the side zipper of my dress. He stays put, staring at me as I stroll across the room. When I’m standing in front of him, he slips his hands under the straps on my shoulders and allows the dress to fall to the floor around my feet.
“I just want you,” I tell him, “One more time before you go.”
“However many times you need, I’ll give it to you.”
And he does. Maybe I’m overcompensating, but I feel it’s needed as we lose all track of time. Once I’ve led him to believe that I’m fully sated, we pull ourselves together and regroup. I take a glance at the clock to see it’s already four and that I should be at Declan’s hotel. When Baldwin walks in to help Bennett with his luggage, I grab my coat from the closet and slip it on.
“Where are you headed?” Bennett asks, and I quickly lie, “I told Marcia I would meet her for a coffee when you left. But now you’ve made me late,” I flirt with a wink.
“I believe you made me late, Mrs. Vanderwal.”
“Are you complaining?”
“Not at all, and please feel free to make me even later if it suits you.”
I catch Baldwin smiling as he overhears our conversation and turn to Bennett, accusing, “You’re a perv.”
“Only for you,” he laughs. “I’m going to miss you.”
We say our goodbyes on the elevator down to the lobby. Bennett seems genuinely sad to be leaving me while I’m anxious to get to Declan, knowing I’m running really late. I keep it hidden though as I take my time playing the loving wife who’s already missing her husband who hasn’t even left yet. But when he does, and we exchange our gentle kisses, Bennett walks out to the car where Baldwin is waiting and I head down to the parking garage.
When I arrive at Lotus, I leave my car with the valet before walking in and picking up the keycard Declan left for me at the front desk. As I step out onto the top floor, I use the keycard to let myself in to Declan’s penthouse room.
“Where the fuck have you been?” he immediately shouts when I walk in, and the gravel in his voice startles me.
“I’m sorry.”
“Where have you been for the past hour?”
He stands across the room as he barks his words at me. Wearing a tailored suit and tie, he looks powerful in his firm stance, and his narrowed eyes and clamped jaw are evidence that he’s beyond pissed.
“Declan, I’m sorry,” I say softly. “Bennett was running late and didn’t leave until now. I got here as soon as I could.”
He begins to make his way over to me, hands clenched in fists to his sides, stating, “I don’t like not knowing where you are. You say four o’clock, you better be in front of me at four o’clock.”
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. If I argue, I’m just gonna piss him off even more. His hand comes out to grip me under my chin. With his face hovering over mine, he admits, “I was worried something happened to you.”
“I’m s-sorry,” I breathe.
Dropping his forehead to mine, he cl
oses his eyes for a moment as he takes in a deep intake of air through his nose. My body jumps when his fingers suddenly pierce into my jaw, and I can feel every bit of tension in his body as he opens his eyes and takes a small step back with my face still in his grip. His eyes are venomous, causing my heart to pound as a small whimper sounds from my throat.
“His smell is all over you,” he seethes in disgust.
“I-I . . .”
“Did you fuck him before you came here?” his voice grinds out from his clenched jaw, but I don’t lie when I whisper on a shaky breath, “Yes.”
His hand falls from my chin as he looks at me in pure anger.
“On the bed,” he barks. “And take that fucking dress off, I don’t want to smell him when I’m fucking you.”
“Declan, please.”
“Get on the fucking bed! NOW!”
The bite to his words has me in a panic, worrying about what he’s going to do, but I don’t hesitate when I start moving across the room and into the bedroom. Quickly removing my dress, I sit on the edge of the bed and wait in the darkness for Declan. It takes him a while, but eventually he appears in the doorway. His shirt is now off, and his slacks hang on his hips with his belt clutched in one hand. The sour taste of bile burns the back of my throat, and I close my eyes, begging, “Declan, please.”
“Don’t talk, Nina.”
I keep my eyes closed out of fear and urge on the disconnect, willing the fire of revenge to consume me so Declan won’t have this power over me. I know he’s right in front of me; I can feel the heat of him soaking into my skin.
“I’m not stupid to think you wouldn’t have sex with that man, but I expect you to come to me clean, do you understand?”
With a quick nod of my head, he snaps, “Answer me!”
“Yes.”
“Open your eyes, and answer me.”
When I open my eyes, I notice the strained muscles in his arms and shoulders as I murmur, “Yes.”
“Were you trying to make me jealous?”
“No,” I quickly blurt out in defense. “I didn’t . . . I didn’t think, Declan. I’m sorry.”
He moves to sit down next to me, saying, “I’m going to punish you now. Not because I want to hurt you, but because I don’t want you to forget.”
“Please,” I say as I shake my head, and when he looks at me, it’s dejection that I see in his eyes.
“I don’t ever want to smell him on you again.”
“I promise.”
“Lay your chest across my lap,” he instructs in an even voice.
I reach my hand over, placing it on his knee, giving it a soft squeeze, before obeying his request and laying myself across his thighs. When I close my eyes, I hear the clank of his metal belt buckle as it hits the floor, and in a few movements, he takes his tie out of his pants pocket, and wraps my wrists in the cool silk, knotting the fabric tightly.
His hand begins to caress my exposed ass in nothing but a lace thong, and then his hand his gone. Tensing up, I wait for the impending strike, and when it finally comes in a merciless slap against my flesh, I yelp out in a bleeding squeal as the pain radiates through my skin.
In the next second comes another vicious blow as he grunts with force.
And another.
Another.
Smack.
Smack.
Smack.
