Dave pulled on his pajamas and slid underneath the covers. “Can I get some sleep, Patti? I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”
Patti snatched the covers from him in a frenzy. “Stop playing with me, Dave! DAMN IT, I’M SERIOUS!” she shouted at him.
Dave took a deep breath to calm himself as he sat up to speak. “Now look, Patti, you wanted to keep playing these little panty-games, and it ain’t fun no more. I don’t have any more energy for that. So look, give me back my sheets, and shut up before you wake up my daughter.”
It was too late. Tracy heard them going at each other from her room. She sat up in her bed, wide awake, realizing that her mother was losing her daddy.
Several weeks more had passed, and Patti tried her hardest to avoid Tracy’s daddy questions. Nevertheless, her mother’s lack of answers didn’t appear to stop Tracy from asking.
“Mommy, tell me how you met my dad?” she asked one morning.
Patti shook her head, exhausted by them. “You just won’t quit, will you? Okay, girl, what do you want to know?” she said, sitting down to join her daughter eating breakfast.
“Where did you meet him at?”
“I met him at a college party.”
“Daddy went there?”
“Yup, and he was one of the most handsome guys there.”
“And did he like you?”
“Well, he came over and asked me to dance.”
“And you said, ‘yes’?”
“Of course I said, ‘yes.’ I wouldn’t have said, ‘no’ to him.”
“And then you got married?”
Patti grinned and shook her head. “No, not that fast. First mommy had to get him away from all the other girls.”
“How did you do that?”
Her mother reflected on “the good old days.”
“By being more sexy than them,” she answered. Patti then lost track of time as she thought back to the many weeks of seduction. She used to take Dave out to Fairmount Park at night and do wild and crazy things under the privacy of the trees. She used to sneak him into her house at night, while her parents and sisters slept.
Patti painted a facade of not appearing to be jealous whenever other women showed interest in Dave. She acted as if she was above them, which made Dave feel more comfortable with her. Patti was always two steps ahead of the game.
The long talk Tracy had with her mother about how her parents met made them run late. Tracy’s girlfriends at school wanted to know why.
“Why was you late today, Tracy?” Judy asked at recess.
Tracy was usually one of the first students at school. “I wasn’t late,” she told her nosy friend.
“You was almost late,” Celena interjected, siding with Judy.
“Well, almost ain’t good enough,” Tracy snapped.
Her friends caught on to her disdain and dropped the subject. They sat and quietly watched the boys play ball. They all watched Aaron, except for Tracy. Tracy was too wrapped into herself and her family to think of any boy.
“Aaron is the best one at keep-away. They can’t catch him for nothin’,” Celena commented.
Judy sat and stared.
“So?” Pam huffed. “What ’chew watchin’ him for?”
“Because, he fun to watch,” Celena answered.
Tracy said out of the blue, smiling, “Ay y’all, guess what my mother told me? She told me that she took my dad from a whole lot of other girls.”
“She did?” Judy asked, stuffing her mouth with a cupcake.
“Yup, and then they got married and had me.”
“WATCH OUT, GIRL!” Aaron shouted, zipping past them with other boys chasing behind him.
“HEY, AARON! WATCH WHERE YOU GOIN’, BOY!” Celena yelled.
Tracy paid him no mind. She continued with her story.
“Well, anyway . . .”
“So are you saying that it’s over?” Tanya asked her sister, Patti, that evening. They sat in Tanya’s small living room. She lived in a small, three-bedroom house in Logan, Philadelphia.
“Girl, I don’t know. I mean, he hardly talks to me,” Patti responded.
“Yeah, that’s how they get when they wanna call it quits. Either they ignore you or they get on your damn nerves until you can’t take it anymore,” Tanya told her.
Tracy was upstairs playing with her cousins Patrice and Kamar.
“I mean, what am I supposed to do?” Patti asked helplessly.
“Tell him that you love him and that you’ll try your best to work things out,” Tanya calmly suggested.
