Ian looked at me strangely. “You shouldn’t care.”
I sipped on my drink. “I think you know that he’s well and truly taken care of that. You were the one who took me, Ian. Remember?”
He winced, but didn’t say anything in return. Instead, he looked conflicted again. It was almost as if something was on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t want to let it out.
“I didn’t realise who you were until late last night.”
I shrugged. “Does that make a difference?”
Ian sighed. “I suppose not, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I doubt your father would be happy about this if he were alive.”
I laughed sarcastically. “Yeah, my precious daddy. The one who promised me to your boss in the first place. I’m sure he’d be so mad right now.”
Ian looked pained. I’d seen that look before. It was the look of sympathy. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t need your sympathy. I don’t need anybody’s sympathy.”
He shook his head. “I’m not looking at you like that. I feel disappointed for you. Angry for you. You shouldn’t have been born into a family like that.”
I laughed again. “I guess I got the luck of the draw the day I was picked for the Caudwell’s, ha? It was considered an honour to be a part of our family. Strange how people never see what lies beneath the surface.”
Ian shook his head and I watched him for a moment as I ate. “How about your parents, Ian? Did you come from a loveless family?”
Ian leaned on the bed a little like he was settling in. “No, I can’t say that. I think I had a pretty normal upbringing really. I can’t complain.”
“Do you mind me asking how old you are?” He looked pretty young, but I was guessing.
“I’m twenty-seven.”
I took my last bite of the pasta and set the plate down on the tray. “I’m assuming you were Special Forces?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I did a tour in Iraq. Saw some heavy shit. I think you’ll find most of the guys here have been in the Forces at some point.”
I sighed. “Yeah, all but one.”
“You met him?”
I nodded. “He tried to bomb me and my family.”
Ian’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. I think I read something about that in the newspaper. You had to go into hiding because of a rogue soldier.”
I pulled myself further up on the bed and shrugged. “It’s in the past now, Ian. I just want to leave it there.”
Ian’s face turned a little pale. “Of course it is. I don’t blame you.”
Just as he said this, Rhianna’s “Disturbia” came on the radio. I looked at Ian and he looked at me, then we both burst out laughing. I was definitely going crazy.
Once we calmed down, Ian glanced at me with a serious expression. “Are you going to be okay?”
I smiled. “No, but I’m going to get by. I’m used to getting by. I have all my life.”
Ian got up and picked up my tray. “No one should settle for that.”
I leaned my head back on the headboard and stared at the ceiling again. “What other choice do I have?”
Ian didn’t answer and I didn’t expect him to. Instead, he picked up everything and walked out the door. I didn’t hear him lock it, but I think he knew I wasn’t going anywhere. I was conditioned not to.
Hours seemed to fly by and the numbness came with it. When I got bored again, sleep seemed to find me quickly.
I was alone in the darkness, my mind in a pit of black. I liked it there. I didn’t have to think or feel anymore. Sleep was my friend. Sleep gave me a reprieve.
I wasn’t sure what time it was, but I felt a dip in my bed, then a hand trailing down my arm. He kissed my shoulder and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. “Livy, I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
He turned me over so I was facing him. My smile grew wide and my belly danced at the sight of him hovering over me. There was never anything to forgive. He made sure of that.
“I can’t stay mad at you for long. Knowing you were up here on your own tore me apart. I snapped. You’re like a drug to me, Livy. A drug I can’t get enough of.”
He leaned down, kissing me lightly on the lips. The fires raged war inside me again, wanting to let go.
Zac felt through the fabric of my negligee and found that my nipples were rock hard. He pinched one, making me arch my back for more. I needed more.
“Do you want me to make love to you, Livy? Do you want me to make you scream?”
I nodded. Of course I did. He was pressing that button again and he knew it.
Zac hovered over me, trailing light kisses along my neck. He pulled up my negligee and cupped his hand over my pussy. “Mine,” he growled, starting a slow dance on my clit. “Tell me you love me, Livy, and I’ll give you what you want.”
I was panting now, already close. I obviously still had some of this drug running through my veins and it was nowhere near ready to let me rest.
He stopped rubbing my clit, and I groaned in displeasure. He started pulling the strings on my negligee, exposing my breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth, stroking the other with his fingers. I moaned again, wishing it was my clit. I had to have him inside me again.
“Livy, I need to hear you say the words. I want to make sweet love to my woman, but I can’t if you don’t say the words. Give me the words I want to hear.”
I gripped my eyes shut, an all-out war going on in my head. Of course, my body would win. It would always win when Zac was around.
“I love you,” I said breathlessly, but couldn’t help the tear that rolled down my cheek. I felt numb, so why was I crying? I shouldn’t have tears because I felt nothing, except the overwhelming urge to have Zac inside me.
And just like that, he kissed me. And just like that, I was rewarded for being such a good girl.
I was a good girl. I had always been a good girl.
Zac made sure of it.
Chapter 21
A few days later, I woke to Zac taking me from behind. I was starting to think he had also taken that drug as he seemed more insatiable than me. I was glad he was behind me as I felt more numb than I did the previous days. Of course I came. I came like the good girl I was, but the emotional attachment wasn’t there. I was becoming a Stepford wife, bending to his will. Letting him do whatever the hell he wanted to me.
