CHAPTER XI
THE HUMOURS OF THE SPA
And now began that famous month--it lasted very little more--when theonce godly town of Lynn was delivered over to the devil and all hiscrew. We who are natives of the place speak of that time and themisfortunes which followed with reluctance; we would fain forget thatit ever fell upon us. To begin with, the place was full of people.They came from all the country round; not only did the gentlefolkcrowd into the town and the clergy from the cathedral towns and thecolleges, but there were also their servants, hulking footmen, pertlady's maids, with the people who flock after them, creatures morewomen than men; the hairdressers, barbers, milliners, dressmakers, andthe creatures who deal in things which a fashionable woman cannot dowithout, those who provide the powder, patches, cosmetics, _eau deChypre_, and washes for the complexion, the teeth, the hands, andthe face; the jewellers and those who deal in gold and silverornaments; the sellers of lace, ribbons, gloves, fans, and embroideryof all kinds. Our shops, humble enough to look upon from the outside,became treasure houses when one entered; and I verily believe that theladies of the spa took greater pleasure in turning over the thingshidden away behind the shop windows, and not exposed to the vulgargaze, than in any of the entertainments offered them.
Every other house in Mercer Street and Chequer Row was converted intoa shop for the sale of finery; at the door of each stood the shopmanor the shopwoman, all civility and assurance, inviting an entrance."Madam," said one, "I have this day received by the London waggon aconsignment of silks which it would do you good only to see and tofeel. Enter, madam; the mere sight is better for the vapours than allthe waters of the pump room. Look at these silks before they are allsold. John, the newly arrived silks for their ladyships," and so on,all along the streets while the ladies walked slowly over the roughpaving stones, followed by their footmen with their long sticks, andtheir insolent bearing. Indeed, I know not which more attracted thecuriosity of the countrywomen--the fine ladies or the fine footmen.These gallant creatures, the footmen with their worsted epaulettes andtheir brave liveries, did not venture into the streets by theriverside--Pudding Lane, Common Stath Lane, or the like--the resort ofthe sailors, where the reception of those who did venture was warmerand less polite than they expected.
For the gentlemen there were the taverns; every house round themarket-place became a tavern, where an ordinary was held at twelve.
And the gentlemen sat drinking all the afternoon. Nay, they began inthe morning making breakfast of a pint of Canary with a pennyworth ofbread, a slice of cheese, and after the meal a penny roll of tobacco.These were the gentlemen belonging to the country families. Theattractions of the spa to them were the tavern, the cockpit, the fieldwhere they raced their horses, the badger baiting, and sport of allthese kinds that can be obtained in the spring and summer, when thereis no shooting of starlings in the reeds of marshland, and the decoyof ducks, for which this country is famous.
Rooms had to be found for the servants; a profligate and deboshed crewthey were, of whose manners it may be said that they were insolent,and of their morals, that they had none. Two or three of them,however, getting a drubbing from our sailors, the rest went in someterror.
It was as if the birds of the air had carried the news of this greatdiscovery north and south, east and west, so that not only was a greatmultitude attracted to the place in search of health and pleasure, butalso another multitude of those who came to supply every kind of want,real or imaginary. A thousand wants were invented, especially for theladies, so that whereas many of the damsels from quiet country houseshad been content with homespun, linsey woolsey, or, at best, withsarcenet, a few ribbons for their straw hats, and thread for theirgloves, now found themselves unable to appear abroad except with headsmade up on wires and round rolls, their hair powdered and pinned tolarge puff caps, with gowns of silk, flounced sleeves, and a lacedtippet. And when they went home they were no longer contented with thethings of their own making, the cordials of ginger, cherries, and soforth, the distilled waters, the home-brewed ale, the small beer, thewines made with raspberries, currants and blackberries. They murmuredafter tea and coffee, the wine of Lisbon and Canary, the rosolio andthe ratafia, the macaroons, the chocolate, the perfumes, and the manygauds of the dressing-table. And they scorned the honest red and brownof cheek and hands that cared nothing for the sun, as if they would bemore beautiful in the eyes of their lovers by having cheeks of a palewhite with a smudge of paint, and hands as white as if just out of bedand a long illness.
