“Not a day goes by that I don’t think about all our brothers and worry about them,” Jean said, turning serious. “Now I’ll be even more worried with you off to war, too.”
“Save your worries for Danny, not me,” John said, laughing. “He was the one who was always falling out of trees and breaking an arm or a leg, remember?”
Jean nodded, but she couldn’t manage a smile at the thought of Johnny fighting a war. “Do you know when you’ll be leaving?” she asked.
“We sail from New York next week. They say it takes ten or eleven days to cross over.”
“You better watch out for German submarines,” one of their younger brothers said somberly. “They like to sneak up and sink our ships, you know.”
John ruffled his hair. “Okay, buddy. I’ll be on the lookout.”
Jean’s stomach twisted at this grim reminder. She wondered if Johnny also felt unnerved by the danger, in spite of his calm facade. She longed to ask him, to talk candidly with him, but Ma called them to dinner and the moment passed as they were quickly caught up in the family maelstrom.
“So you’ll be flying aerial missions over the continent?” their father asked as they sat down around the dinner table.
“Yep, that’s what I signed up for. I told you when I enlisted that I wanted to bomb Hitler and the Nazis, remember?”
“From what I’ve read about them,” their father said, “I’ve come to believe that this is much more than a political war—it’s part of the age-old battle between good and evil.”
“Satan has taken control of that man,” Ma added as she passed Jean a bowl of mashed potatoes, “and he has to be stopped.”
“I know,” Johnny said. “I always wanted to do God’s work, and I’m convinced that this is it. I don’t want to think about what the world will be like if we lose.”
“We won’t lose,” Ma said firmly. “Right is on our side.”
“How does it feel to be playing such a huge part in history?” Jean asked him.
“You’re doing your part, too, Jeannie, building ships.”
“It doesn’t seem like enough. I mean, I’m not risking my life or anything.”
They were still seated at the table after dinner, talking about the war, when Russ returned from helping his father with the farm chores. “What are we doing tonight?” he asked them.
“Sue wants to go dancing at that new serviceman’s club,” John said.
“Yes, please, let’s go,” Jean said. She stood, taking Russ’s hands. “You don’t have to dance if you don’t want to. We can just sit and talk or listen to the music. Please? I’d like to spend time with Johnny while I can.”
“It’s not because of the dancing,” Russ said, making a face. “All the guys will be in uniform except me.”
“Does that bother you?”
“I get tired of explaining to people that farmers are needed for the war effort, too. Soldiers have to eat, you know.”
“I know, I know,” Jean soothed. “But can’t you just ignore them for one night? Please?”
He shook his head, refusing to budge, and Jean couldn’t help wondering if Russ felt guilty, deep down, for not enlisting. How must it feel to watch his best friend go off to war, while he stayed home where it was safe? She thought of Earl Seaborn, so eager to do his part that he’d tried to enlist in three different states before being turned down each time.
“Okay, we’ll go someplace else,” Johnny said. Jean tried not to pout.
In the end, the four of them decided to sit around Sue’s house in town, talking until well after midnight. Sunday, when Jean had to catch the bus back to Stockton, came much too soon.
“We haven’t had enough time to talk, Ma,” Jean complained as she ate breakfast with her mother on Sunday morning. Her suitcase was packed again and standing beside the door. “Russ will be here any minute to take me to church, then I have to go straight to the bus station.”
“Maybe next time,” Ma said. “Do you want me to fix you an egg to go with your pancakes?”
“No, thanks…. Ma, Russ wants me to move back home for good. I applied for a job as a seamstress at the old furniture factory yesterday. They already said they’d hire me.”
Ma turned from the stove to face her. “You’re always welcome home anytime, you know that. But are you sure that’s what you should do?”
“I don’t know. I really miss Russ when I’m in Stockton, and when we’re together I don’t ever want to leave him again. But I like my job at the shipyard. They’ve given me a lot of responsibility, and I’ve made new friends there.” Jean shredded her pancake with her fork as she talked. “Most of all, I really enjoy my independence. I’d hate to give it up. But I don’t think Russ understands that. I don’t know … what do you think I should do?”
