“No, I’m okay,” he gulped.
Molly placed her small hand on his arm, letting him know she was there for him. “Would you like me to leave, Luke?”
The lights in the room seemed incredibly bright, causing a pounding to take up place behind Luke’s eyes. The sterile scent of the medical exam room hit him hard, as flashbacks of the day he was found ran through his mind.
He wanted to do this, desperately he wanted to get this off his chest, but as if his mind was running on fast forward and repeat, he kept reliving his time he was held captive from the beginning to the very end.
It almost felt like he was spiraling out of control, into a black abyss, flashes of his enemies, flashes of the water torture, flashes of their sweaty bodies on him…
“Fuck,” Luke roared, grabbing his hair and standing up.
“Dr. Drake, I don’t think this is a good idea. Maybe I should leave,” Molly said.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Luke yelled, breathing heavily and pacing the room. “Just give me a goddamn second. I need to catch my breath.”
“Luke, remember what we talked about when you start to feel an anxiety attack coming along,” Dr. Drake instructed. “Take deep breaths, try to focus on something positive. Are you picturing Winnie?”
With his head in his hand, Luke steadied his breath and thought of Winnie spinning around the living room this morning in her princess dress he got her the other day. The image of his beautiful daughter started to calm his heart, and his throat eased its tightness.
“Good, Luke. Are you feeling better?”
“Sure.” Luke held onto a bookshelf that lined the back of Dr. Drake’s office. “I just want to get this over with.”
“Luke, you don’t have to tell me.”
“You want me to,” Luke said with irritation. “We’ve been off, and I know it’s because you’re waiting for me to tell you what happened.”
Molly bit her lip and then looked at Dr. Drake. “It’s actually because of what Dr. Drake said.”
“What do you mean?” Dr. Drake asked.
Luke walked closer to the couch he shared with Molly, but didn’t sit down; instead, he rested his hands on the back behind Molly, waiting to hear what she meant.
Visibly, Molly was nervous as she spoke, her hands twisting in her lap. “Well, when I came here for our first session, you questioned our sex life and then our connection. We had the possible thought that Luke and I weren’t connected emotionally. I started to think about it, and the more I thought about it, the more I became paranoid. Whenever I tried to talk to Luke about it, we always wound up having sex. Our words sank in deep, and I worried that all these years we were in a shallow relationship.”
“Did you really think that?” Luke asked, a furrow in his brow.
“Maybe.” Embarrassment washed over her. “But after our conversation the other night, I know it’s not true. We’ve had some bumps, but you know more about me than anyone. You know how to tell me just the right thing to make me smile, you can read when I’m in a bad mood or when I just need a hug. You get me, Luke.”
Luke rounded the sofa and sat down next to Molly, pulling her hands into his. “How could you ever doubt that, Molly? You’re the reason why I made it through that hell hole. Your face, your spirit, your heart. You’re the only reason I survived. We are so much more than amazing sex.” Molly’s face lit up with a smile. “We’re each other’s soul mates, our other halves. We complete each other, mind, body and soul. You’ve got to know that, babe.”
“I do,” Molly nodded, a tear running down her cheek.
Lightly, Luke pressed a whisper of a kiss against her lips. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you,” she sniffed. Shaking her head, she added, “I don’t need to know, Luke. I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter that much. Unless it’s going to be huge weight off your shoulders, I don’t want to know. I’m just happy that you’re here with me, living in the present.”
Dr. Drake cut in. “Molly, that’s very commendable of you to say, and a nice offering to Luke, but if you say that, you have to mean it. You can’t bring up the fact that he’s never told you later on down the road. If you truly don’t want to know, then you have to carry that decision with you until your dying day. Are you prepared to do that?”
Molly’s eyes flashed to Luke’s. They were brilliantly blue and watery from her tears. Her lips pressed together and she nodded her head. “I can live with that decision, because I know that whatever he went through, he went through to protect our country, to protect me and our daughter.”
“It was all for you,” Luke gripped her cheeks and pressed his forehead against hers. “Everything I do is for you, Molly.”
“Then I don’t need to know. I don’t want to know.”
“Are you one hundred percent sure?” Dr. Drake asked, protecting Luke’s story.
Molly pressed her lips against Luke’s, her forehead still resting on his. Without looking at Dr. Drake and maintaining eye contact with Luke, she said, “I am one hundred percent sure. Luke is our protector; we are going to keep it that way. Keep your story, Luke, bury it with the past, and let’s move forward.”
Disbelief washed over him. He would tell Molly if she really wanted to know, he would go into gory detail about the way they treated him, but he would take the pardon over the truth any day. It saved him the anxiety of reliving the pain, and it saved him the embarrassment of wondering what she was truly thinking when he told her the truth.
Later that night, after they said good bye to Dr. Drake and made arrangements for their next couple of appointments, they stopped by the local pizza shop, grabbed a pizza, and went home to their daughter.
“Pizz, pizz!” Winnie shouted, running around.
“Do you want to have a picnic in the living room?” Molly asked, squatting down to speak to their daughter.
“Yes!” She put her fist in the air.
Molly kissed the top of Winnie’s erratic blonde curls and then stood up. “Grab the tarp; we’re going to need it.”
