Before leaving Harry’s, she’d gone over some dos and don’ts and let them know that Nathan McBride tended to be an extremely private person who didn’t want attention or public recognition.
Just ahead, she saw the sign. Given the size of La Jolla Presbyterian Church, the modest sign seemed too small, and yet it somehow fit. She asked the men to wait at a planter in front of the chapel.
At the double doors, the music of a pipe organ filtered from within. She smiled when she recognized it.
“Adagio for Strings” by Samuel Barber.
Nathan marveled at how something so mathematical could sound so beautiful. He didn’t think the organ rendition lost any of the emotional aura of the piece.
He came here when his soul was troubled, like now . . .
The short calls and texts he’d exchanged with Holly seemed synthetic. Their relationship felt damaged, and he didn’t know if it could be repaired. Maybe it shouldn’t be. Maybe his destiny was solitude, and he’d been naïve to believe otherwise. Nathan blamed himself. He hadn’t intended to chase Holly away, but he couldn’t help thinking she’d be better off without him, without his baggage.
He was about to leave when he caught a familiar scent.
Light Blue by Dolce & Gabbana.
Holly.
He stood when she entered the pew.
Tight jeans. A white buttoned shirt. Turquoise and silver belt. She’s so incredibly beautiful . . .
Without a word, they embraced each other. Tightly. Neither wanted to let go, and didn’t.
He rested his chin on top of her head. “Are you here to give me bad news?”
She shook her head.
“I need you in my life. I used to think Harv’s friendship was enough, but it’s not.”
She wiped a tear.
“Can you ever forgive me?” he asked. “I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
“I was about to ask you the same thing. I wanted to tell you about my seat on your father’s committee, but I didn’t.”
“We’ll forgive each other and move on. That’s what friends do. You’re much more than that, but you’re my friend before anything else.”
“There’s so much I want to tell you; I don’t know where to begin.”
“Me too.”
They sat down and listened to the music reach its peak.
“In Yuma, I executed Alisio. I shot him right in front of my father and Grangeland.”
“Lansing told me.”
“I wanted to believe I’d moved on, that I didn’t do that sort of thing anymore.”
“It won’t make you feel any better, but Grangeland said you beat her to it. Alisio was as good as dead.”
“The guy made some depraved threats, and I believed he would’ve carried them out. I couldn’t let that happen.”
She nodded. “Do you regret killing him?”
“No. But that’s not what’s bothering me. I should’ve disliked it more than I did. So what does that make me?”
“Nathan,” she said quietly, “if you weren’t asking yourself that question, I wouldn’t be here. Don’t second-guess the gift you’ve been given.”
“Gift . . . ”
“I believe there are a chosen few who step up when called upon, and you’re one of them. You’re a good man with a deep conscience. I trust my instincts.”
“I guess I needed to hear that.”
“I wish you heard it more often.”
He looked at the cross beyond the chancel. “I felt something . . . at the quarry. It’s hard to describe. There was no burning bush or booming voice from the heavens, but when Tanner Mason fired his M4 at me, I felt protected. The white star from its flash suppressor was beautiful, not frightening.” He stopped. “Listen to me: I probably sound like I’m crazy.”
“Not at all. You faced death and survived. It’s happened before. You’re processing the experience and finding meaning as best you can. It’s a good thing, Nathan.”
“I wish knowing that made it easier.” For another long moment, he said nothing. “There’s something else bothering me, something I should’ve shared with you years ago.” Nathan felt his face tighten. “You sensed it . . . at Toby’s apartment.”
“You’re talking about Mara . . . Karen and Cindy too.”
He looked down.
“They were call girls, weren’t they.” It wasn’t a question.
“How could you possibly know that?”
“I just knew.”
“For two years I thought Mara could give me more than I paid for. I guess I knew the truth deep down, but I couldn’t face it.”
“Nathan, I can’t . . . won’t judge you. Confession time? In my sophomore year in college, I once traded my body for a couple grams of coke. The guy wasn’t a stranger, but I sold myself just the same.”
“We aren’t those people anymore.”
“No, we aren’t.”
“I was worried you came here to give me my walking papers.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily. I’ve become partial to Marines.”
“Heaven help you.”
They enjoyed a comfortable silence. “This is a beautiful sanctuary,” she said. “The stained glass is amazing.”
“Each one represents a ministry of Christ.” He looked back to her. “Did Harv tell you where to find me?”
“Actually, it was your mother’s suggestion. Your dad relayed it to me.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“How long have you been in here?”
“A few hours.”
Holly suddenly seemed a little uneasy.
“What?” he asked.
“Remember when we first met, and we were really good listeners?”
“Uh-oh.”
“There are two men outside who want to meet you.”
He started to object, but she stopped him by putting a hand on his chest.
“It wasn’t my doing; it was Lansing’s and your father’s. You haven’t been set up. I made it abundantly clear the decision’s yours. You don’t have to meet them.”
