His smile softens, causing his eyes to crinkle, and my breath leaves me for another reason. He’s so handsome, so big and masculine yet rough around the edges. Stubble lines his cheeks and I have the sudden memory of those rough cheeks rubbing against my thighs … my pussy … driving me wild.
“What do you want me to do to you?” He brings my hand up to his face and inhales. “Fuck, you smell amazing.”
My entire body goes weak at his words. “Make me come so many times I pass out?” I ask hopefully.
He chuckles. “That doesn’t sound like punishment.”
“Passing out is definitely not a good thing,” I tell him, licking my lips, mimicking the way he’s licking my fingers. Tasting me. Oh God, this man is wicked.
“Passing out from too many orgasms is a fucking awesome thing.” He shakes his head. “I’m not going to tell you what I’m going to do to you.”
I frown. “You’re not?”
“Nope.” His smile grows. “I’m going to show you. And you’re going to both love it and hate it.”
Wariness fills me, along with fear and excitement. “O-okay.”
“Now lean back again.” I start to but he gathers me, his hands on my ass, lifting me up so my pussy is directly in front of his mouth. “Watch this, baby girl,” he murmurs just before he licks me.
A little scream escapes and he lifts his head away, glaring at me. “Quiet,” he whispers, and I clamp my lips shut, closing my eyes when he licks me again. And stops.
“I said watch me,” he commands, and my eyes fly open, excited and scared to see what he does next.
What he does is drive me out of my mind with pleasure. Just as I’m about to come he pauses, pulls away, changes the motion, rains kisses on my inner thighs. He toys with my clit with just the tip of his tongue, nudging it, flicking it, drawing it between his lips for one long, good suck, and then he’s moving on. Kissing my belly, stroking my thighs.
Driving me fucking crazy.
“A bad girl like you doesn’t deserve to come,” he whispers against my pussy after about ten minutes of exquisite torture. “Greedy girls have to learn patience.”
“What …” I swallow hard, my throat dry, my pussy anything but. Max’s lips glisten and just the sight of that alone turns me on. I’m so worked up I’m afraid he’ll breathe on my clit and I’ll come. “What if I can’t stop myself from coming?”
His gaze glitters like perfect sapphires. “Then you’ll be in even more trouble.”
He means it. He’ll do something to me that I can’t even fathom. And this torture he’s putting me through now is beyond ridiculous. I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience. Like I’m observing the both of us as he grips my ass with his large, flexing hands, my pussy an offering for him to feast on. His tongue touches every part of me, his lips, his teeth. I feel mindless, out of control, scared that I’ll come and he’ll hate me for it.
Excited that I’ll come and he’ll do something deliciously awful to me for disobeying him.
“You need to learn how to take orders, princess. Not give them,” he murmurs against my thigh as he kisses me there yet again. “Learn how to restrain yourself and do as I say.”
But it’s so hard. So incredibly hard. I’m dying to grab hold of his hair and tug him close, tell him exactly where to lick and suck. I’ve always taken charge with the other men in my life. It was all fun and games but ultimately, I was in control. They did what I said and I loved it.
Not this man. He won’t do anything that I say. He’s in command and I …
I love it. Hate it. Want more of it.
“You want to come?” he asks, sucking my clit between his lips before he lets it go.
I nod, not saying a word. Scared he’ll deny me if I say or do the wrong thing.
“I bet you’re going to convulse and cry out my name,” he says, his voice low. Hypnotic. He nuzzles my pussy with his nose, breathing deep, dropping sweet little kisses all over my flesh and making me shiver. “Maybe I should stick my fingers inside you so I can feel it when I finally let you come.”
God, whatever he needs or wants to do, I’d let him. Gladly.
“Not going to protest, princess? Did I finally break you?” I squint at him, batting away the anger that wants to surge, and he sees it. I can tell just by the change in his expression. But why do those words make me mad? Is it the way he said it? Or is it the word break? Everyone seems to want to break me, have a piece of me. I’m sick of it.
