“I will not deny the severity of our plight,” he said. “The path of war is not one to be taken lightly. I would never enter into any unnecessary arrangement or willingly partake in needless devastation. However, this is something that has been foreseen since Decimus was brought into the family three centuries ago. I knew even then that this time would come.”
“Three centuries ago? How old are you?”
He laughed, the sound light and whimsical. “Ask me that question if we survive this folly, and I will gladly tell you my tale.”
“What was he like back then?”
“Much the same as he is now, egocentric and self-centered. It is who he is, and who he will always be. More’s the pity we did not adopt better judgment when bringing him into our fold.”
“Can you stop him?” I tried to keep the hope from my voice but failed.
“Perhaps, although it is not a certainty.” He glanced in my direction. “My presence here has commenced future events. From this moment forward, we are racing against the clock.”
“How do you know that?”
“Jonathan is gifted with precognition. While he cannot see all the events that will transpire in the future, he has foretold of what is sure to come. That is why there is hope to cling to. The outcome has not been decided or set in stone. Too many variables are not cemented to make it so.”
“If we don’t fight him,” I asked, terrified of his answer, “what will happen?”
“As it pertains to you directly?” When I nodded he said, “He will be relentless until his retribution is absolute.”
“And everyone else?”
“He will seek to become more powerful at their expense. Even now, his lust for domination knows no limit.”
“What do you want me to do?”
He stopped, bringing us face to face. “Seek out others of your kind and warn them of the potential outcome this could bring if we delay and do nothing. Reach out to them along with your loup-garou and make them see why this must happen. Tell them le prince will come for their children and turn them into slaves. He’s captivated by their power, and he wants to harness it for himself.”
“Tell me you don’t mean that. Tell me he’s not planning to do those things.” My stomach churned in revulsion and disgust.
“That is exactly what he will do. He already controls one-half of the most powerful creatures in the world. He won’t rest until all the others kneel before him.”
I shuddered when the wolf inside me snarled in fury. I forced myself to remain calm, taking deep breaths before trying to speak.
“And if we can get them to listen? If we can convince others to come forward and fight? Then what?”
He smiled, but the gesture didn’t put me at ease. His expression sent chills down my spine.
“Then you will help me amass an army, because we are going to war.”
Chapter 25—Embracing Within
War—a struggle or competition between opposing forces for a particular end.
A particular end.
Those three words terrified me in more ways than I wanted to think about. Now it wasn’t an inevitability, it was a reality. Things had been set into motion, and there was no turning back.
Caleb would ascend to alpha in less than a week. Afterward, we would travel to different places in an effort to bolster support from neighboring packs. Quinn, Jonathan, Mom, Dad, and Trent would travel as well, in an effort to do the same in vampire circles.
But there was something else I needed to do, something that couldn’t wait. I recalled the vivid dream of John’s grandmother.
You will come see me when you are ready, she had said.
Now I knew exactly what she meant. I had to go back, I had to see if she really would be there waiting.
I toyed with the necklace Caleb insisted I wear. He had worried the change would come soon, and he didn’t want me to lose my engagement ring. The jewelry dangled between my breasts on a long gold chain, ever present but out of sight. I stared at the house, seeing it perfectly even after the sun had dipped below the horizon. It was still difficult to wrap my head around. I perceived everything differently—scents, objects, even people.
Trent’s bright blond hair caught my attention as he came around the side of the house. He was walking with his head down, eyes carefully averted. I dropped the thick chain around my neck and rose to my feet, waiting and watching as he walked over in lithe movements. I asked to speak with him privately before he left with Quinn. He had reluctantly agreed, and now that the time had arrived, I felt uneasy and nervous.
We didn’t speak at first, falling side-by-side as we walked along. I realized my improved vision had one flaw—the night didn’t do him the justice it once had. The darkness surrounding the vibrancy of his hair and eyes was no longer there.
He didn’t look at me as he spoke, sliding his hands into the pockets of his expensive slacks, focusing on the ground. “We don’t have to do this, Emma.”
“I do,” I disagreed, lifting my head and staring at the sky above. The moon was out, the orb glowing brighter than the blanket surrounding it.
“No you don’t. I already know what you want to say.”
“Then let me say it. I’m sorry. For having you come here, for everything that’s happened—”
“It’s all over and done,” he said thickly. “You don’t have to validate me any longer.”
We lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, treading along together. I knew what I needed to say, but the words wouldn’t come out. Each time I tried to speak I caught myself, stopping short. It took several minutes to gather my courage and jump.
I cleared my throat to make sure the words would come out strong instead of muffled. “I spoke to Jonathan.” Trent stopped moving, his brilliant aqua eyes finally meeting mine. “He said—”
Trent interrupted me. “If it’s in regard to me or my future, I don’t want to know.”
“You need to know—”
“I don’t want to know,” he snarled each word, his eyes narrowing in warning. He gazed deeply into my eyes and repeated himself to make his point. “I don’t want to know, Emma.”
“Tough,” I snapped, embracing the newfound temper growing inside me. He had to know, and he had to hear it from me. “There is someone out there for you, someone you will love and who will love you in return, and she’s not me.”
