“Hey, C,” my dad says, “I’ve been rolling around an idea for a while and decided to act on it, but wanted to know your thoughts.”
“Hit me, Dad.”
“What if I told you that I talked to the high school about inviting Captain Walker to speak, and that they were enthusiastic about the idea? Do you think he would be interested in coming to his old alma mater and speaking to the students?”
“I’m not sure. He’s a private man…but I personally think it’s a fabulous idea. It would be good for him to see how respected he is in his hometown, and I know the students would gain valuable insight from what he’d have to share.”
I’m excited at the prospect. Captain’s family may have disowned him, but our town sure hasn’t.
I’m suddenly hit with a flash of brilliance. “Of course, it’s up to Charles whether he wants to return and speak at the high school but, if he says yes…”
I decide to share my idea with Dad.
It’s almost a full three weeks before I get word that Captain is coming home!
He informs me while on the jet that not only was their final mission a success, but no one involved was hurt in the process. “We have nothing to fear now,” he declares proudly.
I close my eyes, relief flowing through my veins. “I knew you would bring them all home safely.”
“I’m coming home, just like I promised.”
“I’ll be waiting for you with bells on,” I answer, crying happy tears.
Twelve hours later, the private jet rolls to a stop and the three of them emerge from the craft. For safety reasons, I’m not allowed to run out onto the tarmac to meet him, so I wait anxiously for Captain to turn and see me.
I’m jumping on the balls of my feet, the bell I’ve attached to my collar ringing as I squeak with excitement. The security guard takes pity on me and gives me a wink as he opens the gate.
I bolt toward Captain, running at full speed. Ms. Clark notices me first and nudges him. When Captain turns his head and sees me, he unceremoniously drops the bag in his hand and starts running to me.
I bound up and leap into his arms, wrapping my legs around him.
“Oh, my pet, my pet…”
I can’t stop the happy tears as I pepper his face with kisses before giving him a kiss on the lips. “My Captain has returned.”
“How good it is to feel you in my arms,” he says gruffly, kissing me more deeply.
The world disappears for a moment as we become lost in each other.
The fates have finally been kind.
Samantha comes up from behind, holding Captain’s bag. “Don’t let me interrupt, I just didn’t want you to forget this.” She nods to us and turns, her stilettos clicking against the concrete as she walks away.
Captain’s gaze settles on my collar. “You have your bell on for me.”
I open the lapel of the thin coat I’m wearing, revealing I have nothing else on underneath.
“Oh yes…” he growls seductively. “This is exactly what I have been imagining the entire time I’ve been gone.”
“Take me home, Captain,” I say, nuzzling his neck.
Still holding me, he picks up his bag. “Homeward bound, and we’re not leaving it for a week.”
“Or longer,” I purr.
Captain doesn’t even wait until we make it home. “I have needed you for too long, my pet,” he growls.
Pulling into a closed business park, he drives around to the back and parks under the shade of a tree.
“Are you ready to be ravaged?”
My eyes widen, excited at the prospect of doing it right here and now. “Yes!”
Getting out of the car, he walks over to my door and opens it, commanding, “Then join me in the back.”
I move to the back seat and he climbs in beside me. I giggle as he shuts the door and stares at me lustfully. “Let me see you wearing only my collar.”
I glance around tentatively before untying my sash and unbuttoning my light coat. I open the thin material enough to expose my naked body to him.
The voracious look in his eye makes me weak with desire. Captain descends on me like a hungry cat, sucking, licking and even lightly biting. He pulls off my thin jacket and pushes me down onto the bench seat.
I close my eyes, moaning in ecstasy as he sucks on my breasts before nibbling on my neck.
“May I?” I ask breathlessly as I grab onto his belt.
“Yes, I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you,” he growls huskily, plundering my mouth as I undo his belt and pants. He scoots me down farther, positioning his cock against my wet opening.
“Take me, Captain…” I beg.
He pushes his shaft slowly into me, making my pussy take the full length of him. We lay there for a moment, reveling in this intimate connection.
“Welcome home,” I tell him, my heart bursting with my love for him.
“I love you, Candy,” he declares as he begins thrusting.
My body molds to him as we make glorious love in his backseat, the bell ringing merrily while a bird chirps in the tree above us.
I have never felt so happy and alive.
Captain is home!
While Captain is off getting last-minute supplies with Baron for our first session in his dungeon, we get an unexpected phone call on the landline.
“Can I speak to Charles Walker?” a woman asks.
“I’m sorry. He’s not here right now.”
“This is urgent.”
Something feels off, so I tell her, “I’ll be sure to pass on your message to him.”
“Are you his spouse?”
“Girlfriend,” I reply curtly.
“I’m a nurse caring for Mr. Walker. He is dying and has requested his oldest son come to his bedside.”
“Why does he want to see Charles now, after years of silence?”
“I cannot say.”
I find it odd that it isn’t Charles’s mother or brother making such a call.
