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Chapter 1
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- Sara -
Oh crap. That was bad. Not like bad-sex bad. In fact, what we just did was nothing like bad sex. Which made it bad in the too-good-sex way. And everyone knows that too-good sex with a guy you barely know is bad. Because if the sex is that good the first time, you want to see what it would be like the second time…and the twentieth. And then you get attached, even if he turns out to be a horrible dickhead in every other way.
All because he gave you multiple orgasms.
I know this not from personal experience, but because at some unfortunate in our biological development, women have decided that if a man cares enough to figure out what you need to get off, he cares about the person attached to the vagina.
Therefore, this man was dangerous in an emotional way, which made it way worse because physical injuries heal a lot quicker than emotional ones do.
So as soon as I’d caught my breath, I slid out of his bed and looked for my clothes.
“What are you doing?” he asked, sitting up.
“I’m going home. It’s past my bedtime.”
Damn, he was gorgeous. His spiky light brown hair looked even better than it had before the last few hours of full-body wrestling we’d just done. A small dimple dented each of his cheeks, even though he wasn’t smiling anymore. A body Greek sculptors could only fantasize about. I could feel a purr of longing starting in my stomach. Okay, fine, it may have started a little lower than my stomach.
I wanted to go over and kiss him one more time, but that would risk him pulling me back in for another round. I slipped on my undies and then my pants.
“Huh. Okay. So what’d you use me for?”
“I—” I didn’t look up. And I didn’t answer his question.
Then he was in front of me, his hands on my waist. “Is this the first time you’ve done it?”
I laughed. “Wow. Was I that bad?”
“The sex? No, the sex was fantastic. Phenomenal. But I meant, is this the first time you’ve buttoned up your pants?”
“I don’t get it.”
“Look at me.” He repeated it when I hesitated, then smiled when I raised my chin and made eye contact. “Well, there has to be a reason you would be so focused on your jeans that you couldn’t even bother to look at me. So buttoning your pants… It’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it. I’ll show you.” He brushed my hands out of the way and buttoned my jeans, holding my eyes and feeling his way through the process. “See? Don’t worry. You’ll get it eventually. And then you won’t even have to look.” He pulled me towards him. “Now kiss me.”
I shook my head and ran my lip through my teeth. “I probably have terrible morning breath.”
“This is a continuation of last night. You have to sleep to have morning breath. So kiss me already.”
I did, lightly until his lips demanded more. My arms stayed to my sides, stuck there immobile, the only thing with any control whatsoever it seemed, because the rest of my body responded to his every touch. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and his arms wrapped tightly around me, lifting me up onto my tip toes.
He pulled away slightly and lowered me to the ground. “You’re right. You have terrible morning breath.” His smile was wicked. “That was such a horrible experience, I’d like to do it again. Right now.”
“I need to go.”
He released me, sighing. “If I asked you for your number so we could see each other again, would you give me a fake one?”
I shook my head. “I’d just say no.”
“Fuck, that’s harsh,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “A guy could take that personally, you know.”
“You shouldn’t. You were great, and you seem like a nice guy. But I never give my number out.”
“So either you’re already involved or you have serious issues. Which is it?”
“I’m not already involved with anyone.”
He grimaced and then went to his dresser. “If you ever want to be, give me a call.” He took a business card out of his wallet, wrote something down on it, and handed it to me. “It’s not my card, but I wrote down my number. Call me.”
“Me and my issues?”
“We all have issues, Sara. And we all have ways to cope.”
“How do you cope?”
“Self-destructively. I’m really good at it. Last night, for example, I went to a bar looking for an amazing woman who would want nothing to do with me in the morning. All so that I can spend the next few days pounding my head against the wall wondering what happened and where I went wrong. Totally successful endeavor, by the way. In fact, it’s probably better that you don’t give me your number because I’m going to be busy telling myself what a fuck-up I am until…at least, Thursday or Friday.”
I curled my fingers around his card instead of giving it back like I’d planned. “I don’t do the relationship thing.”
“Obviously.” He held up his hands and motioned to himself. “‘Cause, if you did, how could you possibly pass this mess up?”
“Maybe we could just…” I shrugged. Damn it. He was ten times as gorgeous as anyone I’d ever been with, had an incredible body he knew exactly how to use, and a sense of humor I could definitely get used to. Which made him complicated. And another hook-up would be dangerous, regardless of how much I’d like to.
