I nod.
“Trust me when I say that Will is the bigger fish to fry. You will have your kill, and you will get everything you want. Only now, I help you with it.”
I look at the man standing before me, the one who knows only a few facts about who I truly am, and I am mind blown. Flabbergasted even.
“Fine,” I grit out between clenched teeth.
Chapter 13
She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.
-Ariana
Jenna
Two weeks have passed since Dmitri found out a bit about my identity. Since then, he hasn’t pressured me to come forward with any more information. He asked questions about Purgatory and my involvement with them. I told him everything. They consider me one of them since Darius picked me up when I was young. Even though I’m not always there to vote on certain issues or be an active member of the gang, I still am.
I’ve come to a place where I head at least once every week. I come here so that I can remember the pain that was forced into my life. I’ve been coming more over the past few days than anything. I’m so angry at Dmitri. I’m furious at him for taking away what I deserved to do – for killing Bones, for believing that he was doing something good for me. I deserved it. I fucking needed it.
After years of doing what I’ve been doing I feel like I’m going to slip up and become sidetracked. I’ve almost been doing this for a decade, but I swear to God I’ll finish what Will started.
He started the bloodshed, the agony, the pain.
It’s my right to finish it, to tear him into pieces just as badly as he did to me. Darius gave me the heads up that Will is on his way back home, and I intend to use that knowledge to create a plan.
I’m going to kill him. I’ll give him the most agonizing death I could dream of. I’ve wanted this for years, the vengeance, the revenge, the bloodshed. I just must be patient, to wait until he shows his face back into his club. He won’t see it coming. Hell, no one will. He’ll think that he’s safe in the clubhouse. He isn’t.
He’s anything but safe.
I’m in the park, about twenty miles east of the Skulls Renegade MC. He dragged me to this place when I was just thirteen. He nailed my father to the tree in front of where I now stand and tortured him. I swear I can tell you exactly where he was positioned, where he drove the nails into his skin. I swear I can still see the blood on this tree, it’s been years yet whenever I’m here I feel all the pain as if it happened just yesterday.
I go by Jenna Lawrence, but my real name is Tegan Hill, daughter of previous Skulls Renegade Enforcer Beau Hill. We were both dragged out into the middle of these woods and tortured all because Will Michaels found out that my father was speaking to another Prez. My father gave everything to Skulls Renegade, including his life, and it still wasn’t enough. I’m getting my revenge, not just for myself, but for my father too.
I visit this park once a week as a reminder to stick to my cause. I’ve wanted to give up so many times, years of doing this, and Will Michaels hasn’t showed up to the club once. But I planned, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t work. I’ll wait for however long it takes, and I’ll make him suffer far greater than I did, than my father did. He’ll beg me for mercy as I take the life from his eyes, and then he’ll burn with the devil.
I am dragged out of my thoughts when Max and Spart both start whining. I come out here to reflect, but also to run, they love running too and we don’t have much space at the clubhouse, so the parks are perfect.
“Gey,” (Go) I tell them. They both know German commands thanks to Enzo and his friend who trains them. He helped me turn them into defense dogs. They both run down the trail ahead of me. I slide my earphones in and start playing On my Own by Ashes Remain. I run after them, noticing how Max turns his head back every few seconds to make sure I am behind them. It may seem silly to think, but those two dogs give me more than my vengeance to live for. They’re my family, my companions. I feel like I don’t have to keep up the façade, like they somehow know exactly who I am, even if sometimes I don’t know who that is.
I increase my pace, wanting to get a good few miles in today. The three of us run down the trail for two miles and then the two miles back, a few hundred feet from where I parked my decked-out Dodge Charger. They stick behind me a bit, walking as I jog back, letting my heart rate slowly come down.
I have my ear phones in as I hear a loud crack from behind me. Just as I slip my ear phones out and tuck them into my sports bra, something cold and fine wraps around my throat, dragging me backwards. I am struggling with all my might both to the person that has ahold of me, and myself. Fighting my inner anxiety, my terrifying worries of not being able to get out of this mess flooding through my mind.
I flip around facing whomever is doing this to me and see that it is a man I don’t recognize. I look around for my dogs, my protectors, not seeing them anywhere in sight. I know my eyes have widened as the man in front of me smiles, and I’m not talking about the cute way. It reminds me of how the wolf looked at little red riding hood. It is predatory. Calculating. I know this look all too well. It is the expression I see when I look in the mirror.
“What’s a pretty girl like you doin’ out here all alone?”
I glare up at him. He takes the wire around my neck and tightens it, cutting off most of my air supply. “Oh, I suppose you can’t really tell me, can you?” His clammy hand wraps around my shoulder, shoving me down on the ground while his other hand still fixates around the wire. “This can go two ways, the easy way, or the hard way.”
I don’t know what is in store for me today, especially with this unknown man. I’d already had incredible horror done to me in these woods. I refuse to let another horrific thing happen to me here. There is no way for me to read his mind and figure out what he has planned for me, but I know one thing. I won’t allow this to happen.
“Tsk. Tsk. Don’t you think about moving those hands of yours.”