“Charles and his father are not on speaking terms,” I inform her.
“I’m not familiar with their history, but Mr. Walker doesn’t have much time left, Miss…?”
“My name is Miss Cox.”
“Miss Cox, Mr. Walker has been asking for Charles for days now. He’s quite insistent about wanting to talk to him.”
I tremble, wondering if this will be the reconciliation Captain has been waiting for all of his adult life. “Let me write down your information. I’ll be sure to pass it on when Captain Walker returns.”
“Certainly.” She gives me her contact information as well as the address of the VA hospital, stating afterward, “Miss Cox, Mr. Walker has dementia, but he has been cognizant the last few days and has been asking for his son constantly. Please let Charles Walker know that.”
I start pacing the floor after I hang up. This could be an incredible opportunity to be reconciled with his father after all these years—but the man is dying.
I can barely contain myself when, hours later, he walks through the door. “Captain, I have news for you.”
“What’s wrong, pet?” he asks as soon as he sees my face.
“I received a call from a nurse…you may want to sit down.”
Captain shakes his head, refusing to budge. “Tell me.”
“I’m sorry, Captain, but your father is dying.”
“I’m not sorry.”
I shift nervously, unsure how he will react to the next bit of news. “He’s been asking to see you.”
“Did my mother call to tell you this?”
I shake my head. “No, it was a nurse who has been looking after him.”
Captain frowns.
When he doesn’t say anything, I add, “She told me he doesn’t have much time left.”
He sighs, wearing a tortured look when he tells me, “You have no idea how painful this is for me.”
I wish I could take his pain away. “I’m so sorry.”
Wrapping his powerful arms around me, Captai
n says, “I’ve never told anyone what happened when Jacob and Mama came to visit me in the hospital after I returned to the States.”
I have a feeling that what he is about to tell me will break my heart. “What happened, Captain?” I ask gently.
He says nothing, walking me over to the couch so we can sit down. Pulling me to him for comfort, I lay in his arms waiting for him to share his terrible secret.
Closure
Captain
I stare at Candy, hesitant to talk about the moment that left a scar on my soul for all of these years, but I trust her enough to expose the deepest wounds I carry.
“This must stay between us, pet.”
“Of course, Captain. I would never betray your confidence.”
I feel my stomach twist, thinking back on that meeting with the two people who were dearest to me. All those years in the service, and I had counted on reconciliation with my mother and brother.
Despite their silence, I believed that day would come, and I was right. But, it was nothing like I imagined…
It takes me a few minutes to compartmentalize my emotions before I let the events slowly unfold in my mind.
The extensive damage caused to the right side of my face by the explosion makes it feel as if my entire head is on fire. My brain cannot localize the pain, and I am completely consumed by it.
There is no reality other than Pain.
I long for escape, and I beg God for it.
If you are truly merciful, I beseech you to end this and let me die. Let me join my men…
But, I’ve known since I was young that God doesn’t often give you what you ask for.
“Charles.”
The voice is so familiar and dear, I actually stop breathing for a moment.
“Oh, Charles…” Her voice breaks and she begins to sob. The sound of my mother crying pulls at my heart.
I turn my head toward her and open my one good eye. It takes a few moments for my eye to adjust as her outline comes into focus. I see my mother standing beside the bed, along with a young man dressed in an Air Force uniform.
It must be Jacob, but the expression on his face makes my blood run cold. I see nothing but disgust and anger in his eyes—and it is eerily reminiscent of my father.
My mother’s sobs rip at my heart and I lift my hand to her, forgetting my own pain.
“Don’t cry, Mama.”
She shakes her head, crying even more. “Look what’s happened to my little boy…”
I swallow hard.
I’ve missed her so much that my heart aches. “I love you, Mama.”
She whimpers, tears streaming down her face, but she’s unable to look at me. “Charles, why did you have to choose this life? You didn’t have to end up this way.”
Her words hit me hard in the chest. My injuries are not something I chose, and I stare at her in disbelief.
Jacob growls, “Haven’t you caused our family enough torment?”
I turn my gaze to him. I don’t recognize the cold-hearted man standing before me. The brother I knew no longer exists. “I don’t know what’s happened to you, Jacob.”
“What happened is that you ran away from your duty to your family like a coward, leaving me to pick up the pieces.”
“That’s not what happened.”
“Don’t try to rewrite history now that you are helpless and alone. You made your choice, choosing the Army over family, and I can never forgive you for it.”
It’s like listening to my father all over again and I grimace in pain. My blood pressure is rising, making my entire head pound in agony.
Jacob stares down at me accusingly. “You abandoned us, Charlie, and never once looked back. Do you know how many nights Mama has cried herself to sleep? Do you?”
“What about the letters? I wrote you every damn Tuesday for years without one fucking response from you.”
“Liar!” he spits. “You would say anything to get back in our good graces now that you have no one to take care of you.”
I look to my mother. She knows the truth. “What happened to all the letters?”