“Aaagh,” I cry out in fiery pain. The sting of his firm hand hitting me chokes me up with each punishing slap. My arms strain against his silk tie, and his hands grab my hips, throwing me forcefully on my back, landing in the center of the bed. Smiling cagily at me, exultant in debasing me. Like a raging animal, he rips my panties down my legs, forces my thighs open, and strikes my pussy with an excruciating slap.
I scream out in pain as tears spring to my eyes. His soft tongue is immediately on my now burning flesh, licking me in a slow lap over my seam. The contrast of his touches has a maniacal effect on me, evoking vulnerable whimpers. I feel everything he’s doing, but I’m also outside of my body, no longer in control of any part of me. Emotions take over—fear, pleasure, pain, satisfaction, sadness, comfort. They conflict and collide in a volatile war inside of me, taking me over as I fall powerless to Declan, lying here as he kisses and licks through my folds the same way he does my mouth. He then slips his hand under my back, finding my hand and holding it tightly as my mind begins to swirl in a kaleidoscope of colors and lights, and I give in to the goodness of it all, losing myself as he wraps his mouth around the sensitive bundle of nerves while he pumps his finger inside of me.
To ward off the pleasure in his touch is a doomed feat as I lie here, restrained, weak to everything he’s giving me until I feel the wet heat between my legs as I crash into fragments of pure warmth as it trills through my core and down my limbs. A glittering fire sparking inside of my veins, taking my body captive as I writhe under his touch, our hands clenched together.
All I can think in this moment is that this man is obscene.
He doesn’t give me a chance to gather all the pieces he just broke me into when he jerks me up and pushes me to sit on my heels as he stands on his knees before me. Fisting my hair in each of his hands, he yanks my head back, looks down at me, demanding, “Suck my cock with that sweet mouth of yours,” before forcing my head down, but I take him willingly into my mouth. He doesn’t give me any control as he tugs my hair, bobbing me up and down the length of him. I begin to fight his demanding ways, pushing my head back against his hands, wanting to move more slowly, but he’s much stronger than me with my hands bound behind my back.
“Don’t fight me, Nina,” he grunts, but I want to. I want to fight him and he feels it, yelling in scolding grit, “Yield to me!”
But I don’t and he pulls my hair harder, biting on his sulfurous voice, “Yield to it. Trust me, baby.”
The whisper of his pleading demands seep out through the cracks of his words. He doesn’t know I hear it, but I do, and something about it makes me turn it over to him, giving him the control he so desperately needs for some reason. He moves me along the heat of his large cock as I let my tongue glide along the silky smooth flesh. The sounds spurring from him are nothing but primal lust, and when I feel him thicken in my mouth, he throws me back on the bed, straddles his knees on either side of me, pulling off a couple of hard pumps, right before he shoots his cum onto my stomach and tits. His eyes are pinned to mine as he spreads himself on me while he continues to jerk himself off. I watch him—he’s beautifully brutal with his merciless touch.
He keeps my arms tied behind me as he lies down next to me and pulls me into his hold, hugging me against his strong body. I’m completely vulnerable to him, naked and restrained, but I’m not scared. He punished me, yes, but he’d never really hurt me. He keeps telling me to trust him, and I can at least trust knowing that I’m safe with him, so with my hands bound, my body goes limp, molding to his as he holds on to me.
We lie there together, his cum drying on my skin, as he combs his fingers through my hair, saying, “I only want to smell myself on you,” before he reaches behind me and unknots his tie.
As soon as my hands are free, I sling my arms around his neck, needing the comfort and not quite knowing how to react after what just happened between us. He cradles the back of my head, pressing his lips to my ear, whispering, “I’ve got you, darling.” And when I nod my head against his as I cling to him, he strengthens his hold on me as he breathes into my skin, “I adore you.”
My emotions are all over the place, and I don’t know what to do with the feelings that overcome me. It’s a sickening delight. I hate that he enjoys this with me, that he looks at me the way he does. But I really hate that I can’t escape with him. He doesn’t allow me that freedom and it scares the shit out of me. My heart continues to race as I lie here, and he feels it, keeping me close to him and giving me a soft, “Shhh,” in my ear. He holds me in his arms in a nurturing way, but Declan is far more primal than nurturing, yet somehow he’s able to b
lur those lines in moments like this.
“I missed you,” he eventually tells me.
“I missed you too,” I sigh. “But he’s gone, so I’m all yours.”
“I don’t just want you to be mine when he’s gone, Nina. I want it all the time.”
“It’s complicated, but I’m here with you, and I just want you now. No Bennett, please,” I urge.
Declan moves to kiss me, keeping his touches soft and affectionate, as we slowly move together. And with his lips against mine, he mumbles, “How are you feeling? Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
“I need you to know that I will always protect you,” he says, his words reminiscent of my father’s when I was younger, and when I pull away to look in Declan’s eyes, I can see the truth behind them.
“I know,” I tell him. “Trust comes hard for me, but I’m trying.”
“Love that.”
I smile at my manipulations as they come so easily with him. It’s like I don’t even have to think or try; I just speak and he’s putty in my hands. Eventually we fall asleep before waking a couple hours later. Declan orders up some food, and I lie, telling him that I need to be home because Bennett wanted to video chat later and he would know if I wasn’t at our place. Declan is frustrated but we agree that we will get together tomorrow and spend these next two weeks together as much as possible. Truth is, I have to go to Pike tonight.
Before I leave, Declan installs an app on my cell phone that will allow us to text without anything being tracked by phone records. His possessive ways make me laugh, but I’m curious to know why he is the way that he is.