He slides his body over mine, so I can’t move an inch. I look for an out, anything that could be used to my advantage. Gazing around me, I look for rocks in reach, a small pebble, even a twig. There is nothing I can use to help me right now. That is, until he makes a wrong move and puts his face too close to mine. I take this golden opportunity for what it is, slamming my head into his nose. I claw at his face when I have the chance, grabbing onto his skin and digging my newly done acrylic nails straight into his flesh. He recovers quickly by slamming his face into mine. I feel the loud cracking sound inside of me, something I never thought possible.
He laughs as he tightens the wire. “Hard way it is.”
He slams his fist into my jaw, then the side of my face. I am struggling to breathe as his grip tightens around the wire, and he keeps laying punches into my face. The throbbing sensation shoots through my body over and over again. “Are you going to keep giving me trouble, baby? He never said you’d be this pretty. I’m going to have some fun with you.”
I can’t respond. I can barely breathe, and I start seeing stars. Don’t pass out, don’t you dare fucking pass out, I tell myself.
His hands go to my sports bra, tearing the material in the middle, my breasts popping free and his face diving for them. I want to vomit. I never minded men appreciating my body, especially given the façade I had to live under all of these years, but this is different – it is violence.
He pulls a knife out of his jeans, cutting through the material of my leggings and dragging long cuts through my skin as he does it. I cringe and cry out as the knife goes further into my flesh.
It takes one more cry, and he releases the wire around my neck. I think he thought that he had one up on me, that I was done, that I wasn’t going to be a problem for him any longer. He was so wrong. He doesn’t know the girl he is fucking with.
Glancing to the left, I see my saviors. My angels.
Spart and Max.
“Packen! Packen! Packen!” (Bite! Bite! Bite!) I scream. Both of my boys come charging down the trail to my rescue. I can hear their growls from a hundred feet away. The sounds coming out of their mouths is something primal – something more vicious than I ever had heard before. My assailant doesn’t know what to do. The dogs definitely shock him. As I think I am going to be able to get free, he slams my head into something sharp behind me. Suddenly, I feel even dizzier than before, but that doesn’t kill the raging desire to fight inside me.
I see it.
His knife.
I don’t know when he dropped it but know I had to get that knife. I don’t think of me. I think of my boys, how he can stab one of them. I lift up my hips in a sudden movement, shocking him more than he already is. Max and Spart are coming right up on us, and I take my opportunity. I slam my fist into his Adam’s apple and dive for the knife. The wire around my neck tightens back up until I hear the groans coming from my attacker. I look up and see both of my boys biting into parts of him. His attention drifts from me and goes straight to my boys. As Spartacus bites onto his neck, loosening his grip around the wire around my own, Max redirects and grabs one of his legs. The screams of agony coming out of my attacker is nothing I feel sorry for. He tries his dandiest to kick at my dogs without success, they are too fast and too pissed off for him to be able to do a damn thing.
I turn my body and quickly roll out from him. There is only one thing left for me to do. I stand up, body staggering back and forth. My eyes scan up and down, looking for the knife. Where did it go? I saw it only a couple feet away from where I was laying. Quickly, I scoop it up and throw it off into the woods as far as I possibly can.
Then, I run.
I run as fast as my aching body will allow.
I slide my hand into my pocket, grabbing at the keys to my Charger.
I call back to my dogs “Komm, Komm!” (Come, Come!) They both stop and run towards me. I don’t know how I manage to get them and myself in the car and head back to the clubhouse, but I do.
Chapter 14
Remember, for everything you have lost, you have gained something else. Without the dark, you would never see the stars. - Wachabuy.com
Jenna
I cover myself up with the shirt I normally paired with my outfit, it isn’t much coverage, but at least I won’t be exposed to everyone at the club when I pull in. The throbbing on my face and head are worse. I can feel the pounding in the back of my head. I didn’t know how bad I was, I just know that this isn’t good. I counted fifteen blows to my face. Fifteen too many. I’ll have to assess my body for injuries when I got back into the club.
Shit.
I pull my car past the gates of the clubhouse, turning my wheel, and I spot my hand and the blood steadily dripping down it. I don’t even know how I got cut on my hand. Maybe throwing the knife, maybe something else.
I slowly approach my parking space on the left side of the clubhouse. Not too close to the doors but also not too far away. I quickly put my car into park as dizziness starts to wash over my sight. Opening the door, sliding my hand along the frame, I use it to support myself. Of all the times to get dizzy again, it has to be right now? Both of the dogs hop out almost immediately after me, whining loudly, causing brother and brother to divert their attention to me.
“Jenna?” I glance around to see who is calling my name, not being able to recognize anything. My vision worsens as the moments pass by, and all I can see are shadow like figures surrounding me. I try again, so hard, to recognize who is in front of me. Blinking rapidly, I thought I’d be able to see them. It doesn’t help one bit.
“What the fuck happened?” I can’t see anything for shit. What I can do is recognize the irritated voice in front of me.
Enzo.
All of a sudden, I am a goner, my legs turning to jello under my body. I am swaying from left to right, barely able to keep myself up. I think somehow my body knows I am safe and is shutting down. It is terrifying. I just want to get back into my room and rest. I don’t want this – the exhibition for everyone around me.