“I’m not listening to this.” He turned around, intent on returning to the house.
“You will listen,” I said evenly, reaching for his arm, and forced him to turn around. He yanked his arm free but stood motionless. “I’m exhausted by all of this, and the only reason I’ve let it go on for so long is because of the guilt that eats away at me. But now I know you’re going to be fine, and you’re going to be happy.”
“Jonathan’s visions are not set in stone. He would have told you that himself.” Trent rose to his full height, forcing me to lift my chin to meet his gaze. “It won’t happen if I don’t want it to happen. I know who and what I want. You can’t change that.”
I drew in a deep breath, speaking quietly to maintain control. “I used to wonder why you wanted me so badly. I’d sit in my bedroom at night and ask myself, why me? What makes me so special? And I’ve asked you too, several times. Even then you never allowed yourself to be completely open with me, always keeping a safe distance. And I think I’ve finally figured it out. This doesn’t have anything to do with me at all—it’s you.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, taking a shaky breath, and looked into his impassive face.
“I think you wanted me because I belonged to someone else, and because of that, there was never any real danger to you. Even though I tried to keep my feelings about Caleb hidden, you always knew what I wanted. You’ve always been too afraid to step free of the self imposed distance you keep with people. And I was the perfect person to idealize because, well, you could never really have me.”
“Don’t tell me how I feel.” His eyes flared in fury a
nd his lyrical voice deepened in anger. “You have no idea.”
“You’re right, I don’t.” I shrugged. “I do love you, Trent, and a part of me always will. But I’m done feeling guilty about something I can’t change. Especially now. Derek once asked me if I believed in fate. At the time I wasn’t sure, but now I know I do. Your destiny is out there—she is out there. The question is, will you let her pass you by?”
“You shouldn’t put faith in someone who will see a different vision of the same thing you just asked about. Their perception varies all the time because situations and decisions change.” He turned and started walking toward the house.
“And you shouldn’t be so quick to discredit him,” I countered and hurried to catch up with him.
“Listen to me.” Trent spun around, coming to a sudden stop, and stepped in front of me. “I don’t want to know. Understand? Don’t tell me anymore. I don’t want to hear it, or to think about it. Don’t bring this news to me so that you can feel better about how things are.”
“Is that what you think?” I questioned, slightly hurt by the accusation. He didn’t answer, jaw taut, so I asked, “Do you really believe I wouldn’t want you to be happy?”
“I know you want your fiancé to be happy,” he retorted. “And I also know you’re willing to do anything to see that happen. Whatever it takes is whatever you’ll do.”
“All right, just stop,” I snarled, barely containing the cloud of red that swarmed my vision.
“I bet he’s overjoyed that you’re finally doing this and making a clean break from me. Wait. I bet he told you to do it. That’s it, isn’t it? Typical! He was always such a sod.” Trent laughed and the sound settled like acid in my stomach, fueling my anger exponentially.
“Stop.” I growled, the sound coming from deep inside my chest. I unwittingly stepped forward. I knew what he was playing at, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t as good at deflecting intentional jabs as I once was. Things were strangely raw now, fury easily stirred to life.
He continued as if he didn’t hear me. “I always knew he was threatened by me, but this is priceless! And to think he honestly believes he’s ready to ascend to alpha—that’s rich. I can just see him now. Or maybe he’ll have you do that for him as well.”
“Stop it!” My voice deepened and I took in a deep breath and tried to remain calm, losing my grip in diminutive but insistent degrees.
“What’s the matter, Emma? Does the truth bother you? You always hated that, didn’t you? That the truth oftentimes hurts? Well, I have a newsflash for you. It’s never going to change or get any easier.” His lip lifted in a chauvinistic sneer. “I suggest you get used to it. I have.”
“I said stop!” I snarled as my body started to quake. The control I had of the situation faded into the background, overshadowed by something else.
“Stop what? I thought we were sharing here? Or can you only dish it out? That’s hardly fair, is it? Your wolf boy might allow that kind of thing, but I’m not him. Wait, you know that already, don’t you? I never figured you to be a hypocrite, Emma. Caleb perhaps, but not you.”
The ruddy mist marring my vision spread, humming through my body and burning along the nerve pathways, antagonizing the muscles under my skin. I continued growling at him but managed to step back, eyes remaining locked on his face. Red slipped over his features. Scarlet soaked through everything, covering all I could see. I thrust my hands into my stomach, aware of a fire building inside, the violent spasms in my abdomen churning and increasing.
Trent’s expression changed, his face going smooth and eyes filling with concern. “Emma?”
I tried to talk but was unable to formulate words. My brain slipped into a strange pattern, allowing emotions rather than logic to dictate my thinking. I was losing the battle, and the other part of me was gaining control, preparing to fully reveal her presence.
I felt her rushing forward, ready to take over.
Stop, I screamed in my mind, losing myself to the pain that felt as if it were tearing my insides apart. A burst of sheer agony brought me to my knees. Wispy, white-hot flames sizzled through my organs and bones. I crouched over, hands thrust forward to catch myself before I collapsed into the hard grass.