“You’re asking the wrong person, Jeannie. You need to ask God. He has a plan for your life, you know, and that should be all that matters, not what I think or what Russell thinks or anyone else.”
Ma opened the lid to the cast-iron cookstove and nudged the fire with a poker. She hefted the scuttle, and coal rattled noisily as she poured in more. Then she closed the lid again with a clang. The familiar sounds reminded Jean of her childhood and all the happy years she’d spent here. But as much as she loved being home again, she realized that she was a different person now, a grown woman, an independent woman, in charge of a crew of electricians at a shipyard. She wasn’t sure she wanted to move back home.
“I did pray about what to do before I left here and moved to Stockton,” she said, “and it seemed like God worked everything out for me to move away. I’m able to save a lot of money for college, plus I can help Patty out until Bill comes home.”
“Has God told you something different now?”
“The only thing that’s different is that I think I’m in love with Russ.”
“That’s wonderful, honey. If he loves you, then he’ll want God’s plan for your life, too. Excuse me a second… .” Ma walked to the bottom of the stairs and hollered, “Boys! If you don’t get a move on, you’ll be going to church hungry and in your pajamas!”
Jean smiled at her mother’s familiar threat. None of her siblings had ever arrived at church in his pajamas, but one or two of the dawdlers had been forced to change into his clothes in the car. Ma returned to the kitchen and gave Jean her full attention again.
“I’m sorry. Go on.”
“It surprised me that Johnny bought Sue an engagement ring,” she said quietly.
“Why is that, honey?”
“Russ and I have been dating for the same length of time, but we’re not ready for that kind of a commitment. Watching Sue and John together yesterday, I kept wondering if there’s something wrong with me. How come I’m not in a hurry to get married and have babies like all the other girls my age?”
“Maybe you haven’t fallen in love yet. Or maybe God has different plans for your life.”
“It seems like the desire to go to college gets stronger over time instead of fading away. Johnny and I were planning to go to school together, but I don’t understand how that’s going to work if he’s getting married.”
“Did you ask him? You know, there comes a time when twins have to lead separate lives, honey.”
Jean nodded, but she didn’t like the idea. “Russ still doesn’t understand why I want to go to college.”
“Does Russell have dreams for his own future?”
“I don’t know … probably.” Jean thought of the house that he was planning to build on the wooded hill.
“Would Russ want you to talk him out of fulfilling his dreams?”
“No …”
“Then he owes you the same consideration. And I know you’ve been dreaming of college for a long time. At any rate, it sounds like you two have a lot of things to work out. It will be good practice if you do get married. The willingness to compromise, to put the other person’s needs ahead of your own, is the foundation of a good marriage.”
“We’l
l work it out. I love Russ, and I know he loves me.”
Jean heard his truck tires crunching on the gravel driveway and stood to put her dishes in the kitchen sink. “This whole weekend went by much too fast, Ma. I spent more time sitting on buses than I did at home.”
“I know, Jeannie. It went too fast for me, too.” She drew Jean into her arms for a hug. “Letters aren’t the ideal way to talk to each other, but I guess they’ll have to do for now. You be sure to write and tell me what you decide about changing jobs.”
Any other Sunday, the morning church service seemed to drag, but today it was over much too quickly. Jean said good-bye to her mother and father and brothers in the churchyard before climbing into the truck with Russ and Johnny to go to the bus station. They barely had enough time to say good-bye before Jean’s bus arrived. Russ kissed her as if they would never see each other again.
“Please move back home, Jean,” he whispered. “I miss you so much.”
Jean remembered Rosa saying that she felt only half alive when she wasn’t with the man she loved, and Jean thought she finally understood what Rosa meant. “Okay. I’ll hand in my two weeks’ notice at the shipyard on Monday.”
