“See? She’s dying to replace you, Penny. I knew it.” Courtney scowls at Kayla, who scowls right back.
“Oh my God, stop, Court. You’re not making any of this better.” I reach over to grab her arm, but she jerks out of my hold.
“Neither are you, letting them cry and sob and act like the world is coming to an end. What sort of leader are you?” Court glares at me, then casts her smile at everyone else like she’s the queen and we’re her servants. They all just glare at her in return. “I know exactly what we need.”
“Oh, please, Court. Tell us,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
“A party!” Courtney claps her hands and bounces on the edge of my bed. “I’m serious! We need a party to lighten the mood. Maybe we could have the party tonight. What do you think? All of this down-and-out, we’re-all-gonna-die talk—it’s getting old. I’m over it.”
“We can’t have a party,” I whisper. “Lex just died.” I think of her family. I think of the detectives, the school, Mr. Rose and Mrs. Adney. Our families. What would they think if we had a party in celebration of Lex’s death?
Oh hey, I know. They’d think we’ve lost our minds.
“I know she just died. Do you really think Lex would want us moping around, crying over her? Hell no! So we’ll have a party this weekend. It’ll be a celebration of her life. And a celebration of Gretchen’s life, too! A big bash will be the perfect kickoff into the afterlife they’d want,” Court says with a shout and a fist pump.
No joke.
Like, she’s serious right now. I can barely wrap my head around her behavior. Fist pumps and parties and life celebrations? Court has clearly lost her mind.
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea—” Dani starts, her voice hesitant, but Courtney interrupts her.
“You never think anything is a good idea. What’s wrong with having a party and cutting loose? We’ve been so tense these last few days. You need to relax. Plus, I’ll invite all the boys, including Brogan, Dani.” Courtney offers up Brogan like he’s a rich, decadent dessert and Dani’s on a strict no-sugar diet.
Dani’s eyes light up and I know she can’t help herself. She can’t resist Brogan. It’s almost pitiful, especially when I know Courtney is secretly sexting and most likely hooking up with Brogan on the side.
I should warn Dani before she really makes a fool of herself over this boy. But how do I break it to her? She’s crushed on Brogan for years. We’ve told her time and again he’s not that interested in her and she still pursues him. I don’t know if I want to be the one who tells her that Brogan is sexting one of her closest friends.
But who else will watch out for her?
Ugh.
“You want us to have a party? A blow-out bash in celebration of Gretchen and Lex? Really? Are you guys for real?” Alyssa asks incredulously. Her protest surprises me. She’s the one who tends to go along with everything we suggest, and she rarely—if ever—argues. But this is good. She’s showing us she has a backbone. “If we have a party, don’t you think people will think the Larks are…tacky, especially if we have one so close to Lex’s…murder? It’s totally disrespectful.”
“They’ll think we’re awesome because they need the escape,” Courtney points out, as if she’s ever so logical.
Please.
“Before we commit to throwing a party, we really need to think it through,” Alyssa continues, Grace and Kayla nodding in agreement.
“Personally, I think it’s a great idea!” Maggie leaps to her feet, a big smile on her freckled face. With her hair in two French braids and wearing a pair of black leggings and a PINK sweatshirt, she actually looks pretty cute today. “We can charge to enter and call it a fund-raiser. That way we raise money and can donate to a charity that was near and dear to Lex’s heart—and Gretchen’s, too. What do you think?”
Okay, let’s be real for a minute. It may be totally tacky and disrespectful to party it up so soon after both girls’ deaths, but I do have to say Maggie’s fund-raising suggestion is a good one. Meaning, it’s the perfect thing to say to the school, because they’re going to step in on this one considering we’re a school club. And they’ll probably tell us we shouldn’t or flat-out can’t do it.
“We can have the party at my house,” Courtney says, a smug smile curling her lips. She’s confident the party plan is going to happen, which is typical Court behavior. Once she gets an idea in her mind, nothing seems to stop her. “My parents are going out of town for a two-week European vacation and they leave this Thursday. They won’t have a clue what’s going on.”