Patti snapped, “Are you serious? I’m not fuckin’ beggin’ him shit. He’s the one cheating on me.”
“Well, okay, Miss Know-it-all. Why the hell are you asking me in the first place, since you got all the answers?”
They sat quietly for a few minutes before Patti apologized. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just under a lot of stress right now.”
Tanya was still annoyed. “You think I don’t know that? Me and John have arguments, too. It ain’t like I don’t have to sit down and think things out myself sometimes.
“That’s one of your damn problems, Patti. You always take other people for granted. Now you gettin’ some of your own medicine.”
“What, you think this is my fault?”
Tanya looked at her sister curiously. “I don’t know, Patti. Is it your fault? You tell me.”
Patti sat and thought about it. Maybe I have overdone things a few times, she told herself. But it ain’t all my damn fault! I mean, he’s not even trying to talk it all out. He’s just trying to punish some-fucking- body.
“Dave, we need to talk. I mean, our marriage isn’t over, is it?” Patti asked, settling into bed after putting Tracy to sleep.
Dave rolled away from her. He stared at the rain out of their bedroom window. “Ain’t shit come out my mouth, did it?” he answered sourly.
“That’s funny. I thought you said that I curse too much.”
“Well, I’ve changed, and your shit is rubbing off on me.”
Patti eyed his back. “Aren’t you gonna take a shower?” she asked, attempting to provoke him.
“Why should I take a shower?”
“Didn’t you make love to her?”
Dave paused. “No, I just went to dinner with her, and she kissed me,” he lied. He wasn’t dating any other woman, he simply wanted to give Patti something to think about. Maybe she’ll tell me to get out, he thought to himself. He felt as if he was suffocating in their marriage. Maybe I was too damned young to get married. I was just finishing school when she got pregnant.
Patti wanted to kill him. She fucking kissed you, hunh? she felt like screaming at him while pounding her fists against his head and back. Then she thought about what Tanya had said earlier, and decided to use her head. “So . . . what are we going to do now?” she pleaded. “Are you ready to throw away your life with me and your daughter for this woman?”
“I think I need to take a little break for a while. I got this little apartment I’ve been looking at,” Dave announced to her.
What? You need a damn break? Patti felt like yelling at him. She took a deep breath instead, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I don’t want you to go, baby,” she whispered into his ear. “We can work this thing out.”
Dave shook his head, set on moving out. “It’s too late for that now.”
Patti rolled to the edge of the bed. She hoped maybe he would ask where she was going. She went down to the kitchen. She thought about grabbing a knife.
“Did you sleep well last night, sweetheart?” Patti asked Tracy at breakfast.
“Yup, I had a dream that I could fly.”
“You did? And were you scared?”
“Unh hunh.”
Patti gave her a medium-size box to open. “Your daddy bought this for you.”
Tracy opened the box and pulled out a stuffed animal. “Wow, he got a suit on!” She held it up and hugged it to her chest. It was a tan lion wearing a black tuxedo with a white bow tie.
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“When did daddy buy me this?” she asked.
“Last night, because he’s not going to be around as much.”
Tracy raised her brow in alarm. “He’s not?”
“No, because he decided to move out,” Patti told her.
Tracy’s hazel eyes ballooned. “Why-e-e, mommy?”
Patti looked away, feeling both guilt and anger. “Because we don’t get along anymore.”
“Is he still gonna come see us?”
“Yes, but he won’t be staying with us for a while.”
“Well, when is he coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t like each other anymore?” Tracy squealed.
“I don’t know, honey.”
“Well, how can I go to play with him and ask him questions and stuff?”
“He never really played with you, honey. Do you remember any things that you and your father did together?”
Tracy thought about it. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “But I like it when he’s here, ’cause he makes me feel good.”
Patti smiled at her and sat her daughter on her lap. “I know. Daddy made me feel good too.”
Tracy smiled back and said, “Yeah, dad is fun.”
“He sure is, baby, but now we’re going to have our own fun.”
