Benji’s frame filled the doorway, his eyes narrowed and focused on me. I was so surprised to see him I couldn’t speak at first. He cocked an eyebrow, waiting.
“Is Jax here?” I asked. It wasn’t really what I wanted to say.
“Nope,” he replied coolly.
I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at him. He had no right to be mean to me. He was the one who ditched me. If he didn’t want to be my boyfriend all he had to do was say so. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t still be friends.
“You’ve turned into such an asshole since you got your license.” I backed up as he opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.
“I’m an asshole?” he shot back incredulously. He kept coming closer, causing me to step backward until my butt was pressed into the porch railing.
“Yes,” I hissed. “You don’t come around anymore. You refuse to talk to me, and then when you do, you’re mean.”
“Sorry. I’m not Jax.”
“What does that mean?” I had never been very good with confrontation. Especially when it came to Benji. We always played the denial game, never wanting to shake the foundation our friendship was built on. But I was sick of it. My legs began to shake and my stomach was rolling, making me feel queasy. I dropped my hands, placing them flat against my belly, and hoped I wouldn’t embarrass myself more by puking all over his shoes.
“I took some time to myself so I could think and you replaced me with my brother. That’s what that means.”
“You took some time to yourself? Why? Was I that big of a pain to be around that you needed time to yourself? You could have told me I was getting on your nerves. It would have hurt, but it would have hurt less than not knowing why you suddenly couldn’t stand to be near me.”
I turned to leave, trying to push past him as the tears stung my eyes. Fourteen is such a difficult age. You feel everything wholly and none of it makes sense. I knew I was about to cry, but I wasn’t even sure if it was from anger or sadness. I never liked Benji seeing me cry, usually because it had such a painful effect on him. But this time I wanted to hide it out of pride.
His hand clamped down on my wrist and my head snapped up to look at him. I was ready to kick him, punch him, scream. But the expression on his face caught me by surprise, and I found myself gaping instead.
Less than one rapid heartbeat later, Benji tugged me against him, our chests slamming into one another, enough to knock the breath I had been holding loose. One hand was still tightly clamped around my wrist, the other cupped around the back of my neck. And then he was kissing me. His lips were rough, forceful. His tongue poked at my closed lips, demanding entrance. I had never kissed a guy before. Nobody but Benji, and those were only pecks.
This kiss was…it was making my toes curl, my stomach fill with butterflies, and my head lose all rational thought. My fingers swirled into his hair as I readily opened my mouth, inviting him in.
His tongue was soft, warm, and wet, and I liked it immediately. Having his taste in my mouth was something I never knew I was missing until I had it. And I never wanted it to end. It took only a moment to find his rhythm and I carefully matched it. As his tongue swept across mine, I knew I couldn’t go back. I’d never be able to not kiss Benji. I wanted to do this all day—every day. And that still may not be enough.
He broke the kiss, which was good, I guess, because I didn’t know how to stop. I slid my fingers over my lips, dazed. What just happened between us?
“I needed time to make sure that when I did that, I meant it.”
“Did you?” I asked stupidly. If he didn’t mean it, then I wanted to know what it felt like when he did.
“Yes.”
He grinned at me then and I returned it easily. We didn’t talk about what it meant for us or how it changed things. He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend, which admittedly hurt a little. But he started coming back around as if he never left. Only now, he kissed me any chance he could. We kept it between ourselves for as long as we could. It was something we didn’t share with anybody else. It was ours and ours alone.
And it was perfect.
~*~
I open my eyes to a dark room. I’m disoriented for a moment until I feel Benji’s steady breaths raising his chest beneath my hand. I have to pee, but I don’t want to get up. If I get up, we’ll have to deal with all the problems we were able to shove aside for a few beautiful moments. I’m not ready to face them yet.
I press my cheek to Benji’s heart, basking in the sensation of his smooth, warm skin against mine, and the lulling beat of his heart.
Having a summer birthday, I started school later than most kids. This meant Benji and I didn’t go to school together after grade school until my freshman year. He was a junior and we didn’t have any classes together. Even so, this didn’t stop everybody from assuming we were together.
I smile at the memory. I don’t know how it was for him, but boys never asked me out. If there was a dance for either of us, it was just implied that he and I would attend together.
Benji wasn’t able to go to my senior prom because he was gone by then. But I went to his. It was the night I lost my virginity. I was only sixteen, but compared to most of the other girls in my school, including Kameron, I was the weird one. Ironically (or not), 16 and Pregnant was in its second season on MTV.
Everybody had always assumed Benji and I had been having sex for years. And if I had my way, that’s exactly how it would have been. But Benji wanted to wait. He wanted me to be sure. He wanted it to be perfect for me. He wanted me to be older, which, I argued, was ludicrous because we did so many other things from the moment I hit fifteen. And there are only so many things to do before sex is all that’s left.
Our first time, though wonderful in its own way, was nothing like it was last night. I huff out a small laugh. It had never been like it was last night. It’s painful to think about how Benji improved over the years.
