Tough, broody Julian, who brought her gifts like little tributes. She loved his innate sweetness. Loved even more that he’d argue that he was sweet at all.
She closed her eyes and soaped up, the scent teasing her senses as the swirls of the washing cloth stimulated her skin.
Before she’d gone into the program and moved to work for the foundation, she’d had someone. A nice someone who asked her to marry him. It hadn’t been hard to say no. Which still filled her with sadness.
Her work had been so important, far more important than marrying a man she enjoyed but didn’t love. Sex was easy enough to find if that’s what she needed.
And it was really what she needed right then.
She hadn’t come. Not in over a year.
Her nipples ached, tightening as the soap slid over them, as her fingertips brushed against them and she imagined it was Julian’s mouth. She loved his mouth. Loved the way his scruffy beard framed it.
The beard might tickle as she arched into him.
Or maybe she wouldn’t be able to arch. Maybe Vincenz would hold her fast. Keep her where they wanted her to be. Bound by his arms or … it didn’t matter. If it was him holding her, it would be all right. If it was him, or Julian, she’d struggle and like it, knowing it was a game.
But part of her, some deep, dark part that seemed to pulse with life whenever Julian cuffed her wrist with his hand, or when Vincenz held her still by the shoulders to look into her eyes, that part craved it.
Forehead against the cool of the tile, she imagined Vincenz pushing her thighs wide, holding her open as he licked through her pussy. One hand slid from her nipples down to her clit. She gasped at the first contact as a ripple of intense sensation moved through her.
A man like Vincenz … what would he be like as a lover? She’d wondered if he only liked men. Had seen enough to know he liked Julian a great deal. But from the way he’d kissed her a few minutes before, he seemed pretty interested. Maybe.
She shook her head, annoyed that she was second-guessing her stupid masturbatory fantasy into the ground. It was a fantasy. If he didn’t like girls in real life, what did it matter one way or the other to her? Right then it was easy to imagine his mouth on her cunt. Kissing her like a lover while Julian kissed his way from one nipple to the other.
Her inner walls fluttered when she pressed two fingers inside, angling to brush her thumb across her now-aching clit.
Her rhythm was off, but she remembered well enough how things worked. Orgasm hung just out of reach as she tightened all her muscles, needing to come probably more than she ever had.
Vincenz would flip her over and she’d get to her knees as he slid into her that way. He’d order her to suck Julian’s cock, which would be just fine with her. Each man would possess her in his own way. Thrust and pull away, a push and pull of three.
Tears mixed with the water, now turning tepid, streamed down her face as orgasm remained elusive.
Had they stolen this from her too? Was this broken?
The tug and roll of her nipples, even while imagining getting a hard fucking from Vincenz and a mouthful of Julian’s cock, wasn’t getting her that last little bit. Just a breath or two away from climax, she teetered on the edge, trying several heretofore guaranteed methods and none of them worked.
Frustrated, she stopped, turning to rinse off and wash her hair. Trying not to think. Trying not to worry.
It would be all right. She would go with them on their mission. Be with them instead of sent to Ravena or to a hospital.
It would be all right.
Chapter 9
Julian worked out as he thought about the way she’d felt against his body that morning. Each pull-up, the burn in his muscles, the stretch and strain of his upper arms and across his back meant he’d be strong enough not only to protect himself but to protect her as well.
He wasn’t able to protect Marame, who’d always been so invincible to him.
But he wouldn’t make the same mistake with Hannah. He and Vincenz would never give any opportunity for anyone to get a shot at her.
Vincenz had pushed her that morning, no doubt.
The moment she’d retreated into the bathing suite they’d been on each other, a mess of teeth and nails, cock to cock, writhing, sweating and in the end, he’d rolled to his back, breath heaving, fingers entangled still with Vincenz’s and with the knowledge that things had changed for not only the two of them, but for the three of them.
There was suddenly something else, which complicated matters considerably. But without which he’d be lesser. He wasn’t sure why or how it was that way, but she was part of his life, part of his life with Vincenz. Beautiful, skittish Hannah with her delightfully odd reactions to things they did. Any other woman, or man for that matter, would have run after a few days with them. But Hannah, though she didn’t know it herself, was made of sterner stuff.
She ignored the way he and Vincenz bickered as they worked. Never so much as flinched if one of them turned to her mid-conversation to argue a point. She rolled her eyes and waved it away if Julian got grumpy or short.
The way she accepted him did something to him. Disarmed him. Charmed him. Made him feel understood and appreciated. So many people he knew and loved were afraid of his reaction after Marame. They were right to in some ways. He’d gone off the rails and if it hadn’t been for work, and Vincenz, he may have fallen apart. The need to avenge her death had driven him hard, filling him with so much anger and darkness he stumbled his way through some days, barely hanging on. But Hannah wasn’t afraid of his reactions. When she was around she filled his empty spots, made it all right to feel the desolation of loss. Without judgment.
He had no idea what that could feel like. Had no concept that such a seemingly simple thing would be a revelation. About himself but also about Hannah.