Luke laughed and then took off toward the hallway closet, while Molly set up dinner in the kitchen. The closet was right past Winnie’s room; Luke paused and looked into his daughter’s room full of pink. She had at least two dozen stuffed animals, three tea sets, and a chest full of dress up for every occasion. She was spoiled, but Luke was okay with it because she was born without a father and for the first part of her life her mother was mentally ill. She needed extra loving to make up for the lack of parents her first year. Luke would continue to make it up to her until he left this earth.
Grabbing the tarp out of the closest, he went back to the living room, where he saw Winnie walking out of the kitchen, walking very steady with her sippy cup in her hand and Molly behind her holding a tray of pizza and drinks for her and Luke.
There they were, his two girls he would live and die for. His life was a snapshot of perfection. If he had to, he would suffer through those horrible years being held captive all over again if he could still come back to his beautiful blondes.
Life had its ups and downs and it was never going to be easy for him, given his past, but he would be damned if he would let it rule his life.
**Austin**
(Because you need to be in his head just once)
“Let me get that door for you, dear,” Austin said, jokingly. They spent last night buying every rag magazine they could find with their picture in it. They spent hours cutting out their “couples” pictures and putting them together in an album, in between Leonard screaming his head off for some damn formula.
“Thank you, snookums,” Connor winked at Austin.
Austin froze in place. “Dude, the wink is too much.”
“I thought the wink was fitting,” Connor countered.
They walked up to the elevator bank and pushed the up button.
“The wink implies that you are actually serious.”
“Actually, in modern day body language, a wink can be p
erceived as a joke.”
“Modern day body language? What the fuck are you doing during the day when I’m off making the big bucks? Less Martha Stewart, man, and more ESPN.”
“Martha is too classy to talk about winking. She’s more into finding the perfect combination between wildflowers, leafy greens, and twigs. You want a sprig here and there, nothing too overpowering.”
“Dude, I’m seconds from punching you in the throat, and you know I don’t want to do that. I really don’t want to punch you, but when you say things like that, you force me to close my fist and cock back.”
Connor held up his hand and shrugged his shoulder. “Just remember who helped you with the double sided tape last night.”
Remembering last night, Austin thought about their scrapbook making skills. Austin got caught up in the tape, not knowing what the hell was happening with both ends, when Connor assisted him and pointed out that it was sticky on both sides, perfect for matting a photo. They spent the rest of the night, matting their photos and listening to Led Zeppelin, so they had a little bit of manly juice flowing in their space.
“I want to double stick tape everything. Think we can double stick tape Leonard to the wall?”
The horrified look on Connor’s face led Austin to believe that was a no.
“Are you insane?”
“Erase that comment; I got too excited. I just fucking love double stick tape!”
The elevator doors opened up to the baby wing. Last time they were here, they were fighting for their son, and they had just lost Lucy. The wing didn’t hold very good memories, but this time, it would be different.
They had a checkup with Dr. Cuevas and they couldn’t wait to see what she had to say about their new found relationship.
“Austin Lee and Connor Cartwright to see Dr. Cuevas,” Connor said to one of the nurses at the nurses’ station.
“Yes, right this way. She’s in her office.”
Tropical fish were scattered across her blue scrubs. Austin wondered if he was ever a nurse, what kind of scrubs he would wear. If he was a woman, probably some cat collage, just because he thought cat ladies were the kinkiest. If he kept the penis in his pants, he would go with superheroes, for obvious reasons.
“Stop staring at her ass,” Connor whispered from the side of his mouth.
“You jealous, sweet cheeks? You know your ass has claimed my heart.” Austin spoke loud enough for the nurse to hear.
Before she opened the door for them, she said, “I really think it’s great what you two are doing, and you really make a cute couple.”
“Aw, gee, thanks,” Austin said, wrapping his arm around Connor and placing a kiss on his cheek. Connor instantly backed away, making sure not to slam Leonard’s car seat into the wall.
The nurse giggled and walked away, while Connor frantically scrubbed his cheek with his long-sleeved shirt.
“Scrub a little harder, you almost have the cooties off,” Austin said sarcastically.
“What the fuck was that? We don’t kiss.”
Austin wiggled his eyebrows. “Not yet.”
“We need women, now.” Connor knocked on Dr. Cuevas’ door and then entered when she told them to.
The beautiful Spanish woman stood at her desk when they both walked in, her hands folded in front of her, a bright smile on her face.
“Mr. Lee, Mr. Cartwright, I’m so please to see you. How is little Leonard?”
Connor held up the car seat for Dr. Cuevas to see. “He’s doing great. Hitting all his milestones, shitting up a storm, and eating what seems like a cow a day…in formula form.”
“So, he’s healthy, that’s great to hear,” Dr. Cuevas chuckled. “Please sit.” She gestured to the chairs. “Tell me how it’s been living together.”
“Interesting,” Connor answered. “It took us a little bit to get into a routine, but now it seems like clockwork.”
“Are you sharing the responsibilities?” She looked right at Austin.