A firm set of hands wraps around my body, pressing me close to him. I know my body wants to move, wants to collapse, wants to shut down. The man holding me to him won’t allow that. He is far too stubborn. “Kotenok,” he growls at me, his voice deeper and darker than I’ve ever heard before. Him calling me kitten brings me comfort, even if my body is pulsing with agony.
“D-Dmitri,” I mumble, as tears slide from my eyes. I’m a strong woman, but at the same time, I know my limitations. All I want to do is stay in the arms of this man – a man who I know will protect me. All I want right now is to feel safe.
“Da, sssh, just relax. It will all be fine. I swear it.” He lifts me up into his arms, causing me to groan with displeasure. His hands are unintentionally digging into my cuts. I can hear both Spart and Max snarling at him.
“Nein,” (no) I tell them. Immediately, they stop growling but whine as Dmitri is carrying me somewhere. That’s the last thing I remember before everything goes black.
***
Dmitri
“What the fuck happened?!” Reed roars throughout the clubhouse. I don’t humor him by looking in his direction. I have Jenna laying on top of the pool table as I assess her injuries. I grab the first aid kit next to me and toss almost everything out of it. This first aid kit is bullshit. Nothing is useful to me besides the antiseptic cream, gauze, and alcohol.
“Dmitri. What. Happened!” he huffs loudly as he steps closer in my direction. I turn back to him for a second, only taking my eyes a way for her as short of a time as I possibly can.
“Enzo. Ice,” I order. Enzo listens as instructed and brings over a Ziploc baggie filled with ice. “Press it against her face, it should help bring the swelling down.” He nods in agreement. I keep looking over Jenna’s body. She has deep jagged cuts marking her legs. I brush her hair back with my hand, that’s when I notice the sticky mess. She’s bleeding.
I grab as much gauze as I can and press it against the wound on the back of her head, careful not to do any more damage.
“What HAPPENED?!” Reed is becoming more and more irate as the moments pass us by. I don’t blame him. Inside I am stewing, demanding to know what happened to my girl.
“I can’t help her if you keep distracting me!” I snap. “Which is it. You keep yelling at me, or you step the fuck outside while I try to help her?” I know I’ve just disrespected him. The truth is, I don’t care much. My main concern is getting Jenna better, treating her so she stops bleeding. I quickly realize that my sudden outburst is not going to help me and sure as hell isn’t going to help Jenna. “On second thought, I need your help. Grab the gauze and press against the wounds on her legs. I’m hopeful the cuts will stop bleeding, but if they don’t…”
“If they don’t, what?” Enzo asks. I know he cares for Jenna. I think he always has. He loves my woman. I’m not blind. But he will keep his emotions in check.
“I’ll have to give her a lot of stiches,” I answer quickly, thinking of the way Jenna will feel about the scars on her body. She’d rather live than slowly bleed out and become infected. Of that, I’m sure.
“I want to know what the fuck happened,” Reed seethes quietly, applying pressure to Jenna’s cuts.
“No one wants to know what happened to her more than I do. We will find out what happened to my girl,” I promise him.
***
I ended up having to give Jenna stiches. Somehow, she stayed asleep during it all. I’d say it’s from the hit she took to her head. I’ve been in her room for nine hours watching her sleep, making sure that she’s still fucking breathing.
I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve seen more battered and beaten women than any man should. When I was in Texas and Jimmy still had his reign over the Vipers MC, well, we all saw a lot of shit. Jimmy loved to toss around women. I wanted to rip his hands off and throw them in the fire. I should’ve. I could have done something to help the women
he abused. I couldn’t help many, just one. Most would feel badly for saying that. I don’t. I knew her life was more important than the rest, and I did everything in my power to make sure that she survived.
I grew up alongside Elena. She is, in a sense, my adoptive sister. We’d always been close friends, but Jimmy always had other ideas. When she turned fifteen he slapped me on the back, gave me a condom and told me to claim my prize. Just like that. He wanted me to take his daughter’s virginity, rape her.
Jimmy wasn’t easily fooled. I went up to her room that night, locked the door, and told her exactly what her father wanted me to do. I think that’s when things changed for her. The moment she knew she needed to get out. I was too old for Elena, a few years older, nothing crazy, but not something a father would want for his fifteen-year-old daughter. From that day forward, we pretended to be in a relationship. We pretended until the day she got out. The day she ran. I never went looking for her. I was ordered to, and I denied Jimmy. I said no, and I’ll forever have the scars to mark my body for that choice. I made the right choice. I knew that no matter what, she’d be okay. Elena was a survivor, and she’d get out.
She did get out.
I hear a light rap on the bedroom door. I slowly get up, careful not to stir the dogs or Jenna from their slumber. When I open the door, I see Enzo standing there, he had two bowls full of food and one big bowl of water. “Brought the dogs some food. Figured you might wanna stretch your legs for a bit and rest.”
“Da,” I mutter. I walk over to her, pulling a soft blanket up over her body. I don’t want her to get a chill. I also don’t want Enzo to look at her so exposed. She’d been beaten, hurt. She wouldn’t want many to see her like this.