Nathan wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t like the idea. Hated it, really.
“It’s important to them. They want to thank you in person. I think I know you pretty well, and you’ll be okay with it.”
“They’re outside right now? Who are they?”
“Vincent Beaumont and Ramiro.”
“Holly, I don’t—”
“You need to trust me.”
That got through. He smiled and said, “Done.”
Nathan waved a thank-you to the organist and followed Holly down the center aisle. Outside the vestibule, he saw the men right away. He recognized Vincent Beaumont from the memorial service. Both of them stood when he approached.
“I’m Vince Beaumont.”
“Nathan McBride.” He shook hands. “I’m very sorry about your father.”
“Thank you.”
Nathan reached toward the other man. “Ramiro.”
The tall Hispanic man pumped his hand and offered a genuine smile, nothing plastic about it. “My real name’s Tomas Bustamante, but everyone calls me Tommy. It’s going to be a little weird adjusting to it again.”
“I can imagine.” Nathan liked that neither of them had reacted to seeing his scars. Maybe Holly had prepped them.
“It’s an honor to meet you,” Tommy said. “Thank you for protecting my identity. You and Mr. Fontana and SA Grangeland risked your lives for me, and I won’t ever forget it.”
“You have my gratitude as well,” Vince said. “I wish I could do more than just say thank you.”
“It’s more than enough,” said Nathan.
Vince smiled. “That’s what Director Lansing told me you’d say.”
“In case it matters,” Nat
han told them, “Mason said something to me just before he died. He claimed he would never have blown the cover of his operatives. It seemed genuine to me. He had nothing to gain by lying.”
“Even if he was telling the truth,” Ramiro said, “it doesn’t diminish the thanks we owe you. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t have eventually sold us out for money. I once believed he’d never betray his oath.”
“Well,” Vince said, “the important thing is that the November Directive’s secure and the other operatives are safe.”
“The president will be happy about that,” Holly said to Vince.
“He already is. He’s going to invite Nathan and Harv to the White House. Apparently your names have crossed his desk before. It’s happening sometime next month, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
“We’ll go, but only if Holly and SA Grangeland can come with us.”
“I can’t guarantee that, but I don’t think it will be a problem. As you know, the plan for implementing the ND came from your father’s committee as a result of a presidential edict, and the president’s been following its progress closely. For a lot of reasons, he’s extremely pleased the ND was saved.”
“Harv and I will go no matter what, but don’t tell anyone that. Even though we’re not aligned politically, I have no desire to see the president look bad. When he looks bad, the entire nation looks bad. Refusing an invitation would be very bad form, and it would also reflect poorly on my father. Besides, I’ve heard he can be quite charming. I’m curious to see for myself.”
“Guard your pocketbook,” Vince said with some humor, but Nathan saw pain on the man’s face. Although the ND was secure, his father was dead—the last casualty in Mason’s private war.
“I’ll leave my checkbook in the car.” He looked at Tommy. “Was being undercover as bad as I imagine? It has to be the worst kind of stress imaginable.”
“You get used to it.”
Nathan waited.
“Okay, not really. It’s pretty bad.”
No one said anything, and Nathan suspected Holly may have told them not to fill in the silent intervals. Either way, he appreciated the break to gather his thoughts.
Vince said, “I wish I could’ve been there to see our fathers fighting side by side. That must’ve been quite a sight.”
“It was. I have this incredible visual of my dad firing the Browning while George drove. Your father died a true warrior’s death, and it was far from meaningless. We might not have made it without him.”
Vince shook his head. “I still can’t believe he did it. He called me that afternoon and said he didn’t feel right about you and Harvey cleaning up his mess. But I never expected him to go to Yuma, much less with your father.”
Nathan thought about his last moments with Mason. “Why do you think he did it? Tanner Mason, I mean.”
“I’ve been asking myself the same thing,” said Vince. “We paid him an exorbitant salary, nearly twice the industry standard.”
“He hated Alisio,” Tommy said. “Maybe defeating the man wasn’t enough. He had to destroy him. Mason told me many times he didn’t want Alisio getting away with murdering Special Agent Hutcheson.”
“So in the process of destroying him,” said Nathan, “he became him.”
“My father and I talked about various risks,” Vince said, “but we never suspected it would be Mason. If anyone was going to go rogue, we always believed it would be one of our ND operatives.”
Tommy cleared his throat.
“Present company excluded,” Vince said.
“Despite Mason, have some of the November Directive’s goals been reached?” asked Nathan. “Alisio’s cartel is in disarray, at least, right?”
“Better than that,” Vince said. “It’s been dismantled. Two dozen arrests were made in four Mexican cities.”
“Has there been any fallout from Mr. Alisio’s unfortunate . . . demise?”
“Nothing we can’t handle. It seems you have some friends on Capitol Hill.”
Nathan glanced at Holly, who nodded.
“How’s Harvey doing?” Vince asked.