The way of the company was as follows:
They met at the pump room about ten; they called for the water; theyexchanged the latest scandal; they talked about dress; they bemoanedtheir losses at cards; they then walked off to morning prayers,chiefly at St. Nicholas's, where, as you have heard, Mr. BenjaminPurdon read them with honeyed words and rolling voice. From the churchthey repaired to a confectioner's called Jonathan's--I know notwhy--where they all devoured a certain cake made expressly for them;from the confectioner's some went to the draper, the milliner, or thehaberdasher; some to the long room, where there were generally publicbreakfasts of tea, chocolate, and coffee; a few, but these were mostlymen, went to the bookseller's, where, for half-a-crown a month, theycould read all day long and what they pleased. The bookseller camefrom Norwich, and when the season ended went back to Norwich. Dinnerwas served at twelve or one. At five o'clock or thereabouts thecompany began to arrive at the gardens and the long room, where, withmusic, cards, conversation, and walking among the coloured lamps, theevening was quickly spent. Twice a week there was an assembly fordancing, when refreshments were provided at the cost of the gentlemen.
For the gentlemen there were also the coffee houses, of which two atleast sprang into existence. One laid down twopence on entering, andcould call for a dish of tea, a cup of coffee, or one of chocolate. Inone of them were found the clergy, the lawyers, and the justices ofthe peace; they settled the affairs of the nation and decided thecharacters of the ministers. In the other were those who affected tobe beaux and wits. Among the latter set one found Sam Semple, now aperson of great authority, as the secretary of Lord Fylingdale and theauthor of a book of verse. He pretended to be an arbiter. "Sir," hewould say, "by your leave. The case is quite otherwise. The matter waslately discussed at Will's. A certain distinguished poet, who shall benameless, whose opinion carries weight even in that august assemblage,was of opinion that...." And so forth, with an air of profound wisdom.As regards wit in conversation, it consists, I believe, in findingdifferent ways, all unexpected, of saying: "You are a fool. You are anass. You are a jackanapes. You are an ignorant clown. You are alow-born upstart." This kind of wit was cultivated with some successat first, but as it was not always relished by those to whom it wasdirected, it led to the pulling of noses and the discharge of coffeeor tea in the face of the ingenious author of the unexpected epigram.So that its practice languished and presently died out altogether.
The most astonishing change, however, was in the market-place. Here,instead of one market day in the week, there was a market day all theweek long. The stalls were never removed; every day the country peoplecrowded into the town--some riding, some walking, some in boats, somein barges, bringing poultry, ducks, eggs, butter, cream, milk, cheese,honey, lettuce for sallet, and everything that a farm, a dairy, and astillroom can provide. Some sat on upturned baskets, their waresspread out before them; some stood at stalls with white hangings tokeep off the sun; the fine ladies went about among them chaffering andbargaining, their maids following with baskets. It was a pretty sight,and to my mind the rustic damsels, for good looks, got the better ofthe fine ladies and their maids. Many of the beaux and young bloodswere of the same opinion, apparently, for they, too, went round amongthe stalls, with compliments not doubtful, and talk more free thanpolite, chucking the girls under the chin and pinching their cheeks.To be sure these freedoms do a body no harm, and I believe our Norfolkgirls can look after themselves as well as any.
And
every day outside the stalls there assembled such a motley crowdas had never before been seen in Lynn. It was a perpetual fair, atwhich you could buy anything. Gipsies went about leading horses forsale, the cheap Jack stood on the footboard of his cart and bawled hiswares; the rogue stood up, with voice and cheeks of brass, and offeredhis caps, knives, scissors, cups and saucers, frying pans, saucepans,kettles, every morning. His store could never be exhausted; he took aquarter of what he asked; and he went on day after day. Nor must weforget the travelling quack, the learned doctor in a huge wig andblack velvet; as like to Dr. Worship himself as one pea is likeanother. He had his stage and his tumbling clown, who twisted himselfupon the tight-rope, turned somersaults, walked on his head, grinnedand made mouths and was as merry a rogue as his master was grave.After the Tom Fool had collected a crowd and made them merry, thedoctor advanced, his face full of wisdom, and explained that he cameamong them newly arrived from Persia, that land famous for its learnedphysicians; that he was not an ordinary physician, seeking to makemoney by his science; that, on the other hand, what he offered wasgiven, rather than sold, the charge made being barely sufficient topay for the costly ingredients used in the making of these sovereignremedies. He had his pills and his draughts; his balsams and hiselectuary; he had his plaster against rheumatism; his famous _PulvisCatharticus_ against fever; his _Carduus Benedictus_ against ague;and, in a word, his infallible remedies against all the ills to whichflesh is liable. So he played his part, not every day, but often, forthe crowd in the market-place changed continually, and every changebrought him new patients.