Can’t he just want me for me?
“You don’t want me to break you, do you?” he asks, shaking his head. “Well, too damn bad. By the time I’m through with you, you’ll be an obedient little girl, just how I like it.”
I can’t stand the thought of him being with any other women, which is crazy. Why do I care? I’ve been with plenty of men—not something I’m proud of, but I can’t deny it since pretty much every guy I’ve been with is documented via social media. But you don’t hear me talk about them. Don’t hear me bragging about my many conquests.
God, I’m jealous. A completely foreign emotion I rarely feel, at least when it comes to men.
The breeze blows over me, cooling my heated flesh, and I close my eyes, popping them back open when Max’s hands squeeze my butt. “I bought more condoms,” he says.
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
He leans in close as he pulls me even closer, until I’m tumbling back into his lap and his face is in mine. “You’re not mad at me, are you,” he murmurs just before he claims my mouth.
I open wide for him, our tongues thrusting, the unmistakable musky taste of my pussy making me even hotter. He has no shame, this man, and neither do I. He’s rough and a little mean and a lot sexy and I can’t get enough. There’s a connection between us I don’t want to fight. I like him. I want to spend more time with him, learn more about him.
The idea scares me.
His hands clamp around my waist and pull me down so I’m grinding my naked pussy on his clothed erection. He’s huge and hot, thick and long, and I rub against him shamelessly, whimpering into his mouth, increasing my pace.
“You getting off, baby?”
No need to answer because the orgasm hits me at full blast right at that very moment. I cry out, circling my arms around his neck as I cling to him, my hips working against his cock, loving the friction his swim trunks give me as I come all over him.
I can’t even care if I went against his rules. I’m limp in his arms, shivering and shaking, and he’s looking at me like he wants to both hug me close and shove me away.
“You disobeyed me,” he whispers, reaching out to trail his fingers across my cheek.
My eyes slide closed at his gentle touch and I tip my head back. My legs are wound tight around his waist and I bury my hands in his hair. “Sorry.” I don’t sound remorseful because I’m not. That was absolute torture and I needed the relief.
His other hand goes to my neck and he grips my nape, forcing me to face him once more. “It’s like you can’t help but be a bad girl.”
I smile, my heart aching at his words. “Haven’t you realized that’s what you’re dealing with? I am a bad girl. I do what I want, when I want. No one can tell me what to do.” Pausing, I let my gaze roam over his handsome features, seeing the familiar disappointment in his eyes. Typical. I make no one happy. “Not even you,” I add in the softest whisper.
He stares at me, his gaze unwavering. There’s no disappointment in his eyes; he doesn’t appear upset any longer. “Aren’t you tired of being alone? On your own? You against the world, always fighting, always struggling?”
I want to say no. It’s easier to pretend I’m tough and I don’t need anyone, definitely not a man trying to tell me what to do. But Max isn’t like that, not really. He treats me like an equal. That he enjoys taking command in the bedroom doesn’t bother me, not really.
I almost … prefer it.
“Yes,” I finally whisper, my throat raw with emotio
n. “It’s … hard, being alone.”
“I know.” He reaches out, drifts his fingers across my cheek. “I agree.”
Should I say something more? Tell him we don’t have to be alone as long as we have each other?
No, that’s too much. Too soon. He’ll freak. Or worse, make fun of me. Make a joke of it.
He would never do that and you know it.
“Let’s take a step back and calm down.” Max traces my jaw with his fingers, his thumb smoothing over my chin. “After all, we’ve got all night.”
There’s a finality to his statement that sends panic racing through my veins. All night isn’t enough. It would never be enough. But I can’t admit that.
So I don’t.
chapter eighteen
Max
I TOOK HER TO DINNER, to torture myself and to give us some much needed distance. My irrational anger at her getting herself off by humping my dick while I had my swim trunks on still simmered low in my gut, which was ridiculous. But I didn’t like how she defied me, how she did what she wanted despite my telling her not to.