And I loved it because he made me love it. He made me want it over and over again.
Once my second orgasm shot through me, Zac reared his back, his own release coming. After panting a few times, he pulled out of me and cradled me in his arms.
Rubbing my belly, he sighed. “I can’t wait to see your belly swollen.”
My eyes went wide and I turned to look at the clock on the bedside table. It was a little after ten, so I was okay.
“Am I keeping you from something?” I turned my head to look at him and he pointed to the clock. “You were looking at the time. Are you planning on being somewhere?”
I shook my head. “No. I was just wondering what time it was.” I sighed. “Zac, I need to get out of this bed. I’m going crazy. Can’t I go to your gym, or go swimming again? Something just to get away from these four walls. I’m sorry I disobeyed you the other day, but I’m asking today. Please.”
Zac tightened his hold on me as he laughed. “I can’t say no to you. Okay. You can go for a swim, but use the indoor pool, not the outdoor. You’ll freeze to death. If not, you can use the gym. Just let me know and I’ll let the guys know you’re going in there so they’ll leave you alone. Can’t have them leering at you whilst you’re working out.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, of course not.”
He pulled up and turned me over. “There’s something I have to do today, but when I get back, let’s talk about going away somewhere for a bit. A holiday to someplace warm. What do you think?”
I smiled sweetly. “It sounds lovely.”
He kissed my nose and threw the covers off, walking into the bathroom. “Have a think on where an
d let me know once I get home.”
I heard him turn on the shower and I lay under the covers, waiting for him to finish. Once he was dry, he walked out completely naked and, of course, I had to admire him. I was finely tuned to that, as well.
I watched him dress, then he kissed me on the forehead. “You be a good girl today. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I pouted and he laughed. “You’re too much for me, Livy. I’ll tell you what. You have free reign of the house today. Maybe I can get a couple of men to take you shopping. How about that?”
My eyes lit up. I didn’t care for shopping, but the going out part? Yes, I wanted that. “Yes, please.”
He laughed again. “I can never say no to that face. Go nuts, spend what you want. Just make sure you get a few lingerie items. I think you know what I like.”
I nodded and watched as he walked out of the door. I was wondering whether I could fake an illness today whilst out. It would be the perfect opportunity. Today was my last pill. Once I finished, I had none left. I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain why, after so much sex, I was suddenly bleeding. According to Ian, I was supposed to be pregnant by now.
He had been helping me out. He knew what I was doing and he turned a blind eye to it. Today, I had no choice but to tell him I had no pills left. I needed his help, but I didn’t know whether he would go to the trouble or not. I had to find out either way, and I had to make sure he came with me when I went shopping.
Getting up, I went to the bathroom to get washed and changed. I wanted to be casual today, but the outfits Zac had for me were anything but. I was like his brand new Barbie doll, ready to dress up whenever he wanted. My subconscious knew this was sick, but I couldn’t help being drawn to him. I was definitely a puppet and Zac had a tight hold on the strings. In the end, I settled for a navy pencil skirt, cream blouse, and high heels. Zac had a fetish for them. I had to keep them on for a handful of occasions when he fucked me.
Yeah... This was my life.
Like clockwork every morning, I walked down the stairs and asked Ian if he could fetch me my bag. He did every time and left me so I could take the pill in privacy. I flushed the toilet like I did every time and came out to find Ian waiting for me.
I handed the bag back. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he smiled. “I gather the Boss wants us to take you shopping?”
I nodded with a smile. “Yes. Are you coming?” Please say you’re coming.
“If you want me to, I can.”
I moved forward a little and whispered, “I need your help.”
Ian closed his eyes and bit his lip. He looked conflicted again. “What is it you need?”
I discreetly pointed to the bag. “That thing I need in my bag every morning… Well, I don’t have any left.”
I think he got my meaning as his eyes widened a little. “Shit,” he huffed and started pacing.
“Can I just fake illness today? Pretend I’m unwell so you can take me to the doctor? No one will have to know I’m getting what I need.”
He stopped pacing for a moment and looked at me. “That might work, but someone will have to call and tell him. When it comes to you, he wants to know everything. If you even so much as pee an extra time during the day, he wants to know about it. He’s, like, fucking obsessed.”
It shouldn’t have surprised me but, for some reason, it didn’t stop the shock. I just always assumed he wanted control…of everything and everyone.
“He’s staked his claim on me ever since I was a young girl. I suppose it just comes natural to him now.”
Was I actually defending him?
Ian closed his eyes again. “Fuck.” He stared ahead for a moment before looking back at me. “I have to hide this bag. Give me a few minutes. I need to think.”
I nodded, realising I definitely had an ally in Ian. He disappeared, and I made my way to the kitchen for something to eat. This was my routine now. I had to have one to keep my master happy. He was always making sure I was fed, pampered, and kept in good shape. When I walked into the kitchen, it should hardly surprise me that one of the cooks placed a bottle of Folic Acid on the counter, along with a glass of water.
