“Disappeared?” Jim sounded irritated. “What do you mean by ‘disappeared’?”
“I mean that she went up to her room to read and go to bed around eight o’clock tonight, and just now we checked and she hadn’t even slept in her bed.”
“Well, that goin’ to bed at eight business shoulda been your first clue. How old is she? Sixteen?”
“Seventeen.”
He breathed out a laugh, and Jonathan knew he wasn’t taking this seriously. “Jonathan, I know you ain’t been doin’ this parenting thing that long, but when a seventeen-year-old goes to bed at eight o’clock, you can bet they got somethin’ up their sleeve. She ain’t disappeared. She’s just gone out. You mark my word. She’ll come home.”
Appalled at the man’s dismissive attitude, Jonathan gritted his teeth. “Do I have to call Joe at home, Jim? Because my best friend is missing right now and no one can find him. Now my daughter vanishes. There’s a pattern here, man. Sadie would not just sneak out!”
“Hey, you don’t have to get all huffy now. First time my nephew snuck out my brother felt the same way, Jonathan, but I’m telling you, she’s probably at that party down at the McRae Condominiums. I been gettin’ complaint calls from neighbors all night. Went over there myself to check things out, and the place was crawlin’ with teenagers. I tried to break it up and get them to turn down the music, but you know how that goes.”
Jonathan clutched the phone to his ear. “Sadie wouldn’t go there.”
“Think again, brother. You’ll see. Just give it a little time, and she’ll get herself home.”
“And what if she doesn’t?” he yelled again. “What if she’s been kidnapped, too?”
“Any sign of breaking and entering in your house, Jonathan?”
“Well, I haven’t looked, really.”
“Broke windows? Locks?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Any sign of a struggle?” Jim asked.
Jonathan wanted to ram his fist through the phone. Then they’d have signs of a struggle, all right. “Look, if you’re not going to do anything then I’m going down to that party. If she’s there, I’ll find her!”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. You let me know, you hear?”
Jonathan threw the phone down.
CHAPTER 33
That alarm kept clanging in Sadie’s head as Trevor’s kiss grew deeper. His hands roamed, and she tried to get hold of them and stop them. But he slipped them free and groped some more.
Breaking free of the kiss, she rolled away from him and got up on her knees. “I have to go.”
Trevor looked stricken. “Why? Nobody even knows you’re gone. It’s not like you have a curfew.”
“I just have to go.” She wobbled to her feet and straightened her blouse.
“Aw, man, I didn’t think you were some prude who’d tease me and then turn to ice.”
She looked down at him. “Ice? Just because I won’t do what you want? And I didn’t tease you.”
“Right.” He got up and dusted the sand off of himself. “Just forget it.”
“I will.” On the edge of tears, she started walking away from him. He didn’t follow.
The ocean whispered against the shore, reminding her that she was small, insignificant, against the world that seemed to converge against her. She remembered another time that she had been on the beach at night, utterly alone. She had been injured and had fled from home. With no place to stay and not a soul here who knew her name, she had slept on this very beach.
That old loneliness welled up inside her again, and she started to cry as she headed home. She should never have come out tonight. She shouldn’t have gone to the party. She shouldn’t have gotten drunk.
What had she been about to do?
The question resounded through her mind, blustering up on a wind of paranoia. She had damaged her relationship with Morgan, with Jonathan, with God.
She heard Crystal’s voice, cold and condemning, as she’d accused Trevor of wanting only one thing from Sadie. And there she’d been, almost willing to give it to him.
She managed to make her way to the part of the beach across from Hanover House, stumbled across the street, and got up to the porch. Realizing that her gait was still unsteady, she took a slow quiet step up, then tripped over the last step and fell face-down on the porch. Putting her finger to her mouth and shushing herself, she got up and fumbled with the front door lock, got it to open, then stepped inside.
Jonathan stood just inside the door, gaping down at her. “Sadie!”
