I smiled down the line of my friends. Mine was the best seat in the house. “So, what’s everybody drinking?”
They ordered their drinks, and I poured accordingly. It was second nature. Glass, ice, booze. I knew the bar so well, I didn’t even need to look at the labels, just reached for everything by memory. Heaven help any asshole who didn’t put shit back where it belonged.
Astrid turned to Ellie. “So, what brought you to New York, Ellie?”
She took a sip of her vodka tonic. “I dunno. Just wanted out of LA. I walked in on Darren nailing this bitch Sasha, who was clearly not my friend. On my brand new duvet. I was this close to tweeting her real name, which she shouldn’t have told me, but she was drunk on appletinis in Hollywood one night and I convinced her to tell me. Honestly, I would have just stuck with Susan, but that’s just me.” She rolled her eyes and took another drink. “Anyway, I was trying to figure out where to go and was just like, ‘Duh. Rose.’ So, here I am.” She smiled.
Lily and I shared a look. “How long are you staying?” She asked.
Ellie shrugged. “I was going to maybe start looking for a job.”
“So, you moved here?” Lily prompted.
She giggled. “I guess I kind of did?” She waved a hand. “I’ll find another place if I decide to stay. Just tell me if you’re over it, Rosie.”
I smiled because what else could I do? If it were anyone else, I would have flipped. She could drop a house on me and I’d give up the ruby slippers without a second thought. “It’s fine, Ellie. What did your mom say?”
Ellie rolled her eyes. “You know her. She’s on some new juice diet and started selling cosmetics so she can fund a new line of dog clothes for her Yorkie. She’s going to Cabo with Dad and just bought a bunch of clothes that even I wouldn’t wear. And I’m a slut.”
Maggie almost choked on her drink.
“Anyway, she didn’t care, not when I told her I was coming here with you.”
“Well, now you’re here,” I said, “and you’ve unlocked your Times Square achievement. What do you want to do next?”
She looked up at the ceiling. “I’d like to go out, for sure. Shopping, that’s a must. Definitely need some D. And then, I don’t know.” She squinted. “I’m thinking a piercing.”
I laughed. “Oh, Ellie. It’s good to see you.”
She smiled. “You too.”
I looked down the row of faces in front of me again, realizing how much I missed everyone being together like this. It used to happen organically, though now it required several days of texting and coordination to get together. But any way I could get it, I was happy to take it.
I beamed at them. “I’m glad you guys all came out. It’s been too long.”
“It has,” Maggie said as she pushed her curls out of her face. “I feel like we’ve all just been so busy.”
Lily popped her head around West and pointed at Cooper. “Not too busy for sailing, though. You promised me sailing, Cooper. I need the Hamptons in my life.”
He chuckled. “I’ll deliver. I promise. How about Fourth of July? Everyone’s invited.”
A chorus of agreement rolled through us.
Lily jerked her chin at me, smiling like a traitor. “I think you should tell the boys how your date went yesterday, Rosie, before the tribe picks out your next one.”
I glared at her. “Oh, it was great, if you love a good horror story.”
“How bad was it?” Cooper asked, and Lily made a rim shot sound with her mouth. Everyone else leaned forward, and Patrick’s eyes were on me like a magnifying glass. I avoided looking in his direction at all costs.
“Trust me. It was bad. He went on about his deep interest in dead animals and his ‘passion’ for taxidermy. Then he judged and insulted me for not having a ‘passion’ of my own. He said whiskey didn’t count, so clearly he knows nothing.”
“Hear, hear,” Cooper cheered and raised his glass.
Everyone chuckled and took a drink, and I shook my head with a sigh. “It’s so dumb. I don’t know what I want to do, but why should that matter? I’m happy where I am. There’s nothing else I particularly want to do. So who cares if my job is my passion? I mean, how many people get to say they’re passionate about what they do?”
But then I looked at all of their faces, realizing each of them did work their passion: Maggie in charity work, Cooper in his family business, West a literature grad student, Lily a professional ballerina, Patrick an artist, and Astrid a model. And then there was me. And Ellie, I guess, too.
