“You don’t mind?”
The look Cass sends me is part annoyance, part affectionate. “Of course I don’t mind, Penelope. Get in the car.”
Remembering Maggie, I turn to tell her I don’t need a ride after all, but she’s gone.
Huh. Maybe she got the hint and decided to take off.
I open the door and climb in, dropping my backpack on the floorboard. He puts the SUV in drive and off we go, tearing out of the parking lot so fast, his tires squeal when he turns onto the street.
I’m hunched over my phone texting my mom that she doesn’t need to come get me after all because I’m with Cass, when he asks me a question.
“Who was that you were talking to?”
“Maggie. She’s one of the junior Larks.” I don’t want to talk about the Larks anymore. It hurts my heart, what I just did. So I change the subject. “Driving your grandma’s car again?”
“Yeah.” He doesn’t even look my way.
“What about the old Mercedes you were driving yesterday?”
“That’s my car. Well, it was my grandma’s, but she gave it to me when I was thirteen.”
I gape at him. “Thirteen?”
“I’ve been driving since I was thirteen, yeah.” He glances over at me, looking amused at my surprise. “My grandma doesn’t like to drive. I helped her out when I could.”
“By driving without a license.”
“Only to the store and stuff. It was no big deal.”
“You could’ve gotten in trouble.”
“I could’ve gotten in trouble for a lot of things. But I didn’t.”
“Does that make it right?”
We come to a stoplight, and he really looks at me. “I don’t think we’re just referring to me driving without a license here.”
“You’re right. We’re not.” I cross my arms, hating how confused I am. I don’t know how to feel about any of this, about him. My emotions are a confused jumble. I’m upset over shutting down the Larks. I’m still mad at Cass, but he’s all I have right now. I don’t really know or trust the Larks girls.
But I don’t really know or trust Cass, either. Not anymore.
When the light turns green, he turns right versus driving straight, and within minutes he pulls into the parking lot of a small city park. “We should talk,” he says the moment he turns the car’s engine off.
“So talk.”
“Pen.” I look up and our gazes lock. “Don’t act this way,” he says softly. “I’m sorry about what happened earlier. I don’t want us to fight.”
“I don’t want to fight, either, but I can’t trust Courtney right now. I don’t know how you can.”
“Court and I, we’ve been through a lot. Like I said, we were in rehab together. We got close in there. We were all each other had.” He sounds distant, like he’s remembering what it was like, being with Courtney in rehab.
It couldn’t have been that great.
“So you were close friends.”
He makes a face, one I can’t decipher. “I guess. We didn’t define what we had.”
My heart is racing. I don’t want to ask this question, but I must know. “Did you have sex with her?”
Now he looks away, remains quiet before he finally says, “No. I already told you that. But we did…kiss once. That’s it, though.”
My reaction is automatic. I climb out of the car. It’s like I have no control of myself. I’m out of the SUV, slamming the door behind me and running toward the kiddie playground, which is currently—thankfully—empty. I hear Cass call my name but I ignore him. I run until I’m standing next to the swing set and I clutch the pole with grasping hands, the cold metal seeping into my palms and making me shake.
Or maybe I’m shaking because I’m angry. Upset. Sad. Annoyed. It’s like Courtney touches what I want and leaves it a toxic, ugly mess. The Larks, the school, my friends, Cass.
I’m sick of it. I’m sick of her.
“Pen.” Cass is standing right behind me. He places his hands on my shoulders and I shrug them away, immediately full of regret. I wish he would try and touch me again.
But he doesn’t.
“Don’t be mad. What happened between Court and me was a long time ago.”
“How long?”
“Sophomore year. We were fifteen.” He takes a deep breath. Exhales slowly. “I was a total mess, she was a mess, too. We recognized each other from school. Well, she claims she didn’t know who I was, but I knew her. They put us together in counseling because we were the same age, and we got close pretty fast. We felt like we had no one else in there, only each other.”
I can relate. That’s exactly how I feel about Cass right now. I have no one else.
Just him.
“Once we got out of rehab, she pretended like she didn’t even know I existed when we were at school, and that fucking hurt. I can’t lie. It was such a slap in the face. I’m good enough to hang out with in rehab, but not where her friends could see her?” He smiles, but it looks more like a baring of teeth. My stomach sinks, because I’ve done that, too. Ignored him. Acted like he doesn’t exist.
But not anymore.
“So I got pissed,” he continues. “And she knew it, but she didn’t care. When I went to the addiction meetings, she’d be there sometimes. And then one day…Gretchen appeared. We were surprised and she was embarrassed, but she got over it pretty quickly. She was a mess, too, and her parents made her go whenever they caught her smoking weed or whatever. Her mom was very controlling of every aspect in her life. It made Gretchen lash out. The woman had no idea that if she would’ve eased up on Gretchen, she probably wouldn’t have done half the shit she did.”
“I remember that about her mom,” I murmur. “She fell completely apart at Gretchen’s funeral.”
“Yeah, it was sad.”
“Did you spend a lot of time with her, too? With Gretchen?”