The light came on, shining overhead like a beacon glaring in her eyes. “I . . . I was just out for a walk.”
“At one-thirty in the morning?” Jonathan’s voice wobbled with anger. “Sadie, where have you been? I called the police, I was so worried about you. I was just about to come out looking for you.”
She backed against the wall to steady herself, and Jonathan took her shoulders and stared into her face. “Sadie, you’ve been drinking.”
“No. I wou’nt do that.” She wished her words would come out the way she intended them to.
His face was blurry. “I smell it, Sadie. Were you out with that boy?”
Sadie stiffened and tried to pull herself together. She couldn’t fade now. She had to convince Jonathan she’d done nothing wrong. “What boy?”
“Trevor Beal. Sadie, were you with him?”
She searched her mind for an answer that would satisfy him, but her brain wasn’t operating the way she needed. “I was with a lot of people.” There, that ought to do it. She started to the stairs.
“I have to go to bed now.” Grabbing the banister, she started up.
“Sadie, don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you.” She’d never heard his voice that angry before, so she turned back around and sat down on the step. “I asked you where you’d been.”
“On the beach,” she said. “Thasall, Jonathan. I think I’m gonna be sick. Can we talk about this in the morning?”
Jonathan sighed, and she hoped that meant that he was going to back off and give her a break. He came up the stairs, took her arm, and helped her the rest of the way up. When they reached the second floor, Sadie broke free of him and stumbled into the bathroom, locked it behind her, then bent over the toilet and wretched. Still nauseated, she sat on the floor and waited for it to pass.
CHAPTER 34
By the time they got to the hospital, Karen’s contractions were three minutes apart. There was no question about it. The baby was going to come tonight.
As the nurses prepped Karen and hooked her up to the IV and monitors, Morgan took a moment to find a pay phone in the hall. She called home, and Jonathan answered on the second ring.
“Jonathan, have you found her yet?”
“She’s home,” he said.
Morgan almost collapsed in relief. “Thank goodness. Where was she?”
A moment of silence followed. “She snuck out, Morgan. She was with Trevor Beal.”
Morgan’s heart plunged. For a moment, she couldn’t speak. “Are you sure, Jonathan?”
“Oh, yeah. I heard it from the horse’s mouth. Slurred, though it was.”
Morgan froze. Was there really more? Not just the sneaking out? “What do you mean ‘slurred’?”
“She’d been drinking, Morgan,” he said. “She came home drunk.”
Morgan backed against the wall and put her hand over her face as she clutched the phone to her ear. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. She could hardly walk, and she reeked of it.”
“She knows what chemical abuse and alcohol have done to her family. Why would she do such a thing?”
“We’ll have to wait until morning to ask her,” he said. “She’s not in any shape to discuss it right now.”
One of the nurses came out of Karen’s room, just up the hall. She had to get in there. “Honey, are you all right?” Morgan asked.
“I just feel like the recipient of a one-two punch right i
n the gut. But yeah, I’m fine. You be fine too, okay?”
She sighed. “I’ve got to go. Karen needs me.”
She hung up the phone and pressed her forehead against it. Not Sadie. She hadn’t rebelled like that. There had to be an explanation. Finally, she went back to Karen’s room. The woman lay on her side, her eyes closed as she suffered through another of her contractions. A nurse stood by her, monitoring the strength of it.
“How’s she doing?” Morgan asked.
The nurse glanced back at her. “She’s already dilated six centimeters, so she’s pretty far along. I don’t think this is going to take very long. It’s too late for an epidural, I’m afraid.”
She watched as the numbers on the monitor went down, and Karen began to relax out of her coil. Morgan stepped up to her side and pushed her hair back from her face. “You’re gonna be okay, Karen. It’s gonna be all right.”
Karen looked as if she braced herself for the pain about to come again.
Morgan made herself comfortable on the chair beside Karen’s bed, and trying to keep her mind off of Sadie, prepared for a long night.