Humming to himself, he did the last set and hopped down to mop his face off.
Things had changed. But they’d be all right.
“Ah, Hannah, there you are.” Vincenz looked up from his console to catch sight of her returning to the main room.
She’d been meeting with Dr. Pesch in the afternoons now. Each day she was stronger. She still had her moments, but he rarely found her in a corner anymore when he wasn’t around.
“I don’t want to bother you.” Her smile was hesitant.
He went to her and pulled her into a hug. At first these hugs and kisses had been affectionate, to calm and soothe her. By that point though, he needed them too. Needed the sweet, calm assurance she filled him with when she hugged him back and smiled, blushing a little.
“No bother. In fact, Julian and I think you can be of some help to us as we plan our mission. Are you willing to be an honorary operative?”
Her eyes widened with pleasure and her smile widened. “Really?”
Julian came in and scooted his chair closer to hers, kissing her lips like he’d been doing it all along.
Vincenz shook his head, amused.
“Yes, really. Part of what we’re going to do, lovely Hannah, is to check out the foundation’s offices in Silesia.”
“We figure you know a lot about not only how the Imperialists do things but also the subject matter. Julian and I don’t know much about the science and medical stuff. We could upload their databases, and we will.” Vincenz narrowed his gaze, remembering having to do that and discovering Hannah in one of the locked cells. “We need a technical expert.”
Worry crossed her face, but she pushed it away, visibly sitting straighter in her seat. “What do you need from me?”
So brave. He wanted her to understand the danger but also that he and Julian would die before they’d let the Imperium take her again. “Julian and I will handle all the military aspects of the mission. This is non-negotiable. We will carry the weapons and you will be protected at all times.”
She turned to him. “It is impossible to protect anyone at all times. This will slow you down and put you in danger.”
Her delivery always loosened the knot he carried in his belly. Matter-of-fact. She had few filters, and he’d wondered if she was this way before her time in that cell.
“Vincenz is correct, Hannah. Consider us your personal guard.” Julian’s spine was ramrod straight and Hannah paused to study him.
“I should have a weapon too. Just in case.”
Vincenz sighed. He should have known she’d negotiate instead of just letting them make the decisions. Still, it wasn’t a bad idea, which is why Julian had already been so actively working on her physical training and strengthening.
“Don’t think I can’t see past your sneaky ways, Hannah,” Julian teased with a wink. “You’ve been at me for weapons training all this time. I think it’s a fine idea so we’ll start with that today.”
She hugged Julian, kissing his cheeks and returned her attention to Vincenz.
“How can I help now? What can I do? When do we leave? Will we take a big transport or a private one?”
They’d been at it for hours. Vincenz and Julian were used to such hours, but Vincenz worried about Hannah, who’d already proven herself integral to their mission several times. Her language skills were top-notch. She worked at his side interpreting documents. Julian worked at pulling together all the documentation they’d need. Maps, tickets, travel documents. He coordinated with some of the other special teams and back with command back on Ravena.
Vincenz rolled his head on his shoulders, working out the kinks. “You should go to bed. We’ll be at this for another few hours, and you need your rest.”
She sniffed delicately. “Do you think medical doctors are unfamiliar with long hours?” A smile played at the edge of her mouth.
“You’re still recovering. Let your body do what it needs to.” Julian spoke without looking up from his screen.
“I’ve gained fourteen pounds. I’m not having as many nightmares. I had a nap today anyway. I’m not feeble.”
At that, Julian did look up. “No. Of all the words in all the ’Verses to describe you, feeble would never be one of them.”
“Every one of those pounds looks good on you.” And they did. She’d been thin and now she was softer, lusher. Her breasts, seven hells, they made his mouth water.
“Thank you, Vincenz. I’m spoiled now with all this delicious food. I’m not looking forward to the day when I have to worry over it again.” She pointed to the display. “Coding should be reversed here.”
He pushed the keyboard her way and watched as she clicked easily, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she did the work, replacing his string of code quickly.
“I should have known that.” It was logical after all, to have the code reflect how one culture or other communicated and broke down information.
“How long have you been here?” She got up and began to knead the muscles in his neck.
“Eleven standard years.”
“Did you also do this sort of technical writing when you were next in line to run the Imperium?”
“I’ve always excelled at mathematics. But my training was not focused there.”
“You learned it here?”
“One of the first jobs Ellis gave me was to comb through thousands of documents to look for information. Instead, I created an algorithm to find certain terms and phrases because it took up all my time the long way.”
She laughed and it wasn’t so rusty anymore. “He must have been delighted.”
“Surprised I think. They suspected me as a plant for a very long time.” He’d understood it, but it had hurt nonetheless.
A long pause as she looked him over. “It must have been very lonely for you. To be so misunderstood. To have done such an amazing, selfless thing and have people believe the worst of you.”
He spun and pulled her into his lap, hugging her tight, burying his face in her hair.
She left him exposed because she saw right to the heart of him. And didn’t flinch.
She held on tight. Her arms encircled his shoulders as her breathing slowed and she melted into his body. Those moments when it was as if she gave herself over to him raged through his memory, urging him on. Urging him to claim. To take and delight.