He wanted to answer, “Yes, you bitch” but he tried the more appropriate approach. “Yes, we switch every other night when it comes to feedings and diaper changes. When I get home, I give Connor a break from the boy, and you will be happy to know that my body has adjusted to his unique style of cooking.”
“Unique?”
Connor rolled his eyes. “He swears I was trying to poison him at first.”
Austin cut Connor off and looked Dr. Cuevas dead in the eyes. “I never shit so much in my life as from his food; I thought he was slipping me something.”
“Yeah, it’s called fiber.”
Austin nodded in agreement. “Yes, come to find out, I was lacking in the fiber department.”
“That’s…good to know,” Dr. Cuevas smiled. “You two look like you’re getting along nicely. I’m kind of surprised.”
“It took some time, but we figured it out,” Connor the kiss-ass said.
“We made you something.” I pulled out our album and handed it to Dr. Cuevas.
Hesitantly, she opened it up, and then started laughing as she flipped through page after page of magazines claiming them to be the next biggest gay couple to hit the celebrity circuit since Ellen and Portia.
“You see, Dr. Cuevas, we love Leonard so much that we would do anything for him, including getting close enough to each other that people assumed we were a couple.”
“I’m impressed,” she blinked her eyes, tears from laughing clouding her vision. “You two have really come a long way. How are you dealing with Lucy’s death?”
The mood in the room drastically changed at the mention of Lucy’s name. There wasn’t a day that went by that they didn’t think about Lucy, her sweet smile, smart mouth, and loving persona.
“We’re handling it better together,” Connor answered.
“It’s hard, knowing Lucy never got to meet him, but we keep pictures of her around the apartment, and we tell him about her all the time. It’s kind of cathartic in a way.”
“I can see that,” Dr. Cuevas nodded her head. “I have to admit, you two have blown me away. You haven’t fought since you got in here. Normally, you would be at each other’s throats.”
Wasn’t that the truth? A few months ago, Austin would be fake gagging by now, being stuck in a room with Connor for this long, but things changed. Austin grew to depend on Connor in a weird way that he never thought was possible.
“It’s impossible to fight with each other when you’re all each other has. We have to take care of another human, and I have to trust that Connor has the same mindset as I do. We got along for Leonard and it’s developed into a friendship.”
Connor’s face was stunned as he looked at Austin. “Damn, man. Look at you, all grown up and saying nice things about me.”
“Don’t push your luck, dickwad. You might be my friend, but I can still shove my foot up your ass.”
Connor batted his eyelashes at Austin. “Would you say ‘best friend’?”
“Get over yourself.” Uncomfortable, Austin shifted in his chair.
“I think he is your best friend,” Dr. Cuevas added, teasing Austin.
“Just say it…I’m your bestie.”
“Never,” Austin crossed his arms over his chest.
If he had to admit it, Connor, without a doubt, was his best friend. He never imagined saying that, but with everything they’d been through, it wasn’t even a question. Connor was his best friend.
“It’s okay; you don’t have to say it. I can see it in your eyes.” Connor’s voice grew serious. “Don’t worry, man. You’re my best friend too.”
Austin snapped his head to see if Connor was kidding, but when he noticed his face was dead serious, he asked, “Really?”
“Really.”
“Bro hug?” Austin asked, holding his arms out.
“Why the hell not? You’ve already kissed me today.”
They threw their arms around each other and patted their backs, filling the room with manly, yet slightly girly, affection.
&
nbsp; “What have I created?” Dr. Cuevas laughed, shaking her head at the both of them.
They were just a couple of dudes, raising a little boy named Leonard in the city of Atlanta. It was odd, but it worked for them, and that was all that mattered.
**Patty**
Patty was miserable. Absolutely miserable. She hadn’t talked to Jane at work in a couple of days, and Jane had no clue why. Albert was being a bitch to her, not being very hospitable, and always complaining about having to help out the crazy hormonal females in his life. She hadn’t spoken to Marc in days, and her heart hurt tremendously from not having him around.
It was Saturday morning and Albert was dragging her to The Ivy in Buckhead for brunch. He refused to spend “his” Saturday morning trapped in his house, nursing her “poor attitude.” After multiple cheap shots and masterfully crafted, yet insulting comments from Albert, Patty was starting to believe that she might have been in the wrong.
“Winchester, party of five,” Albert said to the hostess, who nodded and led them back to the patio with menus and silverware tucked under her arm.
“Party of five?” Patty hissed, wondering who they were going to be dining with.
They sat down, Albert ignoring her the whole time while ordering a bottomless Mimosa. “Keep them coming, sweetheart.”
“And for you, ma’am?” The hostess asked, being nice enough to get their drinks started.
Not giving her a chance to answer, Albert said, “She will be indulging in the mimosas as well.”
Once the hostess left, Patty pulled down Albert’s menu and said, “Party of five? Who else is joining us?”
“Calm down, bridezilla. The vein in your neck is about to pop.”
“What? No, it’s not.” Patty sat back in her chair and rubbed her neck.
“Just order and don’t worry about anything. I know what I’m doing.”
She wasn’t even hungry, but she perused the menu, trying to forget what Albert had planned for her today.
“Hey Alby, Patty, I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Molly said, taking a seat next to Albert.