And then I think about the fact we didn’t use a condom. I hadn’t thought about it at the time because in the past, we hadn’t used them. I went on the pill at thirteen to help with my menstrual cramping, and then had been so grateful for them when my relationship with Benji went to the level where I needed them to prevent pregnancy. We were only ever with each other back then, so it wasn’t an issue. We trusted each other. But now, I have no clue how many women he’s been with. What kind of women.
I know about Megan. But who else?
I cringe with the thought.
Benji’s hand sweeps the hair off my face and he caresses my neck. “You awake?” he asks, his voice thick and raspy with sleep.
I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m up.”
“I need to call Payton at the grocery store. See if Jax has checked in with her. I’ll check on your parents too.”
My heart thumps anxiously at the mention of my parents. “Okay,” I murmur as I sit up. My ribs ache from our earlier activity, but I ignore the pain. “Do you have a plan?”
He looks up at me, his eyes trailing over my face before making the languid trip down, unabashedly stopping on my bare breasts. “Not yet,” he sighs. “Let me talk to her first, then we’ll go from there.”
“Okay,” I say again. Benji’s eyes follow my every movement as I pull the sheet around me and slide off the bed. “I’m going to take a shower while you do that.”
“I’m going to use the phone across the street at the convenience store. Do you want anything?”
“No, I’m all right.”
“Are you?”
I pause with my hand on the bathroom handle and look over my shoulder at him. “I don’t know,” I utter.
He nods once, the movement tight, controlled. He looks away and I let the door close.
34
Benji
I wait until I hear the shower start before I flip on the bedside light and pull my jeans back on. I refuse to let my mind go there with Briar. I refuse to think she regrets our time together. Regrets me. I’m going to focus
on my current task instead.
Calling Payton at the store. I’ll call Grandpa’s personal line and make it quick just to be safe.
Once I’m dressed, I grab my wallet out of Briar’s backpack. I see the gun tucked along the side. I pluck it out. My fingers brush over the petals of the flower I left her a few days back. They’re dry and flaking apart.
How fitting.
I verify the gun’s safety is on—and tuck it into the back of my jeans, covering it with my shirt. I scoop up the key, sitting on the dresser, and head out the door.
I’m still tired. My body’s weak. I know I need a few more days, but I don’t have the luxury of time. I need to find my brother and make sure we all get somewhere safe. If that place even exists.
The night is warm and muggy as I half jog, half walk across the highway. The sun is setting, but it’s still uncomfortably hot. The cool, stale air feels nice when I push into the store. The clerk at the register looks up from his magazine as I approach him.
“Hey man, you have a phone I can use?”
“’Round back. Payphone by the bathrooms.”
“Can I get change?” I ask as I pull my wallet from my back pocket.
“Can’t open the register unless you make a purchase.”
I remember this from a short stint at a gas station when we first moved to Michigan. I nod, grabbing a couple candy bars, and tossing them on the counter. I could use the sugar right now anyway.
I take my change and go directly around back to call Payton. I can see our motel room from here, and I keep my eyes locked on the faded red door as the phone rings in my ear.
“Hello?” Payton answers breathlessly. She must have been stocking. I feel like shit for not being there to help again.
I clear the guilt from my throat, finding my voice. “It’s me,” I say. Nothing else.
“Oh, my God. It took you long enough,” she says, her voice lowering with each word. “Jaxon called two days ago.”
I close my eyes. He called. That’s good. That’s so damn good. But it was two days ago.
“What’d he say?”
“He said you guys got separated. They’re all okay, but he didn’t know where you and Briar were. Is she with you?”
“Yeah. We’re together and we’re good. Anything else?”
“He said if you called to tell you he was going to be in Atlanta on Thursday morning. He said they were bouncing around from place to place.”
“Atlanta?” Mom had a friend there. An old boyfriend who wasn’t the most pleasant person. I can’t see my brother going there for any reason.
“At the aquarium,” Payton adds. “He said you’d know.”
The Georgia Aquarium. Jax used to have an obsession for all things aquatic. Sharks especially. When he found out that the largest aquarium in the world was here in the U.S. he begged to see it. Mom promised she’d take us there, but never did.
“What time Thursday?” Fuck. Is today Wednesday? I can’t remember what day it is.
“He’ll be in the parking lot an hour before they open. That’s all he told me.”
I sigh. “Okay. How are you and Grandpa? Has anybody come around? Have you talked to Briar’s parents?”
“Benji, listen, some guys came asking questions, so her parents didn’t have a choice.”
“A choice about what? What happened?”
“They called the news station. I thought that’s what you meant… Have you seen the news?”
My entire stomach spasms with panic. “What do you mean? What’s on the news? What did they say?”
“The guys came around, asking about you, Briar, Flynn. They threatened Grandpa. So Pine called the news station. She told them that just days after the murder and fire at Flynn’s house, her daughter went missing. She did it to protect us. Otherwise, I think we’d all be dead by now. The guys backed off when all the reporters started showing up. They’ve connected you all together—Briar, Jaxon, Flynn, Kameron. Even Mom. The deaths and disappearances of so many people who all happen to know each other is pretty intriguing. I swear, Benji, I don’t think it’ll be long before someone puts it all together. Maybe it’ll all come out and you guys can come back home.”