It was the first time she’d done that since we’d started playing this sick game and it made me mad. Made me feel out of control. I didn’t like it.
At all.
I really wanted to walk out on her and never look back, but I couldn’t. Not only because I flat-out can’t leave her, but I have a job to do and by God, I’m going to finish it. Plus, if I left her and gave back Pilar her fucking money, that bitch would send some other dick after Lily instead and God knows what would happen. So I’m protecting her.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, jackass.
The idea of not having this last moment with her hurts more than I care to admit. It was Lily’s idea to suggest a hands-off approach for tonight and like a dumbass, I agreed.
“No sex,” she’d said, her expression stony, her gaze steady. Though I saw the slight flicker in her eyes. She was probably afraid I’d tell her no and leave her. Like I could. “We only seem to piss each other off.”
Easy for her to say—she already got her orgasm for the day.
“Fine,” I said, rubbing a hand over my face, ready to agree to anything so I could see her again. I almost blew it, getting so mad at her. But this is what happens when you get yourself physically and emotionally involved with someone you have no business being with.
Heavy emphasis on the word business.
We went to a restaurant in the resort, a place that was dark and expensive and served up intoxicating, exotically named drinks. Lily had three and I had two and she was a little giggly, a lot beautiful, helping me forget my anger, the tension that radiated through me over what I was about to do.
Steal from her. Betray her.
I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I didn’t like or that I didn’t want to do, but I always did them honestly. With integrity, though I know of others who would disagree with me, especially from my military past. Going off the mental deep end still embarrasses me when I think about it, but what’s done is done. My family accepted me back into the fold, even though my brother Sam thought I was a complete dumbass at first. He served his time in the military, left after four years, and is now a cop, just like our dad. He did everything right.
I, on the other hand, did everything wrong. Guess Lily and I have more in common than I first thought.
But never have I done something so dishonest, so cruel. So fucking risky, both to me and to Lily. I can’t study my subject with an objective eye. I’ve had her every which way I could sexually. I know the taste of her lips, the taste of her pussy, the way it feels when it clamps tight around my cock before she comes. I’m in way too fucking deep.
I like her. A lot. If I’d met her under any other circumstance, I’d pursue her relentlessly until I made her mine. Pretty much like I’m doing right now. The difference?
There’s no choice. I have to walk away. And I don’t want to.
The minute I pay the dinner bill I’m on my feet, offering my hand to Lily. Our conversation when we first arrived at the restaurant had been stilted. Awkward. She knew I was mad—though I was more angry at myself than at her—and it pissed her off, too, so we had a sort of standoff across the table from each other.
I gave in first. I needed an opportunity to get back to her bungalow. To spend time with her alone. Once our food came—and we were both on our second drink—the conversation flowed, the flirtation grew, and I knew I had her.
She is too damn easy. I feel like a complete asshole for thinking like that.
I passed on a third drink because I wanted to keep my wits about me, and too much alcohol would result in me falling into a deep sleep later. Something I can’t do considering I need to stay awake past Lily so I can grab that fucking laptop.
“Thank you for dinner,” she says after we leave the restaurant, reaching out to touch my arm as we walk side by side. Her fingers burn my skin and I almost pull away from her, but instead I stop, my fingers curling around her wrist so I can pull her in closer. She goes willingly, her eyes wide, her lips parting.
Looking sexy as hell.
Doesn’t help that her hair is up, revealing her edible neck, and she’s wearing a strapless bright green dress that makes her skin appear extra golden. Large, thin gold hoops dangle from her ears and a delicate long gold chain hangs from her neck to rest between her breasts.
She’s not just sexy, she’s also beautiful. Sweet. I want more of her. So much more … but I can’t have it.
“I should’ve never agreed to the conditions you put on tonight,” I mutter, running my gaze over her body, wishing it were my hands trailing all over her.
She laughs, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks the faintest pink. I made the secret dirty girl blush again? Go figure. “Are you the type who wants what you can’t have?”