Or there was the tooth drawer. You knew him by the string of teethwhich hung round his neck like a string of pearls over the neck of alady or a collar of SS. round the neck of the worshipful the mayor. Hepulled teeth at half a crown each, and if that was too much, at ashilling. Not only did he bawl his calling among the crowd, but hewent through the streets from house to house asking if his serviceswere wanted.
The town crier added to the noise and the animation of the scene.Almost every day he had something to bawl. He was known by his dressand his bell. He wore a green coat with brass buttons; a broad lacedhat, he had a broad badge with the arms of the town upon his arm; inone hand he carried a staff and in the other his big bell. And beingby nature endowed with a loud voice, and a good opinion of himself, hemagnified his office by ringing more loudly and longer than wasnecessary, by repeating his "O yes! O yes! O yes!" at the end as wellas the beginning of his announcement, and by proclaiming this twiceover.
Towards the hour of noon, when every tavern had its ordinary, and thesausages and black puddings were hissing in the cooks' stalls, therearose a fragrance--call it an incense of gratitude--which pleasantlyengaged the senses. It was a hogo of frying fish, chops, steaks,sausages, bacon, ham and onions; it included the smell of gosling andduckling and chicken, roasted rabbit fricasseed; of roast pork, lamb,mutton, and beef; of baked pies--all kinds of pies--custards, cheesecakes, dumplings, hasty pudding. Then the feet of those who couldafford it turned to the tavern; those who could not pay the ordinaryat two shillings, or that at one shilling, dived into the cellar,where they could dine for sixpence, or stood about the stalls wherethey fried the sausages; those who brought their dinner with them saton their baskets and devoured their food, or bought of the streetcriers who now went up and down ringing bells and crying:
Hot black puddings, hot, Smoking hot, Just come out of the pot.
or,
Here, dainty brave cheese cakes, Come, buy 'em of me; Two for twopence, One for a penny; Come along, customers, if you'll buy any.
It pleased me to recall the humours of the town at that time. Exceptfor the rows of booths, one would have thought it Stourbridge Fair atCambridge, which once I saw. The weather was fine and clear, the coldeast winds gone. There was so much money flying about that everybodywas buying as well as selling; in spite of all that was brought intothe town by the visitors, nothing was left when they went away,because all had been spent. We thought that the harvest would lastforever. We looked to a season like that of Bath, which goes on allthe year round. If our people took more money in one day than they hadbefore taken in a whole month, they thought that it would go on dayafter day, and they spent it all without restraint. Nay, the wives anddaughters of those who had kept humble shops and been content with fatbacon and hot milk for breakfast, and more bacon for dinner; who hadbeen clad in homespun, now drank tea with bread and butter forbreakfast like the Lady Anastasia herself; dined off ducks andgoslings; drank fine ale and even Canary and Lisbon; and ventured toattend the assembly where they stood up to the country dance in silklike any gentlewoman.
I have mentioned the company of players; they acted three times aweek. We who work for our living are apt to despise these mummers andtheir calling; to pretend every day to be some one else is not, wethink, an occupation worthy of a man, while the painting, thedisguise, the representation, either in dumb show or in words, of allthe passions in turn, must surely leave the actor no real passions ofhis own. Yet I heard, while this company was with us, cases of suchgenerosity and Christian charity one towards the other when the moneyceased to come in, that I am constrained to allow them at least thegreat Christian virtue of love for one another.
Besides the players, there were the singers and the musicians of thespa; and there were jugglers, mountebanks, tumblers, tight-ropedancers, ballad-singers, fortune-tellers, conjurers, pedlars andhawkers of all kinds. The town of Lynn, formerly so quiet and retired,with no other disturbance than that caused by a brawl among drunkensailors, became suddenly transformed into the abode of all the devilsdisengaged at the moment. There were sharpers busy at the races andthe cocking; men who laid bets, and if they lost, ran away, but loudlydemanded their money when they won; there was gambling; there wasdrinking; there was fighting; the servants were as corrupt as theirmasters; there were fresh scandals continually; a reputation lostevery day; there were duels fought over drunken quarrels, about women,about bets and wagers; the clerks of the counting-houses were filledwith the new spirit of gambling; there were lotteries and raffles inwhich everybody took tickets, even if they got the money for themdishonestly. In a word, the pursuits of pleasure proved a mad race,down a broad and flowery path, on each side of which were drinkingbooths, and music, and dancing, while at the end there opened wide....You shall speedily learn what this was.