Maybe being talentless was a Fisher gene defect.
I actually laughed out loud at the realization.
Cooper took another drink and leaned on the bar. “Well, I mean, everyone has something they love. What about you?”
I leaned on the bar too. “I dunno. I love to skate, but it’s not like I can be a pro skater at twenty-six, if I were even good enough. I’m good at bartending, and I like the hours. The money’s good. It just works for me right now, in life.”
“What else?” he asked.
“I love movies and reading. Usually romance, all kinds.”
He raised his brow. “What about running a bookstore?”
I thought it over. “Could be fun, but I don’t think I’d do well with any corporate shit. It would have to be my own thing.” I smiled at the thought, imagining what it could be like. “What if it was just romance?”
His brows climbed higher. “What if you sold comics too?”
My eyes widened. “What if it was a bar?”
Lily gasped. “Oh, my God. What if you did like singles mixers? Comic boys and romance girls, finding love?”
I was gaping, my mind skipping through ideas. “Holy shit. That would be amazing.”
Cooper tipped his glass toward me. “I would back the fuck out of that.”
I laughed.
“I’m serious, Rose.” He leaned a little closer. “You know how to run a bar — you’ve been working here for years. I know comics. You know romance. I’ll put up the money, and you run it.”
My ears were hot, and I kept laughing. “That’s crazy. But it would be amazing. Who doesn’t want to get drunk and hang out around books? I could do like special events for book clubs, or even run a monthly book club, alternating between romance and graphic novels.”
Lily was amped up. “Seriously, think how hard it is to meet people in the city? That sounds like the perfect bar for some hard core matchmaking.”
“What would you call it?” Maggie asked.
“Whiskey and Words,” West called out.
“Whiskey Rose?” Lily added.
I shook my head. “Nah, doesn’t really say books. Paper Cuts?”
“Ooh, I like that.” Astrid raised her glass. “Books and blood. Your tag line can be ‘Suck it when it bleeds.’”
“Hmm,” I hummed, enjoying playing along. “What says romance and comics and booze?”
“Plot Twist,” Ellie said.
“Book Drunk,” Cooper said with a laugh.
“Book Wasted,” Lily shot. “Word Wasted.”
“Wasted Words,” Patrick said, and we locked eyes as everything came together, clicking into place.
I smiled at him, feeling the warmth of his gaze wash over me. “That would actually be perfect.”
Cooper smirked. “Well, now it has a name. The hard part is done.”
I shook my head, still daydreaming. “It’s fun to think about.”
His smile stretched a little higher. “Just think how much fun it’ll be to run.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Okay, Cooper. Now, who needs another drink?”
I poured another round while everyone talked, my mind still savoring the thought of running my own business. It would be fun. Hard, but fun. But I’d never let Cooper bet that much on me. Who knew how I could ever pay it back. Who knew if I could even do it without running it into the ground.
It sure was fun to dream about, though.
West leaned on th
e bar, talking around Maggie to Patrick, so she slipped off her stool and made her way down to the other end of the bar to sit with the girls. So naturally, so did I.
Lily smiled conspiratorially. “Time to pick date number two.”
“I haven’t even had time to recover from date number one.”
She shrugged. “Gotta get back on that horse, Rosie.” She held out her hand and wiggled her fingers.
I sighed and pulled my phone out of my pocket, slapping it into her palm.
Lily grinned as she pulled open the app. “I don’t know why you don’t enjoy this. It’s so fun.”
I laughed. “Maybe for you. You’re not the one who has to meet the guys. After Serial Killer Steve, I have to say I’m a little gun-shy.”
Ellie waved a hand. “One time, I met this guy on Tinder who had like thirteen dogs. I didn’t stay to bang because who wants that many dogs in your ass while you’re hooking up?”
Astrid snorted. “I can’t even use dating sites. The gossip mags would have a field day. Talk about dogs in my ass. So my dating pool is limited to other models and socialites, which is basically the worst subset of dating population ever.”