“Sort of. At first, yeah. She was a lost soul like me, and we started to get closer. Though trust me, there was nothing between us, I was just trying to help her out, and once Courtney saw us together, she got jealous. She and Gretchen were very competitive. They always wanted to one up each other.”
He’s right. I remember that, too. I feel that way now with Courtney. Like she’s trying to outdo me all the time.
“But is Courtney a violent person? Would she kill her competition to end up on top?” He shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”
“Maybe she could.” We don’t really know what pushes a person to do terrible things. “I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“It makes no sense.” He shakes his head.
“You’d rather see the good in people, am I right?” He says nothing. “You were close to Courtney. You hung out with her during a vulnerable time in her life, and a vulnerable time in your life, too. Of course you’re going to get close to her. And you only want to believe she’s a good person.”
“You don’t think she is?”
“Not really.”
“Well, she doesn’t think you’re a good person, either.”
Chapter
Thirty-Two
My mouth drops open. “What did you just say?”
His mouth twists into a frown. “Courtney has never believed you were a good person.”
“And when exactly did she tell you this?” My voice is sharp, but I don’t care. I can’t believe he just told me that.
“A few days ago, before Friday night. But don’t worry,” he reassures me. “I didn’t believe her.”
That is not reassuring. And I am rendered speechless. He’s talking about me to Courtney? And she’s ready to throw me under the bus as soon as she gets the opportunity? God, I hate her.
Seriously.
I do.
“She saw us talking at school and she warned me about you.” He looks away. “I told her it wasn’t necessary. I knew what I was dealing with.”
The only time Courtney could have seen us together was Friday afternoon, when no one e
lse was really around. Which means she was somehow…spying on us.
A shiver moves down my spine. That’s super weird. When I don’t say anything, Cass keeps on talking.
“Since everything that’s happened, I think you’ve turned into a better person. You’re nicer. Gentler. Not strutting around the school all the time looking like you want to tear someone’s head off.”
“You really thought I acted like that? Looked like that?” My voice squeaks. I think it’s because I’m in total shock. He made me sound awful.
Not that I was the nicest person, I realize this. I had a reputation as a snob, yet it never bothered me. I was just following in my sister’s footsteps, who also ruled the school back in the day. Most of the time, I secretly liked it when people would scurry away when they saw me coming. That crowds would part to allow me to walk through and people called my name because they were desperate to be my friend. It made me feel powerful.
That was still happening a few weeks ago. Heck, it still happened today. But it’s not right for me to act that way—to glory in my so-called power and throw it around. It’s not even real.
It’s freaking high school, people.
Time and people are fleeting. I’ve lost three friends, one of them my very best friend, and I finally see it.
Life is short.
I need to make the most of it.
And being a total bitch is not the way to go.
“I’ll be honest. My early assumption of you wasn’t flattering,” he finally admits. “But I only looked on the surface, and that’s all you wanted us to see anyway. I didn’t know you. And you never acted like you wanted to know me.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to know anyone but my close circle of friends and the occasional boy. And even then, the boys drove me crazy and I knew my friends were jerks. “I thought you were weird,” I admit softly.
He laughs. “I am weird. Your early opinion of me is pretty accurate.”
“But I’ve come to realize you’re really nice.” I smile when he grimaces. “You’re smart. You’ve led an…interesting life.”
“Don’t forget you also think I’m devastatingly handsome, right?” He wags his brows.
I laugh and slowly shake my head. “Who fed you that line?”
“My grandma. She calls me that at least once a day, usually in the morning before I leave for school. She’s good for my ego.”
“I bet,” I say drily. “But you are devastatingly handsome—if you’re fishing for compliments.”
“Hey, thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.” His smile falters and his expression grows serious. “I really am sorry about what happened earlier. I don’t want to fight with you. I really do like you, Pen. I like you a lot. I’ve always felt drawn to you, I just didn’t know how to approach you.”
“I like you, too,” I whisper. I’ve never actually admitted that to a boy out loud before. I usually just…fell into relationships. It’s always like next thing I knew, I’m with a guy and he’s my boyfriend. That’s what happened with Robby. One minute he was talking to me, the next minute I agreed to go out on a date with him, and the next minute after that, we were a couple.
Everything’s different with Cass. And I like that. I feel like what we have is special and unique, too.
“So let’s just see where this goes, okay? After everything that happened last weekend, I feel extra close to you. I don’t want to lose that connection.” He reaches out and touches my face, his fingers drifting across my cheek, making my skin tingle. I like it when he touches me. I feel light, like a balloon that could float high into the sky, never to be seen again.
“I don’t want to lose it, either,” I agree in a whisper, my lids growing heavy when he keeps lightly stroking my cheek.
“I have a suggestion.”
“What?” I sound breathless, but I don’t care. This is what he does to me. He may as well know about it.
“Let’s go over to Courtney’s house and see if she’ll talk to us.”
That balloon feeling deflates, just like that. “Are you kidding? No way.” I jerk away from his touch and he drops his hand. “I don’t want to talk to her. She’ll probably try to kill me.”
Irritation flashes across his features. “Come on, Pen. You’re being ridiculous. She’s not going to try and kill you with me there.”