“He’s okay; Hahn’s bullet only nicked him. He just needed a few stitches.”
Harv hadn’t mentioned getting winged on the rim, and Nathan had chewed him a new one for bleeding on his helicopter. The flight surgeon at NAF El Centro did the needlework on his thigh. His dad’s calf wound turned out to be more serious than they first thought, but the venerable Stonewall McBride was expected to make a full recovery.
“Is BSI otherwise unscathed?” Nathan asked.
“So far, so good. We had to act quickly, and I think we made the right call.”
“You’re talking Mason, Hahn, and Lyons?” George Beaumont’s death had been publicly explained as being due to natural causes. But he hadn’t heard how BSI explained the sudden disappearance of three of its key personnel.
Vince nodded. “This may not sit well with you, but officially they were killed in the line of duty, doing BSI work. That’s what we told their families.”
Nathan looked at Holly, then back at Vince.
“Given the circumstances,” Vince continued, “it seemed the right way to go. For the record, Mason and the others were KIA during a covert mission related to the takedown of Alisio’s cartel. Because of the classified nature of their work, that’s the only information BSI or the government can confirm. When Mason and the others signed contracts with us, they formally acknowledged that this kind of thing could happen, so their family members have accepted the situation about as well as anyone could.”
“So they’re unsung heroes,” Nathan said. “Like fallen CIA officers.”
Vince looked a little uneasy. “Yes, that’s a fair analogy. Their families will receive full death benefits, the works. I hope this doesn’t . . . you know, sit badly with you, given what really happened.”
Nathan wasn’t concerned. “I’m okay with it. It seems like a good solution to me. I can’t imagine how else you could’ve done it without compromising the program. And the families certainly don’t deserve to be punished.”
Vince nodded, as did Tommy. “That’s how we see it.”
“I have one personal favor to ask,” Nathan said. “I looked at your bio and noticed you’d climbed pretty high in the San Diego Sheriff’s Department before you became a co-owner in BSI with your brother and dad. Do you still have any connections over there?”
“Yes, I know lots of people.”
“Toby Haynes really wants to be a deputy sheriff. Since he literally took one for the team, could you put in a good word for him?”
“I absolutely can. And will. And if he’d rather stay with us, he’s got a bright future.”
“He told me he doesn’t think he can do that.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured, but the offer’s good if he changes his mind. BSI’s covering all of his out-of-pocket medical expenses and offering a healthy parting gift. It’s enough to make a down payment on a house, so he won’t have to be a renter for the rest of his life. All we’re asking is that he keeps everything confidential.”
“Toby’s not a gold digger; he’s a hard worker and an honest man. We offered him a job as well, but I’m pretty sure he’s set on being a deputy sheriff.”
“Please let me know if I can help, I mean, more than I already have.”
“Will do. You would’ve made a respectable Marine.”
“Thank you, that’s what my dad kept telling me.”
“So what’s next for you, Tommy? Sun, wine, and women? Sorry, Holly.”
“No offense taken.”
“I think I’ll chill for a while, then start a nursery business. I’ve always liked gardening.”
“Outstanding.”
“Well, we just wanted to say thank you in person,” Vince said. “If my father were alive, he’d be here.” br />
“He’ll be remembered.” Nathan shook hands with them.
They turned to go, but Tommy stopped. Nathan knew what was coming, and let it happen. Tommy gave him a handshake, then a brief hug.
After they left, Nathan said, “Thank you, Holly. I wasn’t big on meeting them, but I’m glad I did. Can we go for a walk?”
“Sure.” She turned to go, but Nathan didn’t move.
“What is it?” Holly asked.
“A question’s been bugging me ever since the fight in the borrow pit. When we were jogging across the desert, the saguaro cacti triggered a memory of a cartoon I used to watch.”
“Which one?”
“Quick Draw McGraw.”
“Are you serious?”
Nathan nodded.
She smiled. “I loved that cartoon. I laughed when Quick Draw played El Kabong and hit the bad guys on the head with his guitar.”
“Oh, man, I’d forgotten about that. He wore a mask and black cape and yelled ‘Kabong!’”
“Yep. So why are you thinking about it now?”
“Because I can’t remember the name of his little sidekick.”
“And that’s what’s bugging you?”
“Yeah, it’s making me crazy. I guess I could use the Internet, but that seems lazy. What on earth did people ever do before smartphones? I guess they went to the library or actually talked to each other.”
“His name was Baba Looey.”
“Yes! That’s it. Thanks, now I don’t have to cheat to get the answer. Harv didn’t know, and I told him not to look it up.”
“I’m speechless, Nathan. I had no idea.”
“What?”
“You just constantly surprise me.”
Holly took his hand, and they wandered north along the sidewalk. Nathan had played some pickup basketball games in the rec center across the street, but he hadn’t done it in years.
“I saw you at George’s memorial service,” Holly said.
“You were on the other end of the bleachers.”
“You knew I was there?”
He nodded.