“Okay, I think I finally got your hint,” he said nodding. “Well, Sara. It was nice to meet you, it was great to fuck you, and I wish you, your issues, and your coping mechanisms long and happy lives.”
“Same to you. I’m gonna…I mean, I could…”
“If you want to leave, then leave. If you want to stay, then stay. Shit, if you need a coin to toss, I’ll give you one. But I’m feeling slightly insecure right now, so would appreciate it if you could make a decision without any more of the mixed signals.”
He was right—my actions defined mixed signals, because that was all my mind could manage right now. What needed to happen was a decision. The same one I always made, in the past year, at least.
“Bye.” I ran. I didn’t close the doors behind me, as if my subconscious was hinting that I didn’t want those doors to close. But it could go to hell. I knew what I wanted, and it wasn’t him. It wasn’t any of them. The only person I could count on was myself. I was the only one who could keep me safe. I was the only one I could trust.
When I got to the sidewalk, I took out the card he’d given me and smoothed it on my pant leg. Some guy who was a music executive of some kind. But on the other side, there was a name and a number—Declan. Declan. It was a nice name. Nice guy. A nice guy with a nice name that I would never be seeing again.
Besides, he was wrong—one-nighters weren’t coping mechanisms. They were distractions, something to relieve the pressure and blow off steam. Two people getting what they want without the inevitable hurt that depending or trusting someone leads to.
Did some people think I had trust issues? Hell yes. But I saw myself as a realist. No one should trust anyone. That was a fact.
No one saw pain coming, or it wouldn’t hurt so much when it happened. You wouldn’t feel humiliated and spend weeks in shock, living in a blurred reality. That wouldn’t happen if you were prepared, stayed vigilant, didn’t look for things that weren’t real. The only thing you can trust is that people are liars and do whatever the hell they want to do without concern for anyone else.
I hadn’t been prepared once, and it had almost killed me. A mistake I’ll never repeat. Ever.
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Seriously, folks, this one both breaks my heart and cracks me up. Can’t wait to share Sara and Declan’s story with you.
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Click here or go to my website to sign-up to be notified when pre-order links are available and when Immaterial Defense is released.
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Plus, stay tuned for my twists on The Little Mermaid, Rapunzel, Rumplestiltskin, Cinderella, Peter Pan, and the Princess and the Pea.
br /> Also by Lauren Stewart
Paranormal
Unseen, The Heights Vol 1
Job security isn’t something Addison is all that concerned with. Death, however? Yeah, death is a major concern.
While a prophesied war brews in the Heights, Addison and Rhyse must decide which carries more risk—trusting someone who could destroy you or trusting someone who could love you?
Unearthed, The Heights Vol 2
What would you give up for freedom? Even if it wasn't yours?
Two people from opposite sides of a war will discover the price of freedom and what they’re willing to pay for it. But in the Heights, nothing is ever fair. For something they both want, one of them will pay with their eternity.
Unwanted, The Heights Vol 3
~ coming soon ~
The werewolf pack doesn’t want Noah almost as much as he doesn’t want to be one of them.
It doesn’t get any easier when he realizes what he does want and where he truly belongs - next to the daughter of his enemy.
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The Heights not only protects the secrecy of vampires, shifters, demons, angels, and other supernaturals, it protects the humans unaware of the world hidden within their own. This series is a mixture of urban fantasy and paranormal romance with multiple interlocking stories and characters and plot lines as well as different races of supernatural beings, each with their own cultures, hierarchy, and attributes. It’s not a series about only two people, or three, or even four. This is a world in which everyone will have to pick a side.
* * *
The Hyde Trilogy
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Hyde ~ Jekyll ~ Strange Case
The Complete Hyde Series Box Set
“...my favorite series of the year...a perfect blend of what makes a book go down in history.”
— Ohhh My Shelves
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Dark and light, good and evil—mankind’s universal struggle.
But what if you’re not a man? Or can never allow yourself to be kind? What about on those nights when you’re not quite human?
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Two people bonded by a curse of heredity and the manipulation of an unknown entity. When the truth leaves them nothing to hold onto, they will be forced into a partnership neither expected…or wanted.
Because in life, who you trust is as important as who you are. And when you can't even trust yourself, sometimes the only person you can rely on is the last person on earth you should be falling for.
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All three full-length novels are intended for adults because of very naughty language, biting sarcasm, and descriptive love scenes. They are not a retelling of the classic story. Not even close.
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Second Bite
A second chance…
A second lifetime…
Can Daniel overcome two lifetimes of guilt and be the man Olivia needs? Or will both of them lose everything?