Russ grinned. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
She exhaled, relieved that the decision had been made, and turned to her brother. “So. I guess it’s time. It was worth the long trip to see you again. You’re still my best friend, you know.”
“Since the beginning,” he replied.
She looked up at him, as tall and as blond as she was, and couldn’t bring herself to say good-bye. It sounded so final.
“I hate this stupid war,” she said.
“That’s why I’m gonna go over there and end it.”
“Would it do any good to tell you to be careful?” she asked. Tears choked her voice.
He laughed and pulled her into his arms for a hug. “See you later, Jeannie,” he said softly, and Jean knew he didn’t want to say good-bye, either.
“Yeah. See you later, Johnny.”
On Monday morning, Jean crowded into Earl Seaborn’s cubicle at work with the other crew chiefs for their monthly review meeting. She had spent a restless night planning how she would break the news to Earl and to the women on her crew that she was resigning, yet she still wasn’t sure what to say.
Earl began by reading a list of all the departments that had fallen behind during the past month, and he spent a few minutes encouraging the chiefs to do better. Then he congratulated the departments that had met or exceeded their quotas. Jean was thrilled to hear her crew named among the highest achievers. She was the only woman crew chief on the 7:00 A.M. to 3:00 P.M. shift, yet her all-women team had fulfilled their production quotas for two straight months. She knew she had a right to feel proud. Her elation lasted only a moment. Would she feel this glorious sense of accomplishment as a seamstress in the parachute factory? Why had she promised Russ that she would move home?
Jean had planned to give Earl her two weeks’ notice as soon as the meeting ended, but he seemed so preoccupied with other matters that she decided to wait until after work to tell him. Besides, there wouldn’t be as many people hovering around to overhear her, particularly Doug Sanders and the other men who habitually harassed her. If they learned she was quitting, they might accuse her of not being able to handle the pressure.
Rosa, Ginny, and Helen were waiting for Jean at their workstation. “I’ve got good news,” she told them. “Our crew met all of our production goals for a second straight month!” As she listened to them cheering and congratulating one another, she felt like a traitor for deserting them.
“We’d better get to work,” Helen said finally. “After all, we want to keep up the good work.”
When the lunch break finally came, Rosa started talking first. “Hey, how’d the big date with your husband go?” she asked Ginny.
The joy that had filled Ginny’s face a moment ago vanished. “It was a disaster. Harold is still aloof, and now we’re more estranged than ever. I need to give my two weeks’ notice,” she said, turning to Jean. “I hate to do it, but I can’t have Harold mad at me this way.”
Jean opened her mouth to speak, ready to give Ginny a hundred reasons why she shouldn’t give in to her husband’s pressure, but the words died before she uttered one of them. Hadn’t she been ready to do the very same thing? Russ had pressured her to quit, and they weren’t even married yet. In the end, Helen Kimball was the one who spoke first.
“Before you offer your resignation, Ginny, there’s something we need to discuss. Rosa’s husband is getting a brief furlough next month before he gets shipped overseas, and I think we should help her go to the naval base in Virginia to see him.”
Her request astounded Jean. Helen was the last person she would expect to show concern for Rosa. Ginny was the one who usually mothered everyone.
“Do you think we could all work extra hours or something,” Helen continued, “so that Rosa could have some time off? Before you respond, let me quickly tell you that my cleaning woman, Thelma King, is a qualified electrician. She has a first-class electrician’s diploma from a school in Detroit. She said that she already applied for a job here, but they didn’t have any openings at the time. I wondered if we could get her to fill in for Rosa on a trial basis, and maybe she could be hired full time later on to replace Ginny if everything works out?”
“I’ll have to talk to Earl—Mr. Seaborn—about all this,” Jean replied. “And to Mr. Wire, of course. But I don’t see why not.” Jean would wait until Rosa returned before she resigned. But why did she feel such regret at the thought of leaving and of someone else taking her place? “Have your friend come in and fill out an application,” she told Helen.