“Boss wants you to start taking these. It’ll be good for you.”
I knew exactly what they were good for, but dutifully opened the bottle and took the tablet. The whole time, the cook was watching me. He probably had orders to make sure I took it.
It made me realise just how serious he was about me having his baby. Why it was so important, I had no idea. Maybe it was just him asserting control over me again. He loved having the control over me. In fact, his best orgasm seemed to stem from when I dared to say no and he eventually bent me to his will. In the end, I could never say no to Zac. I was the good girl. Good girls did as they were told.
“What would you like to eat?” The cook stood there, staring. No emotion. No nothing.
“Can I have an omelette, please?”
He nodded curtly and walked back into the cooking area. I just sat there as I was supposed to, being watched by a couple of overgrown apes.
“Good morning,” Ian chimed, walking towards me. He smiled brightly and nodded at the man standing close to where I sat. He moved and Ian sat next to me.
As soon as the man was out of earshot, Ian’s smile faded and he turned to me. “When we’re out today, have a look around for a while, then say you want take a look in Shaney’s. It’s a lingerie shop in the high street we’re taking you. Right next door to that is a private clinic. If I can convince Zac to take you there, it would be better for you. Otherwise, he’ll want us to take you to Dr. Barry. You won’t be able to ask him for what you need.”
I nodded. “Thank you. I really appreciate all the trouble. You don’t have to do it for me, so I’m truly grateful.”
Ian shifted a little. “Well, despite working for him, I don’t necessarily agree to everything he’s doing to you.”
I smiled, wondering if I could tell him something. I struggled with trust issues. I could never trust anyone completely. In the end, they would always end up letting you down, but Ian was tempting me to tell him. I suppose I had to have a little faith.
I scooted close to him. “Ian.” I nudged at his shirt to get his attention. He looked at me. “I have a boat named ‘The Little Princess’ docked at Southampton pier.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “It was a present from my father for when I turned sixteen. I didn’t know anything about it until his lawyer told me that he had left it to me. I think my dad wanted me to leave home the minute I turned sixteen and sail the high seas.” Ian frowned at me, and I just shook my head. “Anyway, I told no one about it, vowing only use it in an emergency. The guy to contact is James. He lives in the dockyard shop at the harbour.”
Ian looked confused. “Why are you telling me this?”
I sighed. “If the time ever comes where I can escape, that is where I’m heading. I want you to know this so you can throw Zac off my trail. Do you think you could do that? I’m trusting you with this, Ian. I haven’t told anyone else but you.”
Ian stared at me a moment, searching my face. In the end, he nodded. “I can do that.”
When the cook came out with the omelette, all conversation about doctors and escaping came to a halt. It was dangerous talking to Ian so openly, but I needed to know I had someone. When Zac wasn’t with me, my mind seemed to clear a little. I still longed for him, anxiously awaiting his return every day, but it was nowhere near as powerful as it was when he was physically in the room with me.
I ate everything like I was supposed to, a group of men gathering in the hall. “You’d think I was the president’s daughter the way they’re carrying on.” I rolled my eyes in Ian’s direction and he offered me a tight smile.
“It’s a necessary precaution. Power always equals danger, and the Boss has plenty of it.”
I watched as a man with a gun spoke through the radio. Pretty soon, two Range Rovers with tinted windows pulled up outside the front
of the house. I was ushered forward as Ian guided me towards the car. Everything was done with professionalism. I almost did feel like the president’s daughter.
I watched out the window and saw the gates opening. Again, there were men with guns standing by the fence. This place was beginning to feel like Fort Knox. How I could even consider escaping was beyond me, but if I ever did get my chance, I would.
We drove for about half-hour until we reached a car park off the main high street. Once we were parked, I was told to stay inside until everyone was at their post. It was ridiculous. Zac should want to maintain anonymity. We looked as inconspicuous as a T-Rex walking through the middle of London.
“Are you ready?” Ian tugged at my blouse and I nodded. Despite thinking this was crazy, I would take this over the four walls of my bedroom any day.
“Where to first?” he asked once we got out of the car.
I had to think for a moment. I didn’t normally like shopping, but I knew summer was well on its way, so a couple pairs of comfy sandals and some tank tops would suit me well.
“How about Drummonds? They sell all sorts of stuff in there.”
Ian didn’t seem too impressed. “I don’t think the Boss will take too kindly to you shopping in there.”
I frowned. “What’s wrong with it?”
He looked at me with an air of exasperation. “Have you not seen your wardrobe?”
I sighed. “Bloody hell. You know, there are people who would kill for a simple pair of jeans, or a coat to keep them warm in winter. That’s all they ask. Why do I have to wear clothes that could possibly pay for hundreds of pairs of those jeans or coats that could go towards people who need them?”
Ian stared at me with shock in his eyes. “Wow, you really weren’t working at the soup kitchen just as a cover.”
I shook my head. “No. I know that was the original intention, but I genuinely wanted to help people. I’m not callous, Ian.”
He must have seen the sincerity in my eyes because he gave me the most heart-warming smile, offering me his arm. “Come on. Let’s take you to Drummonds.”
I nearly jumped up and down, clapping.