Maggie shook her head. “I’ve dated two guys ever — Jimmy, who never kept it in his pants, and Cooper. I am not at all equipped to weigh in on this.”
I smiled at her. “The only equipment you need is a vagina, and you have one of those.”
Lily scrolled through, holding my phone out so we could all see. Patrick seemed to know what we were doing — I could feel him every single time he looked over. Something was different with him. I mean, he’d been staring at me from the other side of this bar for months, but now it was different. Deeper. Like I could feel him calling me.
He was like a sexy tractor beam. So I did exactly what I could — I ignore him. Okay, I pretended to ignore him. I may have also stuck my butt out at what I thought might be the sexiest angle and been overly conscious of my hands, but whatever.
“Oh,” Ellie said, pointing at the screen. “Hang on, go back up. Who’s this guy? DesignerDan?”
“No more artists,” I said flatly.
Lily chuckled. “What about KingTaco?” She clicked on his profile.
“Points for the screen name, but working out is listed as a hobby.”
“That just means he’s probably got abs. I mean, they all work out.” Lily nodded at the boys.
I rolled my eyes. “Well, yeah, but they wouldn’t list it as a hobby. Also, he says he’s looking for ‘Someone who’s awesome.’ Next.”
Astrid snickered. “BavarianCream? There are too many jokes to even list.”
Lily squinted at the screen. “Hrywshs? Is that like, hairy wishes? Hurry washes?”
“Heinous wooshes?” I added.
“I’m going with hairy something. His beard connects with his chest hair.” Ellie pointed to his picture with her face jacked.
Lily laughed. “Dude, look at YankeeBro.”
My nose wrinkled. “Too real. Is he wearing a Ed Hardy shirt? I thought those went out of style like six years ago.”
Astrid shook her head. “Like, he actually thought that was cool. He put the word bro in his screename and was like, ‘Nailed it.’ I’d think it was clever if it was a joke, but the guy has Swarovski crystals on his shirt.”
Lily kept swiping with a confused look on her face. “Why are there so many pictures of guys with dogs?”
“I automatically assume those guys are players,” I said.
She laughed. “You are such a cynic. What about this one? DollarsAndSense?” She turned the screen.
I bobbed my head. “Cute, and points for word play, but that bow tie is a no.”
Lily frowned. “What’s wrong with his bow tie?”
“It makes him look like he’s twelve. It’s not like when, I don’t know, say Patrick wears one.”
Astrid nodded. “Oh, yeah. There’s not much that can top that. The bar’s too high.”
“So high,” I added with a laugh. “What about that one?”
Markalark’s profile picture was gorgeous — the light streaming in from a window as he looked down at his fingers on the neck of his guitar. He was a musician without any morbid hobbies, or at least nothing he wrote about on his profile, which the four of us combed over.
Lily raised a brow. “Are you sure you want to give a musician a shot? I thought you swore them off forever after Jack.”
I shrugged. “I’d give him a coffee date to prove me wrong.”
She handed me my phone, smiling. “Message him.”
I took it and fired off a message, trying not to feel nervous, figuring I could keep searching. SkateTreason crossed my mind, that hot skater boy I’d found the other day, but before I could look him up, my phone buzzed in my hand.
I gaped. “Holy shit, he already responded.”
“Bam,” Ellie said, breaking open her hand like she had thrown a bomb.
Hey, Rose. Nice to meet you. I’m available to hang whenever. When are you free?
“He wants to know when I’m free. What do I say?”
Astrid picked up her gin. “You don’t want him to think you’re desperate, but it sucks to wait to something that’s not a sure thing, too.”
I chewed my lip. “So tomorrow’s too soon?”
Ellie shrugged. “Fuck it, I say. Not too soon at all.”
What’s your day like tomorrow? I asked. I know of a great coffee shop nearby.
My phone buzzed a second later. Perfect. Just let me know the address and time, and I’ll be there.
My cheeks were hot, an involuntary smile on my lips. “It’s on for tomorrow.”