“How?”
“Well, by going shopping and stuff, ’cause daddy said you’re going to get an allowance.”
Tracy was puzzled. “Allowance? What’s that?” she asked.
“It’s money after a certain period of time.”
“He wants me to have money?”
“Yeah, he doesn’t want his baby to be wearing rags. He wants you to wear nice things.”
“Well, who’s gonna pick me up from school?”
“I don’t know yet, but let me tell you something, honey.” Patti tossed her arms tightly around her daughter’s growing body. “No matter what you do, my little princess, never let any little boy break your heart. It’s a rough world out there for us girls, ’cause everything is geared for the boys to do. And they can just get up and walk away from you whenever they want to. Just like your father did.”
Tracy nodded.
“They can do whatever they want, and we’re supposed to sit back and be complacent,” Patti went on.
“What’s that mean, mommy?”
“That means you’re supposed to sit on benches and talk to your little girlfriends until some boy wants to talk to you.”
“Yuck, I don’t like boys,” Tracy told her.
Patti shook her head and smiled. “Yeah, I know. But you remember this, you hear? You always go after what you want in life, and never give anything away without a good reason.”
“Yeah, ’cause I don’t like to give candy, now.”
Patti chuckled to herself. Her daughter was in another world. She’ll eventually understand what I’m talking about, Patti told herself. She’ll learn. “You’re a beautiful little girl, and you stay strong, okay?” she said, shaking Tracy on her lap and kissing her cheek to cheer her up and get her off to school.
“Okay, mommy,” Tracy responded with a smile. She then lifted up her arm in a bodybuilding pose. “I’m gon’ be real strong.”
Patti laughed at her. “Girl, you’re just too much.”
trouble next door
Two years had passed, and Tracy was hanging out with her mother regularly. They went to the malls, parks, museums and theaters. Tracy grew to love and respect her mother’s points of view on everything. Mommy wore nice clothes, so Tracy wanted nice clothes, too. They watched TV together. They chose Patti’s dates together. They did everything together, just like girlfriends. But nothing seemed to satisfy the void of Tracy’s father. He still hadn’t decided to come back home and stay with them.
Beth picked Tracy up from school, and Tracy would stay with them until her mother got in from work. But Raheema’s home, although it was full, wasn’t as warm and cheerful as hers. Their home seemed lifeless and dreary, even with all of its members.
Raheema’s older sister, Mercedes, did nothing but homework. She and Raheema went to Catholic elementary school and wore uniforms. Raheema and Tracy would sneak around the house, getting into trouble and then drag Mercedes into it, making her life miserable. Their father, Keith, was strict and intimidating, so Mercedes stayed moody behind closed doors.
Mercedes was thirteen, and she had matured enough to communicate with boys. Keith would have more than he anticipated on his hands in due time. Young teenagers were starting to walk Mercedes home from school and hang out with friends who lived on her block.
“Ay, Mercedes, come here for a minute,” a rather plain-looking boy said. He was nothing to get excited over. Mercedes’ walnut-brown complexion, dark eyes and long silky hair aroused him, though. He thought she was gorgeous. She had the “Indian look.”
Mercedes walked over to him. The boy stood with one foot in the street and one on the sidewalk. Beth was inside the house cooking, and Keith was not expected home for another three hours.
“Yes?” Mercedes asked the boy, keeping a good distance from him. She didn’t like him or anything, she only wanted to see what he wanted.
“Come here. I ain’t gon’ bite ’chew girl, dag,” the boy said with a smile.
Mercedes didn’t want to be any closer to him. “What?” she asked.
“You got a thorough-ass name,” he told her. “Ay Kev, ain’t ‘Mercedes’ a decent name?”
“YEAH!” his friend shouted from across the street.
Mercedes smiled at that. She was flattered. She waited for the boy to ask her something else. She liked talking to boys but didn’t want to get serious with them, yet.
The plain-looking boy studied Mercedes’ white, blue and gray uniform. “So you go to Catholic school, hunh?”