“Stop,” I said aloud, the word came out garbled and distorted, more of an alarmed yelp.
“Emma!” Trent’s voice was completely panicked in my mind.
I didn’t see his hands, but I felt him grasp my shoulders. The contact was as painful as the building heat in my gut. I reacted impulsively, reaching for the energy I needed to push him away to safety. The wolf was coming, whether I wanted her to or not. I couldn’t stop the transformation this time. I was both confused and afraid, verging on the brink of being completely terrified.
I tried to push the energy outward and it flared inside instead. A scream escaped as fire detonated inside my body, one perfect explosion of liquid combustion. It was gone as quickly as it arrived. The unrelenting torture that racked my body evaporated, leaving me mercifully pain free. I blinked and shook my head in grateful relief, hearing myself snort instead of sigh.
Loud footsteps pounded against the earth, beating heavily inside my ears, causing the ground to shake. I stared at my surroundings in confusion. I was standing, but everything was taller. I lifted my gaze and saw Trent staring at me in awe.
“Emma!” Caleb’s deep bellow sent prickles down my spine, causing the hair on my body to stand on end.
“She’s here.” Trent turned from me, in the direction of Caleb’s booming approach.
“What the hell is going on?” Caleb demanded. “What did you...” His voice trailed off and he stopped jogging, stopping several feet away. His blue eyes went wide as his jaw went slack and his lips parted slightly.
“I don’t know what happened,” Trent answered lamely. “We were arguing and she just... Actually, I don’t know what she did.”
“Emma?” Caleb murmured my name and dropped to his knee, bringing his face level with mine. He seemed confused at first, watching me carefully. His nose flared as if he had to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. “It’s all right, beautiful. Come here.”
My legs moved differently—no, my arms did. I stopped, lifting one leg and then the other. Raising my head, I stared at Caleb again. I tried to talk and a strange, high-pitched whimper resounded in my ears.
“It’s okay. Don’t be afraid.” he motioned me forward with outstretched arms. His thick dark brows creased, surrounding deep blue eyes that were brimming with concern and sympathy.
I took tentative steps on steady, yet unfamiliar, limbs. I was aware of a brand new balance and strength that flowed through my muscles, each step more profound than the one preceding it. It was strange but empowering at the same time.
“I thought your kind actually shifted forms.” Trent spoke quietly, his earlier animosity gone.
Caleb frowned at him as I neared, keeping his voice quiet and unthreatening. “We do. She’s going to be in quite a bit of pain when she shifts back. The first time is usually slow and painful. I don’t know how she shifted so quickly. I should have made sure she changed sooner to avoid this. You shouldn’t have set her off.”
“But she didn’t shift.”
“Of course she did, look at her.” Caleb didn’t look away from me as he spoke, his hands urging me closer. When I got within reach, he wrapped his fingers into the hair on my neck and tugged me to him. It felt amazing as individual hairs fell back in place as he moved his hand, stroking me in a petting calming motion.
“No, she didn’t. She just”—Trent lifted his hands in frustration, moving them outward—“poofed!”
“What do you mean, poofed?” Caleb didn’t stop running his fingers along my body. I moved closer, listening to his soothing voice and resting my head on his knee, sighing contentedly.
“I mean she was there one second and gone the next. She didn’t shift, she just changed.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Where
are her clothes?” Trent snapped. “When you change, your clothes don’t change with you, do they?”
Caleb’s fingers stilled and his body shifted slightly, his leg flexing under my head as he glanced around. He lowered his hands to my head again, fingers moving around my neck until he found the chain he had insisted I wear. He turned the necklace around, searching for and locating the ring threaded onto it. Releasing the jewelry, he resumed the soothing motions created by his fingers in my fur.
“Why am I not surprised?” Caleb murmured against my ear. “You’ve never been like anyone I’ve met before. Of course this wouldn’t be any different.”
“It must be her lineage. I didn’t think it would be the same for your kind, but I saw it myself. She manipulated the energy around herself and changed.” Trent sounded amazed and intrigued.
Caleb spoke quietly, voice low as he brushed his fingers along my face. “I’ve never encountered someone with white fur before. When we shift, we retain our natural hair color.”
“That could be the result of her magic too,” Trent offered.
“You can go inside,” Caleb said. “I have her now. Tell everyone not to wait up for us. We’ll be awhile.”
“I’m not your private messenger.” Trent’s calmness faded as his animosity returned.
I felt Caleb shrug. “Have it your way, stay if you want. This isn’t about us, and I’m not arguing with you. Emma and I won’t be here long anyway.” Caleb lowered his face and whispered into my ear, sending prickles along the sensitive nerve endings inside. “You’re past the hard part. Now it’s time to show you how beautiful our life together is meant to be. Run with me, Emma. Run with me.”
A primitive surge shot through me, and I bolted free of his arms, speeding away and running in the direction of the trees. My body didn’t need time to adjust or find that delicate balance. My paws gripped the earth as claws dug in, limbs moving effortlessly and smooth. The wolf took over and I let her, losing myself in the sensation of flying across the ground.