Courtney’s house is huge, with twenty bathrooms, I swear. She also lives up on Hot Springs Road, in an ultra exclusive gated community where like, Oprah has a giant mansion. Everyone will want to come to Court’s party. I don’t think even a couple of murders will stop them.
“How much should we charge to get in?” Dani asks.
I shoot her a look. Dani almost always takes my side. We used to joke that we shared a brain. I was the rational side and she was the silly side. Those are the roles we’ve always taken together, so I’m surprised she’s going for this. We’re a team. We always agree on stuff, especially when it comes to the Larks. “Do you really think this is a good idea?” I ask Dani, who’s blinking at me like I’ve just surprised her with my question. “Having a big party this weekend like everything’s normal? Lex died today.”
“Actually, Lex died last night,” Courtney points out.
Oh my God.
And how exactly does she know that?
Dani offers up a weak smile and shrugs. “Come on, Penelope. It might be fun, to relax and let loose. Don’t you think?”
“No, I don’t think,” I bite out, wondering when I became the only rational one in this group. “It’s an awful idea. What about their families? We’re going to look heartless.”
“No, we aren’t,” Court says. “We’re going to look like we care, because we do. It’s a terrible tragedy, what happened to our friends.” No surprise, she actually stumbled over the word “friends.” “What we’re doing is for the good of the student body.”
Please. Since when does Court care about the student body?
“Maybe we should vote on the party thing?” I ask, looking around the room, hoping to spot some support.
All I see are blank faces staring back at me.
“But this isn’t an official Larks meeting,” Dani says softly, wincing when our gazes meet. She has this pleading look on her face, one I usually cave to, but not this time. “Can’t we just make this happen?”
“We should probably put it to vote,” I say firmly, not giving in. I’m the president, for God’s sake. What I say goes.
Right?
“Does it have to be an official, declared meeting in order for us to make a decision on the Larks’ behalf, Penny?” Courtney asks, her tone snotty.
Trying my best to control my frustration, I turn to everyone and say, “All in favor of having a party in honor of Alexis Nguyen at Courtney’s house this weekend, raise your hand.”
Every single one of them looks at one another before they all raise their hands, except for Alyssa.
Oh. And me.
Crap. We are obviously outvoted.
“You’re not for the party, Penny? How disappointing.” Courtney makes a tsking noise.
I ignore her. “All not in favor, raise your hands.”
They all drop while my and Alyssa’s hands go up.
Courtney claps like she just won the grand prize. “This is great! What day should we have the party? Friday or Saturday?”
“Saturday. The boys have a game Friday night,” Dani answers.
“It’s a bye week,” Grace practically whispers, tugging on the stretched-out sleeve of her sweater. She won’t even look at anyone and I wonder how for this party she really is. Or if she’s just going along with the majority because she thinks that’s the right thing to do. “They aren’t playing again until next week.”
“Then let’s do it Friday! The sooner the better,” Courtney says, throwing her arms up in the air and wiggling around like she can barely contain her excitement. And that might be true. Court loves nothing more than getting her way. “They might have Lex’s funeral on Saturday so Friday works out better anyway.”
Right. Because it’ll be so great when the majority of the school population goes to Lex’s funeral hungover and strung out.
“We shouldn’t do this,” I murmur, though no one’s listening to me. Though it has to be said. I can already feel the guilt washing over me. I don’t want to have this party. It seems cold and callous and awful and…
Wrong.
“How much should we charge?” Dani asks again.
“Five dollars a head, and all proceeds will go to Lex’s favorite cause,” Courtney says and Maggie nods, like they’re a pair or something.
“What was her favorite cause?” I ask them.
Courtney shrugs. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out! Won’t we, Maggie?” Maggie is practically bouncing up and down like she’s a puppy, and I scowl at her. Has she become Courtney’s minion? It’s like I’m slowly losing control over the group and Courtney’s becoming the one they look up to.