“What, she treats you special?” I ask snottily. Ugh, I need to shut up.
“No, if she really is the killer, it seems she’s only interested in murdering girls. Right? So I’m a dude. She won’t touch me.”
I stare at him, the wind suddenly kicking up, whipping my hair across my face. I can’t even believe I’m considering this. But maybe we should go talk to her. Confront her even. What’s she going to do, lunge at me with a knife? We’ll be in her house and her parents are home. They had to cut their European vacation short once they found out what happened Friday night.
“Your idea is crazy,” I mutter, looking away from him.
“It’s crazy, but you can’t deny it’s a good one, right?” He nudges me with his elbow. “Come on, let’s go over there.”
“What if they won’t let us see her?”
“Then at least we tried.” He shrugs.
“What if she starts yelling at us? What if she accuses one of us of being the killer?”
Cass’s eyes go wide. “You think she’d do that?”
“I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“Then that’s the risk we’ll have to take.” He grabs hold of my arm and gives it a gentle tug, pulling me into his embrace. He’s tall and warm and safe, and I relax against him when he holds me close, even though I’m scared.
“You in, Pen?” he asks.
“I’m in,” I murmur reluctantly against his chest.
Hope I don’t regret this decision.
…
“Penelope, we’re so glad you stopped by.” Courtney’s mom sweeps me into a hug, squeezing me extra tight. She pulls away and holds me at arm’s length, her gaze raking over me as if she’s searching for obvious flaws. “How are you holding up?”
“As best I can,” I tell her somberly.
Mrs. Jenkins nods. “Understandable. Poor Courtney has been an emotional wreck. This entire thing has shaken her to her core. We keep encouraging her to talk, to get it all out, but she won’t. She claims she’s fine.”
“Maybe she’s not ready to talk about it yet,” Cass suggests.
Mrs. Jenkins’s gaze flickers to him. “Who are you?”
I find it weird that a boy who claims he was so close to Courtney has never met her parents, ever. They were in rehab together, and Mrs. Jenkins acts like she’s never seen him before.
Though I guess I shouldn’t find it too weird. This sort of thing happens a lot, especially when two people aren’t that serious about each other. Meaning I don’t think Courtney was that serious about Cass.
No surprise. She’s not serious about anyone.
“This is Cass Vincenti,” I tell her, and Cass reaches out to quickly shake her hand.
“Your grandmother is Sue Vincenti, no?” Mrs. Jenkins asks politely.
“Yes, ma’am. We live just down the street.”
“Of course. In the ivy-covered house.” Her lips curl the slightest bit with seeming distaste. “I’ll go see if Courtney’s feeling well enough to come down and chat with you. Please, have a seat.”
The moment she’s gone, Cass starts pacing around the sitting room she brought us into. “This room is smaller than the one they kept us in Friday night.”
“Yes. This room is for intimate gatherings.”
He smirks and rolls his eyes. “I don’t know how they keep track of all their many rooms.”
“They have hired staff to do that,” I joke, though I’m also serious. His nervous pacing reminds me of a giant cat and within seconds, he’s making me nervous. I grab my phone, scrolling through it so I don’t have to watch him. There’s nothing going on. Even social media is quiet latel
y. I think people go to school and go home, keeping their heads down the entire time. We’re all afraid. And we’ll continue to be afraid until the killer is caught.
“Do you think she’ll talk to us?” I ask Cass.
He stops his pacing. “Yes. I think she will.”
I slowly shake my head when he resumes his pacing. “I think she’ll blow us off.”
“Does she normally do that?”
“You tell me. Has she ever blown you off?”
“Yeah. A couple of times.” He scowls, as if he’s remembering those few times.
“Same. So I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“I think she’s itching to talk. To someone who was there, who saw it all,” he explains. “Like us.”
That isn’t a bad theory. Maybe she’s eager to show off what she knows. She always did love a juicy story. We all did.
“Penny. I can’t believe you came to see me.”
I stand and turn to find Courtney in the doorway, and she is absolutely…beautiful. Her blond hair is perfectly curled in luxurious waves that spill down her back, and her makeup is expertly applied. She’s wearing a long sleeved, fitted black sweater dress and black tights with black knee high boots. She looks like she just walked off a fashion runway as she glides toward me, her rosebud lips parted, her eyes sparkling and bright.
“Courtney…” My voice drifts. What do I say? The last time I saw her, she’d been covered in blood and screaming uncontrollably, denying her involvement. Now she looks like a freaking regal princess, cool and calm. “Are you all right?”
“I’m…well.” She draws me into a hug, holding me close for a beat before she lets go, her gaze then heading to Cass. “Oh, Cass. You’re here, too? It’s so nice to see you.” She hugs him, then backs away, her hands clasped in front of her.
“You look great, Court,” Cass says, and I fight the jealousy bubbling within me. I have no reason to be jealous. Cass came here with me. He’s not interested in Courtney.
“I went to the spa for most of the day,” she tells me in that hushed, intimate tone she likes to use when she drops an interesting bit of information. “It was so refreshing. Just what I needed after everything that happened.” She waves a hand, like she can dismiss all the bad stuff with a few wiggling fingers.