Get Second Bite for FREE when you sign up for my newsletter!
* * *
Contemporary Romance
Darker Water, Once and Forever #1
Some fairytales begin with a kiss…
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Two people want the same thing--a commitment to nothing more than great sex in a bunch of different positions. Simple. Enjoyable. A win-win. Problem is, those two people have families and fears and pain that spill into every moment of their lives, control what they do and who they are. And if either Carson or Laney can't free themselves from the past, they'll both be pulled under by it.
Virtually Impossible, Once and Forever #2
Love before first sight…
Hayden and Andi need to wake up to understand how perfect they are...for each other. If they can't, any chance either of them have of finding a happily ever after will be virtually impossible.
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Once and Forever is a series of standalone romances inspired by the themes of classic tales and legends. Because while fairytales aren’t real, love is.
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Humorous Mystery
No Experience Required
a Summer Rains mystery
After leaving the hippie commune she grew up on, Summer Rains set a modest goal for herself: earn enough money to live a normal life in the real world.
Maybe she was aiming too high.
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This novel is a fun comedic-mystery, similar in tone to the books of Janet Evanovich, Meg Cabot, and Stephanie Bond. Also available as an audiobook.
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There will be more.
Much more. More in The Heights, Once and Forever, Summer Rains, a spin-off of the Hyde series, an as-of-now untitled YA paranormal series, and a billion more projects all impatiently waiting their turn. So stay in touch to find out what’s next.
www.LaurenStewartAuthor.com
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Become a Stewartist! Join my reader’s group on Facebook to chat about books, life, and anything else we come up with. Typically, this is where I give out advanced reader copies, swag, and lots of eBooks and signed paperbacks.
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Acknowledgments
To my Stewartists, readers, bloggers, and writer buddies: Thank you for not giving up on me. It’s an honor to call you friends.
And no, I’m not going to stop calling you friends, no matter how many times you tell me to leave you alone.
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To my talented and patient cover designer Amanda: You really should count yourself lucky to work with me. The amount of patience you’ve been forced to attain in order to deal with me is the only reason you’ll ever get into heaven. ;)
And on that note…
Dear reader:
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Last year and most of 2016, I couldn’t write. There were a lot of reasons for it - a car accident, a broken hand, physical therapy, anxiety, lots of different family health issues, moving, kids, the death of a parent.
It sucked. And not a day went by that I didn’t feel guilty about it. Writing is freedom to me. It’s exciting, and absorbing, and fun, and somehow makes time move five times faster. Since I didn’t start doing it until 2010, I really wonder what kept me going all the years before that. Writing is a dream, a passion, and the thing I was meant to do.
But I couldn’t do it.
I had all these incredible people asking me when my next book would be out and telling me to hurry the hell up.* I had some momentum in this crazy tough business, and my dream of writing full-time seemed completely doable.
Except I couldn’t do it.
I hated that I was letting readers down. I hated that I was letting myself down. And the worse I felt, the longer I stayed away from my keyboard. And the fewer daydreams of banter or plot twists came to me.
Because I was afraid of disappointing someone, I held myself back from doing something that gives me a sense of self and makes me happy.
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I’m not going to do that again. No one can, or should, live in fear of anything - real or imagined. I’m so grateful for everyone who’s ever opened one of my books and, while I dearly hope you love every single one of them, I know you won’t. And that’s okay.
I started writing to express myself, to have fun, to get the crazy out of my head and onto the page. That’s where I need to get back to. So I may disappear from social media occasionally or have a surprise release because I didn’t want to stress out over all the prep of a big book launch.
I hope you’ll be there and will continue to drop me notes, tell me what I have to read next, and nag me about my next release. Because I think you’re amazing. And one thing I’ve always been great at is judging someone’s character. Except for anyone I’ve dated and married. I’m really, really bad at picking those. :)
XOXOXO
- Lauren
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*To everyone who encouraged me by emailing and sending messages to remind me what I should’ve been doing. It took a lot longer than any of us like, but it worked. So thank you.
About the Author
Lauren Stewart lives in Northern California with one teenager, one almost-teenager, a cat, and a very big, very high-maintenance puppy. On nights when Lauren doesn’t pass out from exhaustion, she reads almost every genre so, naturally, her writing reflects that. With every book and every story, you'll find elements of other genres—fantasy, mystery, romance, paranormal, suspense, YA, women's literature, all with a touch of humor.
Because what doesn't kill us should make us laugh.