“You guys, really—” I start to say but Courtney interrupts me.
“God, lighten up, Penelope!” The look on Court’s face is pure disgust. “We have to do something to shake the blues. I can’t stand how somber everyone is, how we’re all scared to even talk to each other, or even look at each other. It’s like we’ve all turned into a bunch of zombies, and I hate it! It was bad enough with one dead body, and now we have two. We have to party on and overcome this!”
I don’t have the heart to tell her just how insensitive she’s being right now. It’s like she can’t even see how crazy it is to have a party only a few days after someone’s death—in honor of that someone’s death. The entire situation has turned into some sort of a bizarre three-ring circus.
A knock sounds and then Mom pushes open the door, a tentative smile on her face as she scans the room. “Okay, ladies. Who’s in the mood for warm brownies?”
Every girl leaps to her feet and files out of the room, following my mom to the kitchen. I climb off the bed along with Courtney and Dani, and Courtney chases after the girls, demanding that they make more plans.
Dani grabs hold of my arm and stops me, her gaze serious when it meets mine. “You really don’t want to have this party, do you?”
“No. Of course I don’t.” I slowly shake my head, ignoring the disappointment on her face. I’m disappointed, too. She needs to know this. “It’s not right, D. Two of our friends are dead. They were murdered. It looks really bad, to have a party with kegs and weed in supposed celebration of them. It’s weird.”
“I know.” Dani sighs, her shoulders slumping. “But how can we stop her? Courtney is loving every minute of this.”
“Anything to take the attention off the dead girls so everyone can focus on her,” I say bitterly. “Can’t you see it, Dani? Court wants all the attention, all the time. Who cares if her friends are dead? Let’s party!” I raise my hands and wiggle my fingers, full on jazz hands with a fake smile on my face.
Dani shakes her head. “You’re right. I totally get it. So let her be her own demise then, Penny.”
“But don’t you see? We’ll all be dragged into it because this party is being held by the Larks. In everyone else’s eyes, we’re supporting it. And I’m the president. In the end, I’ll look as bad as she does,” I remind her.
“But I don’t know how to get us out of it now,” Dani says, her voice small.
Now it’s my turn to sigh. “I don’t either.”
Chapter
Sixteen
Funny, how my murderous rampage kept us off campus for two days. Most of my fellow students are thrilled—no school! They don’t even think about what happened to make them cancel school. They don’t focus on the gruesome aspects of our unexpected mini vacation in the middle of the week.
The cold, hard facts are that someone we all know is dead. Someone they supposedly love and miss. But Alexis Nguyen was a total bitch—worse than Gretchen, and that’s saying a lot, because Gretchen sucked. The one positive thing about Lex is that you knew what you were dealing with. Yeah, she could be a bitch, but at least she owned it.
Gretchen would try to be nice every once in a while, like she had an attack of conscience or something. Maybe her parents or her shrink encouraged her to try and redeem herself. I have no idea. But the facade always wore down; she could never keep it going for too long. And her true colors would eventually shine.
The police swarmed the school these last two days, searching through every classroom, the lockers, the gym, the faculty lounge, the administrative offices…everything. Cell phone records were subpoenaed. I heard they spied on everyone’s social media, calling people in for questioning when they saw something suspect.
They even brought in FBI specialists to assist in the investigation, though they keep that info on the down low. They don’t want to alarm the fine citizens of Cape Bonita that they might have a potential serial killer in their midst. That sort of rumor would make everyone lose their minds.
I’m sorry, but I know that killing two girls does not make me a serial killer.
Yet.
I need to kill at least one, preferably two more. Considering that’s part of my plan, I’ll be a bona fide serial killer soon. Going down in his-tor-y for ridding the world of a bunch of bullying bitches, how great is this? People at school will put me on a pedestal for killing off the mean girls. My hard work deserves a reward. I’m like the female Dexter, I swear.