“Yeah, but I don’t like it,” she said.
“You don’t?” he asked, pointlessly.
Mercedes sucked her teeth and answered, “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I just don’t.”
“Uuuuww, Mercedes talkin’ to a boy!” Tracy squealed, bolting from the house with Raheema.
“Yuuup, we gon’ tell,” Raheema warned.
“Hold up, I’ll be right back,” Mercedes told the boy. She ran to the patio steps. The two little ones ran inside the house and up the stairs to Raheema’s room. Mercedes chased after them.
“Why you do that?” she hissed, yanking her sister’s arm.
“Because daddy don’t like you talking to boys.”
“So, who cares what he likes? I hate him anyway. And you better not tell on me, either.”
“Did you like ’dat boy, Mercedes?” Tracy asked excitedly.
“No. He was ugly,” Mercedes answered.
“Does he like you?”
“I think he does. He wanted to talk to me.”
“What did ’ju say to him?”
Mercedes looked down and frowned at Tracy. “Dag, girl, you writin’ a book or something?”
“Well, what did ’ju say?” Tracy repeated.
“I didn’t say that much. He just asked me about school and stuff.”
Raheema remained silent, with her lips poked out.
“Mommy, Mercedes was talkin’ to this boy today, and she said he was ugly.”
“Mercedes is talking to boys now, hunh?” Patti asked while she searched through her closet for something to wear.
Tracy plopped on her mother’s vanity chair inside of the bedroom. “Yup, and me and Ra-Ra saw her.”
“You did?” Patti said, picking out a dark green dress.
“Yup, and then he chased us.”
“He did what?” Patti responded, giving her full attention.
“I mean, she did.”
“Oh, okay. I thought maybe you were out there playing or something.”
“No, me and Ra-Ra was in the house.”
“Well, we’re going out to eat tonight, sweety,” Patti said, chang
ing the subject.
“Who we goin’ wit’? Jus’ me and you, mom? Hunh?”
Patti paused for a minute and gave her daughter a stern look. “What I tell you about talking so fast? I can’t even understand you sometimes. Everything that you do, you just have to be so fast about it. Slow down sometimes when you speak.”
“Okay,” Tracy perked.
“Now, mommy has a date, and I’m going to take you with me. So go wash your hands and face.”
Patti scooted her daughter toward the bathroom.
“Okay,” Tracy said, running.
Patti wanted to establish a family feeling with the new man she was getting close to. If Dave wasn’t going to show any consistent responsibility, then Patti was ready to open up her options for a man who would.
Paul Greggory was tall, with smooth caramel skin and a mustache. He drove them to a romantic restaurant in his sporty Camaro. The service was impeccable. That was a plus for Paul. Tracy never liked waiting long.
The food was well prepared. Paul cut Tracy’s steak and potatoes, buttered her bread and wrapped her napkin around her neck. Patti was impressed with his manners. Then he ordered ice cream for dessert, their favorite.
“Hey, mom, he got us ice cream,” Tracy said cheerfully.
“Yup, he sure did. So do you like it, honey?”
Tracy hunched her shoulders in her tan dress. “It’s okay, but I liked that place where dad used to take us better.”
“And where was this?” Paul asked her.
“I don’t know, but it was a long way though.”
“And did they have cherry-vanilla ice cream there?” Paul asked her while winking at Patti.
Paul wore a navy-blue sports jacket and a cream-colored shirt with no tie.
“I’on know,” Tracy answered him.
“We used to get sundaes,” Patti said.
“Oh, okay. Well, we could’ve gotten a sundae. Would you like to still go get one?” Paul suggested to Tracy. He leaned over the table and smiled at her.
“I don’t care,” Tracy told him.
Patti watched to see if her daughter liked him.
They drove to the ice cream store where Dave used to take them. Tracy fell asleep in the car.
“Okay, Tracy, we’re here,” Patti said, grabbing on to a limp arm.