Lily grinned eagerly. “Are you excited? You look excited.”
“I am. I mean, anything has to be better than Serial Killer Steve.”
“Maybe Music Mark will be a hit,” Maggie said, smiling before sipping her bourbon.
I glanced over at Patrick, meeting his shadowed eyes. “We can hope.”
EVENTUALLY
Patrick
MAGGIE, COOPER, AND ASTRID LEFT, but the rest of us closed down the bar, waited for Rose to clean up, all while my mind rolled over what my next move would be. I felt ambitious, maybe a little foolhardy, unwavered by the girls swiping through a dating app, aside from the flashes of jealousy. I’d resisted the urge to pull a movie scene hero move and hop the bar to kiss some sense into her, ignoring the visions of her being with another man — in any sense of the word — because I knew she’d come back to me if I was patient. I didn’t know how I knew, but I did.
The way she looked at me this morning triggered something in me, the briefest glimmer of what she’d been hiding behind a wall of apathy that told me she still felt it. I’d calmed down from my cavalier high, knowing I couldn’t be rash or hasty, as much as I wanted to be. So, slow and steady it would be. The more time that passed, the more the wall would crumble until it was gone.
It was late, the bar locked and dark behind us, when we found ourselves walking up broadway, pizza in hand.
“Mmm,” Ellie groaned, mouth full. “The pizza here is way better, but I still would have preferred a taco truck.”
Rose nodded. “Seriously, finding good tacos in New York is impossible. I’ve been looking for years. There’s one that’s amazing, but it’s in Union Square. No way am I taking the train seventy blocks to Midtown just for tacos, no matter how bad I want them.”
Lily chuckled, angling her pizza for a bite. “May as well be in Jersey.”
“Or Brooklyn,” West added.
“I dunno,” I said. “Pizza is the best drunk food. It’s got everything you need — carbs, dairy, protein. Grease. Can’t do without that.”
Rose smiled at me. “Chase it with a glass of water and some ibuprofen and you’re hangover free.”
I smiled back and took a bite, wishing I hadn’t refused sleeping on her couch. Maybe there was still a way back over tonight. She didn’t want me to stay. No, it wasn’t that — I could see it in her face.
She was afraid to let me stay. Afraid she’d give up any more of her resolve than she already had.
When we reached Rose’s door, Lily and West said their goodbyes, walking on to our place. Their place. West’s place? I didn’t even know anymore. I hung back, waiting for the girls to get inside.
Ellie headed straight to her room with a wave over her shoulder, and Rose turned to me as she pulled her key out of the lock and stuffed her hands in the pocket of her leather jacket.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”
I looked into her eyes, trying to decipher whatever was behind them, though it was just beyond me. I wanted to tell her I wanted to stay forever. I wanted to tell her needed her. I wanted to touch her lips and tell her that she was mine, and I was hers. But I smiled, not saying what I wanted to. Just like old times.
Slow and steady.
“I’ll survive. See you around, Rose.”
She nodded, lips parted, her eyes on mine like she understood on some level, a level she wasn’t willing to acknowledge. “All right, Tricky.”
I backed away, watching her as she closed her door, and then I turned for my apartment.
West and Lily were still shuffling around the living room. He looked over his shoulder as sat on the couch, bending to untie his shoes. I took a seat in the armchair, propping my feet on the coffee table with a sigh.
“It’s been too long since everyone came out. That was nice.” Lily set her bag down on the table and sat next to West, smiling at me conspiratorially. “So are you gonna tell us what happened with Rose last night?”
West leaned back and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into him as they settled into the couch with a brow raised. “Uh, what’s this?”
I smirked. “What’d Rose say?”
“Well, she didn’t give up much, but given how flustered she was and how many times she said it wasn’t a big deal, I’m guessing it was definitely a big deal.”
“It was accidental. We were just hanging out and fell asleep, but when we woke up …” I looked at the bookshelf across the room, packed with books two layers deep and any way they could fit. “There’s a chance for me.”