“I never saw any letters—except one. A young woman handed it to me in the grocery store, claiming it was from you. She claimed a lot of things…”
“What did you do with the letter, Mama?”
“I gave it to your father, unopened. I didn’t have a choice. Those were my orders if I ever received anything from you.”
“Why would you do that?” I cry in disbelief.
“You know your father. If I had opened that letter, he would have seen it as a betrayal. I couldn’t risk losing Jacob, too…”
I glance back at my little brother. “I never stopped thinking about you, Jacob. It’s not my fault Father erased me from your life.”
His stare is cold and unsympathetic. “You didn’t have to leave us.”
“I did.”
“And look where it’s gotten you,” he says, laughing sarcastically.
I growl under my breath, refusing to listen to my father speaking to me through my brother. “Why have you come?” I demand.
“To let you know we are aware of your situation and will not be helping you. You created this situation, and now you must live with it.”
I stare at him, unable to reconcile the boy I once knew with the man standing before me now, and feel a sense of regret. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you.”
Jacob frowns. “I don’t need saving, you pompous ass.”
“You’re right. It’s too late.”
He shakes his head in disgust. “I can’t believe I ever looked up to you.” Turning to my mother, he snarls, “It’s time to go. We did what we came here for.”
Jacob walks off, not bothering to look back.
My mother still cannot bear to look at me and fumbles through her purse, pulling out a large wad of cash. “This is money I’ve been saving a little at a time over the years so your father wouldn’t notice.” She stuffs the money in my hand. “I want you to have all of it.”
I don’t want the money—I only want her to stay. “Don’t go, Mama.”
She braves a quick glance at me. “I love you, Charles…”
“Mama,” Jacob barks sternly from the doorway.
“Goodbye,” she whispers.
My throat constricts as I watch her hurry to join Jacob.
I have never felt so utterly alone.
“I can’t even imagine,” Candy says when I finish, tears running down her face. Wrapping her arms around me, she lays her head on my chest. “I’m so sorry they did that to you…”
I gladly accept her hug. I’ve suffered too long with the memory to show any outward emotion, but it still hurts deeply.
“Did they ever reconcile with you?” she asks.
“No. I never saw them again.”
She looks up at me. “How could your brother be so cruel to you?”
“He was parroting what my father told him. I’m convinced Jacob was brainwashed.” Tears come to my eye. “He was a sweet kid once. I hate that my father took that from him.”
“But why would your mother go along with it?”
“With time, I’ve come to understand. I believe when I left to join the Army, she had to make a choice. It was either Jacob or me, and he was just a little boy. Had she taken a stand against my father, I guarantee he would have cut her out, as well. The fact is…Jacob needed her more than I did, so she stayed.”
“But she didn’t even open your letter.”
“I’ve thought about that as well and realized she couldn’t take that chance. Ellen gave it to my mother in a public place, which was the worst thing she could have done. My father is a control freak, and people in small towns talk. My mother couldn’t risk hiding the letter from him in case someone mentioned it to him.” I sigh deeply. “And because of that, Jacob was never given the chance to decide his own fate.”
Candy smiles sadly. “You still love your brother, don’t you?”
“I don’t care for t
he person he’s become, but I remember the boy he once was, and I loved him dearly. I have to believe that part of him still exists.”
“I don’t understand your father.”
“I don’t, either, but I’ve stopped caring at this point.”
She lays her head on my chest. “I wish I could make up for all he’s done.”
I wrap my arms around her, squeezing her tight. “You have, my pet. Don’t you know my world has changed because you’re in it?”
We sit there for several minutes before she asks the question that has been burning in my heart ever since I got the news. “What if your father is sorry for what he’s done?”
“Why should I give him the satisfaction of a peaceful death when I have suffered every day since he cut me out of their lives? How is that fair?”
“That’s a valid point, but…if he’s sincere, it might finally bring you some closure. At the very least, you would have a chance to confront him.”
I sit there, contemplating what to do. On one hand, the thought of him dying without having the final word has a great appeal. At the same time, if there is a chance of closure, it might be worth the risk it poses to my soul.
Might…
To Candy’s credit, she does not try to persuade me one way or the other, understanding that this is a very personal decision.
Do I err on the side of justice and let him suffer his last moments, or do I risk being hurt again in the hopes that he will admit he was wrong?
I book plane tickets for us the next day deciding—today, at least—to be an optimist.
Candy takes my hand as we board the plane. It is her strength I lean on during that long plane ride. My only consolation in going to see my father is that he was moved to a hospital in another state.
I am grateful not to have to face my hometown, on top of confronting my father.
I walk into the hospital room behind the nurse. My muscles are tense—ready for battle.
I’m extremely grateful to have Candy beside me. No matter how this plays out, I know she will stand by me.
Seeing my father lying in the hospital bed, he seems so much smaller than I remember. It’s a jolt to my system to think this wrinkled, gray-haired man is the same person, but it’s been more than thirty years since we had that confrontation at the house.