He dragged his eyelids up and met Julian’s gaze. Julian licked his lips and stood, and it was as if time slowed with each step he took until he reached them both.
Vincenz stood and put her on her feet, swaying with her.
He looked into her eyes, so glossy and dazed. She was as affected as he was. Thank the gods above and below.
Moving to stand behind Vincenz, Julian took one of her hands and turned it palm up. When he pressed his lips there she gulped and made a sound. A low, needy moan dragged from her lips as if she was as surprised by it as he was.
Her taste. He needed more.
Cuffing her wrist, Julian didn’t fail to notice the way her eyes widened and her pupils grew. Her lips parted, sweet and slick.
And he kissed that mouth.
He tried to take it slow, but there was no slow with her. Nothing halfway.
Surprised, she gasped and then breathed a sigh of pleasure into his mouth and he swallowed it, greedy for her.
Julian nipped her bottom lip the way he’d wanted to every day for weeks, maybe longer. Her fingers at his shoulder dug into the muscle there as she clung to him.
Moremoremoremore. Need was a drumbeat in his head, a throbbing bass in his gut, throttling through his veins like wildfire.
She tasted like spice and sweetness. Like something dark and forbidden and altogether precious and he needed her like he needed to breathe.
He kept Vincenz between them because he wanted to tear the clothes from her body to bare all that skin. He wanted to toss her on the table and bury his face in her cunt. She made him simultaneously want to dominate and cherish in a way that stripped all pretense away. Stripped him to his barest, basest urges.
He began to pull away from the kiss when she sucked his tongue and suddenly he couldn’t think why it was a bad thing to claim this woman who’d come into their lives in the most unexpected kind of way and had turned everything on its ear.
Forehead to forehead they stood, leaning on Vincenz, who rested his weight against Julian as Hannah’s hand remained clutched in the front of Vincenz’s shirt.
“Why me?’ she whispered.
“Because it’s you.”
Vincenz had said it as if he’d plucked it from Julian’s brain.
“But … you two are already …”
Julian grinned. “Oh, yes. A great deal.”
“But … I … how? I don’t want to come between you.”
Julian had to pause to gulp at the sight of Vincenz sliding a palm up her belly, between her breasts, up to collar her throat. Her eyes went half-mast and she blew out a gust of sound. A ragged sort of moan laced with entreaty.
“Looks like this time it’s my turn to be in between you.” Vin pulled her close enough to kiss. This time there was no soft or tentative brush of lips over hers. This was the kind of kiss that routinely turned Julian’s knees to rubber.
When he broke the kiss she pursed her lips and then rolled them against her tongue.
“There’s no between us in the sense you mean.”
Julian knew she was fragile. He knew she’d been through a lot. But all that fell away when she slid the hand clutched at Vincenz’s chest up around his neck and into his hair.
“Bed.” Julian wanted the room to do all he wanted to them both.
Vincenz’s dazed look sharpened as he turned his head to meet Julian’s gaze.
So close to that mouth, Julian was helpless to do anything but kiss him. He tasted of Hannah, which only drove him madder for them both.
Julian nipped his bottom lip and then went back for hers. Surprising them both, she laughed, dispelling any last doubts he might have had that she wasn’t on board with what was happening.
Vincenz flicked a few switches. “May as well let this do our work while we’re busy.”
Hannah had always believed herself a ’Verse-wide traveler. She was well read. Loved all sorts of new and exciting experiences. But this … well, this was something she’d never even really imagined. Aside from those moments in the shower earlier and a few fleeting wishes that they’d touch her the way they touched each other, she’d never thought it was actually something that she’d do.
They moved as a unit, these two men. That hadn’t changed. She’d watched the way they moved from the very start. They knew each other so well they had a rhythm she found ridiculously masculine and sexy. But she’d had to sneak in those moments when she watched like a voyeur. And now she was more—a participant. She couldn’t begin to fathom it.
She did know how grateful she was that she was able to appreciate it. That she was free and getting better and that neither of them considered her some sort of freak for what she’d endured.
Vincenz pulled his shirt off as they entered the bedchamber. She loved his body. Long and lean. Tight muscle lay over his body, bunching and flexing as he walked or moved.
Both men had slept in shirts and loose pants while she had been in the bed with them. But this …
Her gaze snagged on his belt where he paused to unbuckle and unzip his pants. Julian moved to stand behind her. “He’s gorgeous, isn’t he?”
She nodded, her breath catching as Vincenz pushed his trousers and shorts down and stepped from them. Totally, magnificently naked.
Without thinking she fanned her face and Vincenz caught the movement, swooping in and kissing her quickly. “That’s a fine compliment.”
Julian’s hand, palm flat against her belly, held her in place against the swell of his cock at her ass.
She gulped. Totally out of her element but wanting this more than she’d wanted anything. Ever.
Vincenz reached for her, but Julian spun her and she tipped her chin up to see his features better. And then he ripped her shirt down the front, sending the little metal buttons pinging against the wall and floor.