“She already filled out one. It should be on file. But I’ll tell her to fill out another one if you think it will help. And what about getting Rosa a leave of absence?”
“I want to help Rosa, too,” Ginny added. “I’ll be glad to work overtime or during lunch hour or anything else I have to do. That poor girl needs to go see her husband.”
“I agree,” Jean said. She could easily delay her own resignation for a few more weeks until Rosa came back. That would also give her time to train Thelma King. Jean had grown fond of Rosa and wanted to help her be with the man she loved. When she thought of Mr. Wire’s son dying so young, she knew she would never forgive herself if something happened to Dirk Voorhees and she hadn’t helped Rosa see him one last time.
“I’ll talk to Mr. Seaborn right after work,” Jean told them. “I promise to do everything in my power to get Rosa some time off.”
“And I changed my mind about resigning,” Ginny said. “I’m so happy for you, Rosa. I hope you get to go see Dirk and that you have a wonderful time.”
After her shift ended, Jean waited in Mr. Seaborn’s office to speak with him, but now it was for a different reason than she had intended this morning. Management didn’t work shift hours, and when Earl finally arrived, almost an hour after Jean’s quitting time, he looked tired and discouraged. She was glad she wasn’t handing him her resignation.
“What’s up, Jean? Sorry if I kept you waiting.”
“Rosa’s husband has finished his medical corpsman training and is being shipped overseas next month. Do you think we can help her get some time off to go see him?”
“It would have to be without pay.”
“I don’t think she cares about pay. And I might be able to get a temporary replacement for her. Helen knows a woman who already has an electrician’s diploma. She might not need much training. Do you think we can get her to fill in for Rosa? Are they hiring new workers?”
“We always need skilled workers. What’s her name? Have her come in and talk to Mr. Wire tomorrow. And I’ll ask about the leave of absence, but it should be okay.”
Jean felt happy for her friends as she began the long walk home; Ginny was staying, Rosa was going, and Helen’s friend might be getting a job. Then she remembered that her own plans to
resign had been postponed, and she knew she needed to write to Russ right away. Surely he would understand that Jean was needed here for another month.
I went to work this morning, she wrote in her letter that night, intending to give my two weeks’ notice, but I’m afraid there has been a change of plans. I need to help Rosa, one of my workers, go see her husband before he is shipped overseas. If I resign now it will affect production. I’m so sorry, Russ. I can’t leave for at least another month. It would be irresponsible. Please have patience with me for a little while longer so I can help out my friend.
At work the next day, Earl called Jean aside. “I went to bat for Rosa and got her some time off. But you’d better brace yourself for more harassment if you fall behind in your quotas. The two shifts that come after yours will have to pick up the slack, and some of those workers won’t be too happy about it. Just so you know. I sure hope Rosa decides to come back to work once her husband ships out.”
“What about Helen’s friend? Can’t she fill in for Rosa while she’s away?”
“I talked to Mr. Wire about her. He said he’d look over her file. I guess Helen Kimball went to see him, too, and applied a little pressure.”
Jean was so busy at work that a week went by before she realized that Russ had never answered the letter she’d written. At first she made excuses for him, blaming it on the post office or on too much farm work. But when two weeks passed without a letter from Russ, she could no longer fool herself. His silence had to be deliberate. He must be angry with her for not quitting immediately and coming home. She thought she understood how Ginny Mitchell felt, working against her husband’s wishes and becoming estranged, as Ginny put it.
The night before Rosa’s last day of work, Jean fled to her room after supper to write yet another pleading letter to Russ, begging him to understand, to have patience. She pictured the little grove of trees on the hill where he wanted to build a house for her, and she couldn’t stop her tears. “If he loves you,” her mother had said, “then he’ll want God’s will for your life.” Jean knew that helping Rosa see her husband had been the right thing to do. If only she could convince Russ to see it that way, too. Tears splotched the writing paper as she searched for the right words to convince him.