“Not usually.” My fingers tighten around her wrist. With her, yes, a thousand times yes. “I tend to just go for it.”
Lily presses her lips together, and I feel her heart rate speed up since my fingers are pressing directly against her pulse. “Like you did with me before?”
“Exactly.” She’s so close, I can nuzzle her hair, breathe in her sweet scent. Damn, the woman smells good. Fragrant and fresh, rich and decadent, a contradicting combination I want more of.
Just one more taste. One more night.
“I never go against a lady’s wishes, though,” I tell her, stepping away. I see the disappointment cross her face and it matches the disappointment that spreads through me. I mean what I say but I’m hoping … I’m fucking praying she’ll give in and let me have her. At least one more time. “I may be an asshole, but I’m not that much of one.”
“Sometimes …” She moistens her lips, the luscious, shiny curve of her bottom lip sending a bolt of lust straight to my dick. “The lady says things too rashly. She has a bad habit of not thinking things through.”
Hope sparks within me. Stupid, idiotic hope. I squash it down. I shouldn’t do this. Shouldn’t want this. But I do. God, I do. “Does she, now?”
“Oh yes. All the time. Usually it ends up with her doing something she regrets. She tends to make a lot of mistakes,” Lily admits softly.
I don’t know what she’s talking about. Past regrets? Possibly. I understand that. “Does she think what happened between us is a mistake?”
Slowly she shakes her head, taking a step toward me. Her body brushes against mine and it’s like my entire being has been lit on fire. “Maybe. I don’t know. But I don’t care. Some things are just too hard to fight.”
I give in to my urges and touch her. Cup her cheek, tilt her head back, and I know by the way she parts her lips that she’s ready, eager for me to kiss her. I love how responsive she is to me. It makes me feel like I can conquer the whole damn world. “I won’t do a thing until you say the word.”
Her delicate brows draw down as she stares up at me. “What word is that?”
Leaning in so close my mouth hovers above hers,
I whisper, “Yes.”
Her breath wafts across my lips, minty and sweet from the chocolate mint I saw her pop in her mouth as we exited the restaurant. She tilts her head back the slightest bit, aligning our mouths perfectly, and murmurs, “Take me to your room, Max.”
I settle my lips on hers, not caring that we’re surrounded by people as they exit and enter the restaurant. The Hawaiian music that plays fades to the background, as does all the chatter. All I can see and hear and taste is Lily, the perfect offering to placate my raging need. She tastes like heaven, her mouth opening eagerly to mine, our tongues sliding.
She draws away from me before the kiss gets too out of control and keeps her hold on my wrist, my hand still at her cheek. “So is that a yes?” I ask.
Nodding, she kisses the side of my jaw. “Yes.”
UNFORTUNATELY I COULDN’T CONVINCE her to go to her bungalow. She was adamant about seeing my room, so here we are, frustration rippling through me as I escort her down the hall toward my door. My mind is scrambling, trying to come up with a plan B, but then she looks at me, the smile on her face soft, her eyes glowing, and fuck, all plans to take what belongs to her are obliterated from my brain.
All I can think about, all I can focus on, is Lily.
Maybe I don’t need to grab that laptop after all. I can destroy whatever evidence is on the damn thing and somehow prove it to Pilar. Hell, I can make a copy of everything on it and give it to her. Though that would probably not ease her mind. I don’t think anything will pacify her. She’s as high strung as they come.
We’re silent as Lily enters my hotel room, her gaze scanning the interior, as if she’s looking for clues. Hints of what makes me tick. I’m sure she’s disappointed by the cleanliness of the room, the fact that my suitcase sits on the folding stand they provide for it, zipped closed and packed, ready for my early morning departure that she has no clue exists.
Whereas her villa was always a bit of a mess every time I was there, with clothes everywhere, jewelry scattered on the dresser, shoes kicked off by the front door, and an array of beauty products spread all over the counter in the bathroom.