Killing them was so easy, now that I look back on it. Gretchen and Lex pretty much asked for what happened to them. And they screamed and carried on, indignant in the face of their death. Especially Lex, whose situation was a little more difficult. It lasted a little longer, and I suppose I should’ve felt bad about her suffering.
But I didn’t.
Next time, I want a challenge. I need a challenge. Someone who proves a little more difficult. Maybe even someone unexpected, though she will still have to stay within my theme.
And I do have a theme—you notice that, right? Everyone would have to be blind or an idiot if they can’t figure it out.
Am I scared they’ll figure me out? No. I’ve been pretty clean, kept a low profile. No fuss, no muss, and I wipe everything down. Or wear gloves. Or change my clothes, get rid of my clothes, whatever needs to be done. No blood evidence. No fingerprints. No witnesses. And I tell no one.
A secret’s not a secret if you tell someone, and guess what? No one knows what I’m doing. Not a soul. This is my biggest secret.
I plan on keeping it that way.
Chapter
Seventeen
The first morning back in school after being off for two days is going as well as expected. Everyone’s extra quiet—I’m sure the teachers love this. It’s not easy, acting like everything’s fine when it’s so not. The police presence is everywhere on campus today. Uniformed officers seem to be everywhere I look, and there were a couple of local news trucks parked out in front of the school when I first got here this morning.
But I try my best to put on my confident face and pretend everything’s okay. I might be dying a little inside—because seriously, it’s hard to fake normal when everything is so not normal—but I’m trying. I really, really am.
By third period I’m exhausted from smiling at everyone and I give myself permission to be my regular self for a while. I hide behind my propped-up physics book while Mrs. Emmert drones on about pendulums and Galileo, slowly rubbing my neck as I stare at my notes for so long, the words start to lose focus.
A folded piece of lined paper lands on top of my desk, right in the middle of my notebook. I glance over at Cass—yes, he still sits next to me, and no I can’t change my seat yet—but he’s not even looking in my direction.
I unfold the pa
per to find one line written across the center.
How you holding up?
Should I answer him? I sneak another look in his direction but he’s totally focused on Mrs. Emmert’s lecture.
Please. He must know I’m studying him.
I write the words why do you care? quickly, fold the paper, and toss it back to him, immediately upset with myself for being so rude.
Too late now.
He taps his pen against the edge of his desk again and again, maybe trying to draw my attention? But I don’t look over at him. I rest my left elbow on my desk and prop my head on my fist, blocking out Cass completely because really, we shouldn’t be talking. I don’t want to talk to him. I want nothing to do with him.
The folded note is back on my desk within minutes, and I stare at it for a long moment before I exhale and unfold the paper.
I was just checking on you. I know this must be hard, what happened to Gretchen and now Lex. I wanted to make sure you were okay.
His words are…kind. Since this has all started, no one has asked if I’m okay. Oh, my parents have, but more because they have to and they’re concerned for my welfare. I know they care, but they’re parents. They’re supposed to care.
No one else has checked on me, and it feels…nice. Even if it is Cass Vincenti who’s doing the asking.
I decide to answer him.
I’m all right. It’s been really hard, and I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m holding up as best I can.
How are you?
When Mrs. Emmert’s back is to us as she writes on the white board, I look over at Cass to find he’s already watching me, his dark eyes meeting mine. I hold my hand out with the note and he takes it from me, his fingers brushing against mine, making my skin tingle.
Weird.
I try to concentrate on what Mrs. Emmert is saying, but I can’t. All I can focus on is Cass sitting next to me, the scratch of his pen as he writes on the paper we’re sharing, the way a lock of dark hair falls across his forehead as he hunches over his desk. I’m blatantly watching him now, slumped in my seat, the book hopefully hiding my face, and I glance over the top edge, watching Mrs. Emmert just as the note lands on my desk once more.