Not much later, the nurses declared that Karen had dilated enough to go into the delivery room, and the doctor was called.
“Don’t leave me,” Karen said, squeezing her hand. “I’m scared.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of.” Morgan stroked Karen’s damp forehead. “You’re participating in a miracle. Soon you’ll meet your child.”
“Come with me, Morgan. Please, I need somebody with me.”
A sense of excitement jolted up inside her at the idea. She would love to see a little baby coming into the world.
“Is it all right?” she asked the nurses who were moving her to a gurney.
“Sure,” she said. “You can be her coach.”
“I don’t know how to coach. I haven’t had classes or anything.”
“Honey, you just hold her hand and remind her to breathe.”
They went into the antiseptic room, bright with fluorescent lights and cold as winter. Morgan wished they could warm it up and lower the lights for the child.
The doctor got there within minutes. After one quick examination, he declared that it was time for Karen to push.
Karen squeezed her eyes shut and clamped her hand on Morgan’s, groaning with the effort.
Morgan hung on, wishing there was something more that she could do. She wondered how it would be when she was in Karen’s place. Would Jonathan know what to do? Would he want to videotape? Capture the first breath of their child?
She yearned to have the opportunity to find out.
“The baby’s crowning,” the doctor said as Karen came out of the contraction. “Just a few more minutes.”
Karen fell back on her pillow, trying to catch her breath.
“A couple more pushes and we’ll be home free.”
They adjusted the mirror over the delivery table so that Karen and Morgan could see.
Then the contraction came, and Karen rose up, gritting her teeth and bearing down. Morgan watched the mirror.
The head emerged, covered with wet, black curly hair. “It’s coming!” she cried. “Come on, Karen. Keep pushing.”
She watched its little shoulders emerge, then its tiny purple body.
Karen gave a final groan as the baby came fully into the world. Then she fell back and began to weep as she caught her first glimpse. “My baby!”
The doctor turned it over, and Morgan saw that it was a boy, and his face was the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen. She burst into tears.
“Oh, Karen, it’s a boy. He’s so beautiful.”
As the doctor suctioned his mouth, the baby began to scream.
Morgan wept as they wiped him off, wrapped him up, and handed him to Karen. The woman took him like a precious gift and brought him close. Morgan touched his tiny little foot as his mother introduced herself.
“Hey, there, Emory,” she said in a soft, weepy voice. “Oh, you’re a precious thing. Look at you.”
Emory. Morgan hadn’t thought before to ask Karen if she had a name. She wiped her eyes and breathed in a sob. “He looks like an Emory.”
Karen smiled up at her. “Emory, I want you to meet your aunt Morgan.” She handed the baby to her.
Carefully, Morgan gathered him into her arms and looked down into eyes that seemed to understand everything he saw. Every maternal hormone she possessed fired within her. She started to laugh through her tears.
What a miracle. What a joy. What a privilege to have witnessed this.
Lord, let it be me sometime soon.
When they had taken away the baby and put Karen back in her room, Morgan’s exhaustion caught up with her.
“You go home now, Morgan,” Karen said. “It’s Sunday and you have church and all. You need to get some rest. I’ll be fine here.”
Morgan didn’t want to leave. What if they brought the baby in, and she had another chance to hold him?
Then she realized that it wasn’t her child. Karen needed time alone with her baby. “Are you sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure,” she said. “I’ll probably sleep until they bring him to me, and then I’ve requested that they let me keep him in here with me all day.”
“Oh.” The word came out softly, and she thought that was what she would have done, too. She would have wanted the baby close, so she could be the one meeting all his needs. “Are you sure you’re up to that?”
“If I’m not, I can change my mind, but I want my baby with me. They said it was my call.”
Morgan didn’t blame her. She got up and found her purse. Every bone in her body seemed to weigh twice its usual weight. The night they’d been here for the false alarm had exhausted her enough, and she’d never quite caught up. Now she felt too weary to even walk to the car.