I don’t allow myself to even consider it. I can’t count on that. “Are we…are our faces on TV?”
“Your faces are everywhere. It’s made national news.”
Shit. This is so fucking bad. Now we’re not just hiding from Delphi, but everybody who may have seen the story. All it’ll take is one phone call about our whereabouts and we’re screwed. Delphi can buy just about anyone.
“All right. I need to go. Thanks for the info.”
“Be careful,” she whispers.
I hang up and take a deep breath, trying to process everything. I don’t know what time it is or even what day it is. I don’t even know if I’ll make it to Georgia in time.
I don’t have a car. I’m low on cash.
Fuck.
I jog as quickly as I can back to the motel and trudge up the stairs to our room. I don’t want to go in and dump all this on Briar. I don’t want to see what I’ve done to her life shadowed on her face.
I grab the railing in both hands, letting my head fall between my arms. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do. We need help. But there’s nobody who can help us.
“I take it you didn’t get good news?” Briar says, resting her hand against my back. I let myself soak up her comfort, if only for a second.
“What day is it?”
“Wednesday,” she says, a clear question in her tone.
“What time is it?”
“A little before eight.” Again, the question’s there, but she doesn’t ask it.
“We have thirteen hours to get to Atlanta and we don’t have a car. There’s about ninety dollars left in my wallet. And our faces are all over the news.” I straighten up and finally look at her. “No, not good news.”
35
Briar
After I pulled Benji inside and made him clarify all that information, I paced for several minutes, trying to work it out. Sadly, what I kept stumbling over was the fact that my face was on TV for everybody to see.
I still can’t seem to wrap my head around that.
But I’m glad my parents found a way to buy themselves time. I’m also terrified they pissed Delphi off with that stunt.
“I have a credit card,” I say as I come to a stop at the end of the bed.
“We can’t use a credit card. They’ll trace it.”
“So what? They already know we’re in North Carolina. Or at least that we were. We rent a car and get the hell out of here.”
“You have to be twenty-five to rent a car. And most rentals have tracking devices. It wouldn’t work.”
I bite my lip and start pacing again. I never tried to rent a car before, so I didn’t know that. A bus is out of the question—we don’t have enough time or money. I contemplate hitchhiking for a moment before the image of being kidnapped and murdered flashes through my mind.
There has to be somewhere that rents to someone under twenty-five. I saw college kids on campus rent U-Hauls more than once.
“What about U-Haul? Do they use tracking devices?”
Benji lifts his head from the pillow, sitting up abruptly. He swings his legs onto the floor and pulls the nightstand drawer open, snatching out the phone book. “Not if you rent from a smaller dealer. I think it’s standard on the new trucks, but the little franchise owners don’t usually bother spending the money to add them to the older vehicles.” He glances up at me and grins. “You’re a genius.”
As he flips through the pages, I move around the room, packing up the couple items we have.
“Okay, there’s one not too far from here. We could actually just walk it, I think. We need to hurry, though. They close soon.” He scoops up his backpack, plucks a folded piece of paper from the outside pocket, and slips it into his jeans. “Let’s go,” he says.
Benji sets a fast pace as we
book ass to the U-Haul place. I struggle to keep up with his long strides, but I don’t complain about it. It feels good to have some sort of a plan and to actually do something.
“Hopefully nobody will recognize you, but if they do, we get out of there fast.” He looks sideways at me and I nod. “They’ll need to run your card, but if everything goes right, we tell them our destination is Michigan. That way if Delphi is tracking your card, he’ll think we’re coming to him. Can you take out cash advances?”
“Yeah, up to three hundred dollars.”
“Okay good. If they have an ATM, pull the money out first. We’ll need it for gas.”
The sign comes into view, still lit, and I breathe a sigh of relief while urging my legs to move faster.
~*~
Maybe I’m turning into a pessimist, but I honestly didn’t expect renting the U-Haul to go as smoothly as it did. With the luck we’ve had, I figured the guy behind the counter would take one look at me and call the cops.
He barely even glanced in my direction and everything went exactly as Benji had hoped it would. As we pull onto the highway, I laugh, half out of relief and half out of surprise. Benji glances at me and grins, sharing the sentiment.
“If we drive straight through, we’ll make it with time to spare.” He reaches over and takes my hand. I intertwine our fingers and rest our hands in his lap. We stay this way, enjoying our little victory until my eyes begin to droop. I raise my eyebrows, trying to force my eyelids open to no avail.
“Get some sleep,” he insists. “I have no idea when we’ll get the opportunity to rest again.
“Okay. Wake me up in a little bit so I can switch with you,” I say. I have no idea if he hears me or if he replies because I slip into oblivion.
We were swimming in Kam’s pond. It was so hot that day, that even though I lathered on sunblock and tried to stay in the shaded areas, I could feel myself getting burnt.