But it had been well worth it. She kissed Karen on the forehead. “You rest now, and I’ll come back this afternoon. Call if you need anything.”
As she drove home, she realized that motherhood was one of the greatest blessings of all. She hoped Karen realized it.
Why hadn’t God chosen to bless her that way?
As quickly as she’d asked the question, she kicked herself. He had blessed her, with Caleb and Sadie. But she hadn’t been a very good steward of that blessing, if Sadie had come home drunk this morning. She didn’t blame God for not trusting her with a baby of her own.
She tried to think like a good mother. There were going to have to be consequences. Sadie needed to understand exactly what she’d done. But how? What would good parents do to teach a teenager to stay on the right path?
When she reached Hanover House, she found Jonathan already up with Caleb, feeding him in the kitchen. Jonathan had already had his shower, and wore his pressed black “preacher” trousers with a white T-shirt.
“What did she have?” he asked with a smile.
“It was a boy,” she said. “A beautiful boy. Eight pounds. In perfect health.” She dropped her purse on the table and smiled at her husband. “Oh, Jonathan, you should have seen it. The birth was such a miracle, and that beautiful little body slid out, and those arms and legs were kicking and moving, and he let out this scream that told us he was healthy and whole . . .”
He took her hand and pulled her down next to him. “I’m glad you got to see it.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and her throat seemed to close up.
“How’s Karen?” he asked.
“Exhausted.”
“Like you?”
“I think she’s a little tireder than I am.” She reached for Caleb. “Come here, you.” He laughed and reached back, and she pulled him out of the high chair, wiped his face, and kissed his plump cheek. “You hear anything from Sadie this morning?”
“Nope. I’m sure she’s zonked out. I was trying to decide whether to wake her up for church.”
“Oh, yes,” Morgan said. “She’s definitely getting up for church.”
“Well, she’s not
going to be in any mood to worship.”
“I don’t care,” Morgan said. “She needs to understand that we go to church in this family. We arrange our Saturday nights so that we’ll be in good shape to worship on Sunday morning. And if she chooses to do what she did last night, she’ll pay for it in the morning. But we’re not letting her off the hook for church.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’m with you. So you’re going too?”
She wilted with Caleb in her lap, and propped her chin on his little head. “I have to if I’m making her. I’ll sleep later.” She settled her tired eyes on him. “Jonathan, how did this happen?”
“I don’t know.” He slid his chair back and took Caleb’s breakfast bowl to the sink. “I’ve thought about it all night. Maybe it’s just the power of peer pressure. Or loneliness. Maybe we should have let her home-school. Maybe we need to try to understand her side before we start disciplining her for it.”
Morgan got up, Caleb on her hip, and poured some orange juice into his cup. “I don’t even know how to discipline her. She’s seventeen years old. She comes from a background of parties day and night, strangers in and out of her house, druggies, alcoholics. I don’t know why she’d want even a taste of that for herself. I’m so mad at her.”
“Me too,” Jonathan said, “but these are the perils of parenthood. It’s gonna be okay. We’ll survive it just like every other parent of a teenager.”
Morgan finished feeding Caleb as Jonathan got ready for church. Then she headed up the stairs and went to Sadie’s door.
The girl lay sound asleep in the middle of her bed, her covers all twisted around her, and one of her pillows on the floor. Her mouth hung open and saliva pooled on the sheet beneath her.
Morgan stood there looking at the girl who seemed so young and so innocent, and she remembered finding her hiding in the boathouse. She had seemed so small and vulnerable then, with her broken arm and her big, frightened eyes.
She’d been through so much since then. The strength of character she’d already shown Morgan and Jonathan couldn’t be overridden by one night of teenage rebellion. Still, her behavior couldn’t be overlooked.
She set Caleb down on the bed next to his sister, pushed her hair gently back from her face. “Wake up